Page 27 of Outside Looking In

“Is she a crush? She’s a pretty girl. I’m kind of over blondes, but to each his own.”

Snip snip.Liam didn’t say anything. The shears spoke for him. Nathan couldn’t see his face, he was practically buried in the ewe’s snatch.Why would Liam be so embarrassed?

“Is she an ex?”

“Yes, and she’s dating my best friend. Former best friend. Now you know who Kelly Harmon is.” Liam had a dead serious look on his face as he motioned with his shears for Nathan to move to the next ewe.

“That’s rough. Really rough. If you tell me where they live, I’ll gladly slash their tires.”

“No thank you.” Liam snipped away.

“Relationships are bollocks anyway,” Nathan said. “It’s like here’s this person that you say you love and would do anything for, and then the next day it’s like ‘So long. You’re dirt to me. Sod off.’ How does that make any sense?”

Liam didn’t respond, but Nathan could tell by the softness of his snips that he agreed somewhat with that assessment.

The ewe let out a bleat that Nathan felt vibrate in his hands.

“You’re doing great. He’s almost done. Don’t hurt her!”

“I’m not. She’s just being melodramatic.”

“It will be over soon,” Nathan cooed to her. He found himself rubbing her sides as if he were a parent, and it seemed to calm her down. “Trust me, I know your pain.”

“Oi?” Liam looked up.

“I crotch myself on a regular basis.”

Liam stopped mid-snip. “You do?”

“I like to keep things neat and tidy.”

“I don’t need to hear this.” Liam focused on shearing.

“You don’t trim down there?” Nathan asked.

Liam didn’t answer, but the tops of his ears turned red. It was a delightful sight, much better than the grumpy snipper.

“So you’re all natural then? Everything is in full bloom down under?”

“Down under is Australia.” More red.

“Or do you trim the mound but leave the balls and taint as the Lord intended?”

“You are at work, Nathan! This is not an appropriate conversation.”

“I think it’s very germane to the task at hand.”

“You are crude. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“On occasion.”

They moved onto the next ewe.

“Just breathe,” Nathan told her. “You may want to buy yourself some pants because you’ll be a bit more sensitive to the wind down there.”

“I’m going to throw you in the manure pit.” Liam tried to sound serious, but he was a shoddy dam holding in water.

“Right. You need to concentrate. I don’t want you accidentally chopping off this poor gal’s cervix.”