Page 70 of Outside Looking In

Nathan gulped back a lump in his throat. Even though they were outside, he felt some kind of walls closing in on him.

Pastor Fry took a step closer, so close he could’ve wrapped him in a warm, grandfatherly hug. He studied Nathan, soaking in as much data as he could.

“She used to make the same face you’re making,” he said. “It’s…I can’t believe it.”

Nathan thought he was going to collapse. Tears instantly came to his eyes.

“Grandfather,” he said.

Pastor Fry gave a tight nod, his body stiff with awkwardness.

Nathan wiped away his tears, but more just filled their place. The levies inside him were allowed to break open for the first time since he got here. He wrapped Pastor Fry in a hug, but noticed that it wasn’t reciprocated. Pastor Fry’s arms hung at their sides.

“Nathan, you can’t call me that.”

“I’ll call you whatever you like. Gramps, grandpa, papa.”

“No,” he said forcefully. He pulled away from Nathan’s hug.

“What? I don’t understand.”

“You have a family back in London. We are not it.”

“Yes, you are. Mariel is my mum. You said it—”

“Mark and his family have been through a lot.”

“So have I. I’ve spent my whole life being lied to and cast aside.”

“You are not supposed to be here. I don’t know how you found us, but you can’t stay.”

Nathan felt a cannonball tear through his chest. “You knew about me?”

“It’s complicated.”

“This whole time, you knew I was in London?”

“I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you at dinner. I thought I was dreaming, but I kept seeing my daughter in you.”

And yet you don’t want me to stay? Your own flesh and blood?Another family member kicking him to the curb.

“I know I wasn’t born under the most ideal circumstances, but Mark will understand. So will the kids. I have to tell them the truth.”

“You will do no such thing!” Pastor Fry’s eyes blazed defensively, a papa bear protecting his cubs. But Nathan wasn’t a predator. He was his cub, too. “It’s best that you pack up and leave immediately, before you hurt this fragile family.”

“Hurt?” Nathan’s shock and longing for a grandparent began turning to anger, crystallizing in his heart.

“I will pay for a flight back to London for you, and I can drive you to the airport.” He put a hand on Nathan’s arm.

“What? Now? Without saying goodbye?”

“Let’s go, Nathan.”

Nathan shrugged off his hand. “Get the fuck off me.”

This was not how he wanted to kick off his burgeoning grandparent-grandchild relationship, but his new grandfather seemed as awful as his existing one.

“Why are you doing this?” Nathan asked.