Page 36 of Our Moon (JACT #1)

I roll my eyes, which it actually hurts to do, and sigh.

“It’s not a big deal, probably from all the excitement and the wine,” I say.

Something I learned early on after the coma is that when you’re recovering from a brain injury and you mention the word “headache,” people have the tendency to freak out.

Even years later, as I’m learning. I had been hoping to keep this on the down low.

“You sure?” Trevor asks.

“Yes,” I assure him. “I’m just going to go to the restroom, splash some water on my face, and take some ibuprofen.” I stand from the table and Alex stands with me. “It’s okay, Alex. I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” I smile, and he sits back down, still looking slightly worried.

I make my way to the hallway that leads to the restrooms and once I’m around the corner, a sharp pain in my head brings me to my knees.

I close my eyes tight and bring my hands up to my temples, rubbing and trying to soothe the ache.

The pain is absolutely blinding, but just as soon as it started, it’s gone.

I lift my head up and look around, realizing where I am.

I’m on the floor in the hallway for the restrooms. I don’t even want to think about what could be on this floor, but I’m too stunned by what just happened to do anything about it and suddenly so exhausted.

I adjust myself so that I’m sitting, with my back leaning against the wall.

I pull my knees up to my chest, mindful to not flash anyone since I’m still in a skirt.

I rest my head on my knees and close my eyes.

I’m not sure how long I’m on the ground before I start hearing voices, then hands on my back and shoulders. “Ally!” It’s Alex. “Ally, are you okay? Dammit, I knew it wasn’t just a headache!”

I pick my head up quickly, making myself a little dizzy with the sudden motion. “I’m fine, Alex.”

“You’re not fine! You’re sitting on the dirty floor of a restaurant. Do you have any idea what might be on these floors?” I laugh since I had that same thought just a short while ago. He narrows his eyes at me, “It’s not funny.”

“It’s kind of funny,” I shrug.

“I can’t believe you’re being so nonchalant about this, Ally.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so serious about this, Alex,” I say, matching his tone.

He looks at me strangely. “Did you hit your head or something?”

I shake my head, “No. ”

“Come on,” he says standing up. “Everyone is wondering where you are. You were gone a while.”

“Why didn’t Mom come back to get me? Why’d she send you? What if I was in the bathroom? You can’t go in the ladies’ room, Alex.” Alex is staring at me as I stand up with a look on his face I can’t define. “What?”

“You just asked about Mom,” he says quietly.

“Yeah, so?” I ask, then I freeze and my eyes widen.

Mom’s dead. I know this. Then why do I feel like she’s here with us?

“I don’t know why I said that,” I tell him, my eyes filling with tears.

I suddenly feel so sad. It’s like I’m mourning my mother’s death for the very first time.

And Dad. Oh no, my daddy is dead, too. My eyes overflow, and the tears spill out, I move forward and fall into Alex’s arms.

“They’re gone,” I cry. Alex is frozen; he hasn’t even made a move to put his arms around me yet.

“What’s going on?” I hear Trevor ask from behind Alex.

“I don’t know,” Alex whispers. “She remembers Mom and Dad, I think.”

“Ally?” Trevor prompts .

I pull away from a still frozen Alex and look to Trevor, my lower lip quivering. “I want my mom and dad,” I say on a sob.

His eyes widen, and he steps around Alex and pulls me in his arms. “Shh, it’s okay, Ally,” he says soothingly. He rubs my back as I cry. “What do you remember, sweetheart?”

What do I remember? I wonder what he means for about half a second before the realization hits that I had lost my memory. The accident that killed my mom and dad took my memory from me as well.

What do I remember?

I remember that day, graduation and dinner here at Lombardi’s.

I remember my family, my brothers and my parents.

I remember high school and grade school.

I remember Lucy and Blake.

I remember the band.

I remember being in the car and seeing the headlights coming at us, too fast, too close.

I remember Chase.

I remember everything.

“I remember everything,” I tell him .

He steps back and looks at me. “Everything?” He looks past me to Alex as his eyes fill with tears. Alex steps around so he’s standing beside Trevor, his eyes full of emotion as well.

I nod, “Everything.” They both hug me, and I try to hug them back, as best I can considering this is an awkward three-way hug. We all eventually break apart and laugh.

“Maybe we should call Dr. Moody,” Trevor suggests.

“I’m sure it isn’t easy remembering everything all at once.

And about Mom and Dad. You should talk to her.

” I frown at the mention of my parents. I know Trevor is right, and I should probably talk to my shrink.

I don’t see her as regularly as I did, but I still go in once every two months and call as needed.

“You haven’t really had a chance to properly mourn. ”

“Later. Is that okay? Can we call her later? Tomorrow maybe? I feel okay right now, and I kind of just want to enjoy this moment and see everyone without her psychoanalyzing me.”

“First thing tomorrow morning, then.” Always serious, always in control, always Trevor.

“Is everything okay?” A voice asks from behind Trevor and Alex. I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

My brothers turn to face him, and as they do I catch a glimpse of him in between them and look into his sky blue eyes.

I see everything in them. Our first kiss in the rain.

Us lying under the stars looking up at our moon.

Sharing everything with each other. Secret moments, touches, kisses.

But most of all, love. I see love in his eyes, and he must see it in mine as well because he takes a cautious step towards me.

“Ally?” he asks tentatively. My brothers look between me and Chase, not knowing whether to intervene or let this play out. They probably wonder just how much I really do remember, and whether or not what Chase told us all was true that momentous day.

“Chase,” I whisper as I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. Then I smile, and he raises his eyebrows in either question or surprise, I’m not really sure. But I don’t care. Because I love him, and I know by the look in his eyes, that he still loves me.

Suddenly, I don’t care that he lied to me. His reasoning all makes sense. He loves me. I love him. There’s no question about it. He was scared. He wanted to protect me. Suddenly it’s all a no-brainer. Why had I ever doubted this man?

I don’t waste another minute and launch myself at him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. “God, I missed you baby girl,” he says, pulling me even closer to him, if that’s possible. It’s like he’s afraid he’ll lose me again if he lets go .

“I’m not going anywhere, ever again.” I assure him, holding on tighter.

After a moment he pulls back, looking into my eyes as if he’s trying to determine if this is all real. “You remember.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“I love you,” I tell him, and I watch as his eyes fill.

“I love you, too. So much. I never stopped.” He kisses me and pulls me back into him and I smile. This feeling is perfect. Being with Chase is like being home.

A throat clearing close by has us finally breaking apart, but Chase takes my hand and I smile down at where we’re joined. I look up at his face, and he’s smiling, too. Yes, this is perfect.

“I don’t mean to interrupt your little moment,” Alex says.

“But we’re still standing in the back hallway of a restaurant.

” I look over to him, expecting him to be annoyed at my behavior with Chase, but he’s smiling.

He and Trevor both are. He nods to the dining area of the restaurant, and we all make our way out.

“Oh, I need to go wash my face! I probably look a mess from all the crying,” I say, stopping my forward motion.

Chase looks at me. “You look beautiful. You always look beautiful. ”

I must have stars in my eyes and a big goofy grin on my face because Alex sighs and rolls his eyes. “This is going to be sooo much fun.” Chase and I laugh as he pulls me back to our table.

Trevor takes my seat by Lucy so I can sit down next to Chase.

“He’s right, you know,” Chase says quietly into my ear. His breath so close makes me shiver.

“About what?” I ask, knowing that Alex is rarely ever right about anything.

“This is going to be sooo much fun,” he smirks.

Looking into his eyes, I say, “It’s going to be everything.”

He smiles, leans in, and gives me a quick kiss. I lean into him, immediately wanting more, but draw back when a breadstick bounces off Chase’s head.

“That’s still my sister,” Alex says. I look at Chase, and we laugh. “Take it down a notch,” he warns, which earns laughs from the rest of the table. “What?”

“You,” Joey says, “acting like a big brother.”

“I am her big brother,” he argues.

“By like four minutes,” I huff .

“Still older,” he grumbles.

And so it goes, Alex and I participate in our usual banter as I field questions from the rest of the group about suddenly having my memory back. All the while, Chase is holding my hand under the table, giving me his silent strength as I share the more difficult parts about remembering my parents.

I don’t miss the irony of this all coming back to me at the last place my family was all together, and on another graduation night at that.

In fact, in later sessions with Dr. Moody, she shares that it was possibly the almost identical recurrence of events that triggered the memories to begin with – the graduation and the dinner.

I don’t really care how it happened, just that it did happen and that I can finally start living my life again.

Chase

Six months later.