Page 23 of Our Moon (JACT #1)

We made s’mores and tried to tell ghost stories, but we ended up getting in a marshmallow fight. Naturally, it stemmed from an Alex and Ally disagreement over the serial killer in Alex’s campfire tale.

Just after midnight, everyone starts heading to bed. Ally is the first to go, followed by Joey and Alex, then Trevor.

“You want me to put this out?” Trevor asks, gesturing to the fire.

“Nah, man. I’ll get it in a few.” He nods and heads into the cabin, closing the sliding door behind him.

I lean back in my Adirondack chair and look up at the sky, at the moon in particular. I can just see it between a break in the clouds. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter where you are at night, it’s always there. A constant .

“Whatcha doing out here all by yourself?” I jump at the sound of Ally’s voice. I hadn’t heard her open the door or walk up behind my chair.

She laughs. “Easy there, tiger. It’s just me,” she says as she walks around and takes a seat in the chair beside me.

“Sorry, didn’t hear you come out.” I turn to look at her face, but she’s looking in the fire. She’s even more beautiful in the glow of the firelight.

“Yeah, sure. You’re just freaked out by Alex’s super scary stories,” she grins.

“You totally caught me,” I laugh. “Thought you went to bed?”

She let out a puff of air, “I lied.”

I raise my eyebrow in question, but she doesn’t see it. She’s still looking at the orange glow of the flames. “Everything okay?”

She finally looks at me and smiles, “It is now.”

Now that she’s here with me? I wonder.

“We haven’t really had time to hang out together since we’ve been here,” she tells me. “Or even talk really. I mean, it wouldn’t exactly be inconspicuous if we sat there texting each other while in the same room.”

“So you snuck out to hang out with me?” I ask obtusely .

She looks to me and smiles shyly, then nods. “I know it probably sounds weird and crazy, but I’ve missed you this week. You’ve been here the whole time, but I’ve missed you.” She looks down and whispers the last part.

“It’s not weird or crazy,” I tell her.

“It’s not?”

“No,” I shake my head. “Because I’ve missed you, too.”

She looks up at me in surprise, and her smile widens. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I smile back.

“So you never did answer me,” she says. I think back but I don’t remember a question. She obviously sees the confusion on my face and adds, “What are you still doing out here?”

“Oh, nothing. Just looking at the moon.” God, that sounds so stupid.

She looks up to the moon and nods. “Isn’t it crazy how no matter where you are, it’s always there? You can always see it.”

My eyes shoot to hers, “That’s exactly what I was thinking about.”

“No way,” she laughs.

“Yeah, seriously. I’ve always had an appreciation for the moon,” I tell her. Something about Ally makes me want to tell her everything.

“Why’s that?” she asks.

“Growing up without my dad, and with my mom the way that she was, I never really had anything constant in my life. The moon was my constant. When my mom would have one of her parties, I’d always sneak out to the fire escape of the apartment and stare up at the moon.

It would always be there, you know? My dad wasn’t there.

My mom was there, but she wasn’t there for me.

So I guess I latched onto the one thing I knew would always be there. ”

I’m not sure why I shared all that with her. She’s quiet now and when I look over at her, it looks like she has tears in her eyes. “What is it, baby girl?”

She smiles at the name, “I’m just so sad for you, Chase. What you must have gone through. I can’t even imagine. It just makes me appreciate my parents that much more. I’m sorry if that sounds callous.”

“It’s not callous. I feel the same way. I mean how I appreciate your parents. I don’t know how much they know about my mom, but they know enough to treat me like one of their own kids without me having to say anything. They’re awesome people.”

“They are,” she agrees .

I lean back in my chair, looking up to the sky again.

“This is nice,” Ally says after a minute.

“What is?” I ask, thinking that this entire evening, hell, this entire week, has been a lot more than nice.

“This,” she says, using her hand to gesture between us. “Talking and all. I mean, we text all the time and now we’re sitting here and we can say whatever we want. So, what’s next?” she laughs, turning to me with a playful look. “The weather?”

“It was a nice day today,” I say with a straight face and she laughs. “So what do you want to talk about?” I ask her.

“I don’t know. Not the weather.”

“Your senior year is almost over,” I offer.

She sighs, “Yeah.”

“Are you not happy about that?”

“No, I am,” she says.

“Then what is it?”

“When we talk about school, it just reminds me of our age difference is all.”

That is a problem. Isn’t it? Yes, Chase, you’re four years older than her . The age difference is an issue .

“Nothing could ever happen,” she says quietly, sadly.

Part of me is jumping up and down at the fact that she would want something to happen between us. But the other part of me is just as upset as she is that we will never be able to explore whatever this is between us.

“It’s for the best,” I say, and I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or her.

“It’s just bullshit, though, isn’t it?” She stands up and begins to pace. “If we were ten years older, four years wouldn’t be an issue. It’s because I’m seventeen. It’s because I’m not even legal yet that it’s a problem.”

Actually, the legal age of consent in North Carolina is sixteen, but I’m not about to let her know that I know that. Or why I know that. No, I was not doing Internet research to see if I would get put in jail for flirting with her over texts. Not. At. All.

She went on. “It shouldn’t matter. Age shouldn’t matter. I mean, it doesn’t matter, does it? We all hang out all the time, and we’re all equals. No one pays attention to our age difference when we hang out together as a group.”

I stand up and block her path. Putting my hands on her shoulder, I say, “Ally, take a breath.”

“I really like you, Chase.” And I swear my heart skips a beat .

“I really like you, too, Ally.” She licks her lips, and my eyes dart down to them.

“It’s not fair,” she sniffs.

I look back up to her eyes, and they’re filled with tears. “Oh, baby girl, don’t cry.” I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her head.

“Chase, I know there are consequences…” she trails off.

“We’ll figure it out, Al,” I tell her. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, I’m just hoping to calm her down.

She pulls away from me and looks up with her tearstained face. Her beautiful, tearstained face. “What will we figure out?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”

“But you feel it, too?”

I sigh, then I nod. “Yeah, baby girl. I feel it, too.”

The corner of her mouth raises just a little, and she rests her head back against my chest. “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she says.

“Me neither. ”

“What are we going to do? I can’t ignore what I feel for you, Chase,” she says, desperately. “I can’t.”

“Okay, calm down, baby girl. We will figure something out.” I run my hand up and down her back in a soothing gesture.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“Don’t be. I can’t seem to resist you either.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby girl.”

She pulls back and looks up at me. She licks her lips again and looks at mine. Oh God, why is she looking at me like that? Why does she have to lick her lips? And why is she looking at mine? I’m trying to be a good guy here, but I’m still only human.

“Ally?”

“Chase?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to figure it out,” she says just before she lifts up on her toes and presses her lips against mine.

And I. Am. Gone.

I grab on to her shoulders and pull her body closer to mine.

She opens her mouth in a gasp, and I take it as an invitation.

Our tongues dance with one another, and I can’t get enough.

Neither can she. Her arms are around my neck now, pulling me down closer.

I can’t get any closer. She can’t get any closer.

If we could crawl inside each other at this moment, we would. I guarantee it.

A sudden crack of thunder finally breaks us apart. We’re standing, panting, about a foot from each other. Soaking wet.

When did it start raining?

Ally looks around at the wet deck and the smoke lifting from the extinguished fire. Then she looks back at me, smiles, and laughs. Like a full on body laugh.

“Not doing much for my ego here, Al,” I say, only slightly joking.

She straightens up and steps closer to me, removing the distance between us. Taking my face in her hands and looking into my eyes, she tells me, “Your ego has nothing to worry about, Chase Baker.” Then she kisses me. Again. And it’s amazing. Again.

By the time we finally go inside, we’re soaked to the bone.

Ally can’t stop giggling, obviously just as high as I am about what happened between us outside.

She’s holding my hand as we move through the cabin as quietly as we can.

It’s not working because our wet feet are making squish noises with each step, further encouraging the giggling .

I walk her to her bedroom door and give her a quick kiss goodnight before making my way to the second floor where the rest of the guys and I are staying.

I strip to my boxers in the bathroom and dry off as much as I can before sneaking into the room I’m sharing with Trevor.

Thank God, he’s still asleep. I don’t want to do any explaining tonight.

I lay in bed and listen to the rain. Tonight Ally and I crossed a line. A line we probably—no, definitely—shouldn’t have crossed. A line that could destroy everything we know. But there’s no way in hell I’m going back over to the other side.