Page 31

William

Five Months Later

The bells above the entrance chimed as I walked into The Daisy. Franky smiled over at me while removing his tool belt near the bar. “They’re in the back competing like children,” he said, shaking his head.

“As expected,” I chuckled, making my way to the art studio.

The Daisy was one of only a few places where Asher felt safe. After we’d frequented it enough times, he took Leland up on his offer to host the art brunch every first and last Sunday of the month. Somehow it always turned into them dividing the room and making the event a competition.

The bar was intimate, less overwhelming during the afternoon, which made it easier for him to give it a try. He’d made both Franky and Leland aware of his background, without going into too many details. They’d become protective of him because of it. That made things easier on me too, because I still lived in fear of something happening to him, or him being taken again.

I slipped through the studio door and watched quietly from the back.

“I’m winning this time,” Leland said, crossing his arms while one of the waitresses took on the role of judge. She scanned the finished pieces, checking to see which side did a better job—therefore deciding who did the better job instructing them.

“You never win,” Asher reminded him, laughing when Leland glared. The small crowd held their canvases up with pride, each side of the room good-naturedly trash talking the other.

Asher was crowned the winner, and Leland led the losing side in a chorus of boos. I clapped from my spot near the door, drawing Asher’s attention.

He hopped off the stage, weaving through the tables to get to me, throwing his arms around my neck. “I missed you,” he said, accepting my kiss.

“Get a room!” Leland shouted.

Asher shook with silent laughter. “Ignore him. He’s just a sore loser.”

“How was your session with Dr. Shwartz this morning?” Today was a big day. We had two important stops to make before heading to my mother’s house for dinner. I’d spoken to my therapist about it, which helped with some of my anxiety. Asher was supposed to do the same.

“It went okay, I guess. She encouraged my decision, but I’m not sure how much it helped. I still feel unsure about it.”

I knew from our joint sessions that it could be hard to break through to Asher immediately. Sometimes rationality didn’t kick in for him until much later. He was like that outside of therapy too.

“You’ll be fine. And I’ll be right there with you.” We stepped out of the way so the patrons could exit the studio. Asher said bye to them all as they passed.

“What about you? What did Dr. Stein think?”

“She thinks it’s long overdue, and so do I.”

“So why are your shoulders so tense?”

“I didn’t say it would be easy, or that I’m not nervous. Just that it’s overdue.” I dropped my forehead to his.

“You know I’ll be in a bad mood later,” he warned.

“I know.” I sank my hands into his hair. Pushing himself past a limit always resulted in a bad mood, with him dwelling on the past and how it affected his present life. Dealing with his anger came with the territory of loving him, just like dealing with my guilt came with loving me. We were a work in progress.

“So I’m saying sorry in advance.”

“You don’t have to say sorry at all, Asher. Are you done here?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Just let me grab my backpack from Leland’s office.”

“Okay. I’m double-parked, so meet me in the car.” I held onto his fingers when he backed away, only letting go when he smiled at me. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” He turned, disappearing through a side door.

Leland and Franky were locked in a heated kiss at the bar, so I headed straight outside. Asher joined me a few minutes later. We linked hands across the center console before I pulled off. We didn’t speak during the drive into Brooklyn, but we squeezed each other’s hand when our thoughts allowed us a moment’s peace.

“We’re here,” I whispered, stating the obvious. We’d already been sitting in front of the park I was abducted from for a while. Asher hadn’t rushed me either. He’d just stared at the entrance right along with me. Getting out of the car, he came around and took my hand again.

It wasn’t an urban park, but when compared to the size of other neighborhood parks, this one was on a much grander scale. There were several entrances, and plenty of areas where one could go unseen. Areas perfect for kidnapping.

“This is where I saw her.” I pointed to the bench the woman responsible for my disappearance had sat on. It was close to the entryway we’d parked at. It had been simple to make a grab-and- run. “They never found her,” I murmured. I wondered where she was now. I looked around as if maybe she was here with us, strolling the grounds for her next victim.

I hadn’t stepped foot in a park since that day, and walking around now with Asher felt both light and heavy. Like reliving the pain while also shedding it. Asher remained a supportive presence at my side.

Kids played without a care in the world while their parents kept an eye on their surroundings. I’d once been innocent like them, believing a stranger taking interest in my pursuits was a good thing. Now I had more in common with the adults who knew the horrors that lurked nearby. Hopefully their children wouldn’t have to learn their hard lessons by living them like I did.

“How do you feel?” Asher asked once we’d exited park.

I inhaled the cool spring breeze, exhaling while I considered his question. “I feel free.” I leaned back against the passenger side door, pulling him with me and wrapping my arms around his waist. “I mean, I’m not suddenly ready to run the Central Park Marathon, but they can’t hurt me anymore.” I shrugged. “They didn’t win.”

“That’s right,” Asher said, rubbing a thumb over my cheek. “And anyone who wants to hurt you now has to go through me first.”

I gripped his ass, pressing his lower body into mine and stole a kiss. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

I lifted my gaze to the gray clouds rolling in. “Like storm clouds on a rainy day,” I said, reminding him of what his mother used to tell him.

“I wish I could remember that.”

“Who knows. Maybe you will once we get there.” I opened his door, shutting it once he settled inside.

We arrived at the cemetery, following the instructions given to Isabella’s gravesite. His grandmother was buried beside her, but while Asher remembered a few things about his mother, he had no recollection of his nonna. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have even known he called her that.

We’d stopped to buy flowers, and I knelt at their graves with him, helping to lay them below their tombstones. The clouds parted then, sunshine returning.

“They know we’re here,” he said before turning his smile to the warm rays of the sun. “It feels like I should’ve been here sooner.”

“It happened right on time.” I reminded him of something we learned in one of our sessions. Breakthroughs didn’t happen late, they happened when they were supposed to.

We spent the next hour chatting with the two people he once loved most. I filled them in on all the hard work he’d been doing to obtain his high school equivalency diploma, and he told them about my plans to bring Gargantuan to the big screen.

“I’ve been learning to play your violin. William named her after you.” His voice thickened with emotion. “You’d love him. You too Nonna. He takes good care of me.” He kept his gaze on me, and my heart swelled until I thought it might burst from all the love it contained.

“I love your son.” I smoothed my fingers over his mother’s engraved name. “And your grandson.” I reached over for his nonna’s tombstone next.

“And I love him more,” Asher said predictably. I rolled my eyes, and he laid his head on my shoulder.

The sun dipped behind the clouds again, the wind stirring up the fallen leaves. “I think they’re telling us it’s okay to go,” he said, laughing through his sadness. It began to drizzle, picking up speed as we dashed hand in hand to the car. We were out of breath from all the running and laughter by the time we shut ourselves in. The skies opened up then, pouring down around us.

I leaned over to kiss all the parts of his face that I loved—which meant every inch of it. “Do you want to head home? My mother will understand.”

“No.” Asher stared pensively into the rain. “I need…” A mother right now , he didn’t say.

“Okay, let’s go. She’ll be happy to see you.”

We pulled up to my mother’s Brooklyn Heights home thirty minutes later. It may not have been nestled in the neighborhood she’d envisioned before I was taken, but her dreams of owning a brownstone had come true.

“My babies are here!” She was already holding the door open, allowing us to run in from the rain. She must have been watching for us through the window.

“Momma,” I said, coming in for a hug, but she nudged me out of the way to get to Asher.

“Is today a good day for a hug?” she asked him, because being touched by anyone but me was still a problem sometimes. Asher embraced her instead of answering. They rocked from side to side as she mothered him, rubbing soothing circles along his back.

“Gee, I remember when I was the favorite,” I muttered dryly.

“I remember when I was the second favorite,” Davidson said, stepping in beside me. He looked at my mother like she walked-on-water. It’d taken a couple months to get used to the idea of them dating. Mostly because I’d been the only man in her life since my grandfather died. Apparently, she and Davidson grew closer after the Freedom Fighters charity gala last year.

We moved out of earshot. “How’s it going between you two? Without any intimate details,” I tossed in. I knew things were rough at the beginning. Neither of them had been in a serious relationship for some time, and Davidson was the protective, provider type. Neither of which appealed to my fiercely independent mother. She wanted love and companionship. She wanted someone who treated her as an equal, not a delicate thing to be kept on a shelf away from harm.

“She puts me in my place when needed. I just want to take care of her, but I’m learning the best way to do that is by standing by her side, not in front of her. No more gilded cages.” He winked. That was how his marriage ended, and he’d cautioned me against losing Asher the same way.

“Yeah, no more gilded cages,” I agreed. “Anything new?” Asher had told Davidson everything after the Christmas holiday, which led to the FBI busting a trafficking ring with ties to Asia. The men and women taken into custody were underlings, but a few of them turned state’s evidence, leading the bureau to someone a little higher up on the food chain. Aisling Murphy—the man I once knew as Declan.

“Murphy’s being extradited here as we speak.” He’d been living out his retirement in Ireland.

“And everyone else who hurt Asher? The man who brought him here?”

“We’re working with our partner agencies abroad on all that, but everything’s classified right now. Don’t worry.” He rested a hand on my shoulder when I sighed. “We’re going to get these fuckers, and all the sick, powerful people protecting them.” Sick people who couldn’t afford to be exposed. People who ran the risk of losing their political positions by having their affiliation to the trafficking underworld revealed.

I thought about the lady from the park, the one responsible for me and Asher’s abduction.

“Don’t worry about her either,” Davidson said, reading my mind. “We’ll drag her from whatever hole she’s hiding in.” The FBI had received new information on her too, but she’d since gone underground. I nodded, putting it all to the back of my mind for now.

My mother patted my cheeks and gave Davidson a peck on the lips once she was done with Asher, then we all headed for the kitchen. She helped Asher tie his apron while I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Davidson snagged a beer before leaving us to go watch Sunday football.

“Okay now,” my mother started when I swooped between them to kiss Asher on the cheek. “You get started on the potatoes while I season the chicken tenders. Be sure to—”

Her words were cut off when, after grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter, I swooped back in to kiss Asher on his nose. I jumped out of the way of her swatting hand. Asher grinned like a lunatic.

“Like I was saying, be sure to cut the fries nice and thin. We want them cris—”

I squeezed between them again, reaching for the knife block and kissing him on the corner of his lips. “Okay I’m done.” I moved out of reach to dice my apple on the other side of the kitchen.

“We want them crispy,” she finished. I settled onto the island as they talked and worked, but now I realized I needed a plate. I set my apple and knife down before sneaking over to the cabinet to the right of Asher. My mother was too busy showing him the perfect squash she found at the farmers market to notice me there. I quietly pulled a plate out, then kissed Asher on the other cheek.

I held my plate up when my mother shook her head at me, trying her best not to smile. “I needed a plate.”

“Can’t you eat an apple like normal people do?”

“But then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” I slid my free hand around his nape, and he turned my way for a more meaningful kiss.

“Boy, get off him, he can’t breathe.” She laughed, but I did this partly because she enjoyed seeing us happy and together after all we’d been through. She moved around the kitchen collecting pots and pans while I gazed down at him. His cheeks were pink, his eyes glassy. I knew if I felt behind his apron I’d find him hard.

“Show some respect,” I whispered playfully, then to my mother I said, “I can’t help it.” I brushed my mouth across his smile. “I love him too much.”

“But don’t forget I loved you too much first,” he quipped.

I groaned. “Hurry up with the food, Momma. I think hunger has made him delusional.”

“Have I said how adorable you two are?”

“All the time,” I told her.

She walked over with a pile of ingredients in her hands. “Okay, while we’re getting the chicken tenders and fries ready, you mix the batter for the double chocolate fudge cake. That oughtta keep you busy.” She set everything on the island, then pulled the recipe from her apron pocket. I got to work, me and Asher stealing glances at each other.

We ate and joked around the dining room table, but decided it was time to leave once my mother and Davidson put the record player on and began slow dancing as if we weren’t there.

After all the stolen glances and kisses Asher and I shared, there was an unspoken rush to get home anyway.

A tangible wave of lust filled the car, but a dark cloud hovered over the interior as well. I turned to Asher at a red light, taking in his folded arms as he stared out his window. I understood his need to descend into his thoughts. We’d had an eventful day, and with all the distractions now out of the way, it was time to process it all.

I pulled into our building’s parking garage less than an hour later. Asher exited the car first, and I took a deep breath before trailing behind him to the elevator.

“You’re in a bad mood,” I said as we stepped on. We moved to opposite sides of the cabin, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him.

“No. I’ve just been thinking. No more bad moods for the wrong reasons. What we did today deserves a celebration.”

“Oh? What kind of celebration did you have in mind?” Nothing made me weaker than Asher dressed in all black, and when he reached up to let his hair loose I wanted to fall to my knees. The strands were longer now, the curls more out of control. A corner of his mouth lifted in approval when my cock pitched a tent behind my zipper.

“The kind that starts and ends with you fucking me.” He was more brazen now. He didn’t shy away from waking me at all hours of the night for a quick fuck, or sometimes a long, drawn out one. He made no apologies for demanding sex often. I wouldn’t have accepted those apologies anyway, because I wanted him just as often and as feverishly as he wanted me. His body was my safe place, my home, my place of reverence. Mine to protect . It went both ways, because my cock was his to do with as he pleased.

“Do you want to talk about today first?” I tried not to let my arousal overrule my number one need—to make sure he was alright.

“No, I don’t. When we get inside, I want you to fuck me and not be nice about it. Then we can talk, and then you can make love to me. Okay?”

“Okay,” I breathed.

Asher started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t,” I said, with an edge to my tone. “I plan on ripping it off of you.”

He swallowed, nodding before stepping off the elevator.

“Head to the dining room,” I said once we entered the apartment. “I’ll be fucking you over the table.”

I grabbed the lube from my bedroom, pulling my cock through my zipper and slicking myself up as I prowled to the dining room. Asher waited by the window, turning at the wet sound of my hand stroking my dick. I stuck the bottle in my back pocket, freeing my hands to do what I promised I would.

Without a word, I approached him, gaining satisfaction from the widening of his eyes. My ego would never grow tired of how my cock affected him, never get enough of the tight fit whenever I slid inside of him. My dick tapped my stomach as my long strides ate up the distance separating us.

“Malcolm,” he breathed as I tore his shirt open. He unconsciously called me that sometimes, in moments when he wasn’t thinking, only feeling. The name no longer bothered me the way it used to. I was even okay with my mother’s occasional lapses now too. It felt like a little piece of me carved out just for them.

Yanking the sleeves off his arms, I grabbed him by the waist to hold him steady. “How many inches do you want tonight?” I ripped open the button at his fly, crouching to roughly remove the skin tight jeans. He wore nothing else underneath.

“How many?” I growled, his erection nearly slapping me in the face when I rose to grab a fistful of his hair. I stroked him from root to tip while he tried to formulate words.

“All of it,” he panted, blushing a brilliant shade of red.

“You think you can handle all of it tonight?” I whispered, biting down on his cheek. “Or are you in the mood to hurt for it?” Talking like this didn’t trigger him. He was clear on my intentions, clear about who I was, and who we were to each other.

“T-two fingers.” He moaned, his nails digging into my forearm. “N-no more than two fingers.” It typically took at least four to get him ready. He wanted a tight squeeze. He wanted to choke on his pleasure as I entered him.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful.” I slammed my mouth against his, prying his lips apart with my tongue as I backed him into the table. “Face down,” I bit out, turning him before shoving him down. His palms slapped against the surface, his hair falling over his face.

Pouring lube into both hands, I reached around for his cock while slipping my other hand through his cleft. “You’re so hot, Asher.”

“Hurry,” he gritted out.

Regardless of what he asked for, I’d never hurt him, so I took my time working one finger in, and then two. His palms slid over the wooden tabletop, and his moans came from somewhere deep inside. I could feel the vibrations against my fingers pumping in and out of his opening.

“I-I’m gonna c-come,” he panted, as I jerked his cock while filling his hole with my digits.

“Good, because this is gonna be hard and fast. Don’t be surprised if I come as soon as I shove into you.”

I kicked his ankles apart. “Are you ready for my cock?”

“Y-yes. Give it to me.”

We were both shaking by the time the first half made it in. I breathed, counting to three before giving him a little more. My orgasm was well on its way by the time I was fully seated, and the way he cried my name said his climax was barreling down too.

His ass was so tight I could hardly move, it felt as though we were glued together. I leaned over his back, bracing one hand on the table, the other still fist-fucking his cock. I pumped my hips in quick, short jabs until he loosened around me.

“Fuck, William,” he groaned, resting his forehead on the table. “Your dick is… everywhere .” He sometimes said that was how it felt to be fucked by me. Like I’d taken over every corner of his body. The feeling was mutual, because he owned every part of me.

I picked up the pace, fucking into him, his whimpers cranking up my need for him. I should’ve taken off my clothes, because it felt like I was being burned alive from the heat of him. I dragged my cock out to the tip, then rocketed my hips forward, causing the table legs to scrape along the floor. Asher went rigid beneath me, his cock pulsing in my hand, his cum hitting the floor.

“No!” he said when I slowed, unsure if continuing after he’d orgasmed would hurt him. “K-keep going. Finish inside of me.” He bucked into me, fucking me as he finished spilling in my hand.

Biting down on his shoulder, I closed my eyes, fucking him until I came seconds later.

I stayed inside of him until my cock softened and slid out, my cum spilling from his hole, coating his inner thighs. After catching my breath, I straightened, helping him up. Moving his sweaty hair out of his face, I checked to make sure he was okay. Checked to make sure we were okay.

“I’m okay,” he breathed. “ We’re okay.”

I lifted him by the hips, setting him on the table and pushing between his legs.

“Now will you talk to me?” Now that the fog of lust had cleared, I needed to know what was on his mind.

Asher slid his arms around my neck, staring up at me with big, sad eyes. “Today reminded me of how alone I am in this world without you. I have no family, no friends.”

We’d done some digging around and learned that his mother and grandmother came here from Italy not too long before he was born. I’d hoped to uncover some long-lost family members, but it seemed they came here alone. Isabella had dreams of becoming a famous, American musician.

“You’ll find friends,” I promised. “You’re already loved by Franky and Leland. And there’s my mother and Davidson. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’ll eventually meet so many people you have things in common with, you might forget all about me.”

“Not a chance.” One corner of his mouth kicked up before he grew serious again. “I’m still that boy who needs you. The boy who sees forever in your eyes. The boy begging on hands and knees for you not to go. I need you. All the therapy in the world won’t fix that.”

I understood what he meant, because I’d always be the boy who abandoned him. The boy who’d never get over leaving him. I’d accepted that no matter how old we got, our bones would forever be small. No matter how much we healed our wounds, those little boys would remain.

“The pain is less now,” he said, “but the past still isn’t painless.”

Our love was dark and intense sometimes because of the lingering pain, but there was light to be found too. We were men on a mission to be whole, and that journey wasn’t an easy one. Some days we fucked with the past on our minds, anger and betrayal seeping through every roll of our hips, every violent kiss. And sometimes we made love to the sound of our tears and words of forgiveness. Regardless of how we came to each other, the undercurrent was always love, always a need to understand and let go. We’d be letting go and attempting to understand each other for the rest of our lives. No matter what, we’d stay devoted. That was our vow to each other.

“Life will never be pain free, but I’m going to love you anyway, Asher.”

“And I’m gonna love you more.” His response filled my heart, my soul, and the room with laughter the way it always did.

“I can’t wait to see you try.” There was nothing I wanted more than I wanted him. Nothing I yearned for more than I yearned for us. Together we would weather any storm, climb any hill or mountain life put in our path. Asher was my person, and I was his.

I pulled him to the edge of the table, and he wrapped his legs around me. I sank into him slowly, the lovemaking portion of our night beginning. I lowered my mouth to the tattoo scrawled beneath his collarbone, and he kissed my matching one in return.

Asher whispered the four words we would now live and die by in his mother’s native language, his Italian getting better and better each day.

I whispered the English translation into his ear as we molded our hearts together, as we promised to love each other for eternity, as we became one. I then repeated it in my head until it felt engraved there, until it became a promise I’d never forget or break again.

Malcolm and Asher forever… Malcolm and Asher forever… Malcolm and Asher forever.

The End