Page 30

Asher

I waited in the living room like William asked me to, biting down on my thumb nail and staring out into the snow. The night started with me thinking this would be the last time we saw each other, but now it would end with us making love. My heart wanted it, but I was scared my mind would get in the way. Flashes of the past played out in my head. The rush the men were always in. The way they treated my body. The pain. The blood.

A hand squeezed my shoulder, and I jumped, turning to find William watching me with soft green eyes. “Don’t say we don’t have to do this,” I warned. It still felt strange to speak. My voice sounded weird to me and all the crying made the burning in my throat worse.

“I won’t.” He placed his hands on my cheeks. His palms were wide, his fingers long, and his body large. It made his touch feel like a shield around me, keeping me safe.

“I’m scared, but it doesn’t mean I’m not ready.”

“I trust you, Asher.”

I didn’t know what he meant by that at first, but I’d come a long way from that night in the hospital. He trusted me to know what I wanted.

William pressed his soft, full lips against mine, his tongue entering my mouth slowly. His hands slid down my neck and shoulders to my chest. My body heated in places that used to go cold when anyone touched me.

I fought against the shame creeping in, and the voice in my head saying what happened to me was my fault. Telling me he’s just like the others. I wanted so many things. To cry, to scream, to hold him close, to push him away. Would it always be so hard?

The first time I’d let William touch me was hard, and I took a long hot shower afterward, scrubbing my skin because I couldn’t scrub away the painful things in my head. Being the one to touch him first helped, because I’d had time to prepare my mind for it.

Now he kissed and touched me—within reason—whenever he wanted to. I loved it, but sometimes it took me back to those dark rooms and chains, times when I couldn’t fight back.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.” He made it sound like he held a gift in his hands instead of a broken man. “After everything…” He shook his head. “I’m just in awe of you.” William’s voice was deep and rumbly, but gentle and patient too. It made me excited, nervous, and impatient.

“What now?” My lips still tingled from his kiss. I knew what came next in the past, or rather, what came first, because the others never kissed me. This wouldn’t be like that, though. William would take care of me.

He chuckled. “I love it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

He shrugged. “Say exactly what’s on your mind. You’re the same over text, or when you’re in the mood to kiss me. You don’t ever try to play it cool.”

I never thought about it like that, but now I wondered if it was something I did wrong. He said he loved it, so I decided to believe him.

My hands began to shake a little, and the warmth I’d felt a second ago started to melt away.

“Look at me,” he said, tracing my ear. “Please.”

Swallowing, I lifted my head.

“What are you thinking?”

“Do you think I’m dirty?”

“I would never think that. Never. I think you’re beautiful and brave.” He held my head firm when I tried to lower it again. “Think about where you were, and take a look at where you are now. You’re strong, that’s what you are. You’re the strongest person I know, Asher.”

“Thank you.” I pushed past the lump in my throat.

“Tell me what you need from me. You set the pace tonight.”

I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what I wanted, because no one had ever cared about my needs before. For as long as I could remember, I’d been owned. With William, I now got to choose. “Slow,” I whispered. “No one’s ever taken their time before.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the memories this time, blocking out images of bruises covering my body.

William leaned in, taking his time kissing both of my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my forehead, and then my lips. Time stood still as he breathed me in, stroking my jaw before pulling back. I sighed, my eyelids fluttering open. “This time will be different,” he promised.

“Do you need a minute to yourself first?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Okay. Meet me back here when you’re ready.”

I closed myself inside my bedroom, then headed for the closet mirror. I tried to see what William saw when he looked at me. Tried to see past the basic things I still needed to learn, like how to date without turning the night into a mess of anxiety and insecurity. Or how to talk to people, because even though I’d found my voice for William, I wasn’t sure if I could share it with the rest of the world. There was safety in my silence, a part of me protected from harm.

I hurried to take a quick shower. My second one for the day, but maybe the warm water would help the nervous chill leave my body. I tied my hair up to keep it from getting wet. I’d straightened it again for William.

A few minutes later I stood in the closet again, wondering if getting dressed was pointless, but I did it anyway. Because maybe William would want to do something romantic like take off my clothes. That’s how it was in His Eternal Love. And maybe I wanted romance for a change.

William was pacing the end of the hall, and turned at the sound of my footsteps. I smiled, liking the way his eyes sparkled whenever I did.

“Were you waiting for me?”

“Yes,” he confessed, coming in to poke my dimples. “I was.”

I hated being shy around him. I wanted to seem confident, mature. But it was because he seemed so amazed by me, even though I didn’t find anything about myself amazing at all.

“Take a shower with me.”

“Oh, I, uh, already showered.” Was this a rule I didn’t know about? Were we supposed to shower together before sex?

“This isn’t to get you clean, it’s to make you feel treasured.”

“I… I don’t know what that means.” I felt stupid.

“Come, let me show you.” He linked our hands, his gaze soft, not holding me responsible for what I didn’t know yet.

William’s shower was twice the size of mine, and I waited nervously as he turned the shower heads on at both ends. His sleeves and bare feet were wet by the time he turned back to me. “Guess I should’ve taken my clothes off first.”

“Let me.” I stopped him before he could unbuckle his belt. He dropped his hands to his sides, his smile encouraging.

I knelt, keeping my eyes on his as I removed his belt, then dragged his pants down his legs so he could step out of them. His cock was hard in his underwear, the length of it unreal. I licked my lips.

William groaned, gripping my hair. The band I’d used to keep it up snapped, sending strands tumbling past my shoulders. “I wish you could see how you look.”

“Tell me.” My heart pounded. I spread my knees wider on the bath rug, my own cock growing hard. I breathed through the urge to feel ashamed. It never quite went away. “Tell me how I look.”

“Hungry. Desperate.”

“I am,” I whispered, tugging down his underwear. His dick sprung free, and I leaned back on my heels, leaving him room to kick out of them.

“I won’t hurt you, Asher.”

“I know.” My mouth went dry as my gaze wandered over him, taking in his muscles and tanned skin. I’d seen him naked before, but I didn’t think I’d ever get used to it.

I pushed up onto my knees again and cupped his sack, looking up to be sure what I did felt good to him. His mouth parted, and with more confidence I swirled a finger over his wet tip. William trembled, and I thought I could get used to making him feel this way. I placed a kiss on his shaft, then nuzzled my cheek against its warmth.

“Fuck, Asher,” he grunted.

My gaze fell to his scars, and I looked up at him, making sure it was okay before I kissed them too. His eyes filled with pain, and he brushed the back of his hand down my cheek.

He helped me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me. I lifted my arms so he could remove my t-shirt. My hair fell over my face, the strands curling from the steam. William combed it back with his fingers.

“I tried to keep it straight for you.”

“You could be bald and you’d still be handsome, Asher.” William had never seen me naked, and I was scared that when he did, once he saw what I’d been used for, he wouldn’t want me. But his words made me feel brave, more confident in my own skin, so I let go of the waistband of my sweats, allowing him to untie the drawstring.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

It was William’s turn to drop to his knees, his hands touching every inch of exposed skin as he dragged the sweatpants down. I shivered, waiting for his reaction.

“Just as beautiful as the rest of you.” His fingers trailed up and down my legs, his warm breath blowing against my hard cock. I grabbed onto his shoulders for support as his words hit my heart, soothing the ache there. “How did I get so lucky?” His words were full of worship. I blinked away the tears blocking my view of him.

“Can I kiss it?” His eyes dropped to my cock before returning to me.

“Please,” I whispered, nodding.

He wrapped a hand around me, then kissed the tip of my cock.

“More,” I breathed when he pulled away. He leaned back in, his dark chuckle traveling all the way to my balls. I felt my face grow hot, which only amused him more.

“Can I put it in my mouth? Just a little bit?”

I felt lightheaded from the sound of his voice, by how much it turned me on. “O-okay.”

I touched myself a lot these days, but nothing compared to him taking me halfway into his mouth. He applied a little suction, moving up and down as his tongue alternated between stroking the vein on the underside and circling over the head. I arched, fingers digging harder into his skin. I tried to back away, but he held me to him with a palm on my ass cheek. I trembled as lights exploded behind my eyes right before I came.

“I’m s-sorry.” My brain felt fuzzy, making it hard to speak. “I didn’t mean to… that fast.”

“It’s okay.” He stood, bringing my gaze back to him. “I’ll have you ready again in no time.” He licked cum from the corner of his mouth. “You taste delicious, by the way.”

In a daze, I slid my palm to the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. His mouth tasted salty, the texture creamy. I kept my mouth parted when he pulled away. I wanted more.

William grinned, bringing his fingers to my mouth. I licked up the drops of cum there.

He turned for the shower door, giving me the perfect view of his tattoo. It was the first time I could look at it without having to hide how much it meant to me.

“Wait,” I said, catching him before he stepped in. I smoothed my fingers over the trees, the wildflowers, and finally the bones. “Seeing this made me angrier with you, but only because it was harder to be mean to you after. I didn’t want to forgive you, or feel your pain, but you made it impossible not to.”

“So you did watch me that night.” He said almost to himself, looking over his shoulder.

“Yes.” My skin heated thinking back to the night I watched him jerk off in his bathroom. I’d only seen the lower half. His shirt covered most of it, but it was enough.

“How did seeing me fuck my fist make you feel, Asher?”

I thought back to that moment outside his door, hearing him groan as he came over the sink.

“Confused.”

“Why?”

“I’d never felt turned on before. Never felt anything close to that.” Up to that point, I’d always fought against anything that felt even a little good. I’d felt something other than shame that night—or something else in addition to the shame. I kissed his shoulder, spreading my hand over his plea to Gargantuan.

“We were just Small Bones back then.” His voice sounded scratchy, like mine. “Sometimes I think we still are.”

I nodded, but he couldn’t see me. “You once asked me who you were to me. Do you remember?”

“Yes,” he breathed as I kissed a path from one shoulder to the next.

“What is this?” he’d whispered. “This thing between us. Who am I to you?”

I pulled him around, finding hope and love in his eyes, hoping he found the same in mine. “You’re everything to me, William. You always have been.”

William led me into the shower and showed me what he meant by “treasured.” He started with my hair, tilting my head back to massage the shampoo in, my curls springing back to life. I moaned while he took his time soaping up my body, fingers pressing into my tense muscles as he skipped over my cock to work his way down to my toes. Water hit us from left and right, steam surrounding us.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered, his fingers stroking across my hips to my dick. “Block everything else out. It’s just us here.” His words helped with the panic setting in.

I felt for the wall behind me, leaning back and breathing steadily until the past faded away and only the present remained.

“That’s it,” William praised from down on his knees. “How does this feel?” He circled my rim with a soapy finger. I searched for the right words to say.

“Like I’m at the beginning of something.”

“Your adrenaline is slightly elevated. And now?” he asked, stroking my cock. My stomach muscles clenched, my fingers scraping along the tile at my back.

“Like… like I’m speeding, like I’m about to crash.” My breaths started coming faster.

“That’s the dopamine rush,” he said. “And now?” His hand still moved up and down, but his thumb swiped over my rim and my tip now too. My legs shook.

“I’m gonna co—”

William stopped, and I sucked in a breath, my eyes snapping open.

“Not yet. I want to be inside you when the oxytocin kicks in,” he whispered. “Turn around.”

I complied, feeling hot and unsteady, hungrier and more desperate than I had before.

“Is it okay if I touch you here?” He squeezed my clenched ass cheeks, but I knew he meant the place in between them.

“Yes.” I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against the wall and trying to relax. William spread me open and paused. I couldn’t see his face, couldn’t hear him move or breathe, but I winced when his hands tightened on me. He made a wounded sound then, bringing back the sting in my eyes.

“It’s not your fault.” My voice sounded thin, weak. “It’s not either of our faults.” The reminder was for the both of us.

William’s breathing picked up speed, blowing across my wet skin. My blood rushed to my ears, the pounding of my heart making it difficult to think. I forced myself to stay in this moment, to focus on William’s hands on me. I wasn’t sure of what to say, but then I thought back on something he once said to me.

“Don’t let them win, William. Please . Don’t let them win.”

I relaxed when his hold on me loosened, but I tensed up again when his tongue flattened over the scar tissue, followed by his lips pressing against it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be fucked, but most of all I wanted to thank him for making me feel wanted, even with my scars.

He continued to lick and kiss me, pushing his tongue in and sending me up onto my toes with a shout that scraped against my raw throat. I backed into his mouth, grinding, my body moving on its own.

William stood in a sudden movement, spinning me to face him and kissing me hard and deep. “I need to be inside you.” He cut the water off and led us out of the shower, drying us off before linking his fingers through mine. He walked us to the living room, where the coffee table had been moved, and the couch shoved away so his mattress could take their place. I hadn’t even noticed it was missing from his bed frame.

“When did you do this?” The flowers were now in the living room too, their vases positioned along the floor.

“While you were in your room getting ready.” He relit a couple of candles, then stood there watching me while I stared at him.

“You’re sexy,” I blurted out, wanting to give just as much as I got from him.

“Oh, yeah?” His voice sounded low and warm, his grin doing things to my insides. “What about me do you find sexy?” He grabbed hold of his cock, stroking slowly as he licked the pad of one finger before rubbing it over one of his dark nipples. He was good at this.

“Your body, for sure.” I followed his lead, gripping my hard cock. William’s eyes lit up, his gaze eating up my every move. “Your soft skin, your wide shoulders, your strong thighs, and… the size of your dick.” We both picked up our pace, but I didn’t have the same self-control William did, so I slowed down when my spine began to tingle. “None of that would matter though, if your mind and your heart weren’t sexy too. They’re the first things I see when I look at you.”

He held himself at the base of his cock, bringing his breathing under control. “Get on the mattress, Asher.”

I nodded, a sheen of sweat blooming on my skin as I settled onto my back. William prowled over to me, his long cock tapping against his stomach muscles. He crawled on top of me, his forearms planted on either side of my head, caging me in. I tensed up for a second, and William pulled away. “No, it’s okay.” I held him there by his waist. “I want you like this.”

“If something doesn’t feel good, you tell me,” he whispered. “If you want to stop, we stop.”

“Okay.” I lifted my head to kiss him as he reached for a foil packet and bottle of lube I hadn’t noticed.

“Just you and me. If y-you want that.” I looked at the condom then back to William, second guessing my decision for a split second until I met his eyes. This is William. I’m safe. We’re safe. Removing the doubt from my voice, I asked, “Do you want to?”

“More than anything,” William sighed, setting it aside. We kissed until we were breathless, and I was ready for him to do anything and everything to me.

“Hold your legs open for me.” He sat up, spreading lube over my hole and both our cocks before coating his fingers with it. He settled between my legs again, holding himself up on one arm while circling a finger at my opening.

“Stroke your cock for me. Not too much pressure. I want you aroused, I want you to open up, but I want my cock to be the reason you come. Understand?”

I nodded, letting go of the sheet to reach for my dick.

“That’s it,” he praised, lowering his lips to mine as he pushed the tip of a finger in. I groaned, using my heels to push myself back. “Relax, Asher. Breath.” With his other hand, he gripped my hair, his fingers tugging until I felt the pull on my scalp. The sting took my mind off the fear and discomfort of him pushing into me. I refocused, keeping my eyes on his as I used both hands to hold our cocks together and lightly stroke them.

It took a while, and a lot more lube before three digits moved in and out of me with ease. Sweat covered our bodies, precum covered my hands.

William removed his fingers to line the tip of his cock up with my hole. I bunched the sheets in my fists again.

“Stay with me, Asher.”

“Always,” I breathed. I’d been about to close the door in my mind on all that happened to me in the past, but instead I chose to leave it open. I let it all in. I knew that after this, none of it would matter anymore. This would be my first time. This would be the only time that counted.

William sank into me slowly, air hissing from between his clenched teeth. I felt so stretched when he bottomed out. I didn’t know where his body began and mine ended. We were one in that moment. I wrapped my legs around him, and he lowered his forehead to mine, giving me time to adjust to him, time to be sure of what I wanted.

He ran his hand up and down my thigh, and the hands of the men who’d taken me with no right to, fell away. Their bruises faded with them. William kissed his way to my neck, and the hands that had brutally wrapped around it disappeared. The marks often left behind went too. And when he whispered how beautiful I was, how proud of me he was, the voices that said I was nothing, only worth what I was used for, went quiet. My head and heart were clear for the first time in my life. I never knew freedom could feel like this.

“I’m ready.” I hoped he knew those words went beyond this moment. I was ready to live.

William eased his hips back until I thought his cock might leave me altogether. I dug my heels into his lower back to stop him when all I had left was the tip. He sank in deep again, pushing me higher up on the mattress. I moaned, heat prickling my skin as he repeated the slow torture, grinding into me like he wanted to climb inside of me.

I held onto his forearms, meeting his slow thrusts.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he moaned. “Tell me it feels good to you too.”

“Yes,” I whimpered, no longer afraid to admit how much I wanted this, how much my body needed it. “I… I…”

“I know,” he panted, pulling back slowly, then punching forward with force this time. The mattress shifted over the floor. The way his body moved with strength and confidence turned me on, made me want to ask for things I didn’t have the words for.

I felt my orgasm coming, I recognized the signs now, understood my body in a way I hadn’t before thanks to William. I enjoyed the steady build up, the fire coming to life under my skin. I focused hard on staying there, on making this last as long as possible before the crash and then the fireworks came.

He brought his lips down onto mine, our tongues dueling as we groaned and clawed at each other. We couldn’t stop until the kiss stole our last breaths, until my fingers melted into his flesh, and until his hands and cock imprinted on my body.

“Harder,” I breathed. “Faster.” We’d done the slow thing long enough. I needed to feel how much he wanted me. Needed to feel him let loose on me. He gazed at me with worry in his eyes, and I shook my head. “No, William. This is different, I promise.” I was clear on that now, and I refused to let any more fear or doubt left in my mind come between us. “This is you. It’s only been you.”

One end of the mattress was now pressed against the couch and William pulled out, positioning me on my knees and instructing me to hold on to it. I slid my hands under the cushions, gripping the frame.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned, bracing my elbows to keep from falling forward when he entered me from behind. I felt so full like this. William folded his body over me, placing his hands on top of mine.

His pace started off slow, building speed with every thrust until the sound of our sweaty bodies coming together filled the room. “Your ass feels so fucking good,” he hissed into my ear, licking the shell of it before biting down on my lobe. I whimpered, my cock bouncing as he fucked me harder and harder. “I’m gonna fill you with my cum, then I’m gonna to fuck you again, Asher.”

“Yes. Please , yes.”

William’s chest brushed against the scars on my back while his dick rubbed against the ones around my opening. They didn’t make me feel dirty and ugly like they had before. They told a story of survival.

I rocked my hips back to take his cock, my arms trembling as I stared down at my shiny crown. I wanted to touch myself, but I knew once I did this would be over.

“You’re so fucking tight,” William panted, “and warm.” His breath swept over my sweat-soaked skin, giving me goosebumps. “It’s never felt like this before. Never. ”

With the exception of that brutal night we shared in his dining room, I wasn’t used to hearing him curse or speak like this. He’d been much tamer then, though. I was no longer dealing with the man, but the animal in him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this.” He thrusted into me hard then, my arms buckling as I cried out for more. William pulled me back onto his thighs with a fist in my hair, tugging my head to the side so he could suck on my neck. I’d worn his hickey’s before, but this time I wouldn’t hide them like I did at Safe Haven. This time I wouldn’t feel dirty about it.

“Oh, God. I can’t. I can’t...”

His cock felt too big for my body in this position.

“Don’t tell me you can’t unless you mean it, Asher.” He’d stopped fucking me, but I bounced frantically on top of him.

I nodded, pressing his face into my neck again, moaning when the tug on my skin there went straight to my dick.

“Not yet,” he growled when I slid a hand around my cock. He pulled me off of him, and I winced from the sudden loss.

“Get on top. Fuck me.” It was an order. One I knew I could refuse but didn’t want to. He squirted more lube onto his dick, spreading it around as I straddled him. I felt nervous. I’d dry humped him until I came after our night at The Daisy, but this was different. I’d be taking him inside me. This position would show how little I knew. I couldn’t hide the insecurity in my gaze from him.

“You’re perfect,” he said. “There’s no way you can get this wrong, Asher. Fuck my cock. Make me come.”

The way he spoke to me… god, I couldn’t do anything other than moan and whimper at his words. My hair clung to my face and neck, and the patch of skin he’d sucked on throbbed. He reached up to trace a finger there, his eyes darkening, cock pulsing at what he saw.

I lined his dick up with my hole, sinking onto it until my hot slick skin pressed into his thighs. I slapped my palms onto his chest, trying to catch my breath. William gritted his teeth, the veins in his neck bulging.

He held still while I took a testing thrust, then another, finding my rhythm and my confidence. Feeling bold now, I pinched and twisted his nipples like I’d seen him do.

“I need to move,” he bit out, arching into my hands.

“Yes,” I told him, feeling a rush of sensation flow through my body. “I’m not gonna l-last long.”

“We’ve gotta make these seconds count then.” He launched himself into a sitting position, pushing a hand into my hair to hold me still for a teasing kiss. He alternated between nibbling at my lips and plunging his tongue deep into my mouth before backing away. His grip on me prevented me from chasing him.

He did this a few more times as I rocked on top of him, until I eventually took my frustration out on his dick, fucking him harder and clenching around him. He settled back, gripping my hips as I slammed down onto his thighs.

“Fuck!” I cried out when he lifted me until only his crown rested in my hole before dropping me down onto him. He repeated the process while bucking into me with all his strength. I wanted more, so much more.

I felt out of control, head fuzzy from the heat and the pleasure.

“That’s it,” he whispered when I grabbed my cock, his own throbbing inside of me. I pumped myself in long quick strokes, the tingling at the bottom of my spine winding tighter as we fucked harder and faster, our bodies slapping together.

“Asher!” William slammed me onto him one last time, holding me still as he came inside me. I threw my head back, mouth wide as I followed him with a soundless scream. William thrusted a few more times, trembling beneath me, his cum making a squelching sound from within my hole.

I let my dick go and slumped on top of him, smearing my cum between our chests. William didn’t let me lay there long. He rolled me onto my back, throwing my legs over his shoulders as he dropped down and lapped at my hole. I held him there with my hand on his head, circling my hips even while trembling through the aftershocks of my orgasm.

“God,” I moaned, feeling drained. William licked his way up my body, getting as much cum as he could. His eyes were wild and desperate, and when he was done cleaning me he stole another kiss, rolling us across the mattress until we landed on the floor.

He panted above me, brushing back the hair sticking to my face. “Please tell me you’re okay. Tell me if you’re not okay too.”

“I’m okay.” Emotions hit me from every direction. Anger at having missed this for so long, sadness for the same reason. But mostly, I was happy.

“But what I really want to know,” I grinned, “is who was that ?”

“Who was who?”

“That sexy alter ego who came out during sex. We should give him a name.”

William groaned, burying his face in my neck. “Don’t embarrass me.”

“At least I won’t be the only one embarrassed for a change.”

“You should be happy to know I’ve never gotten that carried away.”

That did make me happy. There wasn’t a dry spot on the mattress, so William moved us to the couch. I lay on top of him as we cooled down. I swept my fingers along his smooth chest, and he squirmed, snatching my wrist and placing an apologetic kiss to my palm.

“I’m ticklish in certain places.”

“Where else?” I smiled, thinking of all the fun I could have.

“I’m not telling you.” He kissed the top of my head, and I nestled deeper into his side. “When did you learn how to draw?”

I shrugged. “As far back as I can remember. At one time it was the only thing I was allowed, but then even that was taken from me.” Basic needs like food and water hadn’t been the only things used to control me. My love of drawing had been used against me too.

We lapsed into silence, content to watch the snowfall within our candlelit bubble.

“Is today the hardest day for you?” I asked a while later.

He laced our hands together. “Not just today. There’s the day we were taken, the day I left you, and… June fifth.”

I frowned at the unfamiliar date. “June fifth?”

“The day you lost your mother and nonna. I learned about all the days that meant something to you. They’re all hard for me.”

It seemed he knew more about me than I knew about myself, things I knew once but couldn’t remember. I felt both sad and a little angry that I missed out on him all these years, and grateful about finding him again. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me happy-sad.” I didn’t have the words to better explain it yet.

“I don’t know, but let’s see if I can make you happy-happy.”

You already do , I wanted to say, but I didn’t think I could without wanting to cry.

He eased out from under me and crossed over to the Christmas tree, returning with a gift.

“Happy birthday, Asher.” He pecked my lips before stretching out next to me.

“What’s this?” I tore the paper off. It was a picture frame. I stared at the two people in the photograph, my hand shaking. “Is this…” It couldn’t be. How could it be? I sat up, tears filling my eyes.

“That’s you and your mother. It was after a performance with her band. I tracked down one of the members some years ago. He let me have it.”

I couldn’t have been any older than five, maybe a little younger. I ran a finger over her hair. Her curls were loose and did what they wanted to do, just like mine.

“It’s black, just like yours.” He tucked my hair behind my ear.

“I can’t remember the color of my mother’s hair, or even if I have her name correct.”

“A-and her name?”

William smiled. “Isabella.”

“I knew it,” I cried softly, pressing the photograph to my lips. “I knew it.” I looked at William who seemed to be barely holding himself together. I threw myself on top of him, hugging him with all the gratitude I felt in my heart.

“I love you, Asher.” The words were low. I would’ve missed them if he hadn’t spoken them into my ear. I pulled back, my happy-happy tears falling all over him.

“I loved you first,” I breathed, and when he laughed, I joined in.

“So it’s a competition now, huh?” His joy glued together some of the remaining broken pieces in me.

I set the picture frame aside, picking up the lube before straddling him. I got us both ready before lowering onto him. I waited there, running my fingers over his lips, before trailing them down my neck, right over the hickey he’d given me. William sat up, running his nose along my throat and across my collarbone, inhaling the scent of my skin the way he loved to do. He settled back down after that, and I started to move.

I rode him slowly this time as we gazed into each other’s eyes, neither of us wanting to miss a second of it. I promised to spend the rest of my life loving him, to do the work needed to make that happen. My suffering hadn’t been for nothing, not if in the end it brought me to him.

“They didn’t win,” I whispered, rolling my hips. “They didn’t win.”