Page 56 of One Step Behind

‘Hi hon,’ she says, her voice loud over the noise of the clattering cups I can hear in the background.

‘Hey. You sound like you’re in Costa.’

She laughs. ‘Only a true caffeine addict like you could tell in two seconds flat which cafe I’m in just from the sound of the coffee machine.’

‘Busted,’ I laugh.

‘How are you doing? Some kid threw up all over my shoes today and it made me think of you.’

‘Ah, I’m touched,’ I joke.

‘I was thinking of you lying in the sun, reading a good book and drinking wine. Please tell me that’s what you’re doing right now?’

‘Not quite. I did give the kitchen its first spring clean in ten years, though.’

Diya’s laugh rings in my ears and I grin, a weight lifting from my thoughts. ‘That is so typical of you. I should’ve known you wouldn’t put your feet up. How are you? Are you sleeping better?’

‘A bit.’ A tiny, tiny bit. I don’t like lying to Diya, but I don’t want to ruin our chat with the state of my insomnia.

‘That’s great. Oh, it’s my turn to order. Call me tomorrow, OK?’

‘Sure.’

‘Oh … a soya caramel latte please,’ I hear her say. ‘Better go. Love ya.’

The silent kitchen wraps itself around me and I stifle a long yawn. Talking to Diya has pulled me back to reality and my face burns at the number of times I’ve just tried to talk to Rachel. I’ll apologize next time I see her.

I check the time. I have ten minutes until I need to collect the kids. I leap up to get the bikes out of theshed and check the tyres aren’t flat, but as I move, my arm knocks my bag, toppling it to the floor and scattering the contents across the tiles.

As I reach down to scoop everything back in, I see a set of door keys I don’t recognize. It’s as I’m laying them out in the palm of my hand that I remember they’re yours. There’s a Yale front door key, a small locker key, another Yale key and a deadbolt key.

Should I return them to your bag, risk you seeing me, grabbing me? No. I can’t do that. I never want to see you again. Maybe I should throw them away. Forget I ever had them, forget that I read your address on your hospital notes and know where you live. I like that thought better, but still my heart is pounding in my chest and I don’t know why. There’s a whisper of an idea forming, but I block it out and focus on getting ready for the bike ride.

Chapter 30

Wednesday, 19 June

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Have you

MISSED ME?

Chapter 31

Jenna

The email arrives just as I’m climbing into the car after dropping Beth and Archie at school. I read the four words and the fear returns so fast it’s like it never left me. Every muscle in my body tenses and even though I know you’re not here, I can’t stop myself from peering out of the windscreen, my eyes darting in every direction.

A group of mums with pushchairs wander slowly by, and a white Land Rover pulls up by the school gates just long enough for three children to clamber out and run towards the school.

My hands shake as I call DS Church.

‘Hi Jenna,’ she says before I can get my greeting out.

‘I just got another email,’ I blurt.