Page 35

MIDST FALLING

E verything was black.

Every bit of me ached. Muscles. Bones. Guts.

My side twinged with each breath.

Breath?

Wasn’t I dead?

Bloody void. I’m in the Stygian Murk, aren’t I?

I scrunched my brow, hoping my lashes would knot together so I’d never have to open my eyes again.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

A groan tumbled through my throat, my hand swatting at my face. At the droplets splashing onto my cheek. A wafting breeze fluttered against my chin, and a soft whirring hovered somewhere above my chest.

It’s probably a shade. Just fucking do it. Suck me dry.

“While this is extremely amusing,” Gavrel muttered wryly as the sound of metal sliding into leather rasped, “we need to get going. No, you’re not in limbo. And that most definitely is not a shade.”

My shoulders jerked at hearing his voice, eyes blinking open. I yelped at the pixie floating above my chest, its semi-transparent wings flapping in a blur. It was the leader I’d met during the Weeding. It wiggled the fingers of one hand as the corners of its dark lips curled. The pixie’s seafoam cheeks flushed a pretty shade of jade as it tossed a dewy flower on my chest, the remaining moisture beading on my leather vest.

A low chuckle left me as I swiped away the drops on my cheek, pushing myself up. My laugh turned into a grimace as I did so. By the Ancients, my side burned with every motion. The little fiend squeaked, eyes furrowing as it grabbed the end of my messy braid with tiny, spindly fingers and tugged as if trying to help me.

A grateful smile broke across my face. “Thank you.” It chirped, grinning.

My mouth fell as I stood with effort, gripping my aching flank. Neon radiance gleamed under my feet, the glow of the moss rippling away from me. It was nightfall, the full moon steeping through vibrant orange leaves.

A deep, shaky breath left me as gloom clung to my spine, pulling on my frame. Breena was gone. Rhaegar was gone. “Where’s my sister? Kaden?”

Gavrel rose from the boulder he’d been sitting upon, moonlight bathing one side of his chiseled face, the other hidden in shadow. “They should all be home.”

The pixie perched on the boulder, its head bobbing between us as we talked, copper eyes wide, mouth gaping.

“How long have I been out?”

“A few hours.”

“How did we get here?”

“I carried you.”

I snorted. “All the way from the arena?”

“Correct.” He shrugged, running his hand through his thick hair. I stared at the dark waves streaked in midnight blue where the light kissed it. “Marah and Endurst’s dome collapsed after Melina thought you were destroyed. The barracks exit was wide open.”

My cheeks flushed. An image of Gavrel holding me close, his breath fluttering over my neck, intruded my thoughts. A vision from two summers ago. I shook my head, my damp braid plopping off my shoulder and down my back.

“Well, thank you,” I mumbled. “Mind filling in any other blanks so we don’t give this little beastie a neckache?” The pixie squeaked in agreement, folding two delicate hands in its lap.

Gavrel wrapped his large hands around his baldric, skin stretching across his knuckles. He sighed. “Kaden healed you. Lucky, considering your injury was surely fatal.”

My chin dropped, my heart tender and aching.

His fingers met my jaw, lightly pushing up so my eyes had no choice but to meet his. “You lost control of your ember, yes. But that doesn’t make you a monster. You’d never intentionally hurt those you care about. In time, you’ll learn to be in harmony with your gift.” I turned my head to the side, disbelief puckering my lips as his hand fell away from me.

I’d already hurt those I cared about. Physically and emotionally.

His nostrils flared. “At this moment, I know you are incapable of seeing how extraordinary you are. But I’ll believe it enough for the both of us until you come around.” My eyes narrowed at him, my heartbeat accelerating.

He turned his attention to the pixie as it stared adoringly at him. “Mind showing us the way, little one?” The creature zipped up, its wings flapping furiously. It twirled and pointed ahead.

“Thank you.” He took my hand. “Let’s move, and I’ll explain more.”

We followed the trail of zigzagging iridescence through the Reverie Weald, my stomach sore from my healed injury and cramping from hunger.

I rested my hand in Gavrel’s warm one, soaking in the comfort. His encouraging words stroked my ravaged soul, trying to seal its cracks.

Promising me that I wasn’t a monster.

“As I was saying. Your injury—you should’ve broken into dust, but you didn’t.” His eyebrows pinched. “Kaden realized it. I realized it. I’m hoping Melina was too upset after seeing your powers to realize it. But we most likely won’t be so lucky.” His hand squeezed mine, and he sighed, watching the creature before us.

The pixie paused, flitting in front of a giant banyan tree, scratching delicate fingertips along the trunk’s gnarled bark. A wide grin spread across its face as a translucent amber archway presented itself—embedded in the trunk. Mossy vines swayed before the swirling and twinkling center, inviting us in. It looked just like the portal gate near the palace. My head turned, eyes fixing on Gavrel’s profile.

“What are you saying?”

“You aren’t in your astral form, Little Star.”

“What?!” I cried, yanking my hand from his.

“For one, you didn’t disintegrate after a fatal injury. For another, your body wasn’t pulled back to your pod at midnight.” My belly gurgled. He smirked. “And that’s a regular occurrence.”

I huffed, “You’re still here.”

His shoulders lifted. “My team is always the last to leave. As the first day of the Spring Equinox draws to an end, we do our final rounds, and then the pixies help us find the exit portal after everyone is gone. It often moves, but they can find it. Between you and me, I think the beasties just want us to leave—Rhaegar has had a void of a time with them.” He smiled at the pixie, which clapped its hands together.

My shoulders slumped, picturing his second-in-command impaled. Gavrel’s forehead dropped, wrinkling. “This little one was waiting for us outside the barracks. I think it likes you. Have you met before?”

A reluctant curl tweaked the corner of my mouth. “We’ve met.” It smirked, tugging on a stray curl next to my cheek. “Thank you,” I called after the creature as it waved and zipped away. One brow lifted as I studied the commander. “You sure seem to be in good spirits, considering everything that’s happened.” I stepped away from him. “And strangely forthcoming.”

A distant smile lined his lips, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. “The currents are turning. Perhaps the Fates are in our favor for once.” His eyes bored into mine. “Perhaps we’ll never have to suffer the Dormancy again.”

My eyebrows shot up, but before I could question him further, he wrapped his arm around my waist and flung our bodies through the hazy mist, its firefly-like orbs spinning frenziedly as we plummeted.

My mind somersaulted along with my body through the aether—the Ancient’s ethereal firmament. It swathed me in a swirling, opaque mist. Glittering orbs of light clung to my skin and hair. I had no clue where Gavrel was.

Did the original mortals name our realm Midst Fall because the Ancients chucked them out of Surrelia and they just fell to the earth?

And fell.

And fell some more .

After everything I’d been through, my emotions were dulled. Their usually sharp edges scuffed away, leaving only a blunted detachment.

I should have felt horrified that I’d been fully in Surrelia and could have died numerous times in the last six months. But I didn’t. All that was left was a smoldering vat of ire and the need to lash out. Was this how Kaden always felt?

My belly grumbled again, not appreciating being left out. No wonder I was hungry and tired all the damn time. You had to actually eat and rest when you were alive and walking around in your Ancient-forsaken body. I huffed, my breath immediately becoming one with the mystical haze.

The abyss tore at my battle clothes, and I gulped in a lungful of cool, honeyed air before a new sensation suctioned at my body. The nothingness suckled at my skin, consuming me.

Without warning, I jolted forward, my spine bouncing and locking mid-air. Inky tendrils crept around me like shadowed fingers, claiming me and shooing away the lively beads of light. The dark mist slithered over my body, under my clothes, and I squirmed. Unable to move. It spread up my neck. Over my chin, as I clamped my lips closed, my nostrils flaring.

My ember thrummed under my skin wildly, my scar knocking against my nape. Just as the sticky darkness was about to seep into my mouth and overpower me, my power blazed like iridescent barbs. The haze reared back, slinking from whence it came.

My aura expanded, illuminating the amber egg encasing me. It pressed against the barrier, and a rainbow-like shimmer rippled over the glass before it rotated and vanished.

“Welcome back,” Gavrel murmured, the edges of his emerald eyes glinting as he studied me. He held out a hand, and I took it, lifting myself from the Dormancy pod, opaque mist spilling at my boots.

My gaze swept around the conservatory. With a hissing whoosh, the glass of my tomb revolved back in place, transforming into a solid, glossy black cell like all the others.

Their starburst shape still resembled a gleaming, sinister flower. A flower that had poisoned our dreams and torn apart our very souls. The line of my mouth scrunched, the bridge of my nose wrinkling.

I looked at Gavrel, his plump lips ever in a firm line, mimicking his straight spine. My chin lifted, and I mirrored him, my vertebrae stacking perfectly atop one another. “It didn’t take my memories.”

“I thought as much.” We looked into each other’s eyes. But I’m not sure what he saw in mine or if they reflected what was in his. He turned, waving his arm toward the exit, and I gave him a curt nod.

Running to my cottage, my pulse drummed in my ears. The sturdy, grymwood frame called to me. A flickering light danced in my and Letti’s circular bedroom window, cutting through the early morning dawn. A broken sob tore from my lips as Letti dashed around the side, her body colliding with mine. I shuddered within her warm embrace.

She held me at arm’s length, head tilting and hazel eyes searching my face. “What’s wrong? I was so worried when you weren’t there when I awakened. I’ve been waiting all morning for you. Thank the Ancients, you made it back.” She wrapped her arm around me, leading me to our home. Gavrel followed silently behind us like a wraith bathed in twilight.

As we entered, the reassuring scent of timber, candle wax, and astra poppies hit me. My shoulders fell, and I leaned my weight into Letti as unshed tears lined my lower lashes. I was finally home—the same as I’d left it.

But I wasn’t the same. I was broken. Made of ragged fragments that I feared would no longer fit together.

My sister guided me to a kitchen chair, the seat creaking as it took my weight. She lit a candle, its delicate flame frolicking along the red-orange petals of the astra poppy adorning a vase on the table. I looked at Letti as she sat beside me, Gavrel standing near my shoulder, palms resting on the back of my chair.

“Are you all right, sis? You look rattled.” My eyes fixated on the dainty bloom. “Don’t worry, I didn’t pick it. I found it lying on the grass in the backyard.” She shrugged.

I murmured, “Do you … do you remember anything?”

One golden brow rose, and she snorted. Heavy footfalls marched down the hall, and my back stiffened. Gavrel’s fingers tightened, making the chair’s dowels squeak.

“What is going on? Why are you all sneaking around in the dark?”

“Hello to you as well, Father.” My lips pressed together as I lifted my jaw. I sat taller, leather rasping against my seat.

He squinted as he looked down his nose. “I see you’ve made it back. What a relief.” His brittle tone begged to differ. I leaned back with a sigh, his words not burrowing into me as they once would have. I wasn’t sure if that was because I now knew there were greater things to fear or if I was still numb.

“Thank you, you as well.”

He sniffed, tightening his thread-bare robe around him. “Yes, well. What were you on about?”

Letti stood, rubbing her hand on his shoulder. “Ser asked if I remembered anything from the Dormancy.”

“How absurd.” He arched a light eyebrow, his trimmed blond hair swept back. Even when he slept, there wasn’t one single hair out of place.

I rose from my chair, the pads of my fingers pressing into the table. “Yes, you’re right.” Something stopped me from telling them about my memories, my nape tingling.

He gave us a curt nod, squeezing Letti’s shoulder, and turned back to his room. “Get some rest. We’ve got a lot of work to do.” He left without waiting for a response, his feet thunking against the floorboards.

“Letti, have you seen Kaden?” Gavrel inquired, stepping closer to the flickering light.

Her hand fluttered up, resting against her collarbone. “Oh no. No, I haven’t. I woke up alone.” Her eyes widened, nails digging into the collar of her nightshirt.

His jaw clenched. “All right. I’ll watch for him. Good night.” He bowed and departed hastily.

I didn’t want to alarm Letti, so I put my arm around her. “Let’s get some sleep. In the light of day, things will be clearer.” I wasn’t sure whether I was convincing herself or myself. If my cryptic words confused my sister, she didn’t show it as we went to our room and tucked in for a few hours of rest.

Gavrel and I both knew Kaden should have been reeled back in at the same time as everyone else. But we couldn’t do anything about it right now, especially without rest or sustenance.

As soon as my head hit my feather pillow, my eyes drooped closed, and I fell once more—this time into a blessedly deep and dreamless sleep.