Page 13

THE HEART: A FICKLE CREATURE

“ A ll right, so what if I kissed my best friend? It’s no big deal.”

I was talking to myself in bed the next morning. Out loud. The sun had risen, spraying fractured rainbows around the canopy, but I’d awoken hours before, restless and annoyed with myself. Accepting I needed to get on with my day, I shoved the quilt off me, huffing. After quickly bathing and dressing, I joined Letti for breakfast in the dining hall.

She was right; eating was something to do. It seemed like almost everyone ate at mealtimes. While trapped here, why not enjoy a little indulgence? It was a time to connect with others. Well, not the Elders, of course. I deduced they wouldn’t join us for meals in the future since they hadn’t done so yet. Why would they bother sharing a meal with us lowly minions?

I shifted on the bench, the wood grumbling under me. Oh, shut up, bench, I thought, gazing at the fresh muffin on my plate. We could all use these moments to distract us from the fact that we were not physically here in Surrelia. That our bodies were in ember-induced stupors—in terrifying black tombs, dreaming against our wills. All the while, our world continued its death march without us.

“Are you okay, Ser?” Letti stared at me wide-eyed. Her brows furrowed as she scooped a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth. I glowered at her as she chewed in an aggravatingly slow manner.

I sighed and took a deep breath, calming my spiraling thoughts. Get ahold of yourself, woman, I scolded myself, sitting up straight and rolling my shoulders.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I glued a smile on my face.

“I don’t believe you.”

I mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that, sweet sister?” Letti asked.

I picked up the muffin and tossed it at her plate. “I’m fine, oh loving sister of mine. Eat your breakfast.”

She laughed, picking up her muffin and taking a big bite. “Here if you need me. Besides, you’re humming while you eat. So, it can’t be that bad.”

The corners of my lips curled as I nodded at her and continued eating. We left our table shortly after to start our chores for the day.

As we approached the exit, Kaden and Gavrel walked in. Kaden’s eyes immediately found mine, imploring. My head swayed briefly as we greeted them. One of Gavrel’s eyebrows raised at the formality of our conversation, but I was too worn out to mind. We each went our separate ways without further discussion. I’d process our little rendezvous later.

After I finished my work for the day, I longed to explore the grounds further. Throughout the day, Mr. Burlam hadn’t sniped at me much, despite being as cantankerous as ever. Maybe he felt a speck of sympathy after seeing me scurry out of the library last night. Scoffing, I dismissed the silly notion.

The afternoon sunlight soaked into me as I wandered to the mainland. I went to the fence along the cliff, staring into the deep ravine below. The river crashed relentlessly into the jagged cliff. Leaning my forearms on the wooden barrier, I closed my eyes and lost myself to the whooshing of the waterfalls to my left, allowing the sound to wrap me in a buzzing haze of solace.

“Seryn,” Kaden murmured, resting on the fence beside me. I hadn’t noticed him approach. His hair was damp with sweat, making him look rugged. Strong. Stupidly handsome. Damn him.

“I’m all right. I needed to get my thoughts together.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you last night.”

“You didn’t scare me. I … I enjoyed what happened.” I looked over at him, a smile creeping along his lips. The very lips I had kissed last night. “But we’re best friends, Kade. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“But—”

“Listen, can we just forget about it? Go back to normal for now?”

His lips pressed together, a glower etching into his face as he watched the violent currents below. “For now.”

I’d known him long enough to appreciate the restraint he was showing. He wanted to say more but was giving me what I wanted. For now.

“Walk with me?” I bumped his shoulder with mine, and a cheerless smile lifted the corners of his mouth. We strolled silently for a while, observing others in the training field and taking in the vibrant landscape around us. My thoughts wandered as we moved, drifting in and out of various memories and musings.

I peeked at Kaden and then forward again, releasing a puff of air. Over the turns, I’d had dalliances with a couple of young men at home. Though it never went beyond kissing and touching. I still possessed my maidenhead, but it wasn’t something I was concerned about one way or the other.

The heat—the burning desire—to go further with them had eluded me. If I had wanted to, I would have. At the time, I had more pressing concerns; ensuring my family had enough to eat every day being the main one. However, it frustrated me that I had wanted—no, needed —to go further last night.

With my best friend.

Kaden certainly had broken some hearts over the turns, even if unintentionally. He’d bedded at least two women in our village that I knew of. One a few turns older than us and one our age. Both were left mourning the loss of a relationship that had never begun. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, my gaze drawn to his plump lips.

Stop .

I looked ahead, concentrating on the colorful hues of the Reverie Weald.

One of Kaden’s most admirable traits was his absolute candor—even when you didn’t want it. I grinned. We shared almost everything, maybe to a fault. I wasn’t sure anymore.

At the time, Kaden had told me he’d been honest with each woman, informing them he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. But alas, the heart was a fickle creature, digging its way through any sane person’s sensibilities. I should know. If I was honest with myself, the random thought of Kaden and me being together had sporadically slipped into my notice over the turns.

But it was foolish. If our friendship had been left in shambles …

It.

Would.

Destroy.

Me.

My chin lifted. It was better to be friends. And that was that.

When we reached the edge of the woods, Kaden and I paused, peering at each other.

“Shall we?” we both asked in unison. We laughed and strode into the trees, Kaden’s hand on my back.

We explored the area for hours, wandering deep into the endless forest. I basked in the mellow beams of light bursting through the succulent leaves overhead. Sunshine bathed the canopy, the breeze making it look like flames swaying above us. Healthy moss and clusters of multicolored flowers covered the forest floor. This place—I sighed, leaning against a tree—took my breath away.

“Dreamy, isn’t it?” Kaden chuckled.

“I miss home so much, but this is spectacular.” I paused, watching a furry, hand-sized critter scurry past us and into a nearby flower patch. It studied us with six curious brown eyes, blinking in time with the frenzied swish of a long, fluffy tail. Its perky, triangular ears swiveled this way and that. Finding us harmless, it sat on its haunches, grooming its spotted, apricot-colored fur with tiny paws. “Doesn’t it make you want to figure out what we can do for Midst Fall?”

Kaden’s eyebrows rose. “Yes, it does. What do you think I’ve been complaining about all these turns? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t like the sound of my own voice.”

“I know, I know. But it seems impossible. Like we’re just puppets dancing to the Elders’ tune.”

“Never a better time to cut the strings, I suppose.” He bent over and picked up a bundle of broken flowers, its smashed petals the color of blueberries.

He cradled it in his cupped palm, closing his eyes. His aura gathered in a compressed, pulsing orb, radiating from his chest as if his heart were the source of his ember. His eyes opened, focusing on the flowers. Simmering from the orb, his power flickered over his arms and hands, and then the rest of his body. The green hue around him was so vibrant that it looked like he came from the moss beneath him.

He poured his energy into the bouquet, the petals and stems twisting and knitting back together. A grin spread across his face, and his brilliant aura faded. Handing the posy to me, his eyes glinted for a moment. “For you, milady.”

My smile pushed wider, my eyes scrunching in awe and delight. “Have you been practicing?”

“I have—in between squire duties and sparring. Gavrel and some other Druiks have been sharing tips with me. You can learn a lot in a short time … when you aren’t hiding.” He shrugged. “You should join us. Dig into what your ember is.”

“I’d like that.” A twinkle caught my attention, and I turned my head.

Not far ahead, a barrier of some sort fluttered over the path, stretching across the entire forest; a glittering, translucent veil draping from the treetops and through anything it touched.

“What is that?” Kaden asked, squinting. Our tiny, furry friend flicked its six rounded eyes in that direction, squeaked, and scampered off in the opposite direction.

We moved toward it, drawn by its mystic beauty. I grabbed Kaden as his outstretched hand reached for the luminous shroud.

“Careful—we don’t know what this will do.”

Upon closer inspection, it was a thin film of glimmering iridescent hues and sparkles. The delicate colors swirled and shifted in the light, sometimes disappearing from view as if made of vapor. The mesmerizing boundary was neither liquid nor gas, but it wasn’t solid, either. I couldn’t exactly grasp what I was looking at, my eyes playing tricks on me. It quivered in the breeze like a piece of wispy material drying on a clothesline.

“This must be what Melina was talking about when she said we’d know when we’d gone too far.” Kaden studied the veil, one hand cupping his chin.

“Well then, I’m not sure I want to test that theory.” I laughed nervously.

“Come on, Ser. What if the answers to our questions are on the other side of these sparkle drapes? I think our astral bodies will be just fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “Damn you, you hobgoblin.”

A sound of nervous determination vibrated in my throat as I thrust my fingers into the twinkling vapor to show my annoyance with his logic. A rush of heat zapped from below my star-shaped scar, pulsing along my spine. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it vaguely reminded me of the feeling in the Stygian Murk before I blew up the shade. I pulled my hand back, holding it against my chest with the other.

“Holy shit on a biscuit! Your eyes are glowing!” Kaden yelped and then proceeded to shove his hand through the veil. He yelped again and pulled it out.

“Yours, too,” I responded wryly.

We shrugged, wearing matching, mischievous grins. Kaden winked as my eyes widened, and without further ado, we flung our bodies through the mist.

As we tumbled into the other side, I had the fleeting thought that we were being too reckless, but here we were.

I looked at Kaden and then down at my dress. Tiny beads of twirling light stuck to our figures like soap bubbles on wet glass. The hazy outlines of our shapes remained in the veil behind us, opaque silhouettes devoid of the veil’s colorful, swirling sparkles.

The mystical glow within our eyes faded. Soon after, the dazzling orbs leaped from our bodies, fusing with the mystic mesh once more.

Kaden shook out his arms, clenching his hands. “It feels like my skin is vibrating.”

“Same,” I murmured, my vision wandering over the lustrous forest surrounding us. The trees, moss, flowers … every living thing was bursting with illuminated, coruscating auras as if they could no longer bury their ember within them. I exhaled, creating a soft, glittering swirl of air in front of me. “Is this what the world truly looks like?”

Kaden shrugged and moved forward, smirking. Specks of twinkling light floated around him and his path, caressing but not making contact with him. I shook my head, brushing some errant curls from my cheek, and followed him. The neon motes frolicked around me in the same way.

As we walked, I wiggled my fingers through the air, mesmerized by its shimmering dance. With every step, a rippling glow swept through the moss. I brushed my palm over the rich bark of a tree trunk, its smooth knots and ridges prominent. It felt alive. I grazed my fingertips over pearlescent flowers dancing beside the tree, the petals warm and velvety. Each time my skin connected with the flora, its aura brightened, swaying away from my touch and settling back into the living thing like a wave upon the shore.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, the energies around me sifting through my lungs and tingling along my skin.

Little Staaaaar.

My eyes snapped open, a trickle of panic zipping up my neck at the rasping voice creeping through the air.

“Kaden, was that you?”

“Huh? Did you say something?” Kaden’s eyes bore through me like I was made of the same material as the glimmering veil. I reached my hand toward him, but he wandered around and past me—searching for something, forgetting I was there.

“Kaden—”

My voice caught behind my teeth as a chilled breeze washed over me. Irradiant specks of ember churned in a frenzy, as if trying to escape, but they couldn’t stray far from the confines of the orbiting breeze. The creaking voice tangled within the wind as it twirled around me. My nickname echoed, slicing through my thoughts until I was dizzy, my mind spinning.

Liiiiittle Staaaar.

My little star.

I whipped toward the voice, now immediately behind me—melodic and feminine. Familiar. Nearly forgotten. I swept my fingers over my lashes, clearing away tears exorcised by the frosty memories clawing within me.

“Mama?” I rasped, my voice scratching.

She was there, a milky form materializing. The ember caught within the spinning air slurped into her shape as if it drank in the energy, extinguishing its light.

“Yes, Little Star,” she said, a simper splitting her ethereal features. She looked both solid and made of vapor. Her gauzy white dress drifted to the ground, fading into hazy billows around her. The only true color saturating her was that of her wild ruby-colored hair floating around her shoulders.

My mind was made of vapor as well. I clenched my fingers into my palm, the pain a reminder to steady myself. Pulsing frantically, my scar sent tremors quivering down my back and over my arms.

“Where have you been, Mama?” I asked, my words catching in my throat, breathless. She glided toward me, her arms outstretched.

“Here.”

“In Surrelia? Why couldn’t you come home? What happened?”

Her arms wrapped around me, her skin icy and clammy.

She didn’t feel right.

“Mama?”

“Littlllllle Starrr.” Her voice slithered around me.

She didn’t sound right.

I tried to shift within her embrace but found myself ensnared. A tear freed itself, rolling down my cheek and freezing against my skin as I looked at her. No longer beautiful, but eerie and ravenous. My breaths were shallow; each inhale felt like tiny icicle shards sliced down through my windpipe.

A deep, rumbling terror rushed through me as my legs and arms numbed, my fingers bending into rigid claws, unable to move or extend. My mind filled with fog as my breathing slowed.

Little liiiitle.

Starrrrr.

The creature’s voice was in my mind, its terrifying grin stuck in place, lips unmoving over glinting teeth.

The creature was wearing my mother’s skin and lurking behind her voice.

Staining the memory of her.

Unacceptable.

Burgeoning fury sweltered in my belly. My teeth ground together as I concentrated on that fire, willing it to spread, to thaw my iced limbs. I thought of my mother. Her unique views of the world that were also instilled in me. The love that radiated from her.

This monster could never understand that. Could never mimic who she was deep within her soul. The blaze ignited, scorching through my body. My hair flamed around me in whipping tendrils. My scar throbbed as iridescence sizzled over my skin.

The being’s eyes—a poor imitation of Mama’s—widened. It released me with a moist pop, its sticky skin releasing from mine. As it stumbled back, the cloudy haze shrouding it flickered, revealing its true form.

A gelatinous, wiggling blob stood before me, balancing on its squishy, corpulent tail. Its muck-colored body, as tall as me, resembled a giant leech with several segmented rings circling its turgid mass. Through a slimy, semi-translucent membrane, its innards were on display, pumping and writhing—gluttonous.

Desperate to latch onto me, a gaping, viscid cavity, filled with needle-like teeth, sucked at the air. A myriad of tiny worm-like arms wriggled from its upper body, grasping for me.

I swallowed a lump of disgust and let power pulsate over me. My aura grew bright and then condensed, rushing down my forearms and hands in splintering, branch-like patterns of luminescence.

My prismatic glow reflected on the slime of the monster’s body. Two glacial-blue orbs reflected in the ooze—my eyes were glowing again, filling with magnificent energy. A sense of relief and tranquility settled into my mind as if my ember welcomed my surrender. One word ached longingly through my awareness: destroy.

Destroy.

A curdling, moist screech cleaved the air. The creature crumbled before me, the blade of a shining sword piercing its bulging belly.

Destroy.

“Seryn!” A commanding shout pried through my consciousness.

Destroy.

Someone was in front of me, shaking my shoulders. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, willing my mind to own itself—scratching through the muddied recesses of my focus.

“That’s it. Come back to me now,” his voice rumbled along my skin.

Steady hands cradled the back of my head and neck, and a soothing warmth radiated from the male’s skin, blanketing mine. My scar hummed with the comforting energy, my aura greedily absorbing it.

The murk cleared, and my aura seeped into my body. My eyes, no longer blazing, focused as I opened them.

“Gavrel?” I murmured in confusion. He nodded, a grim line cutting across his mouth.

“Where is Kaden?” he asked.

“I’m … I’m not sure.” My heart thumped wildly as I took a wobbly step away from him. He went to the slimy pile, and a wet, slurping sound followed as he wrenched his sword free from the beast’s mass. His rune tattoo burned brightly, and the radiance of his sword intensified as he adjusted his grip on the hilt.

“Gavrel—”

A howl of sorrow cut off my words.

“Ma! Noooo!”

“Wait here,” he commanded. He gave me a stern look, knowing I probably would do the opposite of what he instructed. He was right. Grunting, Gavrel ran toward the sound of Kaden’s pleas. I ran behind him on unsteady legs.

Kaden was soon ahead of us, defenseless and unable to move. My hands flew to my mouth, holding back a scream and the sick rising. Another parasite latched onto his limp form, its worm-like arms embracing him tightly. His back bowed as the oozing being curved over him. Its barbed teeth latched onto his chest as it gulped in his ember.

“Ma, why?” Kaden’s ragged whisper broke my heart in half. His lips were pale, the same color as his now pallid skin. His aura was diminishing fast, the green of it barely visible.

Gavrel reached them, his hand and sword blazing as he stabbed through the demon’s side. The monster hissed, unlocking its grip on Kaden. It writhed and shrieked in agony as Gavrel pulled his sword away, stabbing it again through its gaping mouth. It sagged, flaccid and lifeless, onto the glowing moss.

Kaden crumpled to the ground, and I ran to him, holding him in my shaking arms. His body was freezing, his limbs limp. His upper body lay across my lap as I cradled his head in the crook of my elbow. He whimpered.

“Well, this is disappointing.”

The female’s voice startled me, jerking my body, jostling Kaden. Elder Melina Harrow leaned against a tree. Her snug black dress wrapped around her curves, the color marring the neon hues surrounding us. A steel-colored mantle hung from her slender shoulders and swept down, petting the moss beneath her. She casually inspected her dark, pointed nails. A striking, glossy ring wrapped around her thumb. Its intricately carved design resembled delicate lace sculpted out of black tourmaline. The ring’s interwoven contours and crevices glinted.

She caught my stare from under her lashes and let her arm fall as she pushed herself off the tree trunk with a dramatic moan.

“Why did you have to spoil the best part, Gavie?” she asked with an exaggerated pout and then laughed as her mouth settled into a simper.

“Forgive me, Mistress Harrow. I wasn’t about to allow my brother to be harmed,” he replied, his expression unreadable, aside from his ticking jaw. I followed his lead, grinding my molars together, wary of saying something any of us might regret.

She dismissed him with a wave of her delicate hand as she approached Kaden and me. She loomed over us, tilting her head to one side, studying me with one eyebrow raised. “You put on quite the show … Seryn Vawn, is it?” She didn’t wait for a response. “I’ve no doubt it would have been more riveting if Gavie hadn’t intervened.”

“Indeed, Mistress,” I murmured, keeping the acid in my gut at bay.

She clapped her hands together, glancing at Gavrel, who stood at my side. “Ah, the little puppet speaks.”

Puppet .

Heat gathered in my cheeks. I opened my mouth to reply but then thought better of it, slowly releasing my breath and sealing my lips. Kaden stirred in my arms, groaning and lifting his hands to rub his eyes.

“Kaden, it’s all right. I’ve got you.” I helped him sit beside me.

“All is well in the enchanted forest,” Melina quipped as she twirled and took a few steps away. She turned back to us, her mantle twisting around her curves, her platinum hair draping down her back meticulously. She grinned again as her hands stretched toward us.

A wisping dark smoke smoldered around her, licking over her arms and hands. Her uncanny silver eyes pierced into mine. A deep throbbing began in my scar and clawed over my head. My mind was breaking free of my skull, pushing against the thick bones. I pressed my palms to the sides of my head, scrunching my forehead—trying to rid myself of the intrusive ache. My aura flickered over my skin, and I welcomed its presence. All at once, the pressure dissipated. With a sigh of relief, I dropped my hands. My ember fizzled out, evaporating as swiftly as it had appeared.

Melina squinted, tilting her head. “I look forward to observing your ember develop, little Seryn. You are quite intriguing. It wouldn’t do for you to be trapped in the Stygian Murk when I’m just getting to know you. Perhaps you’ll heed my warnings and not stray so far again. Be a good pet, like your mother, and all will be well.”

I began to rise, ire pushing my limbs forward. Gavrel’s heavy hand bridled my shoulder, and Kaden grabbed my hand on the other side. Before I could tug my body away from them, Melina’s aura enveloped her in a billowing haze as she clapped her hands together. She vanished like a nightmare does upon waking. Her smoky ember drifted away into the neon leaves, joining the flames above us.