Page 16

BUCKLE UP

A fter dinner, Kaden and I headed to the mainland.

“What’s going on with you and Gavrel?” I asked, one hand propped on my hip, the other clutching a borrowed library book. After sparring earlier—with both daggers and words—and the bustle of the library throughout the day, a wary heaviness pressed upon me.

Fortunately, Mr. Burlam had stopped complaining about his missing lantern orb after finally receiving a replacement. Thank the Ancients for small miracles.

“What? Nothing,” Kaden groused, his eyes shifting toward the garden beside us. A couple of older women were puttering around in it, gathering vegetables in a woven basket.

“Sure.” I stepped to his side, in line with his vision. “You know I can tell when you’re lying?”

He rolled his eyes, turning to me and crossing his arms. “He’s being Gavrel. I find it annoying sometimes.”

My mouth went slack, and I snorted, squeezing the bridge of my nose with my free hand. “What does that even mean? He isn’t behaving any differently than he usually does. You, on the other hand, are provoking him more than usual.”

“He … he needs to mind himself and not worry about what I’m doing.”

The women gardening attempted to ignore us, but I caught some side glances and raised brows. I put my hand on his forearm, gently leading him away from prying ears.

“Well, he has always worried about you. So, that won’t end. Maybe you should have a chat with him,” I suggested, my eyes pleading.

“Sure,” he muttered, letting his arms drop, his lips tucking in for a moment. “Don’t you think you should talk with him?”

“What are you on about? Please, just say what you want to. I’m getting dizzy from talking in circles.” I jammed one fist into my dress pocket, using the book in my other hand to make a circle in the air before hugging it to my chest.

My knuckle bumped into my talisman. I kept it in my pocket every day—a little reminder to be steady. I huffed in frustration. Kaden was usually my rock, but he was working through something, trying to find his footing in life. I’d need to find solid ground on my own.

“You haven’t noticed how he’s been looking at you the last several turns, Little Star ?” he mocked, leaning into my space. His nostrils flared a bit, his breathing shallow. “He barely smiles unless you’re around.”

“Ancients forbid Gavrel actually smiles,” I snapped, my tone dripping with sarcasm. My cheeks burned. I couldn’t believe Kaden’s behavior. Pressing my lips together, I breathed in and out through my nose.

After several moments, I added, “For now, I won’t continue this conversation because it’s absurd, and it sounds like a you problem .”

His jaw ticked as he ran both hands through his dark hair. I spun around, heading for the forest to calm myself. Prickling heat was tapping under my scar in time with my pulse.

After what had happened with the mare wyrm a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure how dangerous my uncontrolled ember could be. The nagging feeling of being a puppet on a string sat heavily on my chest. My memories of the event were spotty. I still needed to discover if it was because of the Nether creature’s influence … or my gifts.

As I strolled, I focused on the people I passed, grounding myself. They smiled and greeted me, and I returned the sentiments. I waved to the young woman and toddler I saw on the first day we arrived—the ones who had lost their toy ball. During our time here, I learned they were siblings. Sadly, their parents had not made it to Surrelia. The child was giggling and running around his sister, chasing a butterfly, as she chatted with other people.

A gentle sense of hope nudged at my frustration with Kaden. It always amazed me to think about how resilient people were, their hope and perseverance refusing to break during times of uncertainty and hardship. Kaden had lost his way, but I trusted he would find the right path. I would be there for him while he did.

A smile danced on my lips, thinking of all the incredible people I’d met so far in Surrelia, but then it dropped as I mourned the eventual loss of their memory. The Dormancy would claim such reminiscences upon waking. My heavy sigh plummeted to the ground.

Once in the woods, my feet carried me, as they often did, to a heartbreakingly beautiful tree with a massive, gnarled trunk—the Elysium Tree. It was said to be the most sacred tree in all existence. A source of life-giving ember. A place to pray or offer oaths to the Ancients. It was a primordial form towering above the others nearby, its long, thick branches twisting over them as if gathering the smaller trees like children into the safety of its embrace.

Groaning contentedly, I sat and leaned against the trunk. A flicker of its power shivered against my back in greeting. The tree’s dense crown of roundish orange leaves draped above me, hiding me from the setting sun. Patches of dangling vines clung to the branches, creating a sparse curtain.

I reached up and touched the back of my neck, stretching to the side. My star-shaped mark was calm but tingling.

In the last few weeks, I was more aware of the energies around me. Every day, more auras revealed themselves, clinging to Druiks, flora, and fauna. They were brimming with ember, elemental creatures at their core.

Each aura was unique to the living being it resided in. Swirling, sparkling, pulsing, floating. The world was a gorgeous display of the Ancients’ gifts to mortals, an exquisite canvas bursting with vibrancy and color. It often reminded me of the painting of Morpheus near my quarters.

The leaves and vines above seemed to rustle and shiver in understanding. The sinuous bark of the Elysium Tree warmed, soothing energy nuzzling against my back.

My hands rested on the spongy moss beneath me, and I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the peace flowing through me. I breathed in and out.

In.

Out.

Willing my ember to synchronize with my heart, I repeated the cycle several times. I’d been practicing, learning how to regulate it. Such concentration helped channel and redirect my power when it had a mind of its own. I was tentatively enthusiastic about my progress in managing and learning my gifts, even if I still wasn’t entirely sure what they were.

A warm bulk settled beside me, leaning against the tree, fabric brushing against the bark. Without opening my eyes, I knew it was Kaden. I could always tell. His woodsy scent laced with mint. The way he moved his body.

His hip and thigh were snug against mine as he took my hand. “I’m sorry, Ser,” he murmured.

I opened my eyes and turned my head toward him, the back of it still touching the tree trunk. My book forgotten.

We sat in silence, looking at each other. His countenance was highlighted in pink and violet—the same shades as the sunset in Reverie Weald.

When I didn’t speak, he continued, “I feel like there’s too much within me. My thoughts … my feelings … are bashing into my skull with nowhere to go.” He looked up to the canopy above us, fingering a drooping vine for a moment. “And I took it out on you. On Gavrel.”

“All right,” I sighed. “I think you still need to talk with your brother, though. You’ve been through a lot, and you need to find ways to deal with it.” I squeezed his hand.

“I know. I …”

I waited, not wanting to discourage his processing.

“I suppose I’m a bit envious of Gavrel. He’s accomplished so much. What have I done? Nothing.” He let go of my hand, rubbing his palms over his thighs. “And when he looks at you the way he does … I want to punch something.”

My belly fluttered. My pulse eagerly tapping against my neck. I dipped my head, swallowing, sifting the jumbled sensations within me.

Shifting to face him, I crossed my legs. I took his hand again, twining my fingers with his and resting them on my lap. “You are as worthy as Gavrel or anyone else. You’re one of the best people I know. And you care.” I put my other hand on his cheek, and he leaned into it. “You care so deeply, which is why you feel so much. All at once.”

He enveloped my hand with his, turning his lips to my palm and kissing it gently. His fingers moved to my shoulder, settling against the slope of my neck. My hand fell, resting atop our joined fingers.

Staring intently into my eyes, he leaned toward me, drawing me closer. My breath quickened as he moved his mouth next to my ear. “Thank you for knowing me,” he whispered, resting his forehead against my temple. His rapid breaths tickled the side of my cheek and chest. Goosebumps sped over my arms.

His body was still as if he were a petrified piece of grymwood. I angled my head so our brows touched, swallowing as heat spread from my belly to my chest. My dress slid down one shoulder, and I shivered as it whispered against my skin.

His eyes were closed. I squeezed mine shut, willing my heart, mind, and body to stop battling and reach a unified decision.

Don’t do it, Seryn . The last bit of my resolve put up a fight, but I was tired of listening. Tired of thinking. Exhausted by my relentless daydreams about him.

If only the Fates knew our future, I might as well buckle up and enjoy the ride while it lasted.

I wanted this .

To give myself to Kaden, break into a million pieces, and put myself back together afterward—a new woman.

I drew in a sharp breath, my eyelids flying open. His green gaze burned into mine as he licked his lips, pressing his fingers into my shoulder, branding me.

He began to pull away, but my hands whipped out, fingers burrowing into his messy waves.

His knowing smirk undid me, his dimple taunting me.

“Bloody void,” I muttered before crashing my lips against his.

He grunted at the impact, his other hand gripping my waist. His mouth moved with mine, his tongue prodding at the seam of my lips. I parted them, my tongue dancing with his as it slipped inside.

A tingling warmth rocketed down my spine. All at once, I couldn’t get close enough to him. I moaned, shifting to my knees and straddling his thighs.

We tasted each other—our lips, teeth, and tongues melding and clashing. Shifting. Nipping. Pressing into one another.

As my heart slammed into my ribs, I pulled away, catching my breath. We stared at each other, panting, our breaths merging between us. I rested my hands on his chest as it rose and fell.

His eyes were glazed, a look of awe and raw desire swimming in them. His aura was softly glowing around him now, mixing with the dusky shades of violet and indigo settling over the forest. Twinkling fireflies fluttered around us like sparks of ember.

His huge hands grasped my waist, embracing my curves. He slid his palms over my stomach, fanning his fingers over my ribcage, under my breasts, and then to my back.

My head lolled to one side, tangled curls falling over my shoulder. A slight smile tipped one corner of my lips as I ran my hands over his chest and taut biceps. I leaned forward, kissing his dimple before moving back again.

He skimmed one hand beneath my breast, his thumb drawing circles on the underside of it.

My hips had a mind of their own as they rocked back and forth against his thighs. If I didn’t quell the pulsing throb between mine, I’d go mad.

I bit my bottom lip. “What did I tell you about biting your lip, Ms. Vawn?” Kaden moaned.

He gripped my thigh with one hand, stilling my hips. His other hand crept upward, cupping the underside of my breast, his thumb now sweeping precariously close to my nipple, teasing me.

I dragged my teeth over my lip before releasing it and leaning into him. “I guess I’m making you a liar, Mr. Larkin.”

A low growl vibrated in his throat as his fingers sunk into my hips, pulling me toward him. My core was fully seated against his erection, the skirt of my dress pushed high up my thighs. His breeches were straining, and his desire was clear.

It made me feel powerful.

Craved.

He smirked before swiftly wrapping his plump lips around the straining bud he’d taunted, sucking and licking it through my dress. I moaned without thinking, the sensation overwhelming.

Scorching tingles zipped from my nape to my belly. Liquid heat pooled at my apex. I rocked against him, and our groans mingled, vibrating against my sensitive skin.

Frantically, I grabbed his tunic, shoving it off his body and throwing it to the side of the tree. His hands ran down my shoulders, pushing my dress down so it hung across the top of my breasts.

My hands glided over his chest, relishing the feel of heated skin over chiseled muscle. I bent forward, nipping and kissing the side of his neck. He tangled his fingers in my hair, gently pulling on the strands when my hand neared the tie of his trousers.

“Wait,” he croaked, scrunching his forehead. “I need …” He paused and took a deep breath, sliding his hands to cradle my throat. “I can’t believe I’m the voice of reason right now … but we won’t remember this after the Dormancy. Are you sure you want this?” His brows furrowed, his lips pressing inward.

“I know,” I whispered, hooking my hands on his wrists. “I want this. I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ll take whatever moments we can get.”

Kaden let out a relieved breath, looking down. His eyes met mine once more, green flashing within them. “Lie back.” He slid his thumb across my bottom lip.

I smiled, slipping from his lap and resting on the cushioned moss. He knelt in front of me, looking at me in reverence.

He placed his hands on my knees. “Open for me.”

My legs obeyed, and he stroked his hands along my inner thighs until he reached my underwear. After hooking his hands under the soft fabric, he paused, looking at me for approval. I nodded, resting my hands on my chest.

Slowly, he pulled my undergarment down my legs, his calloused fingers grazing my skin. I shivered, the cool air and his intense gaze skimming my bare womanhood.

He crawled toward me like a prowling beast, settling his face right near the juncture of my thighs. My breathing sped up, my fingers toying with the fabric covering my chest, grazing over my tender nipples.

“You’re magnificent,” Kaden murmured, his eyes shining. “I’ve thought about you—like this—for a long time.” He looked at me under heavy eyelids, his pupils dilating. His tongue swept over his bottom lip. Without breaking eye contact, he lowered his mouth to my sex.

“Already so wet. What have I done to deserve such a gift?”

“Kade—”

His warm breath blew over my core, swollen with need, and I gasped at the sensation. He grinned and then licked me, through my center to the pulsing nub at the apex of my thighs. A feverish current blazed up my spine.

My hips squirmed, chasing relief. He wrapped one hand around me, nestling his cheek against my inner thigh. His lips sucked on my aching bud, nipping and licking it in circles. Back and forth. Up and down.

A building frenzy was swirling within me. I needed release.

I needed.

Needed .

He replaced his tongue with his thumb, rubbing in circles, flicking. He brought his tongue to my center, lapping and thrusting in and out at the same pace as his thumb. His other fingertips squeezed the round curve of my hip and bottom.

A throaty moan rumbled through me, my eyes rolling back. Tingling heat exploded through my every limb, every joint, condensing into my core. I sucked in a deep breath as if I couldn’t get enough air and cried, “Kade!”

His mouth sucked one last time, pulling firmly on the throbbing bundle, and I shattered. My climax washed over me, tremors rocking through my body.

As my mind fluttered into awareness, my legs splayed limply, lying on the dewy moss. Kaden rested his head on my inner thigh, one arm under it, wrapping around my hip. His hand spread across my ribs. His other tenderly stroking over my mound and belly.

We lay there in silence, my entire being sated. My fingers played with the ends of his dark strands as his aura evaporated into the night air.

The leaves and vines swayed and rustled above us, the fireflies languidly floating around. I sighed in contentment, a giggle surging from me.

“By the Ancients, I didn’t realize you were so talented.”

A rumbling laugh left him, vibrating through my thigh. “I would never dream of keeping such a skill from you.” He sat up, unwinding himself from my legs before plucking up my underwear.

“Wait, what about you?” I propped myself on my elbows, a playful pout dropping my bottom lip.

“Tonight was for you,” he murmured, his tone sincere as he helped slide my undergarment back in place.

I sat up, reaching for his breeches, still straining from his hard length. He brushed my hand aside and grasped my hands, pulling me upright.

“Now, now. We’ll have plenty of time. Besides, I’ve waited this long. I can wait a little more.” He adjusted his cock within his trousers. “I’ll have plenty of dreams to keep me company tonight.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pushing his lips firmly against mine once more. I blushed, tasting myself on him.

He righted my dress, kissing my collarbone, groaning as he lifted his head reluctantly.

His hand found mine, and we walked back to the palace, our strides buoyant.

I was filled with buzzing energy as if I were made entirely of phosphorescence.

At my door, we kissed each other goodnight, our faces beaming when he finally released me.

I watched him from my doorframe as he went inside his, winking before closing his door.

A cough came from behind me, and I squeaked.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Gavrel grumbled deeply.

My cheeks flushed. I wondered how much he’d seen. Had Kaden known Gavrel was there? We hadn’t done anything wrong, but a strange ache sat solidly in my gut, nonetheless.

He pushed open his door, his hand affixed to the rippling pewter. He turned his head to the side, not fully facing me. Staring blankly at my feet, his shoulders sagged as if he carried something heavier than the sword upon his back.

“Sleep well, Asteria,” he murmured. Then he moved into his room, closing the door with a firm click.