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Clarissa

“ I see you’ve found my favorite hiding spot,” Thorne said from behind me.

I craned my neck to watch him climb through the trap door of the secluded rooftop, a little sanctuary tucked away between two of the taller towers on the west side of the palace.

“Katrine told me about it.” I turned my attention back to the view in front of me. “I think she knew I needed to get away.”

When I’d found her in the servants’ wing and told her the news about Devora, she’d broken down crying.

I knew they were like sisters, after having worked at Reaux Mansion and then the palace together.

I wasn’t the only one who’d been affected by her betrayal.

And now Devora was being carted off to a different land, with no telling if she’d ever set foot on Mysthelm soil again.

We faced the sunset, its orange and pink glow casting the palm trees and winding, sandy roads of the North Territory in a golden hue.

A light breeze rifled through my hair and the plain tunic I’d changed into as soon as I could get out of that wedding dress.

I sat with my knees tucked into my chest, my arms wrapped tight around them, breathing in the evening air.

“I used to hide here all the time when Galen and I played hide-and-seek,” Thorne admitted. “Found it by accident when I tripped and ripped the tapestry covering the stairs to get up here.” His voice softened. “Galen never found it. I won every time.”

Guilt needled beneath my ribs. His best friend was dead .

And while I’d argued for my innocence, part of me couldn’t help but wonder…

had I killed him? Something in the curse broke and consumed him when I’d kissed him.

When the marriage was sealed. If I hadn’t gone through with it, he’d still be alive.

Did Thorne blame me? I was the reason his best friend was gone, the reason his mother was behind bars, and everything he’d known had been torn from him. Dread and fear trickled down my chest and into my stomach like hot wax.

I pulled my knees in further. “Thorne, I—I’m so sorry.” My words came out a whisper. “I don’t know what to say. This is all my fault. He’s dead because of me, and I?—”

“No, no—Clarissa, this is not your fault.” He strode to my side and fell to his knees before me, cupping my face in his hands. His body blocked the sunset. His shadow consumed me, blanketing me in his steady presence, a cool reprieve from the anxiety curdling in my gut.

He gently stroked away a tear I didn’t even know had fallen. “You went into that wedding wanting to break his curse. To save him and our entire kingdom, no matter what the cost. This was all some twisted game of the Fates. There was nothing you could have done.”

I swallowed and nodded, sniffing back more tears. His gaze fell to my neck and the faint red scratches that hadn’t yet healed from the rope rubbing against it. Slowly, he moved his thumb to graze along the raised skin, and I closed my eyes.

“I’m sorry too,” he said. “For what my mother put you through. When I saw you up there, when I thought—” He cut himself off, his voice low and raspy.

Pressure built in my chest, my lungs, my throat.

“I thought you were gone. I thought I’d lost you.

I would have done anything to take your place, Clarissa.

” He dropped his forehead to mine, and I let my knees fall so he could lean in closer.

“ I would rather die a thousand deaths than watch a single moment of your suffering.”

I sucked in a shaky breath as another tear fell, landing on the space of roof between us. A rush of humid wind blew across the side of the palace. Our long hair twisted and twined around us, blonde against dark brown.

“So, I guess you sort of love me,” I whispered.

He kissed my forehead, and his small smile pressed into my skin. “Ah, you heard that part, did you?”

“It must have slipped out.”

I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you tried to kill the woman I love.

Time had frozen in that moment. Just for a second. Amidst the chaos and outrage and secrets, my heart soared.

He pulled away and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Before I met you, I thought I was happy. As happy as this life could make me, at least. Marigold was my sun. She was all I ever needed in a world full of gray. I smiled when I was supposed to smile, went where I was supposed to go, checked my duties off an ever-growing list. I didn’t want anything more for myself.

I’d wanted enough in my past life, and I hadn’t been able to hold on to what it had given me. ”

He gave a subtle shake of his head, his brow pinching as if thinking through his words.

“And here you come, beauty and grace and strength all bottled into this fiery, stubborn woman, and I wanted . I wanted your resolve and conviction. I wanted your heart of gold, your ability to give such light and magic to the world. I wanted you .”

His blue eyes searched mine with an intensity that made my breath catch in my throat. “From the moment I saw you, I knew I couldn’t have you. But I wanted you anyway. I wanted to be a better man because of you. For my daughter, for my kingdom, and for myself .”

His hand shifted to the back of my neck.

“You bring life to everything you touch, Clarissa. Not just with your magic. With your compassion . With your selflessness. How could I not love you?” He brought his other hand up to graze my jaw, my lips, my cheek.

“All that you are is all I have never let myself want before. And I am desperately, deeply, maddeningly in love with you.”

I couldn’t even try to stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks.

I turned my neck to tuck my face into his hand, kissing his palm and tasting my own salty tears.

It was too much. What he saw in me was too much—it made my heart swell to the point of bursting, made me want to cover the strong emotions I’d learned to chase away under pressure.

“Don’t you dare,” he whispered, leaning in so close that his lips skimmed the top of my cheek. “Don’t hide from me, Empress.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re quite the romantic?”

That same smile melted along my skin again. “Someone might have mentioned it before.”

I pulled back so I could see him. That rough, tan skin, that dark beard that felt so good against me, those eyes that swallowed me whole.

“I told you once I wished I was like that,” I said.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever stop being bound by my duty.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had people I needed to look out for.

People who relied on me. It always felt like one small mistake and so many people could get hurt.

I think I stopped caring about whether I got hurt in the process.

It’s like you said—I thought I was happy.

If those I loved were happy and taken care of, I had no reason not to be.

” I let out a small laugh. “You know, you’re not the first one to call me out on that. ”

He chuckled, and the sound burrowed into my chest. “My stubborn girl.”

“But you’re the first one I heard ,” I said, my smile faltering as I swallowed thickly.

“You’re the first one who made me realize what I was missing.

” A breath left me in a rush, and the words spilled out.

“Fates, I wanted you too. I think I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

And knowing I couldn’t have you, the one selfish thing I’d finally allowed myself, was just another part of my duty to accept.

Things have changed, but our lives…they’re just too different.

That hasn’t changed.” My eyes darted around him.

“We live an ocean apart. I—I don’t know where to go from here.

After everything that’s happened, I just?—”

Thorne dug his thumb into the back of my neck to cut me off, making me look up at him. I stared into those eyes that had become both my sanctuary and my downfall.

“I’ve never been in love, Thorne,” I whispered. “I don’t know what we’re supposed to do.”

He leaned in to brush his lips over my cheek, then slowly captured my mouth with his.

I instantly felt a weight lifting from my shoulders as I rose onto my knees to deepen the kiss.

I’d kissed him before, but this time felt…

freer. Like it was something beautiful given to us, instead of a moment we had to steal.

“Do you love me?” he breathed into me.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation.

“Then we’ll figure it out. Together.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, angling my body to press further into him, molding my curves to his hard planes. His hands grasped my waist and pulled me closer. Warm fingers lifted the edges of my shirt and traveled over my skin, making my stomach tighten with every passing second.

In that moment, I saw my future laid out before me.

It was the future I’d always planned for, yes. Meetings with my council, drinks at the Drakin’s Lair with Chaz and Lark, arguments with Lord Stryker over taxes and land permits, signing decrees at my father’s old desk. But for the first time…it was more than that.

It was early mornings with Thorne’s skin pressed into mine.

Late nights and a little girl tucked between our arms. Deep laughter that made my toes curl, grinning faces peering at me over stacks of paperwork.

Smirks and bright eyes and warm, rough hands.

Dancing in the kitchen with nobody around, like my parents used to do in our cottage.

Those little stolen glances in a crowded room that say “ you’re mine . ”

I wanted that. I wanted all of it. My empire and my happily ever after.

“Come with me,” I said.

His hands paused on my abdomen. “What?”

“You and Marigold. Come with me.” I kissed him again. “Back to the empire.”

He jerked backward onto his heels, then rose to his feet, his lips parting. “Are you serious?”

Heat flooded my cheeks as I stood and dusted off my leggings.

“Well, I mean—only if you want to. You can say no.” I never made these rash decisions.

Embarrassment made my words stammer, tumbling over one another.

“I know that’s a lot to ask. We can talk about it first, how everything would work, but I?—”

Seizing my waist, he lifted me in the air and spun me in his arms. “Tell me to run, and I’ll run.

Tell me to stand at your side, and I’ll stand.

Wherever, whenever you want me. Haven’t you figured that out by now?

” He stopped moving and tilted his head to the side, his nose grazing mine.

“I’ve been yours since the day you stepped off that ship, Clarissa. ”

A beam broke out across my face. We were both breathless, our chests heaving against one another as my hair flowed down his cheek and neck, cocooning us in our own little world.

“So, is that yes?” I asked.

His answering smile rivaled the setting sun. “That’s a yes for me, Empress. But there’s someone I need to talk to first.”