Page 21

I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME

SERYN

T he power between my palms wobbled, and I grimaced.

My heart smacked against my ribs, more with frustration than fear.

Practicing under the Augur’s continual guidance had consumed the last fortnight.

Had I made progress? I believed so. More than I had when I’d worked with it during the last Dormancy, to be sure.

The twirling, prismatic orb whirred and hummed, and, in response, I huffed. I’d rather be honing my dagger-tossing skills. At least I could do something well.

My thoughts meandered to the times over the last few days when Gavrel and I had practiced. I bit my bottom lip, imagining his warm body behind my back. His thick arm lay upon mine as he adjusted my wrist before I let the blade fly dead center into the heart of whichever doombark I was aiming for.

I jerked my head, trying to dislodge the wayward curls tickling my cheeks. What was the point of a damned braid if my hair always escaped it? My mouth scrunched to one side, and I blew a puff of air at the stubborn strand .

My power buzzed irritably, bringing my focus back to my weaving fingers.

There were plenty of places to toss my uncontrolled creations safely.

But I was sick of wasting everyone’s time.

Tired of my energy snapping at the bit I placed between its teeth.

I looked over, and another blasted toad was gawking at me. Hop along, you judgey bunghole.

Or maybe it thought I was its brethren, since greenish mucksap was slathered over my exposed skin. Trying to nip me through the liniment, the annoying little bugs were excessive today. I glared at the amphibian. Do your job and eat these little fuckers.

“Child.” The Augur slapped at the air from her porch, and my flailing ember orb zipped from my fingers and into the water several feet behind the toad. The ensuing explosion startled him, and he croaked irritably before diving into the murk.

“Concentrate.”

“I am .”

She frowned, her wrinkles drooping over her gaunt cheekbones. Her bony fingers steepled in front of her mouth. “You and your ember are one and the same.”

“That’s what you’ve said,” I mumbled.

“Then believe it. Otherwise, it’ll continue to overpower you. Continue whispering its basest hunger in your ears.” Her displeasure pulled the corners of her mouth further, and she hobbled into her hut while throwing her hands into the air.

Mockingly, the colorful wildlife painted all over the boards of her home stared at me. My shoulders slumped as I climbed atop the porch and sat beside Gavrel. I turned to him, sensing his eyes on me.

His brows lifted as he tucked a loose strand behind my ear. The deep green of his eyes shone boldly from his mucksap-covered face. “What do you feel when your ember takes over?”

My bottom lip pushed into the top one as I looked at the chalky sky. “I don’t know.”

“Try.”

My cheeks puffed out as I released a frustrated exhale. I looked at my fists clenched in my lap. Uncurling my fingers, I swiped my thumbs over the base of each forefinger.

From the corner of my eye, Gavrel pressed his lips together for a moment as he waited patiently. The man had a bottomless well of perseverance.

I sighed. “Fear. Doubt. Rage.”

He nodded. “And your meditations work. Until they don’t.”

“Until they don’t,” I agreed. “I’m failing. Kaden. You. Me.” I dug my nails into my thighs. “Everyone.”

He covered my hand with his left, and my fingers relaxed. “You’re not a failure. You’ve made plenty of strides. I wonder what would happen if you simply gave in to your ability. Communed with it rather than trying to fight it.”

A half-laugh, half-huff burst from my lips. “I tried that during the trials, and look where that got me.”

“You said you felt rage and fear. But the moment doubt sinks in is when it all falls apart. I’ve seen it in your eyes.

In Surrelia. Here.” I looked at him then.

The crease between his brows deepened. “It isn’t something to chain or run away from.

It’s something to embrace. To partner with.

It’s … it’s you . And that’s more than enough.

” My chin dipped, but his right hand cupped it and gently pushed my head up. “You are more than enough.”

As his hand fell, my pulse sped up, and my nape tingled at his words. Was he right? Was I so terrified of what I’d done and what I might become that I was holding myself back?

He leaned into me. “You’ll master this.”

The Augur returned, settling herself in the creaky rocking chair. “Indeed, you will. Now, get up and try once more. The Fates wait for no one.” Her invisible ember poked me in the side. Gavrel’s other hand left mine, and I sighed, rising to my feet and jumping onto a nearby hummock.

Sometimes I wondered what her aura looked like. So far, she was the only Druik I couldn’t get a read on.

She must be absurdly powerful. And disciplined … And, therefore, pull yo ur shit together and put your big girl breeches on, Seryn, I scolded myself. This was not the time for self-pity.

Widening my stance, I closed my eyes, concentrating on the vibrations within. I am you, and you are me. My scar buzzed on my nape. Gavrel’s words brushed over me. You’re more than enough.

With a deep exhale, I freed my ability.

I am you.

Let it flow over me.

And you are me.

I meditated, repeating my new mantra over and over until I believed it. Until my ember believed it.

I’m not sure how long I stood there as the world around me slipped away. But I felt the moment my ember and I reached one accord.

With a calm heart and even breath, my energy glided over my flesh and flowed through my sinews. It usually burned when it did so, demanding that its needs be fulfilled. Ignoring me in its quest for satiation. Yet, now its heat soothed, like a honey salve slipping down a sore throat.

I am you, and you are me, it whispered back.

We were one.

My eyelashes fluttered open, and I ignored the wetness lining them.

The Augur grinned, and a look of wonder lifted Gavrel’s forehead as he gripped his baldric, his knuckles pale.

“Well done.” With effort, she rose and shuffled to her door.

“Oh, and Belladonna.” She paused, poking her crooked finger in the air, eyes going glassy for a moment.

My heart fluttered. I leaned toward her. “Are you … are you all right?”

A spark of tarnished gold flit over her pupils as they snapped to me. I jolted, and her lips curved, pushing into the creases lining her cheeks and eyes. “The Budding Moon is nigh, and the Fates are pleased.” She waved a bent hand at us. “Off you go. ”

Gavrel’s shoulders tensed, and I rolled my eyes, brushing my fingers under my lashes and tucking away my aura.

Another dismissal served with a side of cryptic declarations.

What an Ancients-damned delight.

The next afternoon, Gavrel sat at the edge of the Augur’s porch, his long legs dangling above the water as he shouted clipped instructions at me. “Keep it up … Eyes ahead.” He stood, not one to rest for long, especially when barking orders. “You need to prune your power by feel, not sight.”

“How about I prune you?” I glared at him, and the handsome bastard grinned.

Funny how he smiled the widest when bossing me around. My huff ended on a squeak as my leg muscles shifted. The hummock I stood upon wobbled with the prismatic, embered blob swirling between my palms.

For Surrelia’s sake.

Steadying myself, and relieved the mossy knoll would not crumble, I spread my toes within my boots and planted my feet on its spongy surface. My hips adjusted, and I stacked my weight over my knees and exhaled my held breath.

I am you, and you are me , I thought over and over until my heart slowed and pulsed in time with my aura. Energy caressed my skin, purring. My eyes fixed on a gnarled tree in the distance.

“That’s it, child. Commune with your gift. You are one and the same,” the Augur called as she came out from her home and sat on the rocking chair.

I nodded, focusing on the sensation of my ember rippling under and over my flesh, the waves beginning at my neck and pushing outwards along each extremity.

“Splendid. Now guide it.” She rocked forward, and I glanced at her. Her forehead raised, pushing into her pale hairline .

My lips pressed together, and I prodded my power down my arms, through the glowing bough patterns, and into my palms. My fingers weaved the sparkling light into a spinning orb.

Gavrel’s rune lit up. Its energy tugged at my ribs, knotting around them.

Mine , my ember growled.

I breathed in.

I am you.

Breathed out.

You are me.

The coiling sphere kept its shape and grew, my arms widening to accommodate it. My focus flicked to the Augur, eyebrows lifting.

My body thrummed with frenzied energy, little sparks plucking and popping within every inch of me. With my eyes tightly shut, I focused on channeling my power so it wouldn’t burn me alive. Cresting waves of iridescence leaked from my palms and fingers.

A darkened space formed in the center of my orb, its blackness slurping in the glittering light around it. It looked like stars being rapidly pulled into the void, much like water twirling and disappearing down a drain.

My mouth dropped open, and the line between Gavrel’s eyebrows was quite severe.

The Augur lurched out of her chair. “Enough. Call it back,” she ordered. My knees wobbled at her sharp tone, and I willed my energy to sink within, become a part of me once more.

The orb fizzled and unraveled into nothingness. My aura melted away. I flexed my fingers before rubbing them on my breeches.

A wide grin spread across my lips as I hopped onto the porch.

“You’re incredible,” Gavrel said, lifting me by the waist and spinning me around. I giggled and braced my hands on his shoulders. He set me down, clasping his hands behind his neck with a look of awe on his face. “Truly.”

“You’ll practice more tomorrow, but the boy is right. Progress deserves a cuppa.” She hobbled into her hut and poured us each some tea .

“I’m pleased with you, Belladonna.” She sipped from her cup and closed her eyes, savoring it. “As are the Fates.” The corners of her eyes crinkled as she opened her eyes and studied me. Her elbow perched on the edge of the table, the lifted teacup hiding the coy smile I knew was there.

I snorted. Over the last several weeks, all the talks of the three prophetic sisters and their predictions disillusioned me.

“So you’ve mentioned. Where were the Fates when the Withering cursed Midst Fall?

Where were they when our loved ones were taken from us?

When the Elders abused countless souls?”

Her cup clinked against the tabletop. She was most definitely not smiling. “Do not confuse my generosity with a willingness to accept such disrespect. It is not for us to understand the schemes of the Fates. But we must strive to navigate the road laid before us, no matter how obscured in shadow.”

Chin dipping, bitter resignation coated my tongue. “Apologies.”

The corners of her mouth curled. “I am quite close with the Fates, you see.”

I nodded as if I believed her, and Gavrel’s countenance maintained a look of impressive indifference.

Reclining, she clasped her hands, resting them on her stomach. With a faraway look, she stared off into the distance as if she could see through to the bogs outside her walls.

Damn me all the way to the void. She was settling in to rattle off a story that would prove her point.

“Long ago, there were two brothers. Quite different in every way, but close when they were young. Their father doted on his eldest son and his gifts. Bitterness festered within the younger one.”

Gavrel shifted in his chair, his tongue pressing at the inside of his cheek. I leaned forward, bending slightly as I placed my forearms on the table and steepled my fingers against the wood.

“As they grew older and more powerful, they didn’t take heed of the Fates’ warnings.

Their prophecy of a child who’d have the ability to take what they held most dear—their gift turned against the Ancients.

They were too enamored with the roles they had to play.

And they were tested. One was too trusting. The other too covetous.

“If they’d have respected their oracles and the divinations that were revealed, they’d have been on different paths.

The Fates don’t take kindly to complete disregard.

” She glanced at me and then at Gavrel with a raised brow.

“Thus, one brother’s jealousy destroyed the other, and will most certainly carry him to his demise.

The other brother suffered for a long while, and it’s yet to be seen if that will end. ”

With wide eyes, I gulped. “All right. Thank you for the … the lesson and the tea.” I emptied my cup and stood. “May the Fates have mercy on us all.”

“Only time will tell.” And with that, she waved us off.