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GAVREL ~ TWO TURNS AGO: AUTUMN

“ W hat do you mean, this was a mistake?” Seryn’s bottom lip wobbled before she tucked it under her front teeth, pressing the bright enamel into the plump skin. I swallowed a groan before it escaped.

Her hands dropped from my chest. The chilled autumn air scurried over the space they had occupied, the warmth from her touch obliterated.

My hands itched to reach out and gather her to me.

Never let her go. I dug my short nails into them, the bite of pain a welcome reminder of what an absolute failure I was.

I looked above at the thick grymwood canopy. Mottled beams of light stabbed through the brambly crown. Perhaps one of the massive, decaying trees would collapse on me, its grizzled trunk smashing my brains to pieces. Eyelids scrunching tightly, a deep exhale left me. My nostrils flared in disgust.

I scraped my fingers through my trimmed, dark waves, the strands tugging at my scalp irritably as I dragged my gaze over her distressed face .

My cock stirred at the memory of her soft mouth on mine, pink and wet. Appalled at myself, I squinted, molars clenching.

Pull yourself together.

Her eyes glistened like the color of frost floating atop the vivid blue waters of the Oneiroi Abyss. I would gladly drown in their depths, and at this very moment, I would deserve it.

Fucking idiot.

Lurching, my heart punched the back of my ribs. Straining toward her as if ready to tear itself from me and latch onto her. If I could do just that, I would. There was no other choice but to break her, though.

Break myself .

We’d had a few perfect months. From this spring until now, I’d spun in her orbit while reality sank its teeth into me, gnawing at my logic until I could no longer ignore its bite.

If I weren’t a bleeding moron with no self-control, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I wouldn’t have to split us in two.

Wouldn’t have to lie.

Lie until she believed I didn’t want her.

Until she loathed me.

When we were younger, Kaden, Seryn, and I would often journey north to Oleander Cove right before summer’s end. The frigid pool beckoned us, its azure waves lapping at the pebbled shore.

Every single time, Seryn would kick off her leather slippers and squeal as she ran, laughing and hiking up her dress. Dead grym needles hid among the stones, most definitely piercing the pads of her feet, but she never cared as she tore into the surf.

The sun would skim over her auburn curls as she twirled, setting its gleaming strands aflame. A satisfied, gleeful smile would bend across her mouth as she splashed Kaden, who was no doubt at her heels.

My brother was never far from her side.

An aching twinge coursed through my teeth as the enamel ground together. I turned my attention away from her unbearably beautiful face. Hatred oozed over me like thick, warm blood coating my skin .

If she cared for me like I did her, what I had to do next would surely sever any budding feelings.

Kaden will be pleased . My chin dropped, a growled huff falling from my lips.

“Gavrel?” Her soft plea snapped my attention back.

If I told her everything—about the danger she was in—she would no doubt scoff at my concern, thinking we could face whatever lay ahead together.

But Melina would destroy her if we were found out, and I couldn’t allow the Elder to harm her in the same way she’d harmed the others. It was unacceptable.

The leather of my boots creaked as I widened my stance. My emerald eyes bored into hers, plummeting into their depths. I had to get this over with. Otherwise, her tears would drown me. Flood over the wall of numbness I’d built around the hammering muscle within my chest.

“This …” My hand waved between us, steady when my insides were anything but.

“… it can’t go on. I apologize if you thought this was more than it is, and for my part in leading you astray.

” My jaw was so tight, every word was going to rip it off at the hinges as I cut through the thread connecting us.

Torn in two, my heart heaved. Could she feel the pain slicing through my very soul?

She stepped back, her chest rising and falling rapidly, nails digging into the fabric across her chest. Disoriented, her eyes widened, and she blinked a few times as if waking from a dream. Her lashes swept closed, trapping the line of salty tears beneath.

A sweet-smelling breeze fluttered through her curls. Burning acid frothed inside my guts. The sun stroked her strands as the scent of astra poppies slapped across the angular ridges of my face.

Against my will, my boots shifted forward, hand gravitating toward her.

Seryn opened her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose. Resignation settled into the straight line of her mouth. My hand dropped, following her clipped words as they fell heavy at my feet. “Well, I suppose there’s nothing left to say.”

Without another glance, she spun, marching toward her cottage through the grymwoods, their branches arching over—claw-like twigs reaching for her greedily. The flames of her hair flickered at her back and shoulders, consuming her.

Consuming us both .

But it didn’t fucking matter.

I had already cremated my own heart.

Cold, black ash was all that remained.