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Chapter 18

Aaliyah

E ach memory I had stemmed from an instance of déjà vu. A scent that brushed against the air, hinting at a perfume I knew I'd smelled before. A facial expression that twisted just a bit too much like my father's lips when he used to catch me sneaking cookies at night.

The way I moved or the way my body ached when I did, scars constantly reminding me there was more horror to relive.

Memories were consistent that way, and I'd grown rather good at noticing when I was in one. Which was why I was so confused when I opened my eyes.

I wasn't at Ascension, strapped to a cool steel table with Castillion leering down at me, or in my childhood home, with checkered walls and white tiles that would always be red in my mind.

No, I was in a room of rolling silver, and an endless obsidian sky … The Void. It was breathlessly silent as a scene that didn't quite register as real played out in front of me.

My mother lay over a body that was unmoving, my father's pale skin seeming ashen in the dull, colorless light.

She pressed her ear to his chest, sobbing when it didn't rise.

"I remember this day," a voice called, echoing as if it had come from everywhere. My mother didn't hear it, still pressed over my father as I jolted, rushing to cover my ears, jerking my head away from the scene.

The air behind me wobbled, as though it was nothing more than water, the sky above seeming to melt as it dripped to the floor in inky black splashes. The Void recoiled, enough to make me turn fully, stepping away as the hair on the back of my neck rose. Slowly, as if parting, those mounds of black took shape, one my brain didn't fully register as a person as the need to run made my legs tense.

Some people had an air about them, one that warned you to keep your distance. Whoever this man was, from the way he towered over me yet kept his posture relaxed to the soft glow that hugged his snow-white skin, had that uncanny air. He radiated light in a place where darkness lingered, watching me curiously, with two of his four arms crossed behind his back, the lower two pressed palm side down against each other over his abdomen. His head, mostly human shaped, ended in familiarity there. A halo of light extended above it, made from the two horns that poked from his skull, connecting again at the tips. He had no defining features beyond that. The eyes I was expecting to see were instead strewn about the large white wings that stretched almost ominously from his back.

My soul wavered in my chest, and the Void seemed to actively avoid him. The shadows slipped away, the ground of silver solidifying beneath his feet, while it remained fluid under mine.

There was something about him, a nagging feeling in my head telling me I'd seen him before.

"Call me Davi," he whispered, his voice echoing again, this time with a hint of mirth.

Maybe that was why I didn't panic when he continued to stare, his head tipping to the side as he studied me, his wings fluttering as the eyes on it blinked lazily. I didn't feel dug into, like he was on the other side of the glass at Ascension, but rather, like he was curious.

Genuinely curious.

"She first came here after Arvand was struck down by Escandric. She tried to save him, give him a part of her soul so he may continue to live," he said, abruptly, turning his head toward my mother. "Come, watch with me."

A strained few seconds passed, filled only with the sound of her sobs, something that had been blotted out before. I hesitated, feeling like it was a mistake to give this man my back, something he seemed to notice as he walked forward, not pausing when I tensed, moving so my only option was to follow him, until my parents came into view again.

My mother's head still laid against my father's unmoving chest. She clutched his shirt, which turned to ash in her hands, the burn marks on his body suddenly glaringly visible. Her eyes shadowed over, the ones underneath her seeming to take notice as they stretched a little further across the floor.

Then she spoke, the words muddled and lost to translation, almost like Eliza's when she used her Siren's Call to coerce people into doing her bidding. Except, I knew them, somehow. Understood their meaning in the depths of my soul, even if it sounded barely more than gibberish. A shudder went down my spine at the thought of them from my own lips, and suddenly it was as if I were in the forest again.

The warmth of a hot spring at my back, Prince's eyes going dull for the last time before he faded away under my touch. The voice that had become a nightmare to me, one that still whispered in my ear, like the devil on my shoulder.

My mother spoke the same words I had to Prince, that wicked voice hers now, too. She whispered them until she went hoarse, and tears filled her eyes, the shadows in them dropping away as blood took their place. Her skin split, breaking open as she sucked in gasping breaths. She covered the open wounds with her hands until they healed, just to watch them split again.

I was too afraid to move, to breathe and risk breaking her concentration, even in this dream. Another gut-wrenching scream slipped out of her before my father's eyes shot open.

I released a breath, realizing the numbness in my hands was from how tightly I'd clenched them.

"One could not be without the other. She tied herself to him, bound their lives. She was the first to mend souls, the first to bring someone back that had fallen to death's call," Davi said, as his wings spread out wide, the rustling drawing my attention.

The scene of my mother faded, leaving us alone in the Void. I could feel the ache where my nails had dug into my palms, and my senses were sharp enough to catch the hint of iron in the air. Whatever this was, a dream or an illusion … I saw it because Davi wanted me to. I clutched my chest, letting out a shaky breath when he continued to watch me, waiting for a response I didn't think I had it in me to give.

"This isn't one of my memories," I said, struggling to find my voice in a place where it normally didn't exist, surprised when his head tipped back and a laugh filled the Void. "I don't know why you'd show me this."

The sound echoed again, and he sank to the floor gracelessly, crossing his legs as he planted his chin in his palm. His wings went almost lax behind him, before tucking close to his back, only the eyes at the bend at the top, staying open.

"Than said you were direct," he hummed, as if bonding us over an inside joke, and I racked my brain, searching for the name I was sure I hadn't heard before. "This is your memory, though. Isn't it?"

I looked around again, chewing on my lip until I tasted blood. I could feel the Void, just like every other time, but there wasn't a feeling of urgency to leave or the gentle pluck against my soul to check if I was dead. I wasn't watching like a guest in my own thoughts. I tried to recall the scene again, my mother over my father …

My memory. One I was too small to remember.

"Are you saying she's pregnant with me? But that doesn't make sense."

Only silence, before a buzz started in the air. Davi lifted his hand, and even from sitting on the ground, it reached several inches above my head. Sharp talons lined the end of his fingers. The sky slowly crawled down until it was sliding through them, liquid onyx. "Doesn't it?"

The testing pressure of the Void was closer now because of it, and I shivered as it poked at me. The familiar touch made my stomach twist.

"Unless this was a long time ago," I whispered.

All of his eyes were on me as the halo above his head glowed, pulsing to the beat of his wings as they lifted him to his feet again. I struggled to find ones to look at as his head tilted to the side. "The Void should have killed you, especially with only part of a soul. It almost did. Keep watching."

Just as before, a scene faded into view, my mother appearing with a bundle in her arms. One that wiggled and cried. She looked haggard, panting, with white hair stuck to clammy skin.

"That's me?" I said it more than asked, hesitatingly taking a step forward.

My mother held the bundle close, cradling the tiny infant in her arms. For a second, I could feel her warmth, get a hint of that lavender scent that had defined her and that she'd passed down to me.

"The night your mother revived your father; it claimed a piece of you she didn't realize in return. You were the soul that brought him back, a link to them, and a link to here."

She sank to the ground, holding me to her chest as Davi spoke.

"The Void claimed you, raised you, until you were strong enough to survive without it. Placed a part of itself in the little slot your missing soul left."

The silver floor morphed, and the bits of the Void that had been prodding me did so again. This time excitedly, this time lingering , like it was waiting for me to acknowledge it.

I was going to be sick.

"Are you telling me I've been alive since the Natural War?" I asked. "That I lived in the Void?"

"You should have died that night, but you didn't. Not until the Void called you home." Davi nodded, his wings tucking close as he watched me carefully. That same excitement lived in him, a subtle softness sinking into his hum. "Over three thousand years now. You are the favorite, without a doubt."

The weight of the words didn't sink in, not really. I remembered my home, being barely tall enough to reach the counters or the light switches on the checkered walls. I remembered my mother cooking on a stove and the smell of gas in the air every time she lit the pilot. Recalled walking the streets of a city with my father's cold hand in mine.

But that was it. I remembered being a child and remembered Sebek taking me. There wasn't a before that, at least not yet. And the idea of it, that my mother had brought my father back …

Could I … have done the same?

I reached for my chest, suddenly hopeful in a way I hadn't been in weeks. Prince had been sent on after I'd touched him, or … at least that was what I'd thought.

What if I hadn't killed him?

Even the thought brought warring emotions surging forward, ones I knew I couldn't afford to think about right now. I shoved it down, locked it away with the fear, to deal with later.

"But I don't remember that?" I said, uncertainty cracking the edges of my words.

"You spent most of it in the Void. Unaging, but a babe. Your mother stayed with you as much as she could, most times at the cost of her own soul," Davi said, pointing to my mother.

She twitched now, still holding the little bundle— me —close, still breathing that song that used to lull me to sleep, that whispered like a long-forgotten memory that teased the back of my mind. Tears gathered in her eyes before she set me down. She did so with trembling arms and an expression that didn't betray the agony she felt.

The dark shadows under her body stretched wide, pulling her into the floor as she sucked in a surprised breath. One moment here, the next, nothing but Void. Nothing but me.

The Void moved around my tiny body after, when I started to cry, touching my fingers as I reached up to grab it as Davi had. It played, strips of obsidian black crawling along my skin, keeping the tiny me occupied until my eyes slid closed, and I yawned.

"Don't fight the Void, Aaliyah. You risk more than your soul by doing so." Davi's words felt like a warning I couldn't afford to ignore. His posture softened again, and he reached a hand out, not quite touching as he fussed. I couldn't have missed the hint of pity there, a look that twisted his featureless face. I didn't have time to ask as he slashed his hand down, and pain shot through me like a wave. The kind I'd felt when I'd first woken in my grave.

This time, it didn't end with the sound of a voice or the scent of dirt and rain.

This time it ended on my wrist .

"Now. It's time to wake up."

I sucked in a hard breath that shattered the haze just long enough for the pain to fully register.

"What—" I started, the word ending on a coughing fit that seemed to seek out the empty spaces in my lungs, filling them with the same blood that splattered white sheets and slid over my lip to the beat of my heart. My vision went next, blurring as my breath frosted in front of me, shiver bumps lining my arms. Red's emotions were a lull, sneaking up from thin air. It was almost like he was stretching after a long nap before he recognized my panicked state. Panic that quickly swallowed rational thought. "It hurts?—"

I choked as a fear so nerve-racking that it took my breath away tore through me, fighting my own emotions as I realized that it wasn't mine. There was barely a second between that all-consuming fear … and the fracture of the bonds on my wrist, the abrupt torment leaving me clutching at my chest, gasping as sweat stuck to my skin.

The black ink that had kept me going the past few days was nothing more than a memory on the canvas of my arm. Bits and pieces of the once flowing designs scattered like stained glass across an ivory floor. Incomplete, and broken . It seared where they'd been, leaving nothing behind but scarred skin.

Coiled artistry with a gentle flow like the waves of the ocean, once rich black ink now a muddied gray. Spilled coffee grounds graced with little tea leaves that seemed to move when I covered them.

Fallon and Adrian … I couldn't feel them anymore.

Every inch of me itched, and I pushed away from the sheets, struggling to get away from them as the temperature continued to drop. They wrapped tighter, tangling in my legs, nearly dragging me to the floor as I finally freed myself.

Anxiety filled the air, then unease as Red danced over my shoulders. My feet hit cold hardwood first, the abrupt chill on the bare soles enough of a shock to clear some of the nerves that had me shutting down as I stumbled.

Breathing became painful, my eyes growing hazy until all the color in the room had faded to a sharp gray. The dim walls were bathed in dark patches of shadows, the bed tucked neatly in the corner I'd just staggered away from. The silence that followed was deafening. That silence was my answer, the one I couldn't even stand to voice.

Adrian was gone. Fallon was gone.

But that couldn't be right … there was no way I'd lost them. Not after everything I'd done to get here. I walked into Ascension; I curled up in my old cell and begged for the day I'd see them again.

I'd lain on the table of my nightmares , a needle in my skin, staring into the overhead lights that haunted memories I couldn't even begin to call real and what had it gotten me? I touched the blank spaces on my wrists, the ones that seemed to wobble, the black fraying at the edges. Only two remained now, Eirik's, which strained just as tightly, shuttering like it might well be the next to go …

And Osiris's, the only point that I had left to grasp onto as I crumbled.

Life wouldn't be so cruel as to take them away, too.

They couldn't be gone.

I reached for my chest, shivering, and gasping for a breath I had no chance of steadying. Red grew more sporadic, more intense as I stumbled forward, hitting a cold wall. My legs continued to shake, and I forced my weight into my palms to try to stay standing.

Gone. Gone.

In an instant, the chill disappeared along with the remains of fractured emotions that had clung to the air, as though lifted away. I managed a breath, my vision clearing for a moment. A hint of warmth wrapped around me next, like a cocoon, as I sagged. The gentle sparks that flashed across my skin reminded me of the Void: pressing, prodding … almost playful, and starkly familiar.

" Red ," I whispered, unsure how he was managing it and too tired to question it. He was touching me, in a way, though not fully. There was no whisper of death's uncanny call, but he was close enough that it helped me breathe.

"Grief is beneath you, child of Ra," a voice echoed behind me.

Red tensed, a ripple moving through him as I caged a cry behind closed teeth. Sebek's voice, a steady monotony, was somehow more intimidating than any threats that had ever been screamed at me at Ascension.

I covered the remains of the marks, pretending I couldn't feel them digging into the skin, pulsing as an ache continued all the way up my arm, ending in my shoulder.

"What did you do?" I whispered, steeling my nerves as I looked at him, flinching when I saw how close he was, barely a step away.

He was dressed in the same simple black suit he had been before, the white cuffs still stained a deep brownish red. The black of his hair was greasy, almost appearing wet as he held his hand out, a draping fabric slipping over his fingers. It flowed easily, with little frills along the sleeves and the long bottom of what I recognized as a dress. The sheer white of it seemed out of place, a mockery as I searched for splashes of red I was sure I'd find where he touched it.

"We're late," he said, lips twisting in a disparaging sneer.

It fluttered in his steady hand, as though affected by a soft breeze. Red lingered by it, the barest hint of a hand on the white silk, before a bitter anger filled the room. A spark flashed in the air, the only physical reaction I'd ever seen from him, enough to leave a small singe mark on the otherwise perfect fabric. He danced around me, pushing me to reach out and take it from the monster's hands, though there was no mistaking his intent.

Destroy it.

" What did you do?" I pressed again, refusing to take Sebek's offering, shrinking back when his stare turned savage, his fingers clenching until they paled.

One moment I'd have sworn I could see compassion in his gaze, the next he wouldn't even look me in the eye, as if I were so far below him it would be a chore for him to drop his chin. He didn't answer, as he looked over my shoulder.

I'd been too caught up with the burn that still sizzled at my wrist to notice the soft glow that scattered across the floor, lighting up the previously colorless tile. It stretched across the tops of my feet, ending at the black leather of Sebek's shoes. I squinted as it crept up my legs, growing brighter and more vibrant … until I looked behind me.

The light was coming from what I assumed was a window, boarded up so it couldn't get through, but there were cracks, places where it could slip by through the pale brown boards. The burning on my wrist grew into a frenzy. My body ached, the pressure that I'd hoped I'd finally escaped once again building behind my eyes.

Sebek was quiet as the understanding of his silence hit me.

He wouldn't do this. They couldn't be gone.

I'd only seen the sun rise a handful of times. It was something I'd avoided if I could, like it was bad luck to look at after so many years without it. Dread rose like bile, and I covered my mouth as my stomach sank.

I stumbled away from the window, right into a set of chilled arms, flinching as Sebek's fingers tightened on my shoulders. His eyes narrowed on the marks on my wrist, some whole and some fractured, a look of disgust crossing his face. There was nothing in his familiar red eyes, no remorse, no worry, nothing.

I jerked away, another jolt at my wrist sending a wave of pain down my spine.

"I did what you asked. I didn't run. You promised they'd be safe …" I whispered through gritted teeth, fighting the tears as the words caught in my throat, silenced by a mantra he'd started.

Never make noise.

I'd walked into Ascension Rising, laid back on the table that was as much a part of me as my scars. He promised he wouldn't hurt them, and I trusted him.

"I did nothing but allow them to fumble. Their mistakes led to their capture. Their weakness is what led to their deaths," he said, cutting through me.

I'd trusted a monster that wore my father's face and destroyed my life one horrid action at a time. I'd held on to some hope that he'd been lying, that when he told me he'd let them live, he'd meant it.

They couldn't be gone.

It was a foolish mistake, one that would cost me … everything . Sebek was a man of cold calculation, of feral power and a lack of morals that stemmed back to the first death of my father. He couldn't be reasoned with because he didn't feel empathy for the ones he harmed.

There was only him, his goals, and the obstacles between them. Me. My men. Everyone that had died and would die because he viewed them as expendable.

"Do you see now, Glass? You're mine. Exilium will not save you. Usire will do nothing but die at the Horror's Gala."

I froze, holding my breath as I looked up. Sebek's face was angled toward his watch, like he hadn't just spilled our plan onto the ground like dirt. The bleakness of what awaited us at the Eternium sank down fully, weighing on my shoulders.

"Now dress . We're late."

He was always a step ahead, rigging the board while we stumbled, laughing at every move we made.

And still Osiris fought anyway.

He could have gone for the others and made sure they made it out of Archon's. They could have regrouped, found me at the Eternium where no doubt Sebek planned to take me. Even knowing what he was up against, he came.

I didn't like to think of the world as evil, even with the things I'd been through. It made it hard to want to live when you didn't have something to believe in, even if that was just a smile from a passing stranger.

Or a piece of chocolate from a stoic Vampire who couldn't stand to hear you cry.

Sebek had been there at every turn. Tearing down my hope and my life . There wasn't any doubt in my mind anymore. I hated him. For what he'd done to me, for the scars that he'd seen carved into my skin and for the blood that stained his hands.

Fallon. Adrian. Eirik.

I ignored the ache in my chest when I saw his face, the hope I held that there might still be reason to be found in him.

He was going to try to kill Osiris, too.

"I won't let you," I hissed, a familiar black sheen coating my eyes. It was brief, barely a flash, but Sebek saw it.

His eyes widened a fraction before going fully red.

The power drained just as fast, like dumping a glass of water into a bottomless well. Sebek took a step forward, boxing me against the window. I heard a sizzle of flesh as the light hit his hand, but it didn't stop him, and I had nowhere to go.

"You will listen," he said, his body seeming to grow, his presence filling the room like a plague.

I struggled to keep my head up, fighting the instinct to look down when he glared at me. I dug my nails into my palm to center myself, pushing until the skin broke.

Never make noise.

"I said no. " I lifted my hand, showing my abused palm. Sebek snarled at the sight, that flash of mania driving him again as he jolted forward. "Beat me, drag me, kill me. I don't care. I won't do another thing you ask."

I wouldn't be able to stop him, but I could slow him down. Maybe give Osiris enough time to get in and out before we got there. He had to be there already, the sun at my back telling me as much.

I reached up with my other hand, grabbing the charm that sat around my neck. It was warm to the touch, the little lavender gem glowing as Sebek's eyes flashed to it.

"You will, Glass. We are late ," he snarled.

Years I spent in Ascension, hours strapped to the same table he'd forced me back on. But I had power here, however little it might be. Sebek valued structure, that much was obvious, and I was happy to throw a wrench in that.

"I'm not afraid of what you can do. I've been through worse, but you know that already, don't you?" I asked, and it was like a switch flipped.

I tried to stumble back, hitting the boards as he shot forward. I wasn't expecting the way he grabbed me, one hand in my hair as he jerked my head to the side.

The gem around my neck sizzled, the power of it nearly choking me as I heard his fangs fall. The charm that Osiris had made for me kept him away for all of a moment.

Before Sebek sank his fangs into my neck.

A gurgling cry was my only sound as he pulled a mouthful of my blood out. It sent an immediate chill through every limb, my veins turning to ice so quickly my teeth chattered. There was no gentleness in the merciless clench of his jaw, no end in sight to the pain that blinded me.

A sluggish brush of fear lingered in the air as Red made himself known. His panic blended with mine, his hysteria falling on my chest as I struggled in Sebek's arms.

Osiris's magic came forward, trying to defend me. The gem at my neck vibrated, like it was desperately trying to keep him out. With each hit of power it threw at him, Sebek bit down harder, sank deeper, looking to hurt. A show of dominance that proved his point with every mouthful he stole.

I sobbed, my hands falling limply to my sides before the gem shattered, its pieces falling to the ground like little shards of glass. I was too stunned to speak as he pulled back, face covered in my blood.

He should have died. I waited for it, even as my heart thundered, and he continued to stare. He brushed his hand over his mouth, licking his lips as his eyes went back to normal. Five seconds passed, then ten. Still, he didn't fall. He leaned in with sickening intent, his jaded expression holding nothing but rage. His eyes flared wide, and he reached up, tearing at his wrist.

I was forced to take his blood, a final insult that made me sick, as I was too weak to even turn my head. Red pushed comfort, grounding me as I coughed and sputtered. He was the only thing keeping me lucid as I felt the flicker of the Hallen Bond again.

"Understand, Glass. You're a means to an end. A means to a life, and I will not be denied my peace , " he snarled before he dropped me, watching me slide down the wall with a sneer. He tossed the dress at my feet, red splotches covering the white, one distinctly in the shape of his hand. Then he turned away, leaving me broken on the floor, clutching my savaged neck. "This is your last warning. Dress, while I still have the patience to let you."