Page 42 of No Shot (The Toronto Tundra #2)
Bri
Keep walking.
Don ’ t look back.
Keep it together.
I climb the stairs to the large wooden doors that open into the historic tiled lobby. It ’ s one of my favorite buildings on campus, but I can ’ t even take it in. Instead, I rush straight to the nearest bathroom.
My hands shake as I struggle to lock the door behind me. I try to take a deep, steadying breath, but it’s no use. I feel the tears starting to well up as I walk over to the mirror.
I ’ m going to cry.
Over a man.
I will myself to get it together, except this time, boss-ass-bitch Bri isn ’ t coming to the surface to snap me out of it or to tell me how pathetic I ’ m acting. Instead, I look up, seeing my dishevelled face in the mirror and watch as hot tears stream down my cheeks.
He didn ’ t give me time to process anything in that conversation. It went from elation of getting to see him after a week apart to an interrogation about our future. Our future. Now, five minutes later, it doesn ’ t seem like there ’ s an our to think about anymore.
I wasn ’ t supposed to get attached. This was supposed to be the stereotypical fun fling you ’ re supposed to have in your early twenties… So why does it feel like I ’ ve abandoned him? Like I ’ ve just lost something so monumental?
I let myself cry for another three minutes, then I pull out my makeup bag, fix myself up, and walk into my lecture hall.
***
It ’ s been a week of work, studying, and babysitting Kaia.
An endless cycle of being stuck in my own head and trying to focus on life.
And it ’ s been miserable. I don ’ t think I fully realized how much silliness Penn brought to my life.
How much he pulled me out of my own head, even if that was to annoy the crap out of me.
I miss him like crazy.
I ’ ve sat at home alone, hoping to hear our secret knock on the door. I ’ ve been straining to hear him moving around his apartment just for that sign of life, and wishing more than anything he’d send me just one more of those ridiculous texts.
He told me he ’ d be busy. We agreed to do our own thing, but the longer this lasts, the more I realize I don ’ t want it to. He laid it all out on the line with me. This is my decision, so why am I making myself so damn miserable?
I pull out my phone, pleasantly surprised that I actually have a girlfriend to talk to about stuff like this, who isn ’ t my sister. It ’ s a new feeling for me. A good feeling.
Me: I need your help.
Mia: Thank gosh, tell me this is about
Penn.
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Mia: Your boy has been love-struck on our couch
all week.
Me: Is he okay?
Mia: Currently using a cookie as a spoon to
scoop even more ice cream into his mouth.
It ’ s almost too easy to picture, and I crack a smile. Smiling about Penn for the first time in days feels nice.
Mia: He misses you.
Me: I miss him too. So much.
Mia: He hasn ’ t stopped talking about you.
Me: That must be so annoying to hear, I ’ m sorry.
Mia: LOL don ’ t be. It ’ s been Bri this, Bri that,
non-stop since you met. That boy is smitten.
Mia: He won ’ t text you though, he doesn ’ t want
to bring you down. Keeps going on about how
you ’ re too good for him.
Me: That ’ s the farthest thing from the truth.
Mia: He won ’ t hold you back, Bri. It ’ s not his
personality. He wants the world for you.
Me: I know.
Me: I need to show him.
Mia: If there ’ s one thing he loves, it ’ s a grand
gesture. The boy has a flair for the dramatics.
Me: Do you think he ’ d want to be together for
real?
Mia: He ’ s singing songs about you to Bean as we
speak...
The thought of him wallowing on Jack and Mia ’ s couch, drowning in ice cream and singing to his Godson, a cat, about me, melts my heart. I was supposed to be an ice-queen… No time for romance, but I ’ m thawing. For the first time, I ’ m happy it ’ s happening.