Page 33 of No Shot (The Toronto Tundra #2)

Bri

“ I think it ’ s too revealing,” I call out, while studying myself in Mia ’ s full-length bedroom mirror.

“ You look incredible,” she assures me, walking through the door, followed by Cami.

“ Agreed,” my sister chimes in.

“ I don ’ t know…” I run my hands down the length of the admittedly very short dress. It hugs every inch of my body, making me look a hell of a lot curvier than I actually am. “ I don ’ t want him to get the wrong impression, ya know?”

“ What impression would that be?” Cami raises an eyebrow at me, crossing her arms.

“ That I ’ m—that this is—” I take a deep breath. God, why is this so hard to express? “ That tonight is anything more than two friends testing the waters.”

The timer dings from the kitchen, and Mia hurries out of the room. My sister doesn ’ t seem to be planning to drop her interrogation stare, so I stand up straight, hoping to wait her out. She ’ s pregnant, she ’ ll probably forget her train of thought in a second, right?

“ Cookies?” Mia ’ s sweet voice calls out from the kitchen, easing the staredown happening in her room.

“ Me, please!” Cami calls out eagerly. Ha, my little niece or nephew in there already has my back. Thank you, pregnancy cravings.

Mia emerges with a plate stacked full of giant, fluffy cookies, and I swear, my sister is about to cry tears of joy. She reaches for one so fast, I almost missed the motion. Mia ’ s laugh vibrates through the room before she offers the plate to me.

“ Do you want one?”

They look incredible. A few thick, deep red ones with white chocolate chips, a couple browned ones with what looks like a caramel sauce, and some light, white ones with multicolored sprinkles. My mouth waters the moment the delicious scent of the plate hits me.

“ I so wish I could. Dairy-free,” I respond. I ’ m seriously rethinking my life choices right about now. Maybe if I started micro-dosing on cheese, in a few weeks I ’ d be able to have a cookie without my stomach trying to claw its way out of me? It ’ s worth a shot…

“ Oh my gosh! How funny! Penn was telling me I need to expand my allergen-friendly menu, and I—” Realization dawns on her, the expression on her face depicting the exact moment she connects the dots.

She smiles sweetly, but her eyes dart to my sister as they give each other a knowing look.

“ What a coincidence that these are all dairy-free.” A coincidence indeed.

“ That ’ s incredible,” I reply, trying to ignore the heavy beating in my chest. I focus instead on how excited I am to devour one—or let ’ s be honest, three—of these bad-boys before heading out. “ Thank you!”

“ You ’ re so welcome, can ’ t wait to hear what you think. Full disclosure, I ’ m still playing around with recipes, so please be honest.”

“ I ’ m sure they ’ re great.” Based on the smell alone, I ’ m pretty sure I ’ m about to have the most life-changing cookie of my life, but her humility is endearing. I ’ m two inches away from my first taste when Mia turns to me, a serious look on her face.

“ So what ’ s happening with that?”

“ With what?” I ask before diving in for my first bite.

“ You and Penn.” Shoot, you ’ re not supposed to start choking on your food if you ’ re trying to play it cool. I cough, clearing my throat. Come on, Bri, get it together.

“ There ’ s no me and Penn.” The look Mia gives me, like I ’ ve just told her the sky is purple, catches me entirely off guard.

“ He likes you, Bri. It ’ s obvious.”

“ You like him too,” Cami pipes up.

“ Do not!” Okay, I really didn ’ t mean to sound like a mid-tantrum toddler, but this has got me feeling all sorts of defensive.

“ It ’ s why you ’ re not putting stake into this date tonight. Why you keep insisting it ’ s friendly and nothing more…”

“ It is friendly. I ’ m paired with Clark for the rest of the semester. It ’ s a bad idea to go anyway, so I'm trying to keep it light.”

“ Why go at all then?” Cami ’ s statement hits me, and even I don ’ t fully have an answer.

“ Because I ’ m unattached, and maybe want to see where things to go? See if I can feel the same—” Shit, shit, shit. Abort, I repeat ABORT.

“ Same what? The same things you feel for Penn?”

“ No,” I reply a bit too quickly. Some may think I ’ m defensive but, oh fuck it. Fine, I ’ m defensive. This is embarrassing. Penn and I are just friends … he said so himself.

“ You should give him a shot,” Mia says, a confident smile on her face.

No, I can ’ t. I stare down at my polished fingernails, trying to calm the racing thoughts that come all too quickly.

My heart starts beating faster in my chest, stress thrumming its way through my system.

I ’ ve run through the possibilities in my head a million times, and there are no good outcomes, not when it comes to me and Penn.

“ Why are you so opposed to that?” Cami asks, and my final thread snaps.

“ Because, Cami, best case scenario? We ’ re good for each other, we date for a while, and in order for our relationship to last, I ’ d have to follow him to every new city for the entirety of his career.

He ’ d be gone half the time anyway, leaving me alone, so if we didn ’ t live together when he was home, I ’ d never work.

My dreams would then be put on the back burner, soon to be forgotten, and everything I ’ ve worked toward would disappear faster than a flying puck. ”

Letting this out feels oddly cathartic. “ Worst case?” I say, staring at her through the mirror.

“ I fall, he doesn ’ t, and I ’ m left heartbroken.

” My voice cracks toward the end, and Cami moves toward me, her hand landing on my back.

Except I don ’ t want comfort, that makes me feel too vulnerable, so I continue.

“ Heartbroken and distracted, the winning combo that would lead to a loss of motivation. Next comes the struggle to study, which means I fail out of my master ’ s program and then… I ’ m nothing but a failure.”

I take a breath, head dropping to the floor. It ’ s nice to get it off my chest, like the words aren ’ t consuming my being anymore. They ’ re out in the open, free from plaguing me any longer.

“ So, no thanks to that,” I finish.

My sister rubs a soothing circle on my back. “ You know, for someone who claims to be logical, you ’ re quite the extremist doomsayer…”

I chuckle, but it ’ s dry. “ I ’ m just being realistic.”

“ You ’ re just scared,” she counters.

The scariest part? I think she ’ s right.

***

Dinner was nice.

Just nice . I met Clark there, the conversation flowed, the food was good, and then he walked me home. There were no awkward pauses, no moments where I felt like coming up with an excuse and fleeing the scene, so all in all, a successful date.

Except I felt nothing.

No goosebumps when he touched my lower back as he led me out of the restaurant.

No heart skipping a beat when we approached my door.

No thought-stopping thrill as he leaned in to say goodnight.

I tried, but I just couldn ’ t do it.

Of course, the place we went to had to have the game playing on three of the TVs.

Every time I tried to double down on what Clark was saying, I ’ d hear the announcer call his name, or worse, see a close-up of him flash on the screen.

And every time Penn caught my attention through a small, pixelated screen, my stomach exploded into a flurry of excitement.

That ’ s probably why I insisted on paying for my own meal.

Possibly why I turned down Clark ’ s offer to head for after-dinner drinks.

It ’ s definitely why I turned my face a little more to ensure his kiss landed on the center of my cheek.

Apparently, this ailment of mine isn ’ t going anywhere. I can ’ t catch it from another guy, unfortunately.

It seems I ’ m stuck, liking Penn Brooks as a lot more than just my friend.