Page 27 of Never Submit (Bad Wolves #2)

Chapter 27

Dax

T he last fucking thing I want is to trot off with Nobie, tail between my legs.

An honor? Screw that.

It’s not an honor, it’s a penance, no matter how Mathis wants to spin it. He’s just trying to butter me up to make the sting a little less sting-y. But I know him. And I know when he’s feeling guilty, or stressed, or hungry, or horny.

I know him better than he knows himself most days.

He’s embarrassed at the mate bond and how I’m taking it. And he’s embarrassed that he’s shuffling me off with Noble even if it’s our damn jobs.

But I’ll go because he asked me to and it’s better than making a third loop around the camp. Everything is settled.

The two deltas, one from each of the packs, are put in their place with only a few scratches from me to remind them not to fuck around. I don’t give a shit who has more supplies at this point. Infighting stops now.

I shake my head, canines too sharp for my crowded mouth. The wolf is close. The wolf is all I’ve ever needed. My companion and my shield when life gets too shitty to bear.

The empty pit in my head is waiting for me, too. It’s been growing. Wider, deeper, darker, since Ren came into my life and showed me how it felt to feel again.

If I give in to it, the nothingness of my past?—

“I’ll lose it.”

Saying the words out loud means nothing.

My feet grind into the frozen mud of the trail. The lack of memories used to hurt. Splinters in my brain, constantly poking and prodding. Agonizing. Being around Mathis always helped.

Now, as I draw frigid air into my lungs, something else is there to pick up the slack and distract me. The air carries her scent.

A wicked grin splits my features, and I stalk forward, rounding a corner to where Red is perched on the front porch of her cabin. She stiffens, her movements sharp, and turns around to pin me with her eyes over her shoulder.

Red always knows where I am. We might not have a fucking mate bond, but she knows. Just like she knows who fucks her good.

Mathis does .

I should keep my hands to myself for his sake. I should do a lot of things. The pins are back in my head, slicing things they always slice.

I purposely unclench my fingers and fix her with a territorial grin.

“Hey, Little Red.”

She shivers when I call her name, even as a few of the other wolves, up and enjoying the moonlight, sprint off. Bleating like sheep. I take them in with the detachment of someone who knows I have much more interesting prey in front of me. The sheep will always be there. They’ll always be afraid.

“Are you upset with me?” She drops her head into her palms, elbows balanced on her knees. “You kinda left without saying anything, and Mathis says you just need time to adjust?—”

I stalk forward one purposeful foot at a time. Making sure she knows my movements. Tracks me. I wait until I’m close enough to absorb the way she shivers as I tower over her.

“Upset with you?” My growl vibrates my throat and chest.

“About the mate bond with Mathis.”

I shake my head until too-long hair falls over my eyes. Lips peeled back in a leer, I tip her chin up, pinching the skin just hard enough to make her gasp. “Mad at you? Nah. Not my style.”

It’s my style to attack. To destroy, like a tornado. To relish the way people fear me and laugh in their faces.

“You can’t help the bond. It’s a gift, as I’m sure you’ve been told. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to screw your brains out.” Or chase her through the woods again, like she’s the prey, and when I catch her?—

Her eyes are pools in the darkness with a slight amber glow around the irises. “Is that why you ran off?” Ren asks.

My cock jerks. “I’m about to take off again. The alphas want me and Nobie to head out and check on Andras. See if we can scout his lair.”

“You’re leaving now?” Ren breaks my hold and surges to her feet. “It’s after one a.m.”

“No time like the present.”

She’s close enough for me to grab, and I grip her hips hard, grinding my cock against her. Moaning at the delicious friction of her body. She doesn’t resist and rests her hands on my shoulders.

“What are you going to do?”

She sounds husky, her body going warm and pliant in my arms. Holy fuck, her scent. It’s like being shot up with something delicious and dark. She’s in my veins, in my nerves, bringing everything into sharp relief.

I drop my nose to the side of her neck and trail my tongue over her velvet skin. “You worried about me, Red?” I bite down, not hard enough to mark her, but intentionally leaving deep grooves.

It’s not just about fucking her to bother Noble. Not anymore—although I’m sure it will get under his skin if I have her now, and then take off with him. What a torment to scent his mate on me in an intimate way.

My smile grows.

But no. I want her. She’s an ache, physical and constantly present. There is something about this woman that threatens to undo the last bit of my hard-won sanity. I’ll gladly go mad for her.

“I guess I’m always worried about you,” she admits, scanning my face. “You give me a lot of anxiety.”

“Orgasms,” I correct hotly. “Not anxiety.”

What the hell would I ever do if I lost her? Even the mate bond isn’t going to stand in my way. I know that.

Her head tilts to the side. Her hands are still on my shoulders. “You’ll be careful, won’t you?”

“Always,” I whisper. “Off to go fight the demons for you, Red.”

But if Red got hurt…if I can’t find Andras and stop him…

Focus on the sex. Focus on the physical need rather than the emotions drowning me. Rather than the way my gut tightens, but the pain is shocking, splintering, so different from anything I’m used to.

My head splits open and my chest constricts.

I’ve lost everything before . Or have I?

Where did that thought come from?

The migraine attacks without warning and bows my body sharply.

There’s screaming in my head. Screaming, and music, a faint tinkling of a long-forgotten melody, twined together. I drop my gaze from Red’s, focusing on breathing when my lungs don’t want to hold air. There’s nothing but agony, yelling, and someone calling my name.

There are hands on my head.

“Oh my god, Dax, you’re burning up. What’s going on? Is this some kind of panic attack?” Red sounds panicked herself. “Have you had this happen before?”

She’s here, I remind myself. She’s here and I’m touching her. I’m not lost. I’m not an empty monster.

Nothing is ever going to happen to her again. The alphas will be behind at camp to watch her. Mathis is her mate. Torin might be useless but he’s got some kind of schoolboy crush on her too, and it comes out as mean.

He’d fuck her too, if he could. Not just some blow job to tide him over.

I suck fresh air into my lungs and I gradually come back to myself. I feel nothing . It’s safer to feel nothing. Awareness of my surroundings trickles back to me in the wake of whatever the attack was. The emotions that crashed down so instantly recede and there’s Red, touching me, her pulse pounding.

“Has this happened before?” she repeats, breathlessly .

“The episodes?”

Did I say that out loud?

Red fists her hands in my hair and yanks my head back to force me to look at her this time. And the small biting sensation is nothing compared to the ache already cracking my skull into pieces.

“What do you need from me? What can I do to help you, Dax?” She searches my face. “Do you need me to come with you and mediate between you and Noble?”

My spine straightens. Fuck no. That’s the absolute last thing either of us needs. It will be impossible for me to focus on tracking Andras and tearing through his defenses if I’m worried about her.

I grab her hand and force it against my cock, growing harder with the return of my sanity. “I know exactly what you can do. Use that pretty mouth on me.”

Energy crackles between us. I hold her there for several seconds, absorbing the flash of pleasure and relief in her expression.

“I’m sure you don’t have time to waste,” she admonishes. “Later. I promise.”

I back her up to the side of the cabin and cage her with my body, breathing her in, watching her hungrily.

“You promise?” I repeat.

“Absolutely. You’ll be careful?”

Yes . The word burns my throat, but I can’t say it for some reason. Instead, I chuckle, my jaw tightening, and I press a hard kiss to her.

“Stay wet for me, Little Red. And I’ll make sure you come again and again when I get back. As soon as I exterminate those fucking Blood Moons.”

Before I break down, before the rising tide of emotion crashes on me again, I turn and take off. Feeling her behind me.

Red’s the tether that will bring me home again. Whether it’s a place, or home to myself, I’m not sure, and I don’t want to know. I only want her.