Page 26 of Never Submit (Bad Wolves #2)

Chapter 26

Torin

“ J ealousy is a great look on you,” Mathis taunts. “Truly.”

The sound of his voice is like a cheese grater against my nerves.

I’d rather plant a fist in his face and watch him bleed. Especially when he showed up at the main lodge in wolf form, swaggering around on four legs like he’d just been handed the greatest gift in the history of creation.

I’m mad enough to wrap my hands around his neck, wolf or not, and strangle the life out of him.

He shifted back to man soon enough, but I don’t like him this way either. Not when he runs his mouth and gloats.

“No, I’m serious, Torin,” he says, straightening and linking his hands behind his back to stretch. Even his posture is fucking smug. “I’m really enjoying it. It’s not every day the great alpha of the Steel Claws is so close to being undone.”

“Perhaps you need to have your eyes checked,” I correct him smoothly. “This isn’t what jealousy looks like. I’m not envious that you’ve gotten saddled with a wildcard. You have my sympathies.”

Mathis grins like he doesn’t believe me, and he has every fucking reason not to. This is not how I thought things would or should go. Not by a long shot.

“A wildcard in life and in the bedroom?” Mathis grins, his smile wide and toothy. “My lucky day. You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No, scratch that. I’m glad to have her all to myself. It’s your loss.”

“She’s not yours alone,” I bark. “Her tie to mine came first.”

“Noble is no concern to me. I know he’ll love her properly. The way she deserves to be loved.” Mathis sniffs. “The connection to him almost feels right. As though the mate bond wouldn’t be as exquisite as it is without his presence too.”

“Your taunts are tiresome.” My back teeth grind together again. If I keep this up I’ll be spending a fortune at the dentist.

Mathis and his shitty boasts are killing me slowly on the inside, and my mind whirs with all the things I can do to make him shut up. There are several colorful and violent options I consider closely before I shuck them aside.

The better part of valor and all that crap.

The worst part is I want to know what he’s experiencing. I’ve never in my life heard about a female wolf with more than one mate. Does Noble feel Mathis through the bond?

Since Noble seems to have taken a vow of silence in my presence over these last couple of days, I’m not exactly comfortable asking him. Just as he said he’d meet me at the lodge, yet my beta is nowhere to be seen .

My ribs constrict, my heart clenching and my frustration mounting to unbearable levels.

Not as though my father or any of his betas told me any stories about mates. Growing up, they’d been more concerned with teaching me to fend for myself. With keeping me safe and making sure I learned what it took to stay one step ahead of our enemies.

And that love is a weakness.

“My taunts are going to continue as long as you let them bother you,” Mathis explains, superiority dripping from every syllable. “You know that.”

I turn away from the dust-covered fireplace that looks large enough to roast a fully grown bear. The angle of the full moon casts silver and black shadows on the unused furniture.

“What I know is that I’m ten seconds away from destroying the truce just because you’re pissing me off,” I growl.

My phone vibrates again and I don’t need to look down at the screen to know exactly who is on the other end. The grinding intensifies until it feels like my teeth are about to come loose from their sockets. This is getting ridiculous.

A knock at the door sounds, and Noble pops his head around the corner seconds later. “Am I late for the meeting?” His eyes hold a hint of confusion. “I thought we said midnight.”

“If we said midnight, then you’re late.” I show him my watch. “Where were you?”

His bronze brows crash together. “Taking care of the tasks you assigned to me while you were off pacing somewhere. Try not to worry. I have it covered.”

Fuck, I’m not handling this correctly. I’m barely handling myself .

And Mathis has his fucking dog off his leash and prowling around outside the lodge like some kind of rabid security.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Things go more smoothly when Dax and Noble aren’t in the same room together.

I gesture for Noble to hurry the hell up. “Close the door behind you.”

My voice has deepened and gone gruffer than usual. Another sure sign I’m losing my grip. The iron tenacity my father instilled in me has gotten us this far. Why is it so hard to keep up now ?

I’ve been through unspeakable shit and I’ve survived. What is it about one female that turns everything upside down? My father would have never let any of this happen.

At once, the massive shoes I have to fill suddenly feel much bigger than they did initially.

Noble is visible from the corner of my vision but I focus on Mathis. Focus on breathing and ignoring the reek of Ren on both of them. She’s not in the room with us but she might as well be.

And her wolf… I’ve seen her before, but she’d been out of control then. Tonight, she’d shifted on her own, and looking at her, proud and strong and secure?—

It did something to me.

“Our people aren’t melding well,” I begin, focusing on the task at hand rather than my own mental and emotional issues. “The attack in the city left them frayed, distrusting. Fights are breaking out, and while we’ve been distracted by a certain woman, things are falling apart. It seems most of the Grey Valley are concerned with another attack from the Blood Moons.”

Mathis widens his stance. “Do you blame them? We just got hit again. There are so many more Steel Claws than Grey Valley. They’re outnumbered and intimidated.” He casts a viperous look at me. “It’s not like you’ve been going out of your way to make them feel more comfortable.”

He’s not fighting the allegation about his distraction with Ren. Somehow, it feels like a win to me.

“So purchasing the property and allowing your wolves to take up residence means nothing?” I shouldn’t throw it in Mathis’s face, because I’d already had the property in my portfolio. Except I’d bought it for a very different wolf.

“Torin, stop, please,” Noble warns. “Throwing out accusations isn’t going to fix the problem. If the people are uncomfortable, then it’s up to both of you to reassure them. The distraction with Ren won’t continue now that…the bond has expanded.”

Elegantly put. I hate it.

“If you believe you can do a better job, then maybe you shouldn't have thrown away your pack status in the first place.” I rake a hand through my hair, my nails lengthening until the tips of my claws dig grooves in my scalp. The small flash of pain focuses me as I dredge up ancient history.

“You want to think carefully about what you say next,” Noble says in an undertone. “Water under the bridge, Tor.”

Picking a fight with my beta won’t smooth over the crackle in the air. It won’t make it easier for me to breathe. It certainly won’t help me pull the pieces of myself together in a way I’m used to, one that makes sense.

Noble has stepped fully into the room and instead of coming directly to my side, he’s moved closer to Mathis. The two of them are connected in a way I don’t want to understand, and whatever they’re sensing, feeling, it is something I have no access to.

The way it has to be .

I throw back my shoulders as my phone vibrates in my pocket again. The fourth call I’ve ignored in the last ten minutes, and I know without looking who keeps calling. Catarina.

But the more people who know where we are, the more expansive the target is on us.

“I’m doing the best job I’m able to do. Which is why you brought me back in, remember? Which is why I came home after all those years of not talking,” Noble reminds me. “I’m here now.”

The unspoken words between the lines tell me to focus on the present, on all the healing he and I have been able to do. The steps we’ve taken with Mathis and his people over the last few days.

It’s not enough.

“Because you wanted to be a fucking professor at Yale,” I reply with a laugh, adjusting the lapels of my suit jacket. “Come on. We grew up together. Do you really think I’d let you throw away all your talent to work at some school and move in with your human girlfriend?”

Noble’s sister died while he was in college. But Noble got out. He hadn’t wanted the typical pack life, despite being naturally gifted for it. He’d gone to school, been poised to graduate, had his own apartment and job.

Then she died and he’d blamed me. He’d come back for the funeral, which coincided with my new rise to the position of alpha. A god-awful transition period marked by tragedy.

The way Noble’s looking at me currently, I wonder if he’s ever forgiven me for not being there to protect Kelee. Or if he ever will.

“Shut it down,” he warns, reading my thoughts.

I adjust my weight from one foot to the other. Unwilling to give up the tiny fraction of edge I have over him. “The fact remains that our people are restless, and I can’t be in a thousand places at once. Not with the wedding coming up. So the slack will need to be taken up in the meantime. Back to business. No more distractions.”

It’s impossible to miss the way Noble flinches.

Mathis marks the play by play between me and my beta with his usual smirk. “There’s slack because we are too busy with our heads up our asses, yes?”

My cell rings again. I grimace, my insides twisting. I’ll throw the thing in the fucking fireplace if this keeps up. The lake, the fire, whatever it takes to stop the ringing.

Catarina needs to calm the fuck down.

I have to handle her. Which only makes it more imperative for me to walk out of this meeting with a solid plan and a foundation where I know I’m able to count on the others.

“You’ve given your asses a break. Now, your head is so far up Ms. Wexler’s pussy you’re not thinking straight. Good for you. You’ve got a mate.” I give them both a purposely annoying slow clap. “Figure it out before you impact both packs with this new relationship.”

Noble stalks forward. Unease flickers inside of me. Has he gotten taller? More muscled? Something is different about him, as though the mate bond through Mathis has bolstered him to the point where he’s filled with the same inner fire I’ve always associated with Ren.

“Stop calling her by her fucking surname like you didn’t have your dick shoved down her throat.”

I snort. “Have you considered that maybe we’re all attracted to the woman because she has the Moonstone inside of her?” I gnash my teeth. “That it’s not actually her you like but the power of the stone?”

I want that to be the explanation.

Noble glares at me. “No. I love her . Not a stone. ”

“You have a lot of nerve twisting it around like that,” Mathis adds gruffly.

Both of them close in around me. I’m trapped. I’m stupidly out of my depth and drowning. But I can’t let them see it.

Noble’s hair lifts around his head, an aura of power pulsing off him, rolling like waves of flame. “Pull your head out of your ass, Torin, because you’re not thinking clearly about any of it. Definitely not about Ren. She’s not the problem.”

“Or maybe you’re just still pissed because you wanted me to attack the Grey Valley pack for what Dax did to Kelee, and I refused,” I throw back.

He jerks as if I’ve hit him with silver bullets, his features twisting into a mask of agony and anger, hurt and betrayal.

Mathis growls, but not at Noble. At me . “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You were too weak an alpha to do it,” Noble replies through gritted teeth. “Which is why I didn’t talk to you for years until you called and begged me to come back and help you. When you held my parents’ care over my head.”

The meeting is quickly devolving into chaos. Out of control. There’s no way to get it back on track, but I grasp at the pieces and pull them together like I’m playing god.

“And I paid for their nursing home just like I paid for your college.” My cell phone vibrates again. “God fucking damn it!”

I fish the cell out of my pocket like I didn’t just drop a bomb on Noble’s head.

“You…you didn’t…” he stammers.

I glare at the screen, at Catarina’s picture glowing in the dimness of the lodge. Dragging my finger down the screen, I turn it to Do Not Disturb and toss it on the desk. Should have done that from the beginning.

“Of course I did,” I tell Noble. “You think I’d just let you go off and get yourself buried under a mountain of debt? All your scholarships ? You didn’t earn them. They came from me. Everything you are is because of me.”

And he’s just given his loyalty away to Mathis because they share a connection to the same woman.

Fuck the mate bond. It’s not necessary. If anything, it’s a burden. A hindrance. It makes a wolf incapable of being the strong and self-possessed creature he’s born to be.

Noble wouldn’t have hesitated to come to my side and take care of these problems before they began. No one excels at putting out the little fires like he does.

Is it really the stone?

Mathis stands there, silent and superior, watching and absorbing our greatest secrets.

I should feel ashamed. And I do, somewhere inside of me. Why can’t I stop?

I need to stop.

Back up . Get some air .

For some reason, none of that’s possible for me. I’m in the middle of this melee, and I’m going to come out victorious even if it destroys every tentative relationship I have. With the people in this room and beyond.

They have Ren. They’ll be fine.

Who do I have?

The phone is probably ringing again. I have Catarina and the connections she brings with her pack. I have a wedding just days away. It counts. It has to count.

“As much as I appreciate you giving me ammunition to hold against you, your past is your business.” Mathis finally steps between us. Glaring at me. Considering Noble. “It’s not going to help our people with the adjustment. What will help them is action.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Noble murmurs in agreement.

He’s neutral, but underneath the surface, I know better. We’ve spent too many years together for me not to feel him as a man or a wolf. He’s furious. He’s cut to the bone. And it’s all my fault.

Tension pulses through me and my muscles go tight.

Noble refuses to look at me. “Do you have any ideas, Mathis?”

I gawk at my beta. The bond has been in place between them for, what, an hour? Give or take? And he’s already actively choosing Mathis and Ren over me. I shouldn't feel as bad as I do. I should leave before I make a worse mess of this.

I’m rooted in place.

“The only way we’re going to get out of this is to remove Andras as a threat. We know he’s somewhere in Grey Mountain. Dax wasn’t able to follow Ren’s tracks alone. But between the two of you, you might be able to scope out any changes.”

“The last thing I want is to work with Dax,” Noble insists. “Not to mention it will be tough to find the mountain hideaway with all this snow.”

The Noble I know would not be so eager to agree. Not that he’s exactly eager but he isn’t putting his foot down. If anything, he sounds congenial. Ready to reach a solution.

I huff out a laugh and turn my back on the two of them.

“I have absolute faith in the two of you. If the Steel Claws and the Grey Valley can put their animosity aside, then so can you. So can we all.”

“Like you’re some kind of savior,” I mutter.

“I’m just a man trying to do what’s best for his people. And that, unfortunately, means putting much-needed resources into finding out where Andras is hiding and clearing out his mountain home like ants in a hill,” Mathis tells me.

“Fine. Whatever it takes. I’ll handle the people here.” Right after I take care of Catarina.

“You sure Dax will be okay with playing nice?” Noble still isn’t talking to me.

I might as well take myself out of the situation. It will be better for everyone if I take off to get a handle on myself. Only I’m not leaving.

I’m exhausted, and not sleeping. Hungry, and refusing to eat. Punishing myself has started to impact everyone. It’s not what an alpha does.

My mind shatters into several pieces.

“He will if I ask him to. You two are skilled. I’d say to take a few deltas with you, but we need them here if the fights continue to break out the way you say they are.”

I turn in time to see Mathis nodding his head decisively.

“Fine. Then let’s get started. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.” Noble heads to the door, ignoring me. Not willing to say another word. “Better we leave now.”

“Then I’ll find Dax and let him know what’s going on.”

I’m useless. Absolutely fucking useless, and even I’m not sure what to do with myself. Go jump in the lake, maybe. Because that’s the only way this is going to go where no one gets hurt by my self-inflicting bullshit.