Page 6

Five

Marla

S ebastian isn’t here, and my heart feels hollow. I wonder if his words were lies. I want to believe everything he utters, because he’s the closest I’ve ever had to a normal life, and he sees me as I am.

My mind is a labyrinth, twisting and turning, playing cruel games.

One day, I’m swallowed by a suffocating sense of worthlessness, the world dull and muted, and the next, it’s like a switch flips, and I’m alive with a renewed, invigorating perspective.

Nothing ever seems rational, and I hate the highs and lows.

Shifting on the scratchy dead grass, Chloe holds my hand, and I find comfort in her touch.

“It’s going to be alright, Marla. You’re so strong.”

I bite my lip. “Strength is a double-edged sword. Whenever someone states that, it’s comparable to a temporary bandage which doesn’t help anything but the person saying those words.

Being strong is the only thing we can be.

Living with mental illness inside and out like here, what other choice do we have? ”

Chloe shifts until she’s sitting upright, and I do the same, leaning against the hard straw. “I’m sorry, that’s true.”

“Nah, don’t apologize. I bet you’ve heard the same phrase ten million times while you walked on Earth. It’s our reality, isn’t it?”

“Did you want to talk about the past?” Her mohawk is messy, and she twists her fingers, a nervous habit I’ve noticed.

I lean against my knees and remember my friendship with Jess, but I know it’s over and I have to find comfort in others.

“It’s best to meet people where they are now. We aren’t who we were. Our history has molded us into the person we are, but dwelling on it won’t change the outcome. Our minds do that enough for us, eh?”

“I’m thankful I met you.” Chloe’s voice is meek. I wish I could transfer what I see in her to her mind to boost her confidence and become a better version of herself.

“Of course. Let’s check where the guys are. How do you feel about Sid?”

We both stand and I stretch the muscles in my back. I’ll never get used to resting on the hard ground.

Simple things I miss from Earth- pillows and comfort. That first invigorating cup of coffee, the satisfying drag of a cigarette—mundane moments you don’t appreciate until they’re gone.

“He’s a good guy. I really like him. I’m so grateful I found a circle of people who care, you know?”

I squeeze her hand because she’ll never know how much I understand. While helping souls benefits them, over the years it’s given me a sense of humanity again and fills me with purpose. On Earth, I could aid no one and although it seems pointless at times here, at least I try.

We walk out of the hut together. Sid is lounging against the front of it and stares at Chloe with a smirk. Despite the horrors around them, I believe they can find love. I hope their hearts discover solace in each other.

Scanning the ruins of the forest, I note the damp scent of decay and the eerie quiet that hangs in the air. Branches reach out at grotesque angles and the sky is a burnt orange swirl.

I don’t see Sebastian and I swallow the lump in my throat, turning toward Sid to ask where he is, but I’m interrupted by footsteps. I brace for the impact of a demon coming to hurt me, but instead the smell of tobacco and Sebastian fills my senses. Glancing over my shoulder, I see him.

“My dove,” he chuckles, a low rumble in his chest, “Up early, are we?” Dark shaggy hair covers his forehead, and light shines over his tongue ring. I take in his appearance. No injuries. Sebastian’s skin is covered with the tattoos I’ve touched a million times and he’s here instead of my mind.

“Where were you?”

With a weary sigh, Sebastian glances at Sid, then his gaze returns to mine, intense and unwavering. “Exploring alternative places. I decided to start early. How’d you sleep?”

“Short, almost like I was stuck on the muddy floor of a hut without you.”

I walk away from them. My limbs throb with a restless energy, my skin stretched and taut, as if a drum about to burst.

Heavy footsteps run behind me, and Sebastian grabs my elbow. “Marla, what’s going on?”

I try to shake from his grasp, but his fingers only tighten as he turns me toward him and grips my chin roughly.

“Nothing… I feel like you’re lying.”

A wave of terror floods me. Trusting someone means being vulnerable enough to ask them hard questions, even if the answers might sting.

When you spend your entire life as a punching bag, enduring relentless, unwarranted abuse, your survival hinges on your ability to suppress your insecurities, to bury them deep within.

“I promise—I was checking. I believe I have a few ideas that will hold us for some years at least.”

We all head out to see what he has found.

My muscles scream in protest after a while.

The exhaustion is as though we’ve walked for a decade, each step a lead weight.

I don’t think anyone grasps the intense fatigue of inactivity, a weariness that settles in like a heavy fog.

Boredom and fear are the main staples of Cavum Terra, and sometimes it’s more life draining than being alive.

We come to a dilapidated structure that’s rotting and its roof gone. It appears to be an old treehouse on the ground, intertwined with limbs that someone turned into a home. Massive, moss-covered rocks are scattered across the front, and weathered, grey logs form the outside walls.

“This?” I ask, and he nods as we stand in front of it.

“I think this is doable. I saw it this morning and although I didn’t check the inside, together we can fix it up.” Sebastian grabs my hand before pulling me toward the makeshift door.

Eerie quietness fills the space as we all go in. Musky dampness surrounds me, but it’s nicer than our tunnel. After Sebastian moves the wooden panel across the opening, I glance around.

The roof, a haphazard weave of branches and interwoven trees, offers little protection should the demons choose to attack.

There are a handful of chairs made from branches and covered in bark and as I continue over the yellowed-grass floor, I find a large table which stretches the entire side of the wall.

“Two bedrooms, convenient. This is someone’s home. No one puts this much effort and then abandons it. We should go,” I say and open the back door, which leads to a ravine surrounded by boulders.