Page 11

Ten

Sebastian

T he world has dissolved into a meaningless blur, and I’m trapped within the confines of my own shattered thoughts. I struggle toward the surface, only to be ripped apart once more.

“Son,” a deep voice says.

I tear my gaze from the abyss of my flashbacks and stare at Berimund.

“Yes?”

“It’s time. Let’s go.”

I don’t ask where. I assume they have to dispose of broken souls because we’re useless now, and if it means I’m put out of my misery, it’s the least I could do.

Marla hasn’t been back to the forest since that day, and her absence weighs heavily on me. I hate that I caused her pain. I wanted her to find solace away from the harsh, unforgiving world I’m trapped in.

We walk through the terrain in silence until we reach a green wall wrapped with foliage. Tanca and Giso stand next to a tinted glass door I’m not able to see beyond.

Screams fill the air behind us, and an urge to turn back tugs at my heart. It feels like Marla is in danger, and I can’t tell if that is real or part of the demon.

I thought after so many years I would get used to him, but it’s the most torturous thing I’ve ever experienced.

“What’s happening?”

Berimund wraps his arm around my shoulder. With a squeeze, he smiles. We stand in front of the glass.

Tanca nods at me, “it’s time for a new adventure. It doesn’t happen often, but after the years, you’ve survived, and with the resiliency you’ve shown Cavum Terra, it’s the right moment to move on.”

His words whirl in my head. I can’t make sense of what’s next, but I know there has to be a place better than this depressing wasteland. Although I’ve abandoned Marla, I should find her first.

“What about Marla?”

“The leadership you both had in building communities is unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” Giso says, her voice filled with admiration. “You left no one behind, and the compassion you and Marla showed to those with mental struggles was remarkable.”

I glance at the route we came through. The path is gone, and it’s covered with overgrowth. Looking back at the Lords, I don’t know what anything means.

“What do I need to do?”

“Nothing. Karus Anima is the reward for the people who don’t succumb to their demons.

Although other spirits are there, it is more than fighting forever.

Across Cavum Terra, the communities you and Marla built hum with the tireless work of those who continue to protect souls.

You both created a legacy of selflessness, and we couldn’t be more proud of you two,” Berimund says before pushing me toward the door.

“Marla? I need to go save her. I fucked things up.”

“If it’s meant to be, you will know it,” Giso says. She squeezes my hand before opening the door and shoving me through.

The path stretching ahead consists of varied gravel and stones, some worn smooth, others sharp. Large branches, their leaves a deep, lush green, shade the entrance.

I turn, ready to ask more questions, but the opening is gone, swallowed by a thick wall of leafy growth that smells of damp earth.

Missing the fresh air, I inhale deeply, the cool breeze carrying the scent of wildflowers, and walk down the path.

With a glance upward at the breathtaking royal-blue sky, the clouds look like fluffy cotton candy.

The grass here is green, unlike the yellowing scrub of Cavum Terra where the broken ground is always reaching for you to fall.

Everything here is tranquil so far, the trails clear and stable. I wander along the greenery to a flowing river. The water is pristine, and I see coloured rocks and darting fish.

I should have asked the Lords what the fuck Karus Anima stood for. I could be in a realm of deception for all I know. Though as I pause and glance around, the only sounds are the birds chirping, and I don’t see any of my demons.

The weight has been lifted from my chest since I took on the blue one from Marla, and I wonder if our efforts have been rewarded with something good.

Although I learned to be a better person because of Marla, it didn’t seem like a big deal to provide souls with compassion in their afterlife.

Everyone has their own experiences with mental health and lack of care on Earth.

Each of us carries the scars of our own battles, the chilling presence of our inner demons a constant companion, especially in Cavum Terra, where they tortured so many for so long.

I don’t understand who could treat anyone any differently for their choices to escape mental illness.

Continuing along the riverbank, I take in the rich colours of the forests and sky.

People pass by with smiles on their face, and I nod as I continue looking for the only reason I care to breathe air.

Not being assaulted by nefarious smells or the sudden march of thunder is a different pace, as if this place is meant to be enjoyed.

After I cross over a bridge, I come to an area filled with small identical homes. The smell of cut grass is in the air.

Fading behind a row of trees, I walk on until I see her. Long black hair cascades down her back. Marla is wearing dark pants and a crimson sweater.

With a glance at myself, I realize new clothes adorn my body. Jeans and a band tee were always my go-to, and it’s the same.

The sound of her carefree laughter reaches me through the trees, a stark contrast to the usual seriousness I’d seen on her face. I love her in any condition, embracing all her flaws and imperfections. Her spirit is my compass.

My dove talks rapidly. I can’t hear every word, but the girl opposite her beams with the conversation. They walk toward a big circle. Many cushioned chairs surround a large table, and a tall man with dark hair joins them.

Green envy runs through my veins, but he doesn’t touch my dove, instead clasping the hand of the girl.

Marla sits across from them, a smile on her lips as they chat, and I question if my presence is necessary. Leaving her with the ghost of a man who hurt her deeply shouldn’t be the last memory she has of me, and I’d be a coward if I walked away and lived in this rich environment without her.

Wiping my palms on my jeans, I inhale the fresh air and stalk towards them.

“Well, it’s been amazing to see your face again. It’s wonderful that you found someone, and your trauma from Earth has been wiped. I’ll see you soon. Okay, Jess. I love you,” Marla says to the blonde woman.

Finally, after searching for so long, she was reunited with the friend she had avenged at the mental-health centre.

I wonder if I have anyone worth finding in this beautiful place other than her, and fear I’ll have to face the wrath of those who did me wrong and on whom I’ve inflicted too much pain.

Stalking from behind the treeline, I drift through the shadows like I always used to before and follow her to a home away from all the cookie-cutter ones.

She climbs the steps to a large patio that wraps around a medium-sized brick house. Comfortable-looking furniture sits beside a small table. Marla glances over her shoulder before she disappears within the home.

Fear has never stopped me from anything in my life, but after my battle with the demons in Cavum I’m a different man, knowing our love will endure every challenge thrown at us.

I stand straighter and walk around the house, the cool air brushing my skin, until I find a side door, the wood weathered and worn.

As I enter, I notice the warm light illuminating the small yet inviting kitchen and dining area. Fresh purple flowers, their fragrance sweet and subtle, fill delicate glass vases on the dark table, their colour a vivid splash against the deep grain.

“Jess, is that you?” My dove’s voice floats through the hallway. Footsteps follow, and as she enters the room, my gaze locks with hers. Red lips, hazel eyes, and a face that’s been etched across my mind forever.

“My dove.” I smile at her. Emotions bubble under the surface of my skin, clenching my jaw, waiting for the worst. Rejection, abandonment and whatever else the world might throw at me.

Marla’s eyes mist over as she stares at me, but she runs at me with excitement. I capture her in my arms and let out a sigh of relief as her legs wrap around my hips.

“You found me.”

“Always, my dove. You should know that by now.”

I hold her with one hand and grip her chin with the other as I kiss her lips, needing to consume her but knowing she might need time. Marla will forever be mine, even if she doesn’t want me.

The only sound is my footsteps on the long hallway’s polished floor as I peer into each shadowy room, searching for a bedroom. Not as if I wouldn’t take her across the kitchen table, but I want to worship every inch of her and prove myself.

“I’ve missed you. Sorry I failed to find you before I left Cavum. I had to leave immediately, unless I wanted to stay there,” she says.

“Never be sorry. I’d have hated it if you stayed for me. You deserve this peace, Marla. I would crawl from the ashes to be with you. I’m devastated because of what the demon did to me.” I’ll never forgive myself for the way I spoke to her.

“Mental illness is a bitter disease that will take all you have, strip you of everything safe and kind, and shred you until you can’t cope anymore.

Sebastian, you don’t need to apologize. You took the hardest battle for me, and while it twisted you into something you hated, I loved you through it all. ”

She’s my entire world. I feel I deserve her freely given love, a love that feels like coming home.

I walk to the bedside and lower her to the soft covers. Everything here is comfort and beauty opposed to the trenches we lived in before. I undo her jeans and pull them off her legs as she rips off her top, eager for my touch.

Kneeling before her, I wrap my hands around her thighs and tug her to the edge of the bed.

“Sebastian, I love you. I’ve always loved you.” Her words dance on the folds of my mind like the sweetest song.

“There was never a doubt, my dove, but let me prove to you how much you mean to me,” I whisper.