Page 4

Three

Marla

W hile Sebastian checks for any threats, I lead the new girl to our supplies. We’re down on what we have, but it’s better than nothing.

“Luckily we don’t feel hungry here, and I haven’t had to drink anything since arriving. We have clothing we’ve ripped into rags in case the bleeding doesn’t stop as fast as you need to. I’d suggest bringing some of them with you.”

“Thank you. I don’t know how I’ll repay you.” Her bright blue eyes never meet mine and she spends most of the time staring at the ground.

I reach forward and grasp her shoulder. “It’s okay, it’s what we do.”

A loud screech interrupts me, followed by a long wail, and Sebastian runs past us to the entrance. A man with black hair and ripped clothes stands with blood running from his face and scratches covering his muscular body.

“Sid?” I question as I run towards him. Sebastian tries to hold me back, but I shake from his grasp.

“Marla, I didn’t think I’d find you again. Can I rest here for the night before heading out again? I haven’t been able to heal in fucking weeks.”

I nod before bringing him further into the tunnel. Chloe joins us with some of the rags I showed her.

Sebastian moves some barricades over and pulls out more moss to cover the ground, turning it into a make-shift bed.

“Where have you been all this time?” I ask him as we wrap the fabric around his biceps and legs.

“Running. The girl I met when we first came here together made a group, but they didn’t like my humour or something and asked me to leave. I’ve tried to find you, but fuck if I know how time works around here.” He stares at the ground, kicking a few stones.

He’s right. No one can keep track of the amount of years we’ve been here.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says from behind me. “You’re welcome to join us. We’ve been a pair for the duration. New people come, and we always receive them and get everyone used to the realm before they branch off.”

“It’s true. I never thought I’d become like a pestering mother hen, but here I am.” I smile at Sid and Chloe.

The warmth of Sebastian’s hug around my waist fades, the comforting pressure leaving a hollowness that chills me to the bone.

“How many demons did you end up with?” Sid asks and tightens a bandage.

I settle on the ground with them leaning against the rock.

“Three. One has progressed over the years and it’s fucking terrifying.

Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

It bends me to its will at every chance.

If I wasn’t focused on other people and didn’t have Sebastian, I’d be a shell of a person. ”

Chloe’s azure eyes fill with tears, and she runs a hand over her black and blue mohawk.

“New girl?” Sid stares at her.

“Yeah, the others broke from the pact, and we have rules. Leave no one behind. You remember how fucking scary it is when you first come here?? The fear never leaves, but you adjust.” I fiddle with the drawstrings on my hoodie.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to be a burden,” Chloe whispers. Her fidgeting and the despair in her eyes show the turmoil of her ruminating thoughts.

“Chloe, this is Sid. He was the first person I met here. You can remain here as long as you want. We might have to move eventually, but for now, you’re right at home.” I squeeze her arm, and she gives a meek smile.

“Marla is pretty tough,” Sid says. “Crazy, but good shit. You aren’t a burden, and I know I’m just some dude who’s bleeding on the floor, but you make a difference, no matter how bad your thoughts and memories harm you.”

They chat, and I use the time to search for Sebastian. The tunnel curves in the middle where culverts run through with icy water. It gives us a private area at the back for when we take in others.

I find him near the rear entrance, fiddling with branches and rocks. “Weapons won’t work, my love,” I tell him.

“I’ll never stop trying, though. How’s it going over there?” He jerks his head toward the light laughter coming from the front.

“Sid can help her more than I am. He’s been doing this solo for a long time.”

“You do so good, Marla. I’m proud of you.” I sit on his knee and nuzzle against his chest.

The haunting sound of Jess’s voice calls out to me. Her voice curls through the darkness, a ghostly murmur riding the wind. My jaw locks tight, teeth grinding as I roll onto my side, pressing my palms hard against my ears. But it doesn’t matter—nothing drowns her out.

"Marla..." A whisper, soft as a breath against my neck. "I need you."

The words slither under my skin, cold and relentless. I squeeze my eyes shut.

She’s not here. She can’t be. Right?

I don’t know if it’s real or fake, and after I pull myself into a standing position, Sebastian mumbles in his sleep but rolls over. I creep toward the front of the tunnel where Sid and Chloe are asleep, not knowing if either of them will wake up.

I turn on my heels and head out the rear entrance.

Hazy air sits heavy against my muscles and as my chest tightens, it’s like an elephant is lying on me. Slipping through the long grass and around our home, I find the route I’ve taken many times.

Sebastian’s disapproval is a small price to pay for the happiness of seeing Jess again.

“Marla.”

The sorrowful sound makes my heart ache. I’ll never forgive myself for not fighting for her more, or the goodbye I never got out.

Dark crimson clouds overhead swirl around. There shouldn’t be another drop of souls today, unless Earth has gotten that bad. It’s a wonder we all fit in this realm sometimes.

Fear pulsates through the atmosphere, and as much as I try to make it better for people, I know this will always remain a terrible place.

A large purple figure darts in and out of my peripheral vision, its beady orange eyes and fangs filling me with panic.

Dread courses through me and I pick up the pace, jogging toward the circle on the wall that I’ve found before. Crystal-clear glass greets me to stare through.

Tripping over a hole in the ground, I crash, the right side of my body entangled in a dense thicket of brambles, their scratchy leaves and thorns digging in.

The searing pain of being torn apart fades into blissful relief, a victory over the demons that had threatened me.

Despite its flaws, this coping mechanism has saved me from a complete emotional breakdown, where all that would be left is an empty shell.

As I stare into the other realm, I watch Jess rise from a comfy chair and wrap her arms around a man with dark hair. She’s found someone to cherish, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted, a person to love her in every way she deserves.

Beyond my selfish wants, I’m fiercely protective of her and don’t want her to journey through this dangerous realm.

Jess and I became the best of friends at a point and time when we needed each other the most. I don’t know about her history or what life was like for her before me.

Similar to one of those projector toys from my childhood, the scene switches, and my mother fills the clear glass. Her deceitful mask was never replaced, and I hate that she is in this serene place with my grandparents and Jess.

She belongs in Hell for all the pain she has caused. I should have let nature run its course so she could take her rightful spot instead of killing her. Disappointment and hatred fill her face, and I stumble backwards.

My vision greys and the colours in this realm fade away. Dark tendrils cover my shoulder and as I shake them off, I look behind me.

Depression is always lurking, sky-high and thin as it stalks me at every turn. Anxiety has fangs, and misery has the longest fingers touching you from wherever it stands.

I’ve often wondered if it’s different for everyone, as they have said. I can’t help but question if it’s our perceptions, life-altering moments that formed us into who we are. Or maybe they are different and we’re all fucked.

A light blue giant leaps after me, changing with its surroundings as it nears. This is the one I’ll never understand. A quick look over my shoulder shows the window is gone, leaving me alone.

I inhale a shaky breath as the claws reach me. Blackness clouds my mind and memories of abuse skate through the folds in my brain. A fog surrounds us, pillowing around in an eerie fashion. Each scratch opens my flesh, and blood runs down my arm.

Smiling, I stare into its black eyes and wait for more, euphoria coursing through me, something I can never explain to anyone. Harming myself is useless here because of the rapid healing, delaying my gratitude for the damage inflicted.

However, when the demons get carried away and I need the release, I relish in it if only for a moment before running away. This time I crave it like a cigarette, a drink that’s out of reach, and as the claws grip me again I can only close my eyes and sigh.

Within seconds the sharp talons retract, and loud sudden noises fill my soul, startling me with its erraticism. Fog turns into dark shadows and Sebastian’s face peeks through.

The demon slits his throat calculatingly and my stomach clenches, twisting knots through my body and as I try to run, I’m held in place to watch the demon kill him.

A thick blackness swallows the world, and I’m adrift, a sense of despair washing over me, knowing I can’t live without Sebastian.

I find myself swimming through the chaos that was my life, good memories flashing by like a thought I’m not allowed to have, the bad ones sluggishly passing to remind me I wasn’t worth anything other than being the burden my mother always told me I was.

“MARLA.” Sebastian is close, but that’s impossible. I watched him die.

Perhaps this is the stop where I’ve lost my mind, and the husk of a person will lie in the dead grass surrounding me.

“My dove, wake up.” Strong arms cradle me and as I force my eyes open, I am held close to his body, the familiar scar of my initials carved into his chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whimper.

“Just stay with me, alright?” He hums a song we used to play during our drives and I focus on the sound.

He is my anchor, a steadying presence when fear threatens to consume me. I put everything in jeopardy each time I do these things.

We reach a secluded area, the place where he spawned when he first came here. I’ve looked for this location before and have always fallen short. Sebastian sits against a tree with me in his arms, pulling me closer again as he kisses my forehead.

“I…”

“No, you don’t get to say sorry. You are safe now. Let’s rest for a bit before heading back.”

“Sorry doesn’t cover it, because I’ll forever be putting you and the others in danger to see a glimpse of something that might not even be real. You should let me go. I’ve always been a burden, and I doubt it’s ever going to change,” I whisper.