Page 32

Chapter 31

Fuck with Her and Find Out

Jemma

I t was Chad.

“Is your douchebag boyfriend here?” he snarled, shoving past me. I was too shocked to do anything but let him storm into the living room. He saw Ezra immediately and halted, his cheeks pinking.

“Ezra,” he muttered. Ezra, the most amazing bestie in the literal world, got to his feet. He was a good few inches taller than Chad, and he used that advantage to stare him down.

“What do you want, Chad?” I asked, amazed at how level my voice was.

“Who’s that?” he asked, jerking his head in the direction of Humphrey.

“That is my boyfriend, and none of your fucking business!”

I gaped because Ezra very rarely swore. But this seemed like a good time to drop a whole arsenal of f-bombs.

Chad turned back to me. “Is he here?”

“Who?” Ezra asked.

“Her big blond bastard of a boyfriend!” His breath smelled like whiskey.

“Are you drunk?” I asked, taking a step closer to Ezra. Humphrey moved towards the pair of us, too, until there were three of us united against this lunatic.

“I want to know what the fuck he did to me?” Chad rasped, rubbing at his arms.

Ezra looked at me as if I’d have the answers. And an inkling dawned on me, my stomach knotting.

“He’s out of town on business. You can’t talk to him.” I couldn’t keep a tremor out of my voice any longer. If my suspicions were correct …

“I want him to undo it! I don’t want his fucking money, not if … not if I’m gonna feel like this forever!”

“What did he do?” Ezra asked the question I simply couldn’t. Because I knew. I knew what he’d done, and …

… and I wasn’t even sorry. Not one bit.

“I … he said he wanted to buy my collection. That he had a gallery where it would get seen.” Chad’s eyes darted around the room as if he was expecting SJ to just appear out of thin air, like a jump scare. “He offered me a shit-tonne of money—I would have been an idiot to refuse! I couldn’t … it seemed too good to be true. And then he … he told me that there would be a way I could repay him for the favour … and I’d know when that time came.”

Chad scratched up and down his arms, leaving red tracks. “But I can’t … he shook my hand, and since then, I’ve felt … wrong!” Chad surged towards me, but Ezra’s hand shot out, stopping him from getting any closer.

“I know the arsehole did something to me, and I want him to make it stop!”

Ezra reached out and took my hand, squeezing it. I squeezed back.

“Jemma’s already told you, he’s out of town on business. You have no right to come barging in here, abusing her because of some beef you have with her boyfriend. Not after what you did to her.”

Chad’s expression went still. “What the fuck did I ever do to her?” he demanded. I had to give it to him, he sounded convincingly self-righteous. “We dated, and it didn’t work out, that’s no reason to treat me like?—”

“That’s enough!” I snapped, gripping Ezra’s hand so tightly that he hissed. “I am done letting you gaslight me, Chad!”

He blanched. “I never?—”

“Yes you did. And you still are. I don’t know … maybe you’ve even started to believe your own twisted version of things, but you are not welcome in my home, or my life. So get out.”

Chad’s eyes widened—he definitely hadn’t expected me to stand up for myself—and puffed out his chest.

“You always were a delusional bitch, Jemma.” He turned, heading for the door.

I saw red.

“You deserved it.”

His head twitched, and he half swivelled back in my direction, a question in his eyes. I stared him down.

“I know what he did to you. And you deserved it. He won’t take it back—he doesn’t do things like that lightly. He’s not morally corrupt … unlike you.”

Chad spun on his heel and walked stiffly to the door. He let himself out without another word.

I blew out a breath. “Holy Hell!”

Ezra grabbed me and swung me around. “Jem! That was amazing! I’ve never seen you act so … unaffected by that dickhead. Morally corrupt? Classic! But … what did SJ do to him?”

“Hold up!” Humphrey interjected. “Can we back up a step or ten? I feel like I’m missing a huge amount of backstory here.”

Ezra watched me carefully. “You want to tell him?” he asked gently.

I didn’t even hesitate to nod. “As far as I’m concerned, we’ve already inducted Humphrey into the Jemma’s Life is a Right Royal Mess Club. He may as well know everything.”

Quickly and dispassionately, I filled him in on my history with Chad. And then I filled them both in—because I realised I hadn’t actually told Ezra, with everything else that had been going on—about the brunch and my conversation with SJ in the café bathroom.

“So …” I nibbled on my lip. “I think … I’m not totally sure … well, I guess I probably am … that SJ tricked Chad into selling his soul to him, along with his ugly art.”

They gasped in unison, and I giggled nervously.

“No way!” Humphrey breathed. “That’s …”

“That is some epic karma, right there!” Ezra collapsed back onto the lounge, a guffaw bursting out of him. “Jemma! I hope SJ hung his art somewhere in the deepest bowels of Hell!”

My giggle became a full-blown cackle at the thought, and I fell onto the lounge beside Ezra.

“He’s already in love with you,” Humphrey blurted.

My chortle turned to a choke. “What?” I spluttered. “How can you possibly know that?”

Humphrey’s withering look told me he thought I was simple. “He literally doomed the eternal soul of your arsehole ex because he treated you like dirt. He might not have realised it himself yet … but this dude would burn the world down for you.” He sighed dramatically. “It’s so romantic!”

I sat upright, heart hammering. “Touch her and die,” I muttered, my eyes darting to Humphrey. “I think you might be right!”

“What are you talking about?” Ezra asked.

I leapt up and staggered to the bookshelf, tugging down Vibing With My Vampire TA: A Dark and Spicy Paranormal College Romance . I flipped through the pages until I found the spot I was after.

“Okay, so in this one, the FMC—female main character, Gertrude?—”

“Wait!” Ezra shrieked. “Who the hell calls a college student character ‘Gertrude’? That’s just ridiculous!”

“Shh, that’s beside the point. Anyway, this douchebag jock is trying it on with her at a party and takes things too far, and the nerdy TA who acts all weird around her—because he’s a vampire, and he’s worried if he touches her, he’ll want to drain her dry—well, he follows the jock home and rips out his throat.”

“That’s … bloodthirsty,” Humphrey mumbled.

“ That’s touch her and die.” I snapped the book shut, my hands shaking.

“But Chad’s not dead … more’s the pity,” Ezra muttered darkly.

I shrugged. “Okay, so let’s call it ‘fuck with her and find out’. It’s the same result in the end. The male character is so obsessed he will literally mete out punishment on anyone who wrongs her.”

It could be a simple coincidence that I told SJ about my past with Chad, and then suddenly he was making shady soul bargains with him. Couldn’t it?

It’s not, though …

“Well, Chad’s certainly finding out what happens when you fuck with the love of Satan Junior’s life!” Humphrey crowed.

And for the first time since the onset of my feelings for SJ, I felt a proper surge of hope that maybe … just maybe … I could get him to fall hard enough that he wouldn’t want to send my soul to Hell after all.

But what would that do to the both of us, in the end? What if I fell just as hard for him?

Haven’t you already?

And if I did … or had … or might … how could we ever have a happily ever after when he was the Devil’s son, and I was just an average human girl?

These sorts of love stories worked in books … but I didn’t think my real life was a romance novel.

If it was … damn it, it was the most torturous slow burn imaginable!

“Well,” I began, tucking my phone under the strap of my tank top and unbuttoning my jeans to make room for my last slice of pizza. “Now I guess it’s just a waiting game for him to decide when we see each other again.”

My phone sent an electric shock through my chest. I squawked, tugging the thing out and checking the screen.

“Holy shit …”

FiendPay: Satan the Second, Crown Prince of Hell, formally requests the presence of Miss Jemma Bliss at the Mephistopheles’ Day Ball, Friday 13th September, in the Throne Room of Castle Inferno, Hell.

FiendPay: A portal will be opened at 7pm sharp from the living room of Jemma Bliss’s apartment directly to the Throne Room.

FiendPay: There is no RSVP. Attendance is non-negotiable. This is considered your third FiendPay task. You must remain at the ball until the whim of The Crown Prince deems you are free to leave.

FiendPay: Dress Code: Slutty Demoness

I read the message aloud to a gaping Ezra and Humphrey, my fingers fumbling the phone.

“I … I don’t know how to feel about this,” Ezra eventually mumbled.

“You and me both!” I gasped, pressing a palm to my hammering heart. A ball. With SJ … but also the rest of the demons of Hell.

“How am I not going to stand out like a sore thumb?” I demanded. “Everyone will know I’m human straight away! I’ll likely be dragged off to be tortured by a pack of demons!”

Humphrey shook his head. “SJ won’t let that happen to you. And besides, if you read the dress code like a clue, he’s telling you exactly what you need to do.”

“Slutty demoness? Like, a little red dress and a headband with horns on it?”

My phone sparked, flying out of my hand.

FiendPay: Just so you know, demonesses don’t have horns … but other than that, you have seen The Crown Prince in all his devilish glory …

I peered around the room suspiciously. “Is he … SJ, are you spying on us?”

There was no response.

“I think maybe I’ve had a bit too much sangria,” I said, pushing my cup away.