Page 17

Chapter 16

An Outright Lie

Jemma

I spent the entire drive home with my lips tingling. I couldn’t stop touching them, trying to recall the feel of his skin against them.

Why had I kissed him?

Scratch that. I knew why I’d kissed him. And it was the worst possible reason. It was so humiliating and so stupid that I practically cringed every time I thought about it.

I’d been happy to see him. And I was … damn it, I was grateful to him!

It was as simple as that. The sheer relief I’d felt when he’d appeared behind me and saved me from the torture of sitting at that table with my brother and Ratty-Man.

“You stupid woman!” I lectured myself as I pulled into a park outside my apartment block. “What he can do to you—what he will do to you—is far, far worse than anything that sad little Ratty-Man has ever done.”

But SJ had defended me to my brother. He had insulted my ex—more than once. Had gotten all ragey when I’d told him what Chad had done to me.

Oh my God, I’d told him what Chad had done to me! That whole debacle still felt so utterly, miserably humiliating, so … soul-destroying … that the only person I’d ever told the whole thing to was Ezra. And even then, only because he’d found me breaking down over it, and even then, it had taken him hours of passing me tissues and holding me before he managed to coax the story out of me.

SJ … all he’d done was grab me against a wall, act all growly, and demand to know what Chad had done, and the whole thing had just bubbled out of me. And then he’d looked like he was ready to do murder when he heard it.

Was it bad that I was hoping SJ would do something nefarious to my ex? It wasn’t as if he didn’t utterly deserve it. Yes, that had to be bad, didn’t it? This was a man … no, a devil … who wanted to snatch my soul for eternal damnation. I shouldn’t be rooting for him to do something just as bad … maybe even slightly worse … to Chad.

But I couldn’t stop myself from fantasising about it.

“Ugh!” I moaned as I mounted the stairs. “And now I’m calling him SJ? I promised myself I wouldn’t do that!”

But honestly, Satan Junior was just such a mouthful that even my brain was getting tongue-tied when I thought it.

I opened the apartment door and flung myself inside, calling out, “Oh my God, Ez, we set a new record for world’s worst brunch today!”

I stopped short, finding him on the lounge, watching me warily. Oh … that’s right, I’d forgotten in all the other craziness that he wanted to ‘talk’. And there was my anxiety, ripping right back into my chest.

I approached Ezra almost reluctantly. Luci was snuggled up on his lap as he stroked her white fur like some cartoon villain. I glanced at the coffee table, noticing the white box with the very distinct green Gluten-Free Donuts logo.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, dropping my bag on the floor and collapsing onto the lounge beside him, snatching up the box. It was still hot, and the smell that wafted from it was divine. “I was so worried when I got your message that you were mad at me about something … but you bought me donuts?”

I reached into the box and tugged one out, about to bite into it when he spoke.

“I didn’t buy them for you. Your boyfriend did.” He passed over a little card.

Since you missed out on your murder parfait, I thought you might be hungry for something you will actually appreciate.

Yours absolutely not-nefariously,

SJ

“How?” I blurted, my eyes running over the lines of text. Did he have some sort of never-ending line of demonic credit? Was there a currency exchange where he could swap out ‘Dollary Dooms’ or whatever they called their Hell bucks for human currency? Did they even have money in Hell?

Well, he’d managed to get that box to me the night of too much wine and not enough common sense. But I hadn’t given thought to the how of it all. And that had been through some evil magic—the same stuff that had zapped my phone with his text messages …

This … this was a proper box of donuts, from my favourite market stall. With their logo and everything. But then, how had the delivery beat me home? It had only been a half hour ago that I’d been slipping out of a unisex bathroom, my lips still hot from his.

I narrowed my eyes at the donut in my hand. The last time I’d eaten food delivered by SJ, I’d ended up on an interdimensional slippery slide to Hell, with a piece of my soul sucked into that little coin of his.

I shrugged. Things couldn’t get any worse than that, could they? And I was ravenous. I took a monstrous mouthful.

“Your boyfriend , Jemma?” Ez prompted.

“I … uh … it’s new,” I mumbled as I chewed, not meeting his eyes.

“So new that he visited you at the hospital yesterday? So new, that apparently he has a pet name for you. So new, that I—your best friend—heard about this through the hospital gossip mill?”

Damn it. Of course Sally would have been yapping about his visit to anyone who would listen! She’d been very enamoured with him.

You were very enamoured with him …

But that had just been acting. He’d told me I needed to pretend. I’d pretended. My soul depended on it.

“Is it the man from the markets?” Ezra asked sharply. I almost choked on a mouthful of donut. Luci woke up with a little hiss and leapt off his lap, snuffling towards my donut box. I snatched it out of her reach, jumping up and staggering to the kitchen, pouring a big glass of water to wash down the mouthful. I busied myself with filling the kettle and putting a teabag into a mug. Anything to not have to look Ezra in the eyes.

“What on earth makes you think that?” I asked faintly. Because it was the man from the market. But it was nothing like what Ezra was imagining.

“Ellie described him to me, when I was doing her obs this morning. Tall, blond, posh looking with ‘all the rizz’. Sounded suspiciously like our fanfiction Draco … and I did glimpse him at the donut stall around the same time as you … and I’m almost positive I saw you follow him across the road, too.”

Double damn it! Ezra was far too observant for his own good!

“I thought I was your best friend, Jem!” The hurt in Ez’s tone almost broke me. “I tell you literally everything about my love life, and yet …” He turned, propping himself on the armrest of the lounge. “What is going on? You don’t mention a word about some hot new man in your life, and the first I hear is gossip about how you’re practically at second base with him in the activity room of the paediatric cancer ward!”

I flushed crimson. “Well, when you put it like that, it sounds …”

“What other way should I put it?” He got up from the lounge and came to sit at the kitchen bench. “Tell me that the rumours are exaggerated, please! Because it’s not like you to jump into something … intense … with a man you barely know.”

I scoffed. “You’re a fine one to judge, going out on a first date and not coming home until the following afternoon!”

Ezra’s jaw twitched, and he looked away. I immediately felt awful.

“Hey, Ez … I’m sorry. That was a shitty thing to say. Humphrey’s a really nice guy, and I’m glad you’ve hit it off.”

Ezra ruffled his bright hair, letting out a deep sigh. “I just want to know that you’re happy. And that you’re safe. There have been times in the past when you’ve kept things from me because you’ve been hurting, and I think sometimes you think that pretending everything is alright is easier than sharing your problems, but …”

I snatched up another donut, shoving it into my mouth. He had no idea how close to the surface the past was today … or how close I was to blurting out too much about the present. And the secret I was keeping from him this time was much, much bigger, and worse, than anything I’d ever tried to shield him from in the past.

But there was no way that I could tell him the truth about SJ. Aside from the fact that it was far too big a burden to put on him … he’d never believe me anyway. He’d think I’d finally lost the plot. I mean, it was the most ridiculous predicament—having temporarily handed over one’s soul for a box of gluten-free donuts.

No, he didn’t need to be dragged into this nonsense.

So I opened my mouth, and for the first time since we’d met on the very first day of high school, I outright lied to Ezra.

* * *

“So …” Ezra’s voice was muffled around a mouthful of peace-offering donut. “You literally fell over him while getting donuts, he invited you to take a walk with him … and you two made plans to share Thai takeaway at home, while I was out with Humphrey?”

“Uh huh!” I replied, nodding enthusiastically.

Don’t oversell it, Bliss!

“And you decided not to tell me any of this because …”

I cleared my throat, reaching for the final donut. “Because I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to … I dunno, one up you or something, since you’d finally gotten your act together with Humphrey.”

“And … things went well enough that he couldn’t stay away even for a week, and he tracked you down at the hospital?”

“And again this morning, at brunch with Joe and—” I cut myself off suddenly. My brain was addled enough trying to keep this lie straight in my head without adding the complexity of reliving how Joe had foisted Chad on me that morning.

“And you’re certain he’s not a serial killer?”

I guffawed too loudly. “What the He-heck makes you think that?”

“Well, it’s a bit … stalkerish … don’t you think?”

I bit into my donut, thinking furiously. “I think …” I paused to swallow and take a long drink of my cup of tea. “I think it’s sweet. He’s … sweet.”

I bit my lip, hoping he hadn’t heard how I’d had to force out that word. Even if SJ had been just a tiny bit sweet, the way he’d held my hand under the table at brunch … until his thumb had started caressing up under my dress …

I blew out a breath. Not the time to be revisiting that … or the way his big palms had felt, caging in my waist, pressing me into the wall. Talking in that deep, cultured accent about ‘sordid bathroom romps’.

Was it getting hot in here?

Ezra bit into his donut, regarding me shrewdly. But not disbelievingly. I barely breathed while I waited to see if he’d bought my fib.

Finally, he swallowed his mouthful, and his lips split into a huge grin. “When do I get to meet him? Ooooh! We should go on a double date!”

My brain did a record scratch.

Nope. There was no way in the world I could introduce Ezra to SJ. Oh God, what if he decided that Ezra’s soul would be nice to try and collect as well? Or Humphrey’s? Did he just walk around Earth, seeing us all as a potential meal for whatever beasts awaited our souls in Hell?

My stomach churned. It had felt like a game, and yes, the stakes were high, but I’d never actually considered what would happen to me if he won.

“Jem?”

“Huh?” I blurted, blinking over at Ezra.

“Double date? Maybe tomorrow night?”

I shook my head. “He … uh … has to travel this weekend. That’s why he came to see me at brunch.” I shrugged, pasting a silly grin on my face. “Plus, you know, it’s new, and I kinda just want to …” I let my expression turn just a tiny bit lascivious. “Get to know him, just the two of us, a bit.” I waggled my eyebrows until Ezra faked gagging. “You know, I have to vet him properly before I deem him worthy of the official best friend introduction.”

Ezra clinked his teacup to mine. “Well, each to their own, I suppose. Clearly, I need your help to vet my potential love interests for me. And help me to actually talk to them, too, I guess.”

I grinned across at him, a little of the tension melting out of me. I could do this. I could keep this fake boyfriend story going while I won my soul back from SJ … and then we could have a very amicable breakup, and he would never be seen again without me having to expose Ezra to the Son of Satan even once.

Now, I just had to get serious about what I was going to do to make sure I couldn’t possibly lose my soul to SJ. Which, given I had no effing idea what he had in store for me next, was basically impossible.