Page 26

Chapter 25

Big and Red and … Glowing?

Jemma

B lackness. Utter dark.

I screamed.

Shampoo stung my eyes, but I was too petrified to move, to rinse them.

The memories began resurfacing, and I screamed again. And again. I vaguely realised I was screaming for him.

Had he finally decided to leave? But he’d promised that he would stay until I was in bed. Oh God, why had I been so insistent that I could do this on my own? My legs wobbled, giving way, and I slid down the shower wall, the water pummelling my head, washing away the suds.

He wasn’t coming. He wasn’t coming. He wasn’t …

“Jemma!” His voice was frantic, and the door burst open.

A shaky whimper burst out of me. A cry of relief.

“Are you unwell again? What can I do?”

“Light,” I mumbled, clutching my shaking knees to my chest. “Please, SJ!”

The flicking of the switch. That sound sent terror clawing up my spine, conjuring voices from long ago.

‘Fucking light’s out. She’s probably not in here.’

‘Better check, just to be sure.’

“Damn it … something is wrong with the electricity,” SJ muttered. “Should I go and?—”

“Please … make the dark go away, make it go …” I chanted the words, rocking under the spray, clenching my eyes tightly closed, my breaths coming in ragged gasps.

“Please, SJ … make it go.”

There was a ripping sound, and then a warm, red glow seeped through my eyelids. I cracked one eye open. Through the steam-fogged glass of the shower, I caught the outline of something—someone—big, and red, and … glowing?

“SJ?” I whispered, pressing my hand to the glass, rubbing away the steam. I squinted out at the enormous, devilish monster. Even without my glasses I could make out the black horns curling out of his blond hair, the tail lashing agitatedly.

He was naked, except for a very tight pair of black underwear. He leaned against the door, the rest of his human clothes a tattered pile at his feet. His red skin emitted a faint red light, which illuminated the bathroom and soothed me.

“You needed the dark to go away,” he explained. “This was the most expedient way, without me leaving you.”

My heart stuttered. Who was this man … male … devil … who wiped sweat from me and didn’t seem to be bothered by seeing me on the toilet, vomiting and pooping out gluten? Who seemed genuinely sorry for the pain he had caused me tonight? Who came when I screamed for him and made light for me to chase away my nightmares …?

“Thank you,” I mumbled, clambering to my feet. “Is it okay if you stay here, just while I rinse my shampoo out …?”

“You do whatever you need to do, Mouse. I’m going nowhere. Consider me your personal lantern for the duration.”

I bit my lip against the surge of emotion I felt as I tilted my head back, rinsing out the shampoo … and maybe also rinsing away a few stray tears, too.

* * *

“I’m ready for my towel,” I said, poking my head around the shower door after finishing my shampoo and conditioner routine, brushing my furry teeth, and just letting the warm water soothe the lingering ache in my belly.

SJ was very firmly staring at the ceiling as his skin bathed the room in warm, red light. He tugged my towel from the rack, spreading it for me, still looking anywhere but at my wet, naked body.

“Such a gentleman,” I remarked, an attempt at a joke. But my voice was still a little shaky, from my gluten ordeal and from the lurking memories the sudden blackout had dredged up.

“If you could see inside my head right now …” he muttered as I stepped into the towel, and he draped it over me. “You would not think of me as such.”

My heart stuttered, and not from fear this time.

I felt safe with him.

Which was the stupidest thing I could ever feel, for the devil who made dirty little remarks about what he may or may not be thinking about me. And who wanted my soul.

Does he, though? a little voice in the back of my head whispered. He could have taken it tonight, but he chose to let you win …

I couldn’t work the big guy out.

“Is the power still out?” I reached for the switch, flicking it. Nothing. My heart spiked again. “Uh, SJ, you’re gonna have to escort me to my bedroom, so I can dress.”

He reached for the door handle at the same time I did, his fingers grazing my arm. He was so warm. I wanted to nuzzle up to him, to bask in that heat. In his light that chased the shadows away.

He cleared his throat, opening the door and ushering me through. As he followed me the few steps down the hall to my bedroom, he was so close I could feel the brush of his body against the towel.

I shoved my glasses on and rummaged through my drawers, finding a fresh pair of pyjamas—a pink tank and a pair of lime green, satin boxers with little ferrets on them. I whirled, the towel slipping.

“Oh! Luci! She might be frightened from the blackout!”

SJ’s eyes slid down my body as I hurried to hitch the towel up. But he’d absolutely caught an eyeful of boob. His brows furrowed, and … had his horns gotten longer?

“I shall go and check on her, while you dress,” he grated, turning for the door. I leapt for him, latching onto his arm.

“No, stay here, please don’t … I can’t be alone in the dark. Please.”

He turned, glanced down at me, his nostrils flaring. The heat from his body was so much more intense suddenly. Was he … aroused? Did he get hotter when he was … getting hotter?

I went to clutch my towel tighter.

Oh.

It was hotter because I’d dropped my towel to grab his arm. My bare skin was so close to his huge, red … muscular … sexy … space-heater body.

“Dress yourself, Mouse.” His voice was rough, and he turned, adjusting himself in those skin-tight undies.

Oh.

Oh my.

The undies were not containing him. His whole body was enormous in his demon form. Every single part of him.

I scuttled back to my bed, tripping my way into my own undies. My lips were pressed tight together because … oh my God, the size of him!

“I’m decent,” I announced, tugging the PJ top down over my boobs. He turned towards me, his jaw tight. Almost as tight as those Y-fronts. There was no mistaking the shape of him, tucked to the side. He’d managed to get himself under control enough that it was no longer poking out the top of them.

“Let’s go,” he grated, but he reached for me, his hand gentle on my arm as he steered me to the laundry, lighting the way with his skin.

Luci was so unconcerned by the blackout that she was fast asleep, curled up inside her hammock.

“Okay,” I whispered. “We can go back to my room now.”

SJ’s jaw twitched, but again, he did my bidding, returning with me to the bedroom, standing just inside the door while I wrung the worst of the water from my hair, pulled back the covers and climbed under the quilt with a yawn.

He watched me warily. I rubbed my sore belly.

“You … you know what would go a long way towards that recompense?” I asked before I lost my nerve. But I couldn’t have him leave. I didn’t want to be alone in the dark. I didn’t want to have to call Ezra and ruin his night to make him come home to babysit me.

No … I wanted SJ to be the one here with me.

“I do not know,” SJ replied, a hint of humour in his tone. “How can I be of service?”

“You could … stay. And be my nightlight. And …” I patted the empty side of the bed. “… also my hot water bottle? You know, since I wouldn’t have these tummy pains if it wasn’t for you.”

That was underhanded, and I felt a pang of guilt at the way his face crumpled just slightly. But he did take a tentative step towards the bed.

“You wish me to lie with you? Like this? In this form?”

I swallowed back what I really wanted to say—which was something along the lines of, ‘It’s my every naughty fantasy coming to life, getting into bed with a big, horned beast’—and instead, I said, “Night light, remember? Pretty sure you can’t glow like that in your human form.”

He stepped closer again, and again. He sat on the edge, facing away from me. His back was so broad, the muscles defined. He muttered something that I swear sounded like, “The way I’m feeling right now, Mouse, I think I’d light up the night in any form.”

My breath caught in my throat, and my heart kicked into overdrive. And not for fearful reasons.

This was anticipation I was feeling.

I was in so much trouble.

For such a big, beastly devil, he was surprisingly graceful as he slid into the bed beside me. But he did take up a good three-quarters of my queen-size, and he rotated his feet, untucking the sheets at the end, his feet sticking out.

“Where is your pain?” he asked gruffly, tugging the covers over us.

“My … my abdomen, mostly,” I mumbled, then squeaked when he wrapped an arm around me and tugged me to him, spooning me. His huge, hot palm splayed across my lower belly.

“Better?” he murmured.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak. I was being cuddled by a big red devil, who only wanted to take away my pain and alleviate my fear.

I should be furious about what he did to me tonight. But everything he’d done since I started getting sick made it harder and harder for me to feel angry with him.

But I needed to hold onto some of it. Needed to remind myself that while this, right now, was … wonderful … he was still out to steal my soul.

I don’t think he is, though … it doesn’t feel that way anymore …

I was going to have to shut that little voice up.

“I can’t believe you listened to that pimply little moron at the donut stand!” I finally blurted. “He’s barely finished puberty. What would he know about gluten allergy?”

SJ was quiet for a long moment.

“I—stupidly, in hindsight—assumed that he was knowledgeable and would answer my questions accurately.” He inhaled deeply. Was he sniffing my hair? If he was, I didn’t hate it.

“I … would like to apologise, for tonight, Jemma.”

Oh.

Oh wow.

I couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe. Could only lie there, snug in his warm, all-encompassing arms, and … feel. I didn’t think any man in my life had ever, ever apologised to me before when they had wronged me. Not Chad. Certainly not Joe.

When he spoke, his lips brushed against my temple. “I had … misgivings before I went through with it. But please … I need you to believe me that I would never have … had I known the extent of it …”

“I forgive you,” I blurted, then snapped my mouth shut. Did I forgive him?

Oh my God. I did.

“You … you do?” His voice was low, husky. His breath fanned over my ear, making me shiver. “Are you cold, Mouse?” He pulled me closer.

“I … no. I’ve never felt warmer.” I relaxed into his embrace, letting the warmth wash over me. The soreness in my belly was already easing from his touch.

“So … are you going to tell me why you hate the dark so much?”

Shit.

I’d been doing such a good job of pretending that hadn’t happened. It was easy in the warm glow of his body, to forget the darkness … and the memories it dredged up.

“Lots of people are scared of the dark,” I hedged, but my voice was wobbly, and I shivered.

“But not to the point where they scream the way you did, I’d wager.” He moved his hands in small, comforting circles on my belly. “Talk to me, Mouse.”

Pressure built in my chest. Words that I’d never really told anyone except the police, they were clamouring to come out. My heart thundered. And suddenly, one of his hands slid up my belly, pressing against my chest. The warmth, the glowing light, it eased the edge of my panic.

“Do you promise you won’t use this against me, SJ?” I asked, buying time, scrambling to get my chaotic emotions under control. “I don’t want to spill my secrets to you only to find them thrown back in my face in a week’s time.”

“I promise. I will not use anything you tell me tonight to hurt you.”

I believed him. It was probably stupid, but I believed him.

“When I was ten, my parents were murdered.”