Page 60 of My Ex-Best Men (Ex Marks the Spot #4)

***Will***

I stretched out on the couch across from Zane and Anthony as we waited for Claire to come back down after changing.

I kept waiting for some kind of shift in my emotions, like the anger would change into sadness at the loss of a friend, but it didn’t happen.

I kept thinking of all the times I’d changed plans and missed things I’d wanted to do because Madeline called and needed something.

She’d been demanding my time and attention for years but I’d always been clear that we were just friends.

I thought we were good friends. It pissed me off to know that she had ulterior motives the entire time.

I was angry at myself, too, for being dumb enough to fall for her bullshit. I’d hurt Claire and every time she looked at me I worried she’d see Madeline. I’d told her I loved her but she hadn’t said it back. It wasn’t fair to expect her to after everything that had gone down but it was killing me.

“You did the right thing.” Anthony leaned forward and rubbed his temples. “Ending the friendship, I mean.”

Zane nodded. “She would’ve never left you alone.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “I’m not upset about ending the friendship. I’m pissed about the years I spent being her friend. I’m pissed that she hurt Claire. I’m pissed that I was stupid enough to let it all happen the way it did. I should’ve known better.”

“Anything else?” Anthony smirked.

“Yeah, actually.” I tugged at my hair. “I’m a little pissed that Claire left and still hasn’t clarified how she feels about us.

Not at her, but just… I don’t know. Maybe I am pissed at her.

We’re each twisting ourselves into something new to be with her.

You think I ever imagined being with the woman I love would include sharing her with two other assholes?

Two other assholes who make a fuck ton more money than me?

I’m fighting all kinds of shit to be with her.

Insecurities I didn’t even know I had are showing up.

I fucking checked out my ass a few days ago, wondering if it looked good enough to stand up next to a rockstar and a man who owns his own private jet.

“I fucked up. I know it. I’ll never forget how easily I hurt her and I’ll work for the rest of my life to make sure I treat her like she deserves. I just want a little bit in return. Some fucking sign that she’s here with us, that she’s not biding her time to get rid of me.”

Anthony blew out a deep breath. “I’m a giant fucking nerd.”

Zane and I just stared at him, waiting to see where he was going.

“I mean… I’ve always been the odd man out.

I was a virgin until Claire. And now that I have money I’m still a nerd but I’m a nerd with money and it’s brought out plenty of unsavory people wanting a bit of what I have.

It took me a little longer than I’d like to admit to learn that not everyone who says they care actually gives a shit.

I used to be a nice guy. Now, I don’t even know if my face still has the muscles to smile most days.

Until coming here, anyway. I’m an asshole now.

A cold asshole.” He shrugged. “I’ve got my own shit that I’m insecure about, man.

She has just as much reason to get rid of me as she does to get rid of you.

I’m the one who fucking kidnapped her and tied her up. ”

We both looked at Zane and he stared back at us with a blank expression. “What? You want me to tell you everything that’s wrong with me now? I’m perfect. Keep waiting.”

I tossed a pillow at his head and he knocked it away. “Asshole.”

His smile faded slowly. “Honestly? You want to know everything wrong with me? Just look at any tabloid for the last decade. Drugs, drinking, arrests… I’ve been a fucking loser with a good voice for a long time now.

Just because I’m clean and don’t party the way I used to doesn’t mean I don’t still get that itch once in a blue moon.

I don’t tour anymore. When I do shows I practically run to hide by myself when it’s over.

The band hates me because they think I think I’m better than them.

A few weeks ago a woman threw her dirty panties at me and I cringed away from them so hard that I threw my back out.

My body is tired from living like an asshole and all I want to do is curl up with Claire and a book, or something.

I don’t know. I feel like I’m an old man already and I’m not sure I’m a catch. ”

I grunted. “What I’m hearing is that maybe Claire is right to not commit to us. We’re all fucked up.”

“I’m an asshole enough to not care that we don’t deserve her. We’ll work at it. There’s three of us. Put us together and that has to equal one good and decent man.” Anthony shook his head. “Surely.”

Zane snorted. “Between the three of us, we’ll make sure we get enough things right to win Claire over every day.”

“Where is she?” I rolled my neck from side to side. “This is cruel. I need to know what she’s thinking.”

“I’m here.” Claire slowly walked into the living room wearing one of my t-shirts like a dress with tears in her eyes.

My stomach twisted violently. “Claire?”

She held up her hands and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I was angry before but I should’ve told each of you how I feel so you weren’t just wondering.

I guess I thought it was obvious. I… I never thought you’d be worried that I was going to turn you away.

I look at the three of you and I see strong, confident men who don’t need reassuring but you do.

I thought I was the only one who felt insecure and lacking in this relationship. I’m sorry I didn’t look deeper.”

I wanted to grab her and shake her. I needed to hear the words.

“The bet was stupid. I’m still not happy about it but now that I know no one else was there to witness it, it takes the air out of my angry sails.

Everything else was just Madeline playing games, I guess.

I know your heart, Will, and I know you’d give anyone a dozen chances before cutting them off.

Of course, Madeline was able to prey on your goodness.

” She looked down and when she looked back at me, she did it through her lashes.

“But you cut her off for me. That shows me way more than some fake dead grandma comfort hug.”

I leaned closer. She still hadn’t said the words.

“I quit my job. I sent in my resignation letter upstairs. I don’t know if I even want to go back to clean out my apartment.

I’m ready for that part of my life to be over.

I want this. I want the three of you. I’m sorry I made you wait.

I think I needed to see how you handled Claire before I could tell you how I really feel.

Because, despite what the three of you seem to think, I’m far from perfect.

I’m jobless and I don’t think I want to go back to a typical job.

I want to write again. I can live off of my savings for a while but then I’m potentially going to be a mooch living in your home and eating your food while giving nothing back to the household.

I’m great at cleaning but my cooking could use some work.

I tend to run away from hard situations.

And I’m a chicken. I’m still terrified to tell the three of you that I love you because I’m convinced you’ll disappear.

“But I do. I love each of you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m sorry for running.

I should’ve stayed and confronted everything head on.

It’s something I’d like to work on.” She’d turned bright red as she confessed her love.

“If it’s possible, I want to keep all three of you as mine.

It’s greedy but it’s what I want. I think this only works if we’re all together.

So I think we should all have sex together. Together, together.”

All the blood drained from my head. I shot a horrified look at Anthony and Zane, hoping I was misunderstanding, but they each looked as appalled as I did.

Claire grinned. “Gotcha.”