Page 11 of My Ex-Best Men (Ex Marks the Spot #4)

***Claire***

U ncle Sal ran his eyes over the barely dressed man and fanned himself. “Claire, this is my current beau, Cassius. Cassius, meet my grand-niece, Claire. She’s in town for a wedding and lost all her clothes. That’s the only reason she looks like that.”

Cassius walked over to me and ran his hands around my shoulders as he circled me. “You’ve shown her the closet?”

I let myself ogle Cassius’ muscles because they were completely safe. No attached baggage in any way. “Wow. Just…wow.”

He suddenly gripped my waist and squeezed before doing the same to my ass. “Oh, yes, the clothes you chose will fit her perfectly, Sal. Your body is beautiful, Claire. Why would you hide it in such…interesting clothing?”

I danced away from his wandering hands and looked to Uncle Sal. “Is he always so handsy?”

“Oh, so much more, honey.” He puffed at his cigarette but it’d gone out minutes earlier. “Be a dear and let Cassius dress you while I finish updating you about my lovers.”

If Cassius minded hearing details about Uncle Sal’s previous lovers, he didn’t show it. He kept focused on his task of pulling and shoving my body into so many different clothing items that I stopped paying attention.

“And before Cassius there was Bruno. Such a feisty lover but he didn’t want to share me with Cassius so I waved him goodbye.” Uncle Sal watched Cassius and smiled. “For now, Cassius is holding my attention nicely.”

“You hold mine just as well, Sal.” The younger man plucked at a few strands of my hair and winced. “Does it always do…that?”

I scowled at him then, tired of being insulted. “My hair doesn’t like Florida, thank you very much.”

“It’s just that your hair is distracting from the clothes.” He looked me over. “And the body. Stay right there. I’ll be right back.”

I looked down at myself and gaped. “No. Freaking. Way. Is this…? Uncle Sal! Are you kidding me? Did your boyfriend really just dress me up like Pretty Woman Barbie?!”

“You can’t go wrong with a short skirt, honey.

And you need to show off your stomach while you still can.

As soon as you decide to join the herd and pop out a couple of kids, it’ll never be the same.

” He studied me closer and wagged his finger.

“Once Cassius is done with your hair, I’ll have him add a bit of makeup.

You can’t go out looking like your face just came home from the office when your body looks like it’s heading out for sin. ”

The two men were a force that I couldn’t fight, especially when Cassius used a hellish amount of hairspray to tame my hair and Uncle Sal kept poking at my boobs while talking about how he didn’t get them.

I felt like I’d fought ten rounds with Mike Tyson by the time they finished with me.

The two of them looked thrilled with my finished look but I was too scared to look. I didn’t want to know.

“What are you doing today? We should’ve asked that before finishing the look.” Cassius slapped my hand away from where I’d been pulling at the dress hem. “Stop it. You have long, sexy legs. One look at you and men are going to imagine them wrapped around their heads.”

I choked on a breath mint and he had to touch up my eyeliner after I cried part of it away.

Still wheezing, I went over the plan I had burned into my brain.

“Most of the wedding bridal party is arriving today. Once everyone gets settled in we’ll get together for dinner.

The real events don’t start until tomorrow.

I’ll need something tamer to wear for tomorrow if my suitcase doesn’t arrive.

I’m hosting a luncheon for the other ladies in the wedding.

This would not be appropriate for a luncheon. Can we agree on that?”

Cassius waved me off but Uncle Sal shrugged his elegant shoulders.

“We’ll see. Now that you’re dressed to hang out with me let’s go sit outside and enjoy the sun.

You’re looking a little London pale. Cassius, put together a bag for my beautiful niece, please.

She needs night clothing and something to wear tomorrow morning on her way over here. ”

“If my suitcase doesn’t arrive.” I realized when I was being ignored and rolled my eyes. When Uncle Sal and I were sitting outside, I glanced back at the trailer and kept my voice quiet. “Are you serious about him?”

That earned me another twinkling laugh. “Have you ever known me to be serious about anything other than fashion and having a good time?”

“How did I turn out to be a serial monogamist?” I tilted my head to the side as I thought about my last few years of dating. “Well. I don’t know if you’d call the last few years monogamy when none of the relationships lasted more than a few months each.”

“If you were only with one dick at a time, it was monogamy, honey. Boring .” Lighting his cigarette again, Uncle Sal waved it at me. “What happened to that last bag of dust you were seeing?”

“Jordan?” I snorted. “I caught him cheating on me with the woman he’d introduced as his sister. She wasn’t actually his sister, but I’m not sure that makes me feel any better about the whole thing.”

“Good riddance.” He got a twinkle in his eye that made me nervous. “You know who I see around all the time that is one fine hunk of man meat?”

I groaned, knowing where he was going.

“That Will Callahan. I saw him coming out of a burning building a few months ago and I swear to you I felt the holy spirit move through me, honey. That man could melt panties and impregnate ladies with a single glance.”

I was saved from having to answer by my phone ringing. I jumped to grab it from my purse and ignored the knowing look Uncle Sal sent me. Seeing that it was Soph calling I answered it with a twinge of guilt burning in my gut. “Soph? What’s up?”

“You might want to get back to the hotel, babe. There’s been a few…developments.”

I immediately imagined her dress in shreds or the hotel on fire. “Are you okay? I’ll be right there. I’m at Uncle Sal’s.”

“I’m good. I’ll send Jake to get you.” She hung up before I could refuse.

“I’ve got to go. Apparently, something’s happening at the hotel.” I glanced down at myself once more and sighed. “You’d tell me if I looked like a street walker, wouldn’t you?”

Cassius stepped out of the trailer with a hot pink leather duffle bag. “Cassius doesn’t do that kind of street wear, Claire. If you’re too afraid to look hot, just say so.”

I shot a look at Uncle Sal. “I don’t remember any of the others being so mouthy at me.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “Maybe I’ll keep him around then. I do love to see you challenged, honey. Now go handle your straight people wedding problems.”