Page 34 of Murder & Mayhem (Bloody Desires #9)

DOMINIC

G ideon easily grabbed the phone before it crashed to the floor. Which was good because my focus was solely on Jamie as his knees buckled and he started to fall. I caught him, bringing him close.

Jamie’s nails dug into my shoulder blades as he tried to get even closer to me.

I had decided to take a shower after Jamie had left, hoping it would put everything into perspective.

It hadn’t. Then, I’d still been drying off when Gid had called for me.

I had thrown on a pair of basketball shorts, which was the first thing I’d seen, but I hadn’t bothered with anything else.

My mostly nakedness didn’t bother Jamie now, and I gently guided us to the closest chair.

I didn’t even think about what I was doing before I sat and dragged Jamie onto my lap.

It was probably fucked up with how shit had ended with us, but I was in full caretaker mode, and the idea of not having Jamie within reach was painful.

He didn’t argue or fight, coming willingly.

“I have to go,” he whispered once we were settled.

Gideon was on the phone, probably with Ari.

He was walking with purpose to the hidden wall safe we had between the kitchen and living areas as he talked.

I let him handle all that. My only concern was currently wiggling on my lap, torn between taking the comfort he so desperately needed and running to get his brother.

“You can’t. It’s a trap. Bailey even said it.”

Jamie shook his head. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were bloodshot like he had been. It was like he was all out of tears. “It doesn’t matter. I still gotta go. If there’s a chance it’ll work, that they’ll trade us, I have to try.”

The desire to tie him to my bed until we found Bailey was strong. Instead, I tightened my arms around him. “What did Bailey mean when he said he was damaged?”

Maybe it wasn’t the smoothest topic change, but until Gid got off the phone with Ari and I at least had an idea of what was happening, I needed to keep Jamie here and relatively calm.

He deflated. “He was . . . injured on the left side of his face when he was younger. He can’t hear out of his left ear, and his left eye is practically useless.

The ear is only noticeable if you look inside, then you can see some of the scarring, though it goes deep.

” It hurt to see how clinical Jamie was talking about it.

I knew it killed him. All these poor boys understood was pain and suffering, and he talked about it like it was an everyday occurrence because for them, it was.

“His eye, it’s more obvious. But Bailey wears thick glasses with sun transition in them.

They probably didn’t even notice it when they took him, and Joey made a point of keeping that shit to himself.

Paychecks go down for physical damage like that.

I doubt O’Malley even knew. Besides, he usually chose me. ”

I kissed the top of Jamie’s head. “We’ll get him, sweetheart. I swear on my brothers’ lives, I’ll find a way to get him back. But you can’t go. We’ll find another way.”

Gideon chose that moment to walk in. “Actually . . .”

Gid was fucking lucky I had a lap full of Jamie, otherwise I would’ve murdered him.

“You better not be fucking insinuating he trades himself. Because that will be the last fucking thing you ever say.”

Gideon rolled his eyes and took the seat beside us.

He had a duffel bag already loaded with weapons that he put on the floor next to us.

“Always so damn dramatic. Obviously not. But, I just had Ari and Diego, Luca’s tech guy, on the line.

They’re coming by the way. Ari was already on the road, and Brooks and Skye, the two who were staking out the place, are meeting here too.

The rest of Il Fortunato are on standby.

Anyway, we think the best bet to get in there is for them to think Jamie is falling for their trap.

He’ll have cameras on him, and he’ll be able to hear us the whole time.

And of course, we’ll be there. Once we get visuals, we’ll swoop in and handle business. He’ll never be in danger.”

“Hell fucking no.”

“I’ll do it.”

Jamie clawed his way out of my arms and turned to face me, hands on his hips.

“Excuse me?”

I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my temper, but all I could see was Jamie bruised and bloody, chained and used . . . and it was hard to stay reasonable with that image invading every thought.

“It’s too dangerous, Jamie. You can’t even use a fucking gun. I won’t allow you to throw yourself to the wolves. Fuck no.” Well, so much for staying reasonable. Even Gideon winced.

“You won’t allow me to? Well, thanks for that, but last I checked, you have no fucking control over me.

It’s my brother. My decision. I’ve been letting you take the lead in this because y’all know what you’re doing, but not for this.

” He turned to Gideon, showing his back to me, like the conversation was over. “What do I need to do?”

I saw fucking red. Launching to my feet, I spun Jamie around so he was facing me. “You don’t turn away from me! You’re not going. End of fucking discussion. It’s too dangerous, and I won’t fucking lose you.”

Jamie shoved my chest. It wasn’t hard, but it took me by surprise and I staggered back a few steps.

“You never had me to fucking lose, asshole! If this Daddy thing means you think you can control what I do and my decisions to care for my family, then fuck that. I don’t care how nice it feels when you hold me close and call me good boy.

I spent my whole fucking life having no choices, spending every minute living in terror and trying to survive.

And I won’t go back!” Angry tears sprouted in his eyes.

He shoved at me again before stepping back and slamming his hands against his chest. “I won’t do it!

This is my life. My brother. I get to decide if I want to risk it, not you. ”

Some of the wind left my sails. I was still absolutely against this plan, but I could understand why Jamie felt the way he did.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I shouldn’t have said things the way I did. I’m not trying to control you, but I need you to be reasonable. You’re going to get yourself killed if you go, and I don’t think I could bear that.”

“And I’m sorry if that will hurt you,” Jamie replied, much quieter now.

He was clawing at his thighs again. “I’m not trying to do that.

And maybe this will sound shitty and selfish, but your feelings about this didn’t factor in my decision at all.

I like you, Dominic. I really fucking do.

But I’ll choose my brother over everyone, every fucking time, especially a guy I met yesterday, no matter how attracted I am to him.

I’m sorry you don’t like this choice. But it’s mine to make.

Only mine. I’m doing it, and if you were there to support me through it, I’d be grateful, but I understand if you can’t. The conversation is done now.”

Once again, Jamie turned away from me. His whole body was shaking and deep scratch marks lined his bare thighs.

Even now, he was still digging into the poor flesh.

It was killing me, but Jamie’s words were fresh in my brain.

This wasn’t about me. It was Jamie’s choice, not mine, and short of tying him up and leaving him here, which was pretty tempting, there was nothing I could do to change that.

“What’s the plan?” Jamie asked Gideon, voice a little shaky as he struggled to keep it together.

Gid met my eyes over Jamie’s head. His expression was a mix of an apology and you fucked up, man .

Then he looked at Jamie. “While you two were . . . talking, the text with the meeting place came through. You’re supposed to be there at midnight.

Ari is twenty minutes away, and Brooks and Skye are about thirty.

Once they’re here, we’ll all get together and come up with a plan.

The priority will be to keep you safe and to get Bailey.

” That was for me as much as Jamie, made more obvious when Jamie shrugged, indifferent. “As long as you can save Bailey.”

Gid stopped me with a look before I could step in again. I had to keep my fucking mouth shut.

Jamie shifted, feeling uncomfortable. I wanted to hold him so badly, but I knew it wouldn’t be welcome. “If we have some time, I need a little space. Can I go in the yard?”

No! “Sure,” Gid said instead. “There’s privacy fencing and cameras everywhere. Stay where the lights hit. And here.” He handed Jamie the phone. “I think it’s better if you have this. ”

“Okay, thanks.”

Jamie shoved the phone in the hoodie’s pocket and turned toward the door. His eyes met mine briefly before he looked away, but it was long enough to see the sadness shining there. Something about it had my heart in my throat. “Jamie! Don’t do anything stupid, alright? Wait for them to make a plan?”

“Thanks for the reminder that you think I’m too stupid to make any decisions for myself. I might be willing to die to save Bailey, but I don’t actually have a death wish, Dominic. I’ll listen to the experts who are thinking clearly, and not with their dicks.”

He stomped out of the room and out of my vision. I heard the storm door open and slam shut, loud enough the windows shook. I winced.

Gideon squeezed my shoulder sympathetically. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone single-handedly destroy their own shot like that before. You self-destructed, bro.”

I groaned. “Fuck off.”

Seconds later, the door opened again, and Jamie stomped in, all red-faced. He ignored me entirely and asked Gideon, “Do you have pants?”

Gid laughed and I glowered at him. He responded to Jamie, but I left before I could make things worse. The room Ari usually slept in was on the first floor, so I was easily able to get a pair of his plain black sleep pants and bring them back before Gid even left the room.

I stayed silent as I handed them to Jamie.

He hesitated, like he was tempted not to take them because I was the one who provided them to him, but he finally sighed and snatched them out of my hand.

“Thanks,” he murmured a little sullenly.

He put them on, at least, before once again turning away from me and going back outside .

I stared after him helplessly. Gideon shoulder bumped me. “He’ll be okay. We’ll make sure he’s safe. You know I’ll protect him with my own life.”

“You wouldn’t have to if he kept his ass here.”

The look Gideon gave me would have the strongest of people cowering in fear.

“I think he made it clear it wasn’t your decision, Nicky.

It’s the best way to lure them out and handle this safely and efficiently.

You either need to get on board and be the support your boy so desperately needs or step back, stay away, and let us handle it.

He needs to be fully focused, not worried about you or what you might do or say. ”

Gideon walked away then to coordinate everything, leaving me alone in my self-loathing and deep in my thoughts as I tried to decide if I was capable of keeping my mouth shut and not dragging Jamie out by the scruff of his neck if I participated in this job.

I hated how much I wasn’t sure of the answer.