Page 30 of Murder & Mayhem (Bloody Desires #9)

Jamie rewarded me with a small smile. It didn’t go all the way to his eyes, but it was genuine, so I would take it. It became a personal goal to get Jamie to smile. If I could erase even a little bit of that sadness in those eyes of his, I’d consider my life complete.

Once his pants were off, I took a moment to show him how much he deserved to be worshipped. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, so I stayed away from his cock and ass, but ran my hands up and down his sides, his chest, his stomach, caressing his skin and hopefully making him feel good.

“So fucking beautiful,” I whispered. Jamie rolled his eyes and tried to look away. I pinched his chin, bringing his head forward and pressing my forehead against his before he could move .

“I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

“You’re gonna be real tired of talking.”

I laughed. “Challenge accepted, brat. Why don’t you get under the covers? I don’t want you to get cold while I undress.”

Jamie dove under the sheets.

“You’ve got the best fucking blankets,” Jamie muttered, burying his face into the fabric. Was it possible to be jealous of a bedspread? Because I fucking was.

“I’ll get you some.” It was a dumb response, one that implied more for us but also that I wanted Jamie to stay somewhere other than my own bed.

Which I didn’t. I was also reasonable enough to understand that this wasn’t a forever thing.

Even if after we got Bailey, we tried to make a relationship work, we needed to take a step back.

Make things healthy or some shit. Either way, I shouldn’t be offering to buy him bedding or thinking about getting him new clothes, or how he seemed to really like the fleece socks I’d traded out for his worn ones with holes this morning.

Jamie was watching me curiously, his expression complicated. Thankfully, he didn’t call me out on my slipup. He upnodded toward my clothes. “I don’t like being the only one naked, Nicky. It reminds me of things.”

Was it bad I loved hearing the way he said Nicky, even when I didn’t like the rest of what he said?

“Sorry.” I removed the rest of my clothes. Soon, I was as naked as Jamie. My dick hadn’t gotten the memo that plans had changed, so it was getting hard again with a naked Jamie rolling around in my sheets. He eyed it a little warily.

“I can’t control how my body reacts, sweetheart, but I swear to you I won’t act on it. I can put underwear on if it makes you more comfortable. ”

Jamie chewed on his lip but didn’t answer. He seemed to be warring with himself.

“I won’t be upset either way,” I reminded him. Really, my only goal was to get under the blankets at this point. It was cold out here.

Jamie shrugged and buried his face in the mattress and yelled.

Taking his frustration as a sign, I went and grabbed some boxer briefs from the dresser.

I didn’t love wearing them, but I still owned them and kept them at all the houses.

I was glad for it now. Before getting into bed, I grabbed another pair.

They’d be too big, but I remembered what he’d said about being naked when the other person was dressed.

I wasn’t sure if boxers counted, but I wanted to offer.

He needed to understand he always had a choice.

I put mine on and climbed into the bed. My breath whooshed out in surprise when Jamie immediately turned to me, his face in my chest and his arms wrapping around my middle.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby boy. I’m right here.

” He left no space, the thin layer of fabric the only thing between us.

Jamie was pressed against me, and I could feel him, still mostly soft, below my belly button.

He didn’t seem to even realize how intimate this felt, and I wasn’t going to be the one to break it.

“Nicky,” he whispered, and fuck, how badly I wanted it to be Daddy coming out of his lips. But I had no right to ask that yet.

“I got you, sweetheart.” I tightened my arms around him, and because it didn’t seem to be enough, I wrapped my legs around him too, holding him against me.

I almost told him again that he could stop at any time, but I could feel the tension ease inch by inch and I didn’t want to end that by reminding him of his trauma.

I had to trust he would tell me if he needed space, and I would stay aware of any changes in his body language.

Feeling his dick up against me was already a lot, but then my boy shifted his face and before I could even get it together enough to breathe, his mouth was around my left nipple.

It wasn’t sexual. That, I was sure of. The way he was sucking and whimpering, he wasn’t trying anything besides self-soothing.

I hadn’t really noticed an oral fixation or anything like that, but he was getting something out of this, and if he got comfort by sucking, I was thrilled for him to get it from me. I wanted him to.

But my nipples had always been sensitive, and the little sucking motions he kept making as his lips moved were destroying me slowly. My dick was so fucking hard, it could cut through glass. I took a few breaths and closed my eyes.

Eventually, the sucking stopped, though his mouth stayed exactly where it was. My nipple was gonna be chafed, but that was so far down my list of worries. Jamie’s breath evened out and he finally fell asleep. I kissed the top of his head. “I got you, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you always.”

I drifted off, hoping I’d be able to keep my whispered promise.