Page 91 of Mr. Perfect
Felix turned his head and studied Jude as he drove. Jude’s face was more angular now, having lost the rounded softness of youth. His mouth was firmer, and he smiled less. The most significant changes were in Jude’s eyes though. His navy blue irises were achingly familiar when Felix glimpsed laughter and mirth dancing in them. Other times, Jude’s gaze took on the hardness of a predatory bird stalking its prey. And with good reason. Jude’s entire life had been turned upside down over the past year.
And who had Jude sought out for help? Who had he trusted with the truth? Felix. He would do everything in his power to help Jude get justice for his father, but it wasn’t Felix’s primary goal. He wanted to see Jude frown less and smile more. Felix wanted to coax those dimples out of hiding and see laughter return to Jude’s eyes.
Jude glanced over at Felix, and his worry was etched in the furrowed brow and fine line bracketing Jude’s mouth. The boy who’d stolen Felix’s heart still lived inside the brawny, beautiful man. It was time the two halves joined to form the whole. Felix just wasn’t sure how to start the conversation.
Jude pulled over and shifted the car into park. “What’s wrong, Ace?”
Felix parted his lips to say something, anything, but the only thing passing through them was a shaky breath. “You told your mom about me back in college.” It wasn’t a question or accusation. Felix spoke the words with as much awe as he’d felt when he’d read Jill’s remark.
“Of course, I told her about you. She heard the happiness in my voice when I called home and saw it on my face when I visited. I wasn’t ashamed of you or us.”
“She must’ve thought I was a complete asshole for not giving you a chance to explain the situation with Cooper,” Felix said.
Jude shook his head. “I never told her the full story. I just told her I messed up and ruined our relationship.”
“Why would you take the full blame?”
“So many reasons. I knew Coop was a problem and should’ve insisted on a different roommate. I knew you were skittish, and I shouldn’t have let things get physical between us until you trusted me.”
Felix snorted. “You’re analyzing the situation with an adult’s brain and not the one belonging to a horny, teenage virgin.”
“True,” Jude admitted. “When things went tits up, I didn’t fight hard enough.”
“It wouldn’t have worked no matter how hard you tried. I wasn’t ready to hear it, let alone believe it.” The realization didn’t hit Felix between the eyes; it slowly unfurled in his soul like a rare flower that only blooms beneath a full moon during the summer solstice. In this case, it was rarer still and only blooms once in a lifetime. “I think I finally understand the crux of the issue.”
“Yeah?”
Felix nodded. “We weren’t in the right place in our lives to fully appreciate the connection we shared. We clicked intellectually and physically, but I lagged emotionally. I didn’t like myself, so no matter what you said or did, I wouldn’t have believed you capable of liking me. It was so much easier to accept betrayal.”
Jude leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Felix’s. “And now?”
Felix slid his hand into Jude’s hair, loving the silky slide of the strands through his fingers. “I’ll never fully banish doubt and insecurity, because I’ve used them as glue to keep the chip on my shoulder in place. But I do like myself, and I really like you.”
“Just like?” Jude teased.
It was too soon to claim anything more profound. Just a few weeks ago, Felix refused to admit the truth even to himself. “I like you a whole lot,” he said as a nod to compromise.
Jude chuckled, then flashed his dimples at Felix. “Good enough. For now.” He gave Felix a quick kiss before straightening in his seat. After checking his mirrors, Jude shifted the car in drive and merged back into traffic. “About dinner? What are you in the mood for?”
“You. All I want is you.”
Jude flipped on the turn signal and ducked down the next side street.
“This isn’t the way to your house,” Felix said.
“Your house is closer.”
They pulled up in front of Felix’s house a few minutes later. Felix expected Jude to jump out of his car right away, but he cautiously scanned the area.
“Looking for snipers or henchmen?” Felix asked.
Jude scoffed. “Killer peacocks.”
“Tracey is still at work, so Pete and Pearl aren’t roaming free yet.”
Jude wasn’t taking any chances. He kept his eyes peeled while they headed toward the house. Felix slid the key into the deadbolt and glanced over his shoulder at Jude as he turned the lock. Jude was braced for attack, and so fucking cute Felix couldn’t stop himself from yelling, “Get ’m, Pete,” just to watch Jude’s reaction.
Jude didn’t disappoint. He barreled them through the door and slammed it closed. Felix nearly doubled over laughing at the panicked expression on the big guy’s face.