Page 8 of Miracles and Marriage (Making a Family #5)

The next morning passed in a blur of phone calls, visits from neighbors. Several ladies brought casseroles, for which Cal thanked them profusely. He knew many of the people who stopped by.

Zoe helped where she could, but the majority of the work fell on Cal.

Then there was the somber ride to the church and then the cemetery the next day. Zoe was glad for Cal’s sake the turnout for the funeral had been substantial. Hal Larkins had been important in his circle of friends. Many stopped to speak to Cal.

Almost half followed the hearse to the cemetery.

The graveside service was brief. Zoe was moved by the minister’s words.

She glanced at Cal standing at her side.

His face could have been carved from stone.

She slipped her hand into his and was startled by the sudden grip he gave.

He didn’t relinquish her hand during the service.

Finally the last words had been said. The last mourners had drifted from the casket. Only Zoe and Cal remained.

“It’s time to go,” she said softly.

“I know.”

She waited a moment, then gave his hand a squeeze and pulled free.

“Say your goodbyes, I’ll wait at the car.”

The minister stood near the vehicles. He spoke to her as she approached.

“Hal was a fine man. He did his best with his nephew.”

“Cal will always miss him, I’m sure,” she said.

“Hal was sure proud of him. He often caught me up on some dignitary Cal was guarding. Or some exotic location he visited. It’ll seem strange not to have Hal on the left side of the church Sunday mornings.

Be sure to remind Cal there will be a meal at the church.

The ladies have been working all morning, and many of the mourners will be there.

Not quite an Irish wake, but close. We’ve even rounded up some pictures from Hal’s life.

Cal figured prominently in lots of them. ”

“We’ll be there,” she promised.

It was another ten minutes before Cal walked back to the car.

Zoe reminded him of what the minister had said.

“I hate having to attend. But I will. Uncle Hal would have wanted that. I remember attending those after-funeral meals when I lived with him.”

“A way of celebrating a life,” she murmured. “His friends will want to talk about him, and give you their condolences.”

It was late afternoon by the time Cal turned into the driveway to the old house.

“I’m beat,” he said. “I’d much rather devise strategies to foil terrorists than have to do that again. But then, I won’t ever have to, will I?”

“Friends will die, there will be other funerals. It’s a part of life.”

“It sucks.”

Zoe nodded.

“After all we ate you probably won’t want dinner, but I can make a light snack later, if you like. We’ll need something before bed,” she said.

He looked at her. His eyes dark and deep.

“Thank you for coming. I did need someone, but didn’t realize how much until today. It helped not to be alone.”

The rest of the evening was spent separately.

Zoe expected he wanted time alone. She roamed the house and found a mystery book in the living room that looked intriguing.

Settling in the comfortable sofa, she read away the hours.

By the time it was close to her bedtime, she began to get hungry. Rising, she went in search of Cal.

He sat on the stoop at the back door, off the kitchen. It was chilly, but Cal seemed unconcerned with the breeze. The yard was dark, the trees devoid of leaves. Nothing could be seen, except with memory’s eye.

She sat beside him.

“You doing okay?” she asked.

Even if he weren’t she suspected he wouldn’t tell anyone. Had he had a close relationship with his uncle or always been rather independent`?

They sat in silence for a moment, then he spoke.

“Something like this changes one’s perspective on life.”

“I guess.”

“If I’d ever thought about it, I’d have figured him to live to be a hundred. Yet, my mother died young, their parents died before either one reached seventy. I should have thought about that.”

“And done what? You said no one suspected he wasn’t in robust health. Sometimes these things just happen,” Zoe said.

“And they could happen to me, as well.”

“Maybe. But you’re not your uncle. And half your genes come from another family, maybe one whose members do live to be one hundred. Don’t borrow trouble, as my grandmother Elaine always says.”

He looked at her in the twilight.

“How is the baby quest going?”

“I haven’t found anyone yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“But you’re still looking, right? I saw the list of attributes you’re seeking.”

She shrugged.

“I’m trying to match my take of men with what I want. I noticed you made notes. Interested?” she ended on a joke.

She was embarrassed he knew about her criteria.

“Yes.”

Zoe blinked and stared at him. “What?”

“I am interested. Uncle Hal’s death changes a lot of things for me.

I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon.

I’m the last of my family. When I die, there will be no one to mourn my passing, no one to carry on with knowledge of me in their minds and memories.

I want a child, maybe more than one, to be on earth when I’m gone.

And I want their mother to be someone I can trust.”

“What about one of those women you’re always dating?” she asked.

For some reason Zoe had trouble wrapping her mind around the idea of Cal wanting to father her baby.

Yet, wasn’t that what she was looking for? A man like Cal to be her baby’s father? Maybe that was the key—a man like Cal, not Cal himself.

“Let me tell you about the last woman I dated. Suzanne Victor was—is—beautiful. She dressed fashionably, could carry a conversation with anyone in Washington and has a beautiful apartment. Her parties are legend. But she’s a cold, unfeeling woman who wants nothing more than to be feted and idolized. ”

“Oh. That’s why you stopped seeing her,” Zoe guessed, surprised by the cold assessment.

“No, I stopped seeing her because she killed our baby.”

Zoe couldn’t breathe for a moment. Had she heard him right?

“You two had a baby and she killed it?”

She’d never heard anything like that from Cal.

“She became pregnant and aborted the child because she didn’t want stretch marks marring her skin and didn’t want morning sickness interrupting her life.

I didn’t know until the deed had been done.

I can never forget. It was pure vanity on her part.

A thoughtless, self-centered action that gave no thought to anyone else. ”

Zoe didn’t know what to say. She yearned for a baby so much she couldn’t think of anything else. How could a woman abort her own baby for such a frivolous reason? She didn’t understand.

“My mother sacrificed her life so I could be born,” Cal continued.

“You’re risking your health holding off that operation to have a baby.

I want someone like that to be the mother of my child.

Not some vain, selfish, self-centered woman who’s more concerned with dresses and parties than the health and well-being of a child.

I added to your list on a whim. Or maybe it was fate without knowing what was coming.

Not that it matters. Did I pass sufficiently that you’d consider me for your baby’s father? ”

“This is awkward,” Zoe said. “I mean, you know what I want, but somehow I thought I could meet some new man and lead up to it more subtly than this. Are you sure you aren’t reacting to the strain and stress of the last few days? The shock of losing your uncle will take a while to get over.”

“Getting over the initial shock won’t change the facts. I’m thirty-six years old, you know that. If I haven’t found someone before this, what are the chances I find someone before I’m too old to be a father?”

“It isn’t something you wanted before,” she said dryly.

“Because I thought I had all the time in the world.”

“So did I. Life’s showing me differently. But you can pick and choose.”

“I pick you,” Cal said.

Zoe blinked. Her heart began to race as she gave full rein to the image of her and Cal trying to make a baby. She clenched her hands into fists and looked away, into the blackness of the backyard.

Could she do this? It was one thing to say she wanted to find a man to make a baby with, something else to actually go through with it.

Time was ticking by. There’d be a day soon when she couldn’t stand the pain and would have to give in to the inevitable.

She’d either do it with a baby or without, but she knew it was coming.

“Let me think about it overnight, if that’s okay?” she said at last.

What was there to think about? She couldn’t do this. This was Jedidiah Callahan, a man who dated sophisticated women, traveled the world, knew CEOs and senators, for heaven’s sake.

And he wanted her to believe he wanted to father her baby?

“Fine.” He stood.

She rose beside him.

“Want to order pizza for dinner?” he asked.

And just like that they were back to business colleagues. They’d often ordered in pizza when working late on a project. The shift caught her off guard. She wished she could turn her emotions on and off so easily. She felt she was reeling from his suggestion.

“Yes, pizza’s fine.”

She’d eat quickly and flee to the safety of the guest room. She’d spend tonight going over his suggestion and then refuse him in the morning.

Cal dialed the pizza place from memory. Many a night he and Uncle Hal had eaten pizza after a ball game, or when both were too tired to fix dinner for some reason or another.

Only when he hung up the phone did he wonder if Zoe noticed he’d remembered her choice.

Too many late nights working for him to forget what she liked.

She’d gone into the living room while he ordered. He started to follow, but changed his mind. He’d thought about family and babies and life and death all afternoon. Maybe having a baby with Zoe would change his outlook on life. Nothing could change the past.