Page 25 of Miracles and Marriage (Making a Family #5)

He’d packed before he left home, knowing they’d be together for the next few nights. All the more reason for them to move in together. Since she hadn’t acted on the suggestion, he suspected it would be a harder sell than he’d originally envisioned.

At least they’d have the weekend together. Maybe she’d see the advantages as the days passed.

With his remark, the joy of the evening vanished for Zoe.

It was the right time. Only, tonight had been so special.

She liked feeling she’d been invited for the pleasure of her company.

She’d enjoyed the music, the discussion at the restaurant and even the plans they’d made for the renovation project.

Now she felt like a laboratory test subject—make sure to procreate on this day.

“You don’t wish me to stay?” he asked as they rode the elevator.

“Of course. As you said, this is the right time.”

She questioned the wisdom of this scheme. There was more to it than she’d anticipated. The more she was around Cal, the more she liked it. She’d been thrilled when she’d seen him yesterday after his trip. Disappointed when he hadn’t come to see her last night. Happy about tonight—until now.

Yet here he was and she still wasn’t satisfied. What was wrong with her?

“Only?” he asked.

“Only nothing,” she said, her gaze fixed on the brushed metal doors of the elevator. “I’m being silly.”

“As in?” he probed.

“As in nothing, Cal. Leave it, okay?”

She couldn’t explain. He’d think she was nuts and probably wouldn’t want a crazy woman to be the mother of his baby.

Once the initial awkwardness was passed and they began to make love, Zoe forgot all her objections. She loved being touched by Cal. His kisses drove her to the stars. And when they joined together she knew it was as close to heaven as she was going to get on earth.

All thoughts of clinical laboratory work fled. She loved this man. She’d treasure every moment spent with him and if they were lucky enough to have a baby, she’d rejoice all her life.

If not, she’d have to let him go. It wasn’t fair to him to keep him from having a family of his own. She had brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and could make a place for herself as favorite aunt. Cal had no one.

The thought brought a pang. She wished instead of making this arrangement, he’d genuinely fallen for her as she had for him.

Reaching out to link her hand with his, she snuggled closer.

Nothing lasted forever. She’d take what she could get and cherish every moment.

If he walked away and she had the operation with no baby between them, she’d still remember these nights and how for a short time she felt as if she were the most important woman in the world for Jedidiah Callahan.

The day was sunny and warm as they drove to Richmond. Zoe called Chloe to let her know she’d be gone for the weekend. The drive along the parkway wasn’t as pretty in early November with the trees denuded of leaves. She’d like to drive down in the summer and see the difference.

“Did you visit your uncle often?” she asked as the miles sped by.

“Not often enough. He’d come up to Washington from time to time. He liked going to RFK Stadium to watch baseball. Didn’t come up as much in the winter. Too cold, he said.”

“It does feel cold with the damp air from the river,” she said.

“Richmond gets snow, so he had it cold. But he liked being home.”

“He was an accountant, you said?”

“Yes, worked for thirty some years for a meat packing firm. He took early retirement a year or so ago. We talked about renting a big cruiser and exploring the Chesapeake Bay. Even talked about going out on to the Atlantic. I wish now that I’d pushed for a firm date and done it.”

“He wasn’t very old—you couldn’t know he’d die when he did,” she said.

“Still, regrets for things not done don’t fade easily.”

Which was the entire reason she was trying for a baby. If she couldn’t have one, she’d be heartbroken. But at least she’d know all her life she’d done what she could. That was one regret she wouldn’t have.

“Thank you, Cal. You’re making sure I don’t have regrets for things not done.”

“Hang in there, Zoe. We’ll have that baby.”

They arrived at the house late morning. It had a definitely deserted look about it. There were leaves that needed raking and bushes that needed pruning. The house itself looked empty, as if the life had gone out of it when Hal died. The windows were blank. The paint looked tired.

“You planning to paint the outside as well?” Zoe asked.

Cal climbed out of the car and studied the facade.

“It looks lik it needs it. Now isn’t the best time of year, however. Maybe come spring. Let’s go inside and make plans.”

Zoe was glad to have something to do. She knew they needed to stick close for the next couple of days. She appreciated having the project to focus on. Otherwise she’d think of nothing but Cal.

And she dare not let him suspect how she felt.

Zoe grew more excited as they progressed through the house.

Cal was serious about relying on her to design the color schemes and make suggestions to bring the house up-to-date.

She could almost pretend they were planning their first place together.

She’d give each room an assessment, then think aloud of what could be done.

He’d agree, she’d jot notes and they moved on to the next.

By dinnertime she had a tablet full of notes and ideas.

“I’d like to get this in some better order, maybe combine the different needs from each room so we’d only have to have a plumber or electrician out once and have them take care of everything, rather than call back and forth as we get to each room,” Zoe said, bubbling with ideas and wanting to get schedules drawn up.

“You’re in charge,” he said, leaning back in the comfy sofa in the living room.

Cal had ordered pizza, preferring that to having to cook.

Zoe felt energized. “This will be a lovely home when you’re finished.”

“When we’re finished,” he said, closing his eyes.

“Are you going to sleep?”

“Not yet,” he said. “I’m envisioning how the place will look.”

“I bet a young family would love this home. The backyard is huge. Think of the fun the children could have. Did you have a fort and a tree house?”

“I had a tree house, Jason had the fort. And there’s a trail down to a stream. We had some major naval battles on that creek,” Cal said.

Zoe tried to picture a younger Cal playing with his friend.

She and her brothers had done their share of battles in makeshift plains of the sand at the beach.

They used to make small homes and forts from wooden matches and end up burning them as a grand finale of each battle.

Would her baby be part of the next generation at the beach?

“My brothers liked battles,” she said.

She still couldn’t picture Cal as a boy.

“Do you have any photos from when you were a child?”

She’d seen a couple of him in pictures of his uncle after the funeral. Had there been more?

“There’re likely to be around somewhere,” he said vaguely.

Glancing around, he narrowed his eyes.

“I suppose the best plan would be to do one room at a time. Decide what’s to be done, clear it out, get it painted, repaired as needed and move on.”

“If you came every weekend, you could finish in a couple of months,” she said, jotting some more notes.

“I do have a company to run,” he said.

“Delegate.”

She looked over at him and met his gaze.

He stared at her for a moment. “Maybe.” He closed his eyes again.

Zoe was happy to doodle on her paper, capturing different tasks and listing the order she’d prioritize things.

“We need to get a hotel room,” Cal said a few moments later.

He’d been thinking about taking Zoe to bed ever since they sat down. It was for the sake of the baby, he told himself. He lied. He wanted her.

“A hotel? I thought we’d stay here,” Zoe said.

“There’s only a single bed in my old room. The guest room’s bed is equally small as you know from your last visit. And I don’t feel right about using Uncle Hal’s.”

She nodded.

“That makes sense. But we can’t stay at a hotel every time we come, that would be silly when you own this house. Maybe you should get a bigger bed in your room.”

“You won’t be coming every time. Just when we need to try for the baby,” he said.

She went still. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was staring at the list she’d just made.

“You’re right—what was I thinking,” she said in a quiet voice.

Had he said something wrong?

“You can come if you want,” he said.

Her smile looked phony and she wouldn’t look at him.

“Don’t be silly. This is your family home. I’ll get the list of tasks printed out and give it to you. I’ll have lots to do on other weekends. No time to come down every week.”

She carefully wrote another line on her tablet.

Cal wished he knew what was going through her mind. Did she actually want to come with him? The sooner he got the house fixed up, the sooner he could rent it out and have one less thing to worry about.

Could Zoe already be pregnant? Once they knew for sure, would the nights together stop?

Cal studied her as she kept her gaze on the tablet.

He’d never had such a close relationship with another woman.

He’d never lived with anyone but his uncle.

Never considered moving in together with any women he’d dated. They’d been dates, not possible mates.

He was startled. Was he thinking of Zoe as a possible mate?

If she became pregnant, if she had his child, he was willing to make a family unit—for the sake of the child.

Or was it also for his sake? He hadn’t spent a lot of time with Uncle Hal in the years after he graduated from high school. First there was the army, then college, getting Protection, Inc, started. Would he do better with a family of his own?

Try as he might, he couldn’t picture himself as a father. Did that foreshadow the future? He didn’t want to think so. To make up for the lost baby, he wanted to be the best father possible to this child. He wished he could have held his baby. Told it just once he loved it.

Zoe rose and, holding the tablet like a shield, headed out of the room.

“I want to check on something,” she said.

Something was definitely wrong. He hated it when women wouldn’t talk about a problem. How could he fix things if he didn’t know what was wrong in her world?

Zoe walked through the kitchen and out onto the back porch.

It was dark already, and growing colder.

She didn’t care. Blinking hard, she kept back tears.

Cal couldn’t have said anything more blatant to remind her theirs was an arrangement to have a baby, not a relationship.

He wasn’t growing to love her. She was living in a fool’s paradise if she hoped for a happy-ever-after ending. Life didn’t work that way.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to think. But mostly she focused on the hurt she felt with his words. She was nothing more than a container for him to fill with a baby. When it wasn’t the right time, thank you, he’d do fine without her.

She’d brought it on herself. Now she wondered if the cost was too high. How would they live through the years ahead if he merely came by because of the child? Would they divorce and he find someone else?

That she’d find someone else seemed unlikely. She hadn’t found the right man in all her twenty-eight years—until now. And it seemed he still wasn’t the right one.

She wanted to go home. She was not going to give in to Cal’s suggestion that they move in together. In fact, she was going to reevaluate her entire plan. If she wasn’t pregnant by the time her next period was due, she was going to decide whether to continue or not.

The thought of not trying brought a pang. Yet so did the idea of falling more and more in love with a man who couldn’t even have her tag along when he fixed up his uncle’s home unless it was the right time of the month.

“Zoe, what’s wrong?” he asked behind her.

“Nothing, I was thinking about a summer garden.”

She refused to let him know how hurt she felt.

“It’s pitch-dark, you can’t see anything.”

“I remember what the yard looks like. I can sketch from memory.”

“Then you don’t need to be out in the cold.”

She drew in another breath, feeling steadier than before. The threat of tears were gone. She’d make it through the weekend. Turning, she walked toward Cal.

“You’re right, I’m through being out in the cold. Let’s find that hotel. I’m tired.”

There was an available room at a nearby hotel. But tonight Zoe wasn’t thinking about making a baby. She was making memories to last her during the years to come when she opened her arms to Cal.