Page 10 of Miracles and Marriage (Making a Family #5)

“What?”

Zoe hadn’t expected anything like that.

“We don’t need to get married to have a baby together. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a husband, but a father.”

“I’m not getting someone pregnant again who has complete control over what happens. If we’re married, we both have equal say over the child. Even if we divorce after the baby’s born, I’ll be the father.”

“You’d be the father anyway. I’m not denying the issue. Your name would be on the birth certificate and everything.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll make a terrific mother.

And I want to be a part of any child we have from beginning to end.

A legal, binding, no-getting-out-of-it connection that everyone in the world will recognize and acknowledge.

Think of the baby. Don’t you think he or she would like to have both parents around all the time? ”

Zoe swallowed; this wasn’t what she expected. Her mixed emotions surprised her. She felt a warm glow at his compliment, but was startled by his term. For a few days after her doctor’s visit, she’d fantasized about finding someone and falling madly in love in time to have a baby.

She’d known Cal for five years. Yet taking this step seemed like walking a high-wire without a net. She thought she knew him, but he’d been throwing unexpected curves for the last few weeks.

She secretly wanted a man who’d do anything for her, whether she was cranky or happy. Someone to build a life with, make memories with, to grow old with.

He’d come to the cottage to help her when she was ill. He’d tried to help her by introducing her to Mark. And he came from a strong family tie with his uncle.

She’d never envisioned marriage with Jedidiah Callahan.

Could love grow? It hadn’t taken much last night to picture them making love.

Her idea to escape to the beach cottage was to keep the separate parts of life just that, separate.

She didn’t want him a fixture at her apartment.

How could she have thought she could just tag some man as it and instantly make a baby?

If it was as hard as the doctor suggested to conceive, they’d have to try more than once. If in the end she couldn’t conceive, she wanted to come out of any relationship with a whole heart.

“So you’re suggesting we marry, have a baby and get divorced—like all within a year?”

“I’m not suggesting anything except if you want me to father your baby, you marry me first.”

Suzanne had really done a number on him, she thought.

“You don’t love me,” Zoe said.

“You don’t love me,” he replied. “I don’t recall you talking about love when you said you would find a man to father your child.

Even on that list I made notes on, there was no mention of love.

We already know each other pretty well. I’m interested in lots of things.

I like sports. I value education. You could count on me being there all his life. ”

She closed her eyes for a moment. Cal was a good man.

She’d been out on several dates over the last couple of weeks with men she hardly knew.

None of them had felt right. Time was so short, could she risk the time to meet another three or four men and find none of them appealed to her?

There was always the hope that the next man she met would be the love of her life.

But what if he weren’t? Or the one after? Or the one after that?

Could she take a chance on a man she liked and admired? One she didn’t have any trouble picturing kissing her and touching her and making love to her. One who was strong and focused and terrific father material.

Opening her eyes she stared right into his.

“Okay, then. I guess we have a deal.”

“I promise I’ll do all in my power to keep our child safe and happy,” he said.

Zoe gave a half smile.

“So will I. This will be a well-loved child. If I can get pregnant.”

For a moment she almost suggested they seal the deal with a kiss.

Instead she stood and carried her dish to the sink. She looked in the cupboard beneath and found soap. Cal also rose and brought his things, putting the dish and cup on the counter next to the sink.

“I’ll wash. You cooked breakfast. It won’t take long,” Zoe said. “I’d like to get going if we’re heading back to D.C. soon.”

She refused to look at Cal, or even let herself think about the bargain they’d made. She was already having doubts. How could she carry off such a charade? She was so much more comfortable discussing projects or brainstorming security measures than this.

When he moved near, she almost jumped out of her skin. She was aware of Cal as never before. She could see him from the corner of her eye. His shoulders were broad, his posture was quintessential male confidence as he leaned against the counter and watched her.

Soon he’d kiss her. She swallowed, tempted to steal a glance at his mouth. Would that telegraph her curiosity?

She’d bet anything she was going to love his kisses.

Feeling unsettled at the intimacy of her thoughts, she wondered if she should discuss the situation further or hope everything worked out. She knew it would be awkward the first time.

Anticipation and dread began to build. When? Where?

She liked to know ahead of time exactly what was happening. She could see a dozen different scenarios play out, none of them the ideal future she’d once hoped for.

At least she could keep her job, no matter what. She loved her work. If she had waited too long for a family, it would have to be the consolation.

“You analyze things too much,” he commented.

“That’s what I do, analyze things,” she replied, hoping the sudden tension between them would soon dissipate. She couldn’t work around Cal if she felt she was walking on eggshells.

“That’s your job, but you’re carrying it into personal life.”

“I do things that way. Always have, which is probably why I’m good at my job. I’m trying to get a handle on how things will play out. Imagine different scenarios, come up with different plans to defuse adverse situations. You know that.”

“Probably in ways you can’t imagine,” he said.

He leaned closer and brushed a few wispy tendrils of her hair from her cheek. Zoe held her breath at the wild feelings that pounded through her at his touch.

“Don’t try to foresee the future,” he said, watching her hair.

“Go with what’s happening now. We’re two reasonable adults who want a child.

We’ll have a baby and we’ll decide then how we’ll proceed.

When it’s an infant, it’ll need you more than me.

But once it grows older, we can share the responsibilities and time with him or her. ”

“I wonder if it’ll be a boy or a girl,” she said, not wanting to dwell on the actual act of procreating. That would make her crazy.

“Which ever we have, I’m sure we’ll both adore the baby.”

Too bad the parents didn’t adore each other, she thought, though there was sex appeal in spades.

She flicked another glance at Cal and found his dark eyes studying her. Licking her lips quickly, she wondered if he was as attracted to her as she was to him.

Cal leaned back and let his hand drop to his side.

He hadn’t realized until this moment how much he’d wanted this.

And how uncertain he’d been of her answer.

Now it was settled. He’d have a baby that no one would ever be able to take away from him.

He was more like his uncle and mother than his father. He wanted a child to follow him.

And he’d have a wife. That was nonnegotiable. Maybe not fair to Zoe to saddle her with the condition when he was still trying to protect himself from Suzanne. But he couldn’t take that risk another time.

It’d work out. He appreciated her coming with him to deal with this. He knew Zoe had a practical nature that appealed to his own. They’d make this work.

“I’ll make the arrangements when we get back,” Cal said. “Any special day you’d like to get married?”

“We’re not telling anyone, right?” she said.

She could imagine the fuss her mother would make planning a wedding.

There’d be friends and neighbors Zoe had known all her life to be invited.

All the aunts and uncles and cousins, grandparents.

She couldn’t see getting away with anything less than a full-blown production that would take months to put together.

A quiet little ceremony would be better. If she didn’t get pregnant, she and Cal could quietly get a divorce and no one would be disappointed the marriage hadn’t lasted.

Yet she couldn’t imagine doing all this without telling Chloe.

Her twin could be counted on to keep quiet about it.

If she got pregnant, she counted on the excitement her parents would feel about a coming grandchild to counter any hurt at being left out of their daughter’s wedding.

They had other daughters to plan weddings for.

“Not until you’re pregnant,” Cal said.

“Then any day suits me,” she said.

As soon as the kitchen was clean, they packed up and headed back to Washington. Zoe spent the entire ride worrying about the commitment she’d just made. Was it the best for both of them? Or would they come to regret it?

Cal stopped at her apartment when they reached Washington and insisted on carrying her suitcase up to her front door.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked.

“No, I’m heading for the office. I’ll let you know what I arrange.”

He nodded once and turned to leave.

Zoe watched him as he strode away. Not even a kiss on the cheek for the future mother of his child. She shivered wondering if she’d done something extremely dumb. Too late now. The bargain was made.

Turning, she entered, putting the suitcase to one side. She then headed for the phone to call her sister.

“Guess what,” she said when Chloe answered.

“You found Mr. Right and I’ll be an auntie in nine months,” Chloe said.