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CHAPTER NINETEEN

Kassandra

Oh God.

We lost everything.

Every. Single. Thing. Gone just like that.

All the childhood memories I saved over the years? Poof. Gone.

Every trophy my boys earned? Swept away like they never existed.

We had to start completely over and with what? I had very little in savings. Certainly not enough to start fresh.

My heart was beating frantically. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

"Kassandra, you need to breathe." David was the only thing in my line of vision. I kept my focus on him and tried to listen to his words.

When he took my hand and placed it on his chest, I tried to match the rhythm of his breathing.

In for three. Out for three.

In for three. Out for three.

I repeated that several more times until it no longer felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest.

"I'm okay." I looked around the room for the first time and realized Mikey, Nate, and Brittany were all staring at me, concern written all over their faces. "I'm okay," I reassured them again.

"I love you, Mom. We're going to get through this." Leave it to my oldest to know exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.

"Come here," I said, stretching out my arms to them. Both boys came and wrapped their own arms around me. Considering both of them were almost a head taller than me, it was more them comforting me than the other way around. "I love you guys so much. You're right, we’ll get through this."

I had no idea how I was going to make that happen, but for their sakes I would do it.

"How about you show them to their rooms?” David offered. “Brittany, did you want to call your parents and let them know what's happening?"

"I texted them when we left the festival. They'll be picking me up soon."

I waited until Brittany left, and after apologizing profusely to her father for what was going on, I went back into the house and showed Mikey and Nate up to their temporary bedrooms.

When I picked the furniture for this house, I kept both spare bedrooms neutral. At the time I thought it odd that the owner wanted both rooms to be for guests. Most people only ever set up one guest room and used the other as an office or maybe a gym. But the person I spoke to insisted on bedrooms. It was one of the only requests made and I was grateful for it now.

"Both are queen beds, so take your pick," I told my sons. The rooms were right next to each other on this side of the upstairs. There was also a bathroom that made up the entire right side of the second floor.

Nate didn't bother to look at the bedroom before he chose it. He just walked right in and sat on the bed. Mikey and I followed him inside.

"Talk to me, kiddo."

"We really lost everything?" he asked, looking defeated and small.

"I can't say for sure, but that's my guess. As soon as they let me, I’ll go over and look for myself.” I took a breath, trying to come up with the right words. All I could manage was, “I'm sorry this is happening."

"This isn't your fault, Mom." Mikey was insistent as he stood next to me with his arms crossed over his chest. "This all goes back to Dad."

"We don't know that for sure." I didn’t know if I was trying to convince them or myself because every fiber of my being screamed this was directly related to whatever mess Michael had gotten himself into.

Mikey scoffed. "Don't cover for him anymore. I know you always wanted to protect us but we're way past that at this point. We just lost everything and it's all his fault."

I released a loud exhale. I couldn't keep lying to them, even if it was to protect them from what was happening.

"You're right. It's most likely all his fault. Your father made stupid decisions before he died and left me to pick up the pieces." It felt good to talk to them about this. I was always insistent that talking bad about the other parent was wrong, but sometimes it did more damage to lie. "But we will get through this. I promise you that."

Mikey wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "I know we will, Mom. Together we can do anything."

Nate nodded his head in agreement. My sweet boy was always so quiet and let his big brother take control.

"Are you going to be okay tonight, kiddo?" I met Nate's devastated gaze.

"Yeah. It's just a shock, but I'll be fine. It was nice of David to let us stay here."

"It was very nice of him." Even if I was confused about what this all meant. "Get some sleep. It's been a long night."

"Night, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too."

I followed Mikey into the next bedroom, but unlike his brother, my oldest didn't sit down on the bed. He spun around and faced me head-on. "Do you remember what I told you about dating?"

I gulped and nodded my head.

"I'm not stupid. I see the way David looks at you. He was trying so hard all night to keep his hands to himself. Why?"

I didn't know what to say, so I settled on, “It's complicated."

"Do you like him?"

I bobbed my head up and down.

"Does he like you?"

Again, I nodded.

"Then it's not complicated. I want you to date. Nate would want you to date. David's a great guy. As long as he treats you right, we don't have any issue with it."

"You mean that?"

Mikey let out a very exaggerated sigh. "Yes, Mom."

"Okay."

"Good. Now go see David. I'm going to crash."

It was too early for my son to go to sleep but I recognized the brushoff for what it was. "I love you."

"I love you too." His smile was so much like his father's that I sometimes wondered if I would hate seeing it, but then I remembered he was nothing like the man who contributed to his DNA. The two couldn't be farther on the spectrum if they tried.

I left Mikey’s room and headed straight for the master bedroom. David was already there, standing at the edge of the bed, waiting for me.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently, opening his arms to me, ready to let me fall apart. Which I did immediately.

I cried.

I cried for the injustice Michael left me with.

I cried for all the stuff my boys lost.

I cried for all the memories that were now gone.

But mostly I cried because just when things were starting to go right, this had to happen.

“Go ahead, let it all out,” David cooed. A bit of a strange sound to come out of such a strong man but I loved it nonetheless.

“Is everything really gone?” I had to ask.

“It is but I promise I will replace the material things. I know I can’t replace the memories but I will replace everything else.”

I stepped out of his embrace. “I told you before I didn’t want your money and don’t think I forgot about the security system you installed. We need to talk about how I’m paying for that.”

“I must not have made myself clear last night when I made love to you. It’s no longer my stuff. It’s our stuff. I plan to have you in my life forever, so anything that’s mine is now yours.”

I was back to having a panic attack again.

“You can’t mean that so soon.”

I almost missed the part where David was now undressing me.

Almost.

“Ummm . . . what are you doing?”

“Showing you again what I obviously didn’t do a good enough job of last night. Before the morning comes, I’m going to remind you over and over again that you’re mine. I’ll wait until your boys are ready to make it official, but between you and me, I will make it known.”

“Mikey already knows,” I blurted out.

David stopped but only for a second. “Good. That means we just need to tell Nate.”

“I’d like to wait until the shock of losing everything wears off. I think it would be too much for him to absorb right now.”

We were both completely naked now and I missed most of it by rambling. Last night I got to enjoy the show but tonight was different. Tonight was about David offering me comfort, and for once, I was going to be the greedy one and accept it.

“I need you inside me,” I said, giving in. “I need you to make me forget I lost everything.”

David brushed his lips against mine. “I’ll do so much more than that. I’ll give you everything you ever wanted.”

And just like last night, he laid me down on the bed and slipped inside me.

There was no foreplay this time. No slow buildup, although I was plenty wet just from thinking about his naked body.

No, tonight was about being connected as one.

Tonight was about me showing David just how much I loved him. Tomorrow I could give him the words.

And before I fell asleep, I whispered that it was up to him if he wanted to stay through the night.