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CHAPTER TEN

David

"If I had called you, then I never would've had Mikey and Nate,” Kassandra replied, “and they’re my world. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Not even my time with Michael."

I wanted to smack myself.

"Of course not. I hadn't meant it that way."

Truthfully, I didn't know how I meant it. My mouth was spewing shit without input from my brain and it was showing. I was doing a good job of putting my foot straight into my trap.

"I know, and believe me there were dozens of times over the years I thought about calling you. The six months after Michael lost his job was probably when I thought about it the most. He was unbearable to deal with, but I was convinced I needed to prove I could handle it, and I did. I made sure my boys never wanted for anything, even if it meant working more than I liked."

"How is the business going?"

Kassandra's smile lit up the entire room. "Amazing. Most of my clients are easy to work with. I have the occasional person who thinks they know better than a designer but I get through it. My favorite client reached out with another job this week, so that makes me happy."

I wanted to see that smile on her face forever. I knew exactly what job she was talking about, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't ready to share all of my secrets just yet.

"That's good. It's never truly work if you enjoy what you're doing."

"That's what I tell Mikey all the time. He wants to make it to the NHL and I keep reminding him it will never be work if he continues to love it as much as he does now."

"I could tell by the way he talked to me tonight about it. How did he get started with hockey?"

I wanted to learn as much as I could about her boys. Michael was never athletic, so I was interested in hearing about how Mikey’s love for hockey was nourished.

"It was kind of a mistake really. Michael wasn't good about participating in family time, so I would try different activities each week to see if there was anything he would enjoy doing with us. From the second Mikey stepped out on the ice, he fell in love with it. Michael didn’t care, of course, but I found a youth league for him to join shortly after that, and the rest is history. He hasn't stopped skating since."

"I look forward to going to one of his games."

Kassandra’s face took on that sad, pensive look again. "I don't think Michael ever attended any of his games. Sure, he had no problem bragging when Mikey got his scholarship, but to actually watch his son play?" She shook her head. "Not a chance. He always had some excuse as to why he couldn't be there."

Kassandra continued to give me reasons to hate Michael. I didn't want her comparing us but I could see why she did. I wasn't even back in her life for two days and already I was being a better role model to her children than her husband ever was.

"Well, I promise to attend as many games as I can. I travel for work sometimes, but if I'm in Boston, then I'll make sure to go."

I would find a way to balance life between Boston and New Mexico if it was the last thing I did.

"Why are you doing all this, David? I pushed you out of my life years ago and now you're acting like those years didn't exist. You're the same man I remember."

I didn't have a good answer for her, so I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt when you cut off our friendship, but I never blamed you. I blamed Michael plenty but never you. I always knew if you ever called me, I would be there for you. A friendship like the one we had isn't something that just goes away."

I was starting to see that what we had was more than a friendship, but now wasn't the time to figure that out. It had only been days since she lost her husband. There was a mystery threat out there that my team needed to figure out, and she had two great boys who didn't deserve someone coming into their lives as more than a friend at the moment.

It was absolutely the wrong time to start anything.

Yet, I didn't remember any of that when she asked her next question.

"Is that all we are? Friends?"

My fingers traced along her arm of their own accord. My body wanted to be closer to her even if my brain was telling me it was a bad idea.

"I'm not sure, but I think it would be smart of us to start there right now. After high school you were my lifeline when everything else was going to shit. I, at least, want my friend back."

"I'm sorry Madalyn left and broke your heart. It killed me when Michael asked me to stop talking to you because I knew losing her was still fresh on your mind."

The mention of Madalyn had me pulling away.

"You two were best friends. Did she tell you why she left?"

I knew it shouldn't matter because what happened was so long ago, but I needed to know who, besides my parents, were involved in deceiving me. I still couldn't speak to them, despite how many times they tried. And they would again, just as soon as they realized I was back in the area. Nothing got past them for long.

"No, she never spoke to me about it. She left me just as much as she left you."

"So you didn't know she was pregnant with my child?"

Kassandra looked like I slapped her. "She was what? " There was no mistaking the shock on her face and in her tone. Kassandra had never been a good actress, so it was safe to say she didn't know.

"Yup. I found out after Madalyn died that I have a daughter."

“Wait, when did Madalyn pass away? And how?”

“A couple months ago, and she was sick.”

"Oh man.” Kassandra shook her head. “But wait? That would make her . . ."

"Thirty-one years old." I missed thirty years of my daughter's life and even now I wasn't fully in it. We talked and spent time together, but Addison didn't need me. She had the love of her life, Liam, and I was lucky to get some affection from her.

"No, I had no idea." Kassandra covered her mouth with her hand and tears pooled in her eyes. "That's horrible. When did you find out?"

"A few months ago. I was sent an anonymous tip, so I had it checked out. Turned out to be true."

"Where does she live?"

I let out a laugh. "In New Mexico. She fell in love with a friend of mine and lives with him. He's great for her, even if that's hard for me to admit."

"Is he . . ."

"My age?" I chuckled. "Yes, he is. Believe me, it was a tough sell at first, but since I didn't raise her, I figured I couldn't tell her how to live her life." Then I shrugged. "And like I said, he's great for her. Treats her like a queen. What more could a father ask for?"

"That's a lot to take in. How are you dealing with it all?"

Kassandra had a heart of gold. She had her own tragic story but it didn't stop her from worrying about mine.

"I'm doing better. I'm still mad at Madalyn but I'm more pissed that my parents knew this whole time and kept it from me."

"I'm sorry"—she held her hand up—" what? " she spat with disgust. "They knew and never said anything?"

"According to Addison. My daughter," I clarified. "She said my parents knew about the pregnancy and forced Madalyn to leave. I have yet to speak to them about it, but I wouldn't be surprised. They weren't as easily enamored by Madalyn, like I was."

They had hoped my love for her would eventually fade away as nothing more than a high school crush. They had big plans for my future. In the end, I snubbed my nose at everything they ever wanted for me.

"I just can't believe they would stoop low enough to do something like that." I gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. "Never mind. They would totally do that because an out-of-wedlock pregnancy would never fit into the lifestyle they shoved down your throat."

"I haven't talked to them in years, but I'm guessing nothing has changed."

Kassandra shook her head. "This neighborhood is still the same. People only care about what others think, and if you aren't part of the country club, you might as well be trash. Michael subscribed to that life. I didn't."

"How could you possibly stay for so long?"

She gave me a sad smile. "You know you aren't the first person to ask me that. My assistant would ask me on the regular, especially after she found out about Michael's extramarital affairs."

"I still can’t believe he cheated on you …" I could hear the growl in my tone.

Kassandra shrugged. "It wasn’t that big of a deal, and honestly, after the shock wore off, I was relieved. He stopped expecting sex from me and I was fine with that. I was too repulsed by him to even pretend I wanted him to touch me. Besides"—she waved her hand around like what she had to say next was no big deal—"he preferred his women much younger than me. You know, heavily endowed." She made the gesture for big breasts. "I could never compete with that."

"There's no comparison. You're absolutely stunning and there's not a damn thing wrong with your body."

The opposite actually. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off her. Especially when I saw what she wore to work. Her outfit hugged every delicious curve. And her jeans were no better. The damn things looked like they were painted on her legs. The oversized sweater did nothing to take away from her sexiness. If anything, it only made me want to peel it off so I could see what was underneath.

I had to stop my thoughts from the avenue they were taking. It wasn't appropriate. Not right now.

"I appreciate you saying that." Kassandra cleared her throat. "I have some designs to work on. Do you need anything before I go upstairs?"

"Nope, I have a few calls to make anyway. Teams I need to check in with."

"Okay." She pushed off the counter and headed toward the staircase. "If I don't see you later, have a good night."

"Goodnight, Kassandra."

I waited until I heard her footsteps on the floor above me before I smacked my forehead. Way to make things uncomfortable.

I was so damn far out of my realm that I didn't know which way to go anymore. I needed to figure my shit out, and fast, before I screwed things up.