Page 98 of Meant to Be

JOSIE

When I wake, I’m bundled up in Harley’s arms. It’s hot, a little too hot, but I don’t move. I enjoy being back in his embrace after years of trying to forget how good it feels.

His deep breathing fans over my ear. I twist so that I gaze up at him. He has a razor-sharp jawline that my fingers are begging to graze over. His hair is messy, covering his closed lids, his lips softly parted. He looks so calm. So innocent. So good.

Harley Caldwell has never been good. Not good for me, not for himself.

When I think back to all those times we snuck around together, it still makes my pulse quicken. No one has made me feel half of what Harley used to. I sigh. There’s no point using past tense. It’s still the same now.

Eventually, I detach myself from Harley’s grip. He groans softly as I get to my feet, stretching. Several bones crack and I shake out my limbs. I feel like I’m waking from a coma. I haven’t slept that well or deep for a long time.

“Come back,” Harley mumbles.

Despite myself, I smile. “I need to shower. It’s fucking hot.”

He makes an incoherent sound, rolling onto his back.

My nerves are on high-alert when I shower, feeling flustered and confused.

I throw on shorts and a singlet, tucking it in and piling my hair messily on top of my head. When I was with Elliot, I would look like I’m about to step inside a cocktail party—even if I was just in the apartment all day—and it feels nice not to worry about that. To not beexpectedto do that.

Harley and I stay inside my little house the entire day. We lounge in bed, eating, talking, watching movies. I never realised it was soeasywith him. Effortless and endless conversations about everything and nothing.

After Nick tries to ring me, I switch my phone off, grimacing at all the unread messages and unanswered calls blinking at me, the red notifications a reminder of all the things in my life I’ve been ignoring. It’s easy to forget about my problems when Harley is with me. Ironic, since he was the number one source of all my problems before.

We’re sprawled on my bed, the fan’s buzzing beside the bed, legs tangled.

“What was it like getting out?” he asks.

“Hmm?”

“Getting away from here,” he clarifies.

“Like a breath of fresh air,” I answer. “At first.”

“At first?”

“Living and working in the city isn’t like this. No one knows who you are. No one cares.” I lace our fingers together, even though it’s too hot to be touching. I should be resisting this. Putting up more of a fight. But having him here has been the first time my mind has eased in a long while, and I’m getting sick of pretending not to want this. To want him. It’s tiring. I want to let go, even if it’s just for today. “That’s what I loved about the place. No one knew me, or my history.”

Harley winces a little, reminding him of our past and all the ways we wronged each other. As much as I hate him for what he did, I’m not innocent in it, either. I didn’t break it off with Nick when I should have. I strung them both along, keeping Harley as my little secret, and Nick as my protector.

I was a foolish girl, and I wish I could take it all back.

“It’s so busy there. People care too much about what others think. They’re all fake.” I sigh. “I was the fakest of them all.”

He touches my hair. “You changed a lot about yourself.”

“I didn’t want to be Josephine Mayor anymore,” I whisper.

I hated so much about myself, and my body, so I altered everything I could.

“Who did you want to be?”

“Someone better.” I watch his fingers thread through my blonde strands.

“Josie,” he murmurs. “I used to be the only one who called you Josie.”

My stomach clenches. That is true. As much as I hate to admit it, that’s why I went by that now.