Page 18 of Meant to Be

I’m staring ahead, the yellow glow of the headlights shining into the distance, only the peeling fence posts and browning grass in view. I don’t let his words sink in. Instead, I turn, offering him a smirk.

“Did you miss me?”

“Yes.” He nods more seriously than I was hoping for. “Of course, I did, Joseph—Josie.”

Unclipping my seatbelt, I climb over onto his lap, straddling him. Innocent shock registers on his face, and I settle in deeply, grinding into him and pressing my palms onto his chest. His shirt feels slightly damp under my skin.

“How much?”

“What?” he croaks.

“How much did you miss me?”

“More than you’d ever know.”

“Prove it,” I whisper.

His warm hands find my back, searing me through the thin fabric of my dress. I lean into him. When he hesitates, I place my mouth over his. I haven’t kissed anyone other than Elliot for over two years, and it feels strange, but also like old memories.

His mouth is hot and slippery, his tongue playfully clashing with mine as we work out a groove. God. Nicholas Schneider. The boy I adored. Obsessed over. The boy whose heart I pulled out of his chest and stepped on when I didn’t get what I wanted. I don’t deserve this. Him. A second chance.

And here I am, back in his arms, like I never left.

I fumble at his buttons, his shirt tearing open under my rushed hands.

“Hey, woah, hey,” he flusters when my hands sink lower.

Like always, Nick stops it from getting too far. Which was the start of all our problems.

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding on to this virgin act.” I roll my eyes at him. “We’re not seventeen anymore.”

Anger and disappointment flash in his eyes. “I just got you back. I don’t want to rush anything. I don’t evenknowyou anymore.”

“Who cares?” I huff, pulling his chin to me and kissing him.

“Josie!” he snaps, pushing my hand away. “Stop.”

We glare at each other for a heated moment. Guilt slams hard into my gut, but instead of letting it consume me, I bolt from the car. He’s right after me, reaching for my arm.

“Wait!” He exhales so deeply that I feel the heat of his breath on the back of my neck. “Can you just wait a damn minute?”

“What?”

“This.” He throws his hand between us. “You and me. There’s a lot here. You know me, you know my values. Why do you always push it?”

“Because I want more from you,” I snap. “I’ve always wantedmore.”

“You can’t expect everything to go back to how it was, Josie. Not after …” There’s a thick silence. He can’t say it. “Look,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “This was too much, too fast, okay? Can we just … pretend these last five minutes didn’t happen?”

I let out a half-laugh, half-scoff, folding my arms across my chest. “No. Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s infuriating and confusing and just like four fucking years ago!” I hiss. He flinches. Naïve Josie would never have spoken like this to him. “Don’t worry. I’ll do everyone a favour and disappear again.”

“Why are you being like this?”

I hold my chin high and glare over his head at the dark sky. He sighs heavily once more.