Page 37 of Maverick (The Bull Riders #3)

Chapter Fifteen

Stella

Harmony literally made me a Taylor Swift style friendship bracelet to wear to the championship with the letters: WWRCSBD? (what would rom com Sandra Bullock do?)

I appreciate this sweet gesture from my sister, and appreciate the bonding occurring between us even more. We never had the chance to be close when we were kids because our parents were always making us compete, and it just feels…

It feels like it doesn’t matter now.

I don’t need to be better than her to feel okay about myself.

We’ve had conversations about all kinds of things, including her weird – and in hindsight problematic – ‘relationships’ with older guys at our barn when we were younger, and how she felt like it made her special and more important to get attention from older men, and how much she needed that because she just didn’t feel special enough otherwise.

It's given me a new perspective on her. Amazing what an actual transparent conversation will do.

That has fortified me. That and the fact that I’m dressed to kill in painted-on jeans and a top that’s so tight I can barely breathe.

Being here is weird. Because I’m doing it to show him something. But whether that’s me being dangerously obsessed with him, brave for not being cowed, or just psychotic, sad, and lost after falling in love for the first time and having it go badly.

Who can say?

I have the suite information on my ticket, but for some reason, I’m just wandering aimlessly around the stands. Which is when I see Dallas and Colt.

It’s like finding two very tall, broad needles in a haystack, and my whole heart feels full. I’ve gotten some brief updates on Colt’s condition from Dallas, and his girlfriend Sarah, but mainly it’s been silence, which is kind of weird all things considered.

But I don’t know how I’d react if I were injured like that. I can’t judge the lack of communication.

And I got all wrapped up in my affair with Maverick.

So wrapped up, I feel strangled by it now.

It’s Sarah who spots me and stands up, waving madly. We haven’t interacted all that much, but she’s sweet and cheerful, and I’m so glad she’s in Dallas’s life. It’s changed him completely to be with her, in all the best ways.

Without overthinking it, I make a beeline for where they are, and I do my best to work up an uncomplicated smile in spite of all my complicated feelings.

“You guys have no idea how weird it is to not have you haunting me all year,” I say.

When I see Colt, my heart clenches tight. He looks good. Really good, all things considered.

Dallas stands and gives me a hug, and Colt does the same, even if he’s moving a little bit more slowly than Dallas.

“You look rough, buddy,” I say, moving to hug him. “I love you anyway, though.”

My throat gets tight, and I’m horrified. If there are two people who would hate me hooking up with Maverick even more than I do right now, it would be them. I can’t show them my distress for that reason, and anyway, this should be about Colt being here, looking good, being upright.

Colt grimaces. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t expect you here.”

“I didn’t expect you here,” he says.

I feel my stupid face go all hot. It’s always doing that and betraying me.

“Oh,” he says, understanding I don’t want to see dawning on his face. “You’re here with someone. Or for someone.”

I clear my throat and try to look casual. “Not really.”

“I don’t believe that,” Dallas says.

Sarah is looking back and forth between me and Colt.

“Are you on a date with Alexandra Bella?” Colt asks.

An image of the beautiful rodeo queen pops into my head. I’m flattered he thinks that, really. Lord, if that’s not a commentary on sexuality, what else could be? If I could choose Alexandra, I sure as hell wouldn’t be dealing with Maverick and his male bullshit.

I laugh at that thought. “I almost wish, Colt. She seems like a good time.”

“So the person you’re with is not a good time,” Sarah asks, looking extremely interested.

“I’m by myself.” It’s true. Just with tickets purchased by Maverick and crushed by a broken heart caused by Maverick.

“Here to see one of the guys ride?” Colt is pushing awfully hard, and if I didn’t love him so much, I’d find him annoying.

“You know,” I hedge, “I don’t really care who wins. And there is a likelihood someone could have a terrible accident, just like you.”

I sound bitter and ridiculous, and I know it.

“Is it Maverick Quinn?” Sarah asks.

My heart just about jumps up my throat and out of my mouth.

“ No ,” Dallas and Colt say at the same time.

“He sucks,” Colt says.

“He really does,” Dallas agrees.

I don’t say anything in response because what am I going to say? I can’t deny it. Well, I could, but it’d be such a bad lie I’d turn twenty shades of red and maybe choke on it besides.

Colt pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh God, Stella.”

Dallas shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away from me.

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” Sarah says, looking at Colt.

“Excuse me?” Colt asks. “What did I do?”

“You know what you did,” she says.

“I… Wow, Sarah.”

I’m tempted to ask for details on Colt’s life, but I can see he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Whatever,” I say. “I shouldn’t have even come. He got me tickets when he qualified. But then things were different. Or maybe, things were… I don’t know.”

To my horror, tears fill my eyes. I feel small and stupid, and I wish I weren’t doing this in front of Colt right now, for God’s sake. He was hurt, and we should be talking about his recovery, not my stupidity.

“Any guy who fumbles you is an idiot,” Sarah says decisively.

She’s being way too giving to me.

“I think I’m the idiot,” I say. “For getting overly involved with a man who stated up front that he was going to fumble me. Without getting into the details.”

“I’m here for details,” says Sarah.

She pulls me to the side, away from the guys, and I’m grateful, honestly, because they’re just so judgmental. Which is fair, and it’s not like I don’t deserve judgment, but damn. I’m wounded enough.

“Tell me,” Sarah says, her voice soft.

“Oh, there’s not much to say. It’s what it looks like. I slept with an older man, caught feelings that he remained unafflicted with, and now I’m here because I’m refusing to just go away. Why should I make his life easier?”

Sarah looks at me with admiration, I’m sure I don’t deserve. “I love it. These men deserve to be tortured a little.” She looks over at Colt.

My eyes widen. “What?”

“Oh, he’s…drama. I’ll have to text you about it later. I’ve been nice out of deference for the sensitive nature of the situation.” She grimaces. “But now he’s fucked it all up.”

I look over at Colt. “Is that why I haven’t gotten many updates?”

She nods. “Yeah, he was busy.”

I don’t have to ask what kind of busy. Her tone makes it clear. “For God’s sake,” I say. “Does he…is she in love with him?”

Sarah nods. “Oh yeah. He loves her, trust me. He’s just deciding to ruin everyone’s lives.”

“Why do they do that?” I ask.

“Do you think Maverick loves you?” she asks.

I sigh. “I…think he’s more of a mess than anyone knows.” I don’t want to tell his secrets, even now. “And I think he’s also an idiot. Two things can be true.”

“Do you think he loves you?” she presses.

“I know I love him. But unfortunately, if he can’t get it together, that won’t matter.”

Sarah doesn’t say anything for a moment. “It matters. Just trust me, it matters.”

But I don’t see how, and the event is about to start. For some reason, I feel compelled to be in that box from the beginning. To be right there, in defiance of him breaking my heart.

I take a sharp breath. “Well, I hope so. Right now it feels…hopeless.”

“But you’re here,” Sarah says.

I can’t argue with that. Instead, I address everyone.

“I have a seat in the box,” I say. “Motherfucker couldn’t take those tickets back. Just everything else. See you guys later.”

I have to walk away quickly so I don’t get emotional. I want to get my game face in place.

I touch my bracelet.

WWRCSBD?

I don’t know. But I know she’d get a happy ending.

I’m not so sure about me.