Page 13 of Maverick (The Bull Riders #3)

Who wouldn’t rather be some mythical bad guy, instead of a kid who grew up around addiction, who found love, for one brief moment, before losing it?

I’d rather be a villain than a widower. At home, that’s who I am.

A man who lives alone on a ranch that was never meant to only be his, and on the circuit, I have this myth and legend that surrounds me that has nothing to do with the reality of anything.

I prefer it. I can slip it on like a pair of worn jeans and find some solace in it. Some comfort. Because it gives me a break.

I didn’t really think about the fact that bringing Stella into this life compromises the break that I get from it.

“This way,” I say, gesturing up the road. “I’ve got a large stable. There are quite a few people who board here.”

“Are you a full-time rancher?”

“That’s the idea. Eventually. Right now, I’m dependent on the boarding because I’m gone so much. But someday.”

“Oh. After you win it all?”

“In theory.”

“No offense, but you’re a little bit older than a lot of the other guys that are still riding.”

“None taken,” I say, and I feel every one of those years in my bones as she drives over a pothole and pulls us up to the white and green stable. Not my color choice. That bright white, with the brass fixtures, which looks great, was all Sadie.

“I got derailed,” I say. “So, when I came back, I was a little older.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that you quit for a while.”

“Yep,” I say.

But I don’t elaborate. She takes the hint. Which is funny, because she seems almost as afraid to tread on the things that I’m keeping to myself as I am to talk about them. Maybe I’m putting off more unfriendly energy than I realize. A lot more caution tape.

Well, good for me. Apparently, I’m great at social cues, actually, as long as they’re negative.”

“Life is complicated, I guess,” she says. “Compared to so many of these barrel racers, I started really late.”

“But you’ve already won a championship,” I say. “I haven’t. So in that sense, you’re one up on me.”

“Well, the bull riding championships are bigger. With so much money at stake…”

“True. And it’s not hard to find a bunch of men who are stupid enough to risk themselves like that for glory and cash.”

“You said it,” she says, putting the truck in park and unbuckling. “Not me.”

She gets out of the vehicle and moves to the back to get her horse. I open up the stable and go ahead of her, moving down the line until I find an empty stall. “Number eight,” I say as she leads her horse inside. “You can put her in here.”

“Is… Is the horse you want me to ride in here?”

“Frank,” I say. “Yeah. Let’s get her put away, then I’ll introduce you.”

It’s so stupid. I feel like I’m introducing a kid to a new nanny or something. But I guess Frank was really the only child Sadie and I had.

I ignore the biting regret in my stomach. I just have so much fucking regret and so little else. I’m tired of that.

I’m tired of being so keenly aware of it. This side effect of bringing Stella into my actual life.

I stand back while she gets her horse situated, and then I gesture down toward the end of the row of stalls. “He’s down here.”

“What is Frank short for?”

“Oh, it’s not actually short for his name.

His registered name is something like… Dawn of the Mist. I don’t know.

” I’m lying. I know what his name is. It’s Early Morning Dawn, one of those insane show horse names.

I made fun of it terribly when she registered him and started calling him Frank – stupid when I could have called him Dawn – which stuck. So here we are.

Frank is a fine horse. A gorgeous bay with incredible bone structure and musculature. He’s perfect. And the way that he performs moves is absolutely flawless.

I don’t even have to be an expert to know that. To recognize that he is a rare specimen. “He’s beautiful,” she says, her eyes lighting up. I watch her look at Frank, and honestly, I haven’t felt anything like this for a long time.

I recognize that face.

Because Sadie used to get it. When she would see a horse that just illuminated something inside of her.

She loved horses. I can see that Stella does too.

Loves them and appreciates them. So, in that sense, I feel like I’ve made the right choice.

That it isn’t just about me. That it isn’t just about her spectacular breasts, but about the connection that I felt like she could have with Frank. The one that’s been missing.

“I can’t wait,” she says.

“Well, let’s get a real start tomorrow.”

There’s some barrier stopping me from throwing her on the horse right away, and anyway, I might as well show her to her cottage. Yes. That’ll be the next step. She can get her trailer parked, we’ll drive to the cottage, I don’t have to bring her into the house.

And I’ll just walk back when she’s settled.

She gets the trailer parked, and then we load back up, and I give her directions to her lodging. The cottage is on the edge of a grove of trees. Near a field that we often have moose, so I give her a disclaimer about keeping an eye out for animals.

“I don’t know if you have moose where you are,” I say.

She shakes her head. “No. No moose in Northern California.”

“So that’s where you’re from.”

“Yeah. Sonoma.”

“I’ve heard good things about that area. That it’s very pretty.”

“Oh. It’s gorgeous. Expensive, but beautiful.”

“Stands to reason that there’s a lot of dressage activities happening there.”

“Oh yes. Definitely. Lots and lots of horses and lots and lots of money.”

She parks her truck, and we both get out. I say a silent prayer that the place hasn’t been taken over by black widows. But everything looks pretty clean still, and when I open up the front door, the inside of the little place is still tidy, if a bit dusty.

“Sorry, I didn’t clean or anything. Obviously, I didn’t know that I was going to hire you in advance.”

“No,” she says. “You just… Thought of it.”

“I figured the two of us got thrown together for a reason. And I thought it might be this one.”

She lights up just a little bit. “That’s what I thought. That there was a reason. And I guess it is this. The horse.”

“Yeah. The horse.”

I remember meeting Sadie at a county fair.

They wanted to do a bull riding exhibition, and I agreed, and she was there helping with the youth dressage show.

I guess a horse brought us together in a strange way.

But that has nothing to do with this. Nothing to do with Stella, and I don’t know why I’m having that memory now.

“Well, why don’t you take some inventory, and if you need anything, you can run up to the store. There’s one not super far from here. Get some rest, and tomorrow we’ll get Frank out and talk about a plan.”

“Okay. That sounds good.”

“Yeah. Real good.”

And when I leave her there, I try to leave behind all the strange tension, because I don’t have any room for it.

It’s one thing to appreciate her body, and another to start reflecting on meeting my wife like I’m comparing that to bringing her here.

No. I gave love a shot once. One time. It scarred me, nearly destroyed me.

I don’t have an appetite for feeling that way ever again.

Happily, I know how rare love is. So, I don’t think I’m in danger of accidentally falling into it.