Page 12

Amber

M ixed emotions are flooding me about visiting, especially the gnawing feeling in my stomach about facing my mom.

With a deep inhale and Bradley’s hand in mine, I twist the handle and open the front door. I already smell Dad’s famous pecan pie baking in the oven and as we turn right to the wide living room Mom’s eyes peer up at us from a book she’s reading.

She wasn’t the first person I wanted to see.

“Amber,” her voice is full of surprise, “I didn’t know you were coming.” She places the book on the two-tier side table and lifts herself off her modern rocking chair with a padded seat.

Dad and I kept it a secret for a few days because we knew she tends to spiral when it comes to me. We didn’t want to burden her mentally.

Her judgy eyes veer left and right. The furrow in her brow becomes more pronounced. And I can hear the disdain in her voice before she even opens her mouth.

“I barely heard from you in a year and now you show up with two men. They’re wearing rings and bracelets and have a million tattoos. And you brought a dog, who will clean all his hair when it falls around.”

“They’re my roommates and friends, we will clean Teddy’s hair,“ I reply dryly.

“Your… room—roommates.” There is that mocking tone that always resurfaces when she speaks to me.

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” She pins them with a pointed look. “That’s what you do in the city, living with frat boys?”

My face instantly heats up and I scoff at her rude demeanor. “Wow, Mom. Very classy. You always judge people based on their appearance but they are very successful. Ronnie owns a club and his apartment where we live and Bradley is a talented tattoo artist and neither needs your approval.”

Anger boils in my bloodstream but when Bradley squeezes my hand, I calm down a little.

Why does she have to embarrass me in front of them?

While introducing Dad has never been a problem, I never brought friends home and always found excuses to see them outside because of her.

Twitching her lips, she fixes her mocha ponytail, “I have enough on my plate with your sister I don’t need my older daughter to walk in here with her mess.”

That’s rich coming from her.

“It’s okay, I can leave our dog with my family they live just two blocks away.” Bradley tries to come to my rescue but it’s no use. Nothing can satisfy her when it comes to me. I’m a part of the life she is trying to suppress. A part she tried to leave behind for years but when she looks at me, I’m a reminder.

“You don’t know what to do with your future. When you were here you at least had a future with Patrick, he has become a successful lawyer.” She continues without a care in the world about my feelings, knowing she hurts me, it is always about her.

“What future?” I step forward, the rage is evident in my voice even though I don’t raise it. “He was in love with one of his high school friends. And hypothetically what then Mom? Marry him, have his kids, and live a miserable life. Still lost.”

She had my dad who would do anything for her and it was still not enough. She loves him but she still struggles with her demons.

“Oh honey, I want you to be happy.” She suddenly lowers her voice, and her features soften. Out of the corner of my eye, the guys step near me, each on either side.

“At any cost.” I toss it in the air but I’m past this conversation for a decade now if I’m honest.

“Of course not.” The displeasure in her voice is beyond deafening.

“Who’s Patrick?” Ronnie’s soft voice captures my attention as he leans in, whispers in my ear, and rubs my back in soothing circles.

“My ex-boyfriend,” I whisper back.

“So I’m guessing you’re Ronnie and you’re Bradley.” She points at them with a condescending smile. Impatience fills me with a suppressed urge to tap my foot as I wait for her to finish this lame interrogation.

“Quite the opposite,” Ronnie says sharply but I can hear his smile even without looking I know he will be polite and not act as she does right now.

“So who’s your boyfriend?”

My first instinct is to say “both” to piss her off but then Ronnie drapes his arm over my shoulder. “Me. Not a lawyer but a damn good business owner.”

My god… I want to kiss him for that as my cheeks flush.

I don’t even care about her right now.

“Why did you dye your beautiful hair purple? It’s like you’re mocking me with it. And you pierced your nose…” Under her scrutinizing gaze, I feel so small. It doesn’t matter how much I achieved on my own, she is always the voice in my head telling me I’m not enough. I’m almost there but I should try harder.

But it’s funny how she reflects me, like my personal mirror. I hate that I look like her, almost identical which is crazy but I’m thankful to have my dad’s eyes—that is the only comfort I have when I stare at the mirror.

“I also have a tattoo do you want to complain about that too? It’s not about you, I did it for myself.” It healed parts of me she knows nothing about because she never bothered to ask.

“Okay, ladies.” Dad comes to my rescue per usual. “Time out. Come with us boys.” He pulls me away from Mom and into the wooden kitchen behind the staircase. “It’s good to see you, sweetie,” he rewards me with his bear hug. “I made food for a football team.”

“Why does she always have to do that?” An exhale pushes past my lips in full force behind Dad’s ear.

“You know what she is like.” He shrugs his shoulder. “She’s tensed more than ever about your sister almost finishing high school. And she hasn’t seen you in a long time—a year.”

“And she’s acting like that was for the best.”

“No sweetie, she missed you. She’s just having a rough week.”

“Yeah, knowing I’m here has already made her unbearable. And it’s so unfair because I brought my friends but we can go to Bradley’s. His family lives here.”

I pull back to look at him and focus on the gold that blends with the honey in his irises, loving how much they look like mine.

“I missed you, Dad.”

His smile widens. “I missed you more.” His shoulder-length, brown hair is slicked back and his short beard looks a little longer than on our last video chat.

I spin around to meet Ronnie and Bradley’s warm gaze. “This is my dad, Johnny. And this is Ronnie and Bradley.”

“Nice to meet you.” He meets them halfway and shakes their hands. They immediately greet him with “Nice to meet you, Mr. Turner.”

“No, call me Johnny. Amber said your folks live here, Bradley, which family?”

“The Meiss’s.”

Dad cocks his head to the side, “Drew’s family?”

“Yeah. We’re the only Meiss around here.”

“Hmm.” He contemplates something, maybe reflecting. “We used to go boating together before… I’m sorry for your loss. He was a good man.”

Bradley nods in gratitude.

“I’m sorry if this sounds weird but you look so young.” Ronnie addresses my Dad’s appearance and makes him peel with laughter.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Bradley adds. “I didn’t expect to see an actor when we walked inside like the one from that TV series everyone watches right now.” And he immediately gets a pat on the shoulder from Dad.

“He looks like a cowboy,” is the first that comes to my mind, “Straight out of modern western.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Thanks guys, please continue to flatter me.” Dad deserves all the praise.

“My parents had me when they were eighteen, I wasn’t exactly the plan.” I spew as I open a lid and dip my nose inside a dish with red meat, mushrooms, onions, and rice—soaked in a rich creamy sauce—smoked paprika and hints of mustard coat my nose and I inhale it again. I move to the next pots and boxes placed on the kitchen counter and do the same.

I missed Dad’s cooking.

“But you didn’t stall it either. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me—my biggest accomplishment.” His hands are resting on the guys’ shoulders, slightly towering over them and shaking them a little while he grins at me. “Are you hungry?”

“I puked all the way here so I think it’s too early for that,” Ronnie says with a sheepish grin and I smile at his softness that captivates me every time.

“He thought our sidewalks needed a makeover.”

Dad barks a laugh at Bradley’s joke, Ronnie shakes his head yet a smile pulls at his lips even when he tries to bite it away. They are so right for each other, it was evident the first day I met them, and I’m so lucky they want to spend their time with me. I still can’t believe they write fantasies about me and those become more vivid every time they write a new one.

This week I dared to write an erotic scene about us and I can’t wait to grab Ronnie’s laptop later and continue.

“Did you know she was coming,” Mom storms into the kitchen, waving her finger in accusation. God forbid if I came to visit without her knowledge. Most parents would be happy but not her.

“Melanie, stop it right now,” Dad warns, his voice is stern but still soft. “She just walked in here and you didn’t even let her breathe before you attacked her with countless accusations.”

I’ve had enough of this.

Moving from room to room restlessly, I lounge myself up the stairs and yank my sister’s door out of its hinges. “Kat, are you…” my eyes land on her standing next to her window, sneaking a boy outside the house. “Are you sneaking a boy out?”

Drawing the curtains dramatically, she spins on her pink shoes fast. “What? No. It must be the drive over you’re hallucinating.” She pulls her shoulder upright, folding her arms across her chest and jutting her hip out.

“Hallucinating my ass. You sneaky little rebel.” I charge forward and she starts screaming from the top of her lungs, jumping in front of me to block my path. “Sneaking boys under Mom’s nose. You must be proud.” I lower my voice and tickle her endlessly until I’m tired and throw myself on her bed.

“I’m seventeen.” She pants, tossing her hair back. “I’m allowed to have a boyfriend.”

She throws herself next to me, and giggles, ecstatic about her mischief.

I lie on my back and stare at the stars blanketing the ceiling. When Kat was ten, I offered to decorate it with stickers because our favorite activity was to climb on top of the roof and watch the skies at night.

Dad used to do that with me when I was a kid.

“You will always have the stars,” Kat says next to me, staring at the ceiling too. “That’s what you told me when you decorated it.”

That’s how I felt most of my life like I couldn’t grasp anything but always had the stars to watch at night.

“Who was that?” I ask.

“Someone.”

“Tell me, come on.” I tickle her side, knowing it always gets her.

“Amber, stop!” she squirms and giggles some more.

“Not until you tell me.”

“I d—don’t want to—jinx it.” She clasps her thumb and index finger to my nose and I release her. She uses all my moves against me these days. “We just started dating.”

I shoot her a knowing look, “If you let him inside your room it’s serious. I won’t tell you what to do but use protection and be safe.”

“Amber!”