Page 23

It turns out, killing didn't come as natural to me as it did the rest of these people. I had several weapons at my disposal when Dahr returned to the tent, including the massive armoury he’d kept displayed on the left side, like some sort of honour wall. I had long since discovered the fake leather flap that covered his weapons, and I had access to them whenever I needed to.

It was the first time I was holding a weapon with the intention of harming someone. It felt so different to the knives and chisels I had been working with my entire life, which had been used to transform and bring life to the ephemeral blocks of stone. The intention of usage must have an effect on the weight of the weapon, because I had tested several in my hand and every time I picked one up, it felt as though my wrist had to support a full tonne of guilt instead of the few hundred grams of the metal.

None of it mattered though, because when the time came to act, I found myself frozen and unable to even speak, let alone jump at my enemy and slash his throat, the way I had been planning to do all day.

I did keep myself strong enough, however, to deny his closeness, faking I was too tired. Surprisingly, Dahr made sure we had dinner before he placed me into the cosy blankets on the side of the bed that I had claimed as mine and held me as I fell asleep while he peppered kisses on my neck and down my shoulder.

He was the one who fell asleep before I did since the new information and uncertainty spined around in my mind until they mixed together in a tumultuous lump of anxiety that remained lodged into my chest for the rest of the night and long into the following day.

“Nora, are you even listening to me?”

Karisha’s fingers snapped in my face to draw my attention and bring me to the present. The tribe lady leaned in to fix her blue eyes on me and study my face, which must have looked as lost as I felt.

“Sorry, I am just tired…”

I shook my head and forced a smile, but my lips felt strange performing the actions. Karisha’s presence hurt me more than I thought it would. I had had time to mourn Dahr’s loss and the small bud of love we had started to form, but I did not give myself time to weep the friendship I was losing with Karisha.

This woman had been in my life almost every day since my arrival. She’d been the one to bring me food, she’d been the one to have me cleaned and even dressed my wounds. The tribe lady had treated me like a companion, like a friend and she even told me secrets and revealed her hopes and dreams to me. I had expected her to at least be honest, to give me a fighting chance… not that I had any hopes of saving myself. But I had at least hoped my friend would have done something to try and save me. I was sick of faking, of putting all my energy into appearing my casual happy self instead of using my entire brain power on focusing on my plan.

“I can see that, but you’re also a little… off,”

Karisha leaned further in to look at me, studying my features with full commitment as if her gaze could slide off the mask I was concealing. So I let her see. I removed my fears and let this facade drop. It was time, after all.

“Maybe this happens to a person when they find out they will be killed next week,”

I spat out, the words sharply shoving themselves into my victim, who was so shocked that her body fell.

I did not move from where I was sitting in bed when I saw Karisha fall to her knees as though something had hit her at the back of the head. I knew the feeling all too well. Her breaths came out in deep panting episodes, and she needed long seconds to calm down enough to speak.

“You know.”

“I do,”

I nodded, keeping my eyes on her. I felt my gaze falling with accusation, carrying the entire force of the betrayal I had struggled to cope with for the past twenty-four hours.

“And I expected more from you, Karisha. I expected more from someone who keeps calling herself my friend,”

I spat, without feeling any shred of remorse.

“Nora, I—”

long tears poured down her cheeks and down into her cleavage as Karisha remained on her knees in front of me, sobbing her guilt.

“I don’t care.”

I stopped her.

“I don’t care what you have to say, I don’t care what your justification is for lying to me. I understand Dahr, he’s the one who has to kill me after all. I understand Markos protecting his cousin and his tribe, but you were supposed to be my friend. You called yourself my sister, time and time again. You made plans for the future, Karisha!”

I broke, feeling the burn of tears sliding down my face and did not move to wipe them away. She had to see them. I needed her to see them.

“Nora, please. You have to understand,”

Karisha moved her hand to reach me, but I shifted away and stood to keep myself away from her touch. To put my body far from her reach, at least for now.

“Nora, please, listen,”

she continued crawling on those floors, without making a gesture to stand, too desperate to move to my side, yet not feeling empowered enough to level with me.

I didn't have time to get away when her hands grabbed the side of my dress, the seams snapping at the force of her pull. I wanted to shake her away, but her fingers remained deeply embedded in the thin fabric, keeping me in place.

“Nora, please, you have to understand. We’re all desperately trying to find a solution to save you. Markos even sent a letter to the captain to ask for support and Dahr has already contacted General Raakim several times to demand a detour of your town. Please, you have to understand, we’re all doing every—”

“No, Karisha,”

I finally managed to move away, uncaring that the dress ripped into pieces under her hold.

“I don’t have to understand anything. You lied to me. You chose to lie to me!”

I howled, the despair finally ripping through my throat.

“I trusted you! All of you! I followed you around and I helped in every way I could. I even started to dream about having a life here. With all of you! Instead, you chose to make a show out of me and wrapped me in a string of lies!” My eyes burnt with more unshed tears, which I refused to let out.

“Nora, Dahr wouldn’t have accepted a mating request from you if he didn’t have hopes for a future together. I don’t know why he told you right now and did not follow the plan but—”

“Stop it!”

I heard my shout reverberate through her tent.

“Stop lying to me! Just stop!”

“Nora…”

Karisha remained on her knees, head bowed, the river of tears staining her cleavage while her hair fell down her shoulders, covering her back and part of the floor.

“I’m done here,”

I said as I circled around her and left her tent, faking I didn’t hear her cries.

I was done. I was completely and utterly done. Karisha’s reaction had created the final impulse I needed to gain enough strength to execute my plan. With a half-ripped dress and a body filled with adrenaline, I walked to the main tent, determined to feel the full weight of a knife and learn how to use it.

“Just the man I wanted to see,”

I replied when I spotted Dahr leaning over the table to study one of the maps. It didn’t matter which one he was looking at, I already knew it by heart, I had enough time to study each detail and understand every minuscule thread of their plan. Dahr turned to me, surprise burning in his eyes while a smile arched his lips upwards.

“Hello little flame,”

Dahr snickered with mirth.

“I didn’t know you would come home so early,”

he said as he dropped the map on the table, as if it posed no significance at all.

“Didn’t mean to intrude,”

I replied but instead of stepping back, as one who doesn’t mean to bother the other person would, I started walking towards him with determination. Adrenaline still shot through my system from the fight with Karisha and if I ever needed a moment to use all that urge that ignited through me, this would be it.

“Please, don’t let me distract you,”

I pushed, challenging him to pick up the map and reveal whatever secrets he thought he was keeping hidden from me.

“Somehow I sense that is not entirely true,”

Dahr replied with a playful grin, his eyes glinting with mischief as he turned to me fully. My walk towards him must have drawn his attention to the ripped fabric of my dress. I saw the exact moment his brows arched in question, after which a deep V line appeared on his forehead a second later.

“What happened?”

“I went to see Karisha,”

I replied with nonchalance, trying to keep my attention to him and my pulse in check as I spotted the dagger placed as a paper holder over the maps on the table. And knew exactly what I had to do.

“Did she not like the dress?”

Dahr asked inquisitively, his features alert, yet amused.

I simply shrugged as I continued to direct my steps towards him.

“She knows how difficult it was to procure these for you, she should pay more attention,”

he replied, but he must have had another idea because I saw a playful smirk curling a side of his cheek.

“Yet again… I can help you to remove it completely,”

Dahr grinned as I reached the table and stepped to his side, in reach of the dagger.

“Is that what you would like?”

I made sure to bite my lips, making it look like I was keeping desire in check rather than angst. I was terrified as I leaned into him and reached for a kiss. My entire body jolted when his tongue brushed mine, when he invaded my mouth with the unique taste of him, trapping all my senses into that kiss.

I wanted him close, I wanted his hands busy, so I let myself slide into his arms and lifted my other hand to reach his shoulders to pull him closer. Just as I knew they would, Dahr’s arms wrapped around my midsection, trailing dangerously close to my ass.

He kept devouring me in that kiss, his tongue performing the same savage dance in my mouth that would have driven me crazy any other day. Right now, however, I was desperately using my dominant hand to reach for that dagger. Once I did, I gripped the hilt and pressed my fingers tightly around it, holding it for dear life.

When Dahr stopped our kiss, I took the opportunity to pull myself back. Just slightly. Just enough to give myself space to reach his throat but not enough to lose the grip his hands had on my ass. They needed to stay busy and unable to stop my movement.

“You shouldn’t be so upset about a dress…”

I smiled mischievously.

“After all, there will be no one left to wear it in seven days…”

Before Dahr’s pupils had a chance to widen, my dagger was at his throat and my free hand grabbed him by the hair, keeping him in place with a tight pull.

“Milenora…”

My entire body shook at the sound of my full name falling from his lips. He’d never uttered it before, never acknowledged it that day when I had introduced myself to him. Only when I kept insisting that my name was ‘Nora’, only after I had cared for him that night, did he deign to address me by my given name. I couldn’t let this happen; I couldn’t lose my upper hand just because this man remembered what I was called.

“I think I prefer March,”

I hissed, pressing the blade to his jugular. I surprised even myself at the fact that my hand remained cool and collected, not one shiver in sight. As though I had practised this exact movement thousands of times until it became so fluid, my entire body moved along with it.

“Who told you?”

Dahr let his head tilt back, exposing his throat to me even more. It was a struggle really, since he was at least a head taller than me, and I couldn’t relax my hands onto his body. I barely reached enough to keep the knife to his throat and his hair pulled up, my arms already starting to struggle with the pressure of the position after a few seconds.

“Does it really matter, Grannicus? Does it really matter how I know?”

I spat, barely keeping my breath strong enough to expel the words. The adrenaline was slowly starting to fade away from the cosiness and warmth that even now, my entire body felt in Dahr’s proximity.

Whatever I was about to do, I had to do it soon.

I pressed the blade deeper into his throat, to the point where his jugular pulsated against my blade. One single movement and that would be it. One single slide and I could free everyone of this murderous bastard.

I took a deep breath, stilling my hands and forcing the movement to take place. Just like cutting through clay. It had to be just like that. One single slice, one determined straight line with this sharp blade and it would all be done.

Come on, Nora, I encouraged myself when my hand did not perform the action my brain ordered it to. Just one slide, that’s it. One slide and you are free.

Still, my hand did not move.

“Not as easy as you thought it would be?”

Dahr asked. His head remained tilted back, and he didn’t make a move to try to get himself free, but the tension in his Adam’s apple when he moved was enough to make the blade draw a small cut into his throat. Not deep enough to truly injure, but enough to draw blood.

“Stop talking!”

I shouted; my body frozen in panic at the crimson line that was streaming down his neck.

“Why should I, little flame?”

Dahr still kept his head back, but I didn’t have to look at him to read the challenge.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? To kill me?”

Another cut slid down his throat, this time slightly deeper than the first, claiming more blood in the motion. If he continued like this, if he didn’t stop talking and I didn’t move the blade, he would injure himself more and more.

Or I could end it all, right now.

Come on, Nora. Just follow that line. Just follow that line and move a little deeper.

“Isn’t it—”

the blade pierced Dahr’s throat again when he started speaking.

“Fuck!!”

I heard myself shout.

My eyes were blurry, my body was shaking and everything around me was spiralling into nothingness. Hot tears filled my cheeks with crushing pain while my muscles and bones shivered under the weight of failure.

“Nora…”

I felt Dahr’s warm embrace covering me from behind, his arms slowly circling around me. Giving me enough space to escape if I chose to, but strong enough to offer the support that kept me from crumbling.

“I can’t do it,”

I started sobbing, letting myself fall into him, accepting defeat.

“I can’t do it,”

I cried harder, my entire body shaking into his embrace, which was becoming stronger by the second.

“I’m sorry, Nora. I am sorry you can’t do it,”

Dahr said, the words ridiculous, but sounding truthful.

His warmth covered my entire body, the shiver in my bones settling against his broad shoulders and the strength of his stance. Dahr’s hands moved on my body, one of them resting on my back while the other slithered under my knees to pull me up.

I didn’t struggle against his hold as he lifted me from the ground and walked a few steps to settle me on a soft surface, covered with fur bedding.

Unable to resist and desperate with the need to hold onto something, I hugged the pillow and pressed my face into it, letting the tears spring free into the soft fabric. A few beats later Dahr stretched on the bed by my side and pressed me into him, our bodies falling onto the mattress just like every other night.

Unable to control myself, I started sobbing again while the man I had just tried to murder held me tight.

“Here,”

he pressed a kiss on the side of my cheek and placed the dagger on the pillow by my side. Well within reach.

“In case you change your mind tonight.”