Page 12

It was official. I had truly and completely lost my mind. I had lost my senses. There was absolutely no reasonable explanation as to why I had spent the night the way I did. Why I had jumped in Dahr’s arms when he arrived back in the tent, without caring that his body was covered in fresh blood. I didn’t even want to think where it was coming from. All I cared about was that he was safe, and he was back.

That he took it upon himself to punish those two men, even though it had been in a drastic way. I might have even experienced guilt or terror, were his touches not gentle and caring. After he hugged me and made sure I was safe, he thanked Mira and ordered her to come back in the morning to redo the bandages she had covered part of my face with to treat the swelling.

“Would you like to have some dinner?”

he asked me after he cleaned himself once more, making the golden shine of his skin gleam with more temptation than ever.

“I’m not hungry,”

I replied but still, walked closer to where he had just finished cleaning himself by the table.

“I’m pretty tired…”

I felt the need to add, the exhaustion of the day and the hundreds of feelings that battled my chest overpowering the rest of my needs.

With that, Dahr nodded and moved over to his bed, from where he pulled the cover up and motioned for me to get in.

Wordlessly, I did.

And that was it.

That was my night.

Dahr circled the bed and got in from the other side, then moved just slightly closer to me and asked me if I was in pain or if I needed anything before bed. When I told him that I was well and only needed to rest, he pulled the heavy blanket over my body, covering me with it, as though he could sense I needed an extra layer of protection.

And we both let the night carry us into the world of dreams.

I did not feel the need to question him, I did not feel scared.

I was just… tired.

And for some reason, I felt safe in that bed with him.

Morning, however, came with a rustling of senses and thoughts, all of them demanding immediate resolution. As anticipated, adrenaline abandoned my body and let my sore muscles feel the full weight of yesterday’s events.

My memory played out the image of Dahr, holding those heads as casually as one carries a bag of groceries, on a loop, and no matter how much I wanted to put a pause on my thoughts, there was no way of stopping them.

What was I doing?

Who was I becoming?

Not that I condoned the two men’s judgement and their lack of character. Hitting a woman was never okay. Hitting someone that was weaker than you was not okay. Hell, hitting in general was not okay. Part of me wondered if I had done something to deserve it. If, by running into the sea, by not telling Sylam where I was going and just bolting out of the tent in search of temporary freedom had been the catalyst of all these events.

And part of me hated myself for the reaction I had. For the way I had allowed myself to feel and for the fact that I did not fight Dahr or reprimand him for his actions. Moreover, I had slept in his bed again, as if to give him a reward for his actions. To my shame, I had grazed my body with his more than a few times, making it look like an accident.

Something was wrong with me. Something was very, very wrong. Needing some space from Dahr, I jumped out of the bed and ran back to my smaller one as soon as morning broke. I had to put a stop to it and could not prolong these stolen moments any longer.

“What are you doing?”

Dahr immediately reacted at the loss of my body from his bed.

I did not dignify him with an answer, especially not when he was the spark of all my burning problems. I needed to get away from him, more than anything.

“March!”

he raised his voice from the bed, an unspoken command for me to return.

“My name is not March!”

I snapped at him, then regained my composure and nestled into my bed. Not that I had any chance of going to sleep, but because I needed to reinforce this message.

That I couldn’t stay by his side anymore.

To both him and to myself.

“Nora…”

I heard Dahr say my name slowly, reverence shaking in his tone.

“Please, tell me what is wrong.”

I heard the bed sheets rustling, I heard him move and at the thought that he was stepping closer to me, my heart started thumping like crazy.

I needed these uncontrollable feelings to stop.

I needed to regain control of my analytical mind and my logical self if I ever wanted to get out of here. I couldn’t continue like this, acting like a silly girl gushing over the man who ruined my life.

“What’s wrong?”

I had to take a long moment to gain control of myself, forcing reason back into my senses.

“This is what is wrong,”

I moved from the bed to face him, finding him towering over my bed, possibly in an attempt to come to my small mattress if I had escaped his.

I had to push away the part of me that thought this was endearing and bring forth the one that was raging at him, desperate to lash out at something. Someone.

“You,”

I pointed at him. “Me,”

I touched my own chest for emphasis.

“This!” I motioned around the tent.

“The fact that you think this is okay. The fact that I should be satisfied with living another day and not being killed in one of your rage-induced activities.”

I couldn’t stand feeling inferior, not when he was towering over me and brimming with power, so I pushed myself from bed.

Like never before.

Were he not so much taller than me, I would have breathed in his face, but alas, I had to be satisfied with levelling my forehead with his clavicle, because that was all I could reach.

Nevertheless, I looked up at him and made sure to furrow my brows, tighten my jaw and press my lips together to display my anger.

Instead of getting him to react in some way, however, Dahr blinked at me with benevolence.

Dare I say, the corners of his lips even pulled up a little, hiding a smile.

Definitely not giving me the desired effect.

“What?”

I shouted at him, annoyed that he wasn’t taking this seriously.

“You look cute when you are angry,”

he grinned at me and lowered his head just slightly, as if to better study me.

That was it. I lost it.

I completely abandoned all control and thoughts of self-preservation, letting my rage dictate my actions. I didn’t know how or why, but my fists pushed into his chest, in a poor attempt to shove him away as I shouted.

“Fuck you, Dahr!”

Dahr looked at me with new conviction then, as if I had unlocked a tether to a leash I didn’t know he was holding on to. His inky gaze turned ravenous and the mocking smile on his face fell into a seductive one.

“Would you like that?”

he quirked a brow, challenging me.

“I never want anything to do with you!”

I shouted and moved to push him again, only this time, he was prepared.

In a slow and careful movement, Dahr shifted to the side to catch both my wrists, before he twisted me and pressed my back to his chest, keeping me captive in his hold.

My wrists were trapped in a single hand, while the other lowered onto my stomach and down to my hips, pressing me harder onto him. Making me feel the warmth of his skin and the swollen bulge in his pants.

“Is that so, March?”

he leaned in and whispered a challenge into my ear, raising shivers down my body.

“Let me go!”

I shouted and started wiggling away. I tried to wrestle him, I tried to kick him and stomped my feet, but his hold on me was too firm to easily escape from, his body pressed too tightly against me.

“I will not let you go until you tell me what is happening to you. Why are you acting like this?”

Dahr threatened and, to emphasise, pushed himself even tighter into me, letting me know that there was no way I was escaping this unless he chose to let me go.

“Because,”

I struggled again to no avail.

“I want to get away from you!”

That seemed to stop him for a moment. His hold on me loosened just slightly, but not enough to allow me to escape. So, I continued, hoping that this was the key to my release. I let all my thoughts flow. I let my fears invade me and let my mouth say everything I was thinking. Everything I was questioning and failing to understand.

“You are a monster!”

I jumped away from his arms again, only to remain as trapped as before.

“You and all your camp! Violent, savage monsters!”

I continued fighting, wiggling and stomping my feet, trying to make my body as heavy as I could by jumping up and down in an attempt to get away from the pressure his arm forged around me.

“I don’t want to die here… I deserve better than this!” I finally said, admitting my biggest fear.

“I deserve… a better death than this…”

I was so focused on admitting this very phrase to myself, that I didn’t realise that my feet were back on the fur-lined floors and the pressure around my waist had disappeared. I looked to my side to see Dahr taking a step back, his bare chest heaving and his features distraught.

“Is that what you wish for, March?”

his voice barely came out and when it did, it sounded broken.

I fully turned to him then, letting myself feel all the overwhelming fears that were blanketing my senses.

“I don’t want to die like this,”

I finally said.

I looked at him then, fully looked at him, for what seemed like the very first time. Giving myself enough time to take in his features. To notice the melancholy he carried like a war-wound. To see that, whatever truth or lie had come out of my mouth, it had broken a piece of him I didn’t know how to mend.

“You are free to go,”

he said, his eyes glinting with the misfortune of what could have been and deciding to snap the root of our connection.

“No one will stop you. You have my word.”

The sadness that filled the room almost made me take my words back, terrified of the effects they had on him. Because he looked… broken. Like his very essence had vanished from his spirit.

“Dahr…”

I said his name but stopped. What else was there to say.

“Thank you,”

I nodded quickly and hurried to grab my shoes, which I had luckily left by the entrance.

I put them on quickly and moved towards the exit flaps, part of me still in disbelief. Was he truly letting me go? Was he really a decent person that I had insulted in such a way until he lost his battle?

“Go, Nora,”

his voice urged me to continue and, forcing myself to not look back, I fled the tent.

The light of day hit my skin with the strength of a thousand sharp knives, the sunny day pushing a blast over my body. I expected commotion in the camp, I expected chatter and protests, for people to look at me with hatred or to even swear at me after the events of the night before.

I had to contain my stomach from spilling itself at the sight of the two decapitated heads pushed onto wooden spikes, jammed into the ground at each side of the tent and moved over quickly to get away from the sight and the stench.

Taking my first steps with care and expecting to be stopped at any minute, I walked slowly through the lines of tents and looked at the people around me. Truly looked at them. The change from the day before was overwhelming and, for the first few times, I even had to look back when someone nodded to me or greeted me, because I thought their cordial remarks were meant to be received by somebody else.

But when a woman called me ‘March’, greeted me and offered me a glass of water, I knew something was amiss. It was as if I was suddenly alive and was somehow deserving of being acknowledged.

A few men even asked me if I was alright or needed anything, one of them offering me a cheese wrap from his own plate, when I passed by him having breakfast outside his tent.

They weren’t treating me like a prisoner any longer. It was as if I was becoming one of them and I knew it had to do with last night’s events. With the fact that Dahr had made a public display of punishing someone who hurt me.

‘Anyone who dares to touch my woman again will share the same fate.’ His voice sounded on repeat, my mind too focused on those two words to let the memory go. The two words I had done my best to ignore all night. The two words that raised demons inside my very being.

My woman.

My very soul fluttered with the possibility, with the change of fate that had brought me here. This unique experience meant only for me to live.

Was this worth abandoning my plans over?

Was it worth foregoing my final five years?

I had everything planned. I knew exactly how the rest of my life would be, what I would do, what I wanted to study and what I wanted to create. I had marked important dates in the calendar, I had made plans and ordered materials for a new creation every year.

Something to be remembered by.

Something to leave behind.

Love, however, was not part of the plan. My soul burning with desire for a man I barely knew was not discussed in my five-year farewell tour. I was going to die, that was a certainty. The question was, what would I do with my remaining time?

Was it worth letting it all go, just for a final chance at romance?

I let my feet take me through the camp as I visualised my two options, questioning and thinking, doing my best to envision my planned life and this new adventure I had a chance to get a snippet of.

Would Dahr be a good boyfriend?

I snickered at the very thought. Probably not.

Would having sex with such a man be worth foregoing a possible work of art or two? I was ashamed to say yes, absolutely.

I would much rather feel something now, than possibly feel something in the future. A future that either way, was not guaranteed. I thought about my town, about going back and alerting everyone. But would anyone believe me? Would they abandon their homes and their livelihoods on the words of a woman who told them the faeries were coming? Or would I have a better chance to change the course of the attack if I remained right in the middle of planning it?

I found myself walking around the camp for what seemed like hours, until I spotted the large tent, situated right in the middle, presiding over the rest of the territories. And headed straight towards it. Nodding to the people who kept greeting me and enjoying being seen, I made my way to the tent and grimaced at the sight of the two pikes, which were still there.

A warning.

And a promise.

A promise that I would be protected.

That he would protect me.

With sudden determination, I pushed the tent flaps open, and blinked the light of day away, letting my eyes adjust to the cool and the shade. I blinked once and looked around the tent, spotting Dahr’s body crouch on the side of the small mattress of the bed he’d brought for me. He looked like a giant trying to share a dwarf’s bed.

His attention shot up at the movement, inky eyes pooled with pain suddenly glinting with hope.

“What are you doing here?”

he barely murmured and stood, his eyes scanning me from head to toe as if to make sure I was really there.

“I’ll be making this my home for a while. If that's alright with you.”

I replied and dared to show a smile, which he immediately returned. Then I added, for good measure.

“But if I am to abandon my life, there’s a few things that need to change around here.”