Page 11

Once the awkwardness of holding hands with my captor passed and I fully let myself enjoy the connection we were building, the night turned into a dream. Nothing beat sleeping in my own bed, but sharing Dahr’s, and feeling the warmth of his skin against mine, came a very close second.

I hadn’t realised how much I missed the connection, the contact of another human body next to mine and the small shivers his presence sent all over my skin. How protected and safe I felt, even though my mind screamed the reality back to me. The only thing I was scared of was waking up and breaking this trance we had forged in the darkness. We both knew it had no place in the light of day.

Fortunately, Dahr must have anticipated the awkwardness of breaking our connection while we were both awake, so he must have left earlier than usual, because I woke up by myself, stretched out in his carved-for-a-god bed. And, since there seemed to be no requirements for me that morning and I wasn’t bound to a specific schedule, I decided to take advantage and linger in the still warm sheets.

That was, until the tent flaps flew open to display Karisha’s frowning gaze which scanned the entirety of the tent before stopping to spot me stretching out lazily on Dahr’s mattress.

“Here I was, thinking you were upset with me for putting you to work yesterday…”

she walked over to my side of the bed, stopping to get a perfect view of me, caught in the act, and crossed her arms as she stared admonishingly.

“...only to find your post-orgasm self having a lay-in.”

“What?”

I jumped as though the sheets scorched my skin.

“No, that’s not what…”

I shook my head rather than find the words, determined to clear this situation up.

Her raised arm stopped my words.

“Whatever it is, it’s none of my business…”

Karisha even made a point to turn her head as I got out of bed, in case I would be naked underneath the covers, ”…all I needed to know was that you are alright,”

she clarified and when I confirmed, her posture changed into a more relaxed one.

“Yes, I’m… I’m alright,”

I fumbled around and did my best to leave the bed swiftly and elegantly. Was there an etiquette for this kind of situation? Did I have to make the bed or leave it the way Dahr used to?

Fortunately, Karisha jumped to my rescue.

“I have to travel this afternoon, so I was planning to invite you for breakfast and more reporting, if you are still up for it?”

“Yes,”

I smiled widely.

“I would love to.”

I moved to follow the tribe lady out of the tent and we both walked slowly into the sunlight to start a new day. After having some breakfast and chatting away about one thing or another, Karisha pulled the reports and started spreading the papers on the table while I moved away plates and glasses to give us enough space to work.

I was fully prepared to get engrossed in the work again, but it seems like my new friend wasn’t too keen on starting just yet and had other questions on her mind.

“Why were you in Dahr’s bed if you didn’t fuck him?”

she asked with a sweet, innocent voice. Honestly, I was surprised that she lasted this long and gave me enough time to eat and not choke on my food.

“I’m not really sure…”

I replied and kept my head lowered, my attention focused on the reports I was trying to rearrange according to the purchasing information Karisha had told me she needed for her journey.

“You just… went there after he left or…?”

she pushed.

Clearly, I wouldn’t be able to get out of this until I told her something and while I was at it, I might as well try to find out more information.

“I thought he had another injury, so I went to check. He just… invited me in.”

“To sleep? Just to sleep?”

Karisha made sure to emphasise, turning the conversation to the exact point I needed it to go.

“I assume it’s a big deal for him, right? What, does he kick them out as soon as he’s done with them?”

I threw a fake chuckle, but my friend must have seen right through it.

“Not at all,”

she sat at the table next to me, close enough to demand my attention.

“Dahr doesn’t get involved with…anyone,”

she shook her head slightly to get her point across.

“He’s never shown an interest in sharing a bed.”

“Right, and he’s also a virgin and prays three times a day,”

I snarled. I didn’t know what she needed me to believe, but I was not having it. A man like that would probably have the entire camp of women making a queue to his bed.

“He has his picks from the camp to satisfy his urges,”

Karisha offered.

“Two or three women a month brag about having sex with Grannicus but that’s the most it ever went. Markos jokes about needing a constant supply for him,”

she chuckled. Then, probably at the sight of my abruptly saddened face or the fact that she realised who she was talking to, Karisha made a point to correct herself.

“All I am saying is that he always keeps his affairs hidden and if it weren’t for bragging rights, no one would know what he is up to.”

“Noted,”

I replied sarcastically. In summary, Karisha told me not to get my hopes up, because this man needed a new woman every other week.

“My point is, you need to be careful. We all know he is an extremely attractive man. Hell, if I weren’t mated, I would probably have my way with him more than a few times,”

she giggled, trying to relax the tension in the room.

“But you need to take care of yourself first,”

she stopped me from arranging reports and squeezed my hand.

“Just. Be. Careful.”

“I will,”

I nodded and squeezed her back, needing something else to occupy my mind with.

I worked for hours until I completed all the inventory and remained deeply satisfied with myself. After a few dozen pages, the thought of Dahr abandoned my mind, leaving the sweet specifics of mathematical rules to keep me engaged until lunch.

Karisha and I shared a meal, both taking extra care to not even touch the ‘men’ subject and then I helped her prepare for the trip.

All I knew, all she could tell me, was that she had purchasing duties, which was why she also needed the reports.

“You have the afternoon off,”

she encouraged.

“Go do something you enjoy. Relax for a little bit.”

“Could I spend the afternoon here?”

As soon as I asked the question, Karisha’s bright features dimmed, her disappointment obvious.

“Sure, you can even use my skincare,”

she offered and squeezed my hand, silently urging me to take advantage of this day, but probably guessing the reason why I didn’t want to go back to the main tent.

“Sylam is outside, if you do change your mind,”

she offered before leaving the tent.

“I won’t!”

I shouted, having no desire other than to be on my own and stay locked in for the rest of the day.

Only, I changed my mind less than an hour later.

After all, if I was given this apparent freedom, why shouldn’t I take advantage? I couldn’t spend every single day with Karisha and then wait for Dahr to come back to the tent. I had to be able to stand on my own two feet and do something for myself.

And the one thing I needed most… the one thing I had craved for as long as I could remember since I was brought here… was to swim in the ocean.

With sudden determination and with a desperate need to do something for myself, just like the tribe lady suggested, I bolted out of the tent. I didn’t wait to check if Sylam was there, if he was trailing my steps or if he could keep up with the way I was spinning and turning. I needed to be free… at least for an hour or two and didn’t listen when the other women in the tribe told me to slow down, when I passed guards that commanded me to do so or when Sylam himself, I assumed, called my name, ordering me to stop.

Only, it was not my name.

I was sick and tired of people referring to me by the name of the month I had been captured in, rather than spending an few extra seconds in an attempt to get to know me.

I wanted to feel like myself again, I wanted to be free and to float, to lose myself in the waves just as I had done so before, hundreds of times. Without thinking, I ran to the beach and almost cried when the sand started tickling my legs. And I continued until my feet touched the water, until the waves broke against my calves and until the lower half of my body was completely submerged in the cool caress of the ocean.

I let myself float, my body leaving its worries on land and getting engulfed by the calmness of the water around me, blue tendrils caressing all the troubles away. I had always loved the sea, ever since I was a little girl, it had always been a constant in my life.

It was there when my parents died, it was there when my auntie had to leave with her new husband, it was there when I was accepted at the school for girls. It was there every weekend, every time I needed a quiet place to hide and every time I had to shed tears that I didn’t want anyone to see. It was here now, when I had been ripped away from my life and placed in a camp where almost everyone hated me.

And it was here, when my hair yanked me back, stopping my body from swimming. I barely had enough space to turn and spot a man pulling my hair and dragging me back to land.

I started thrashing and struggling against his hold, begging the ocean for a few waves to help me regain my position, but my curls were thick, and he had a good hold on me.

“Get the fuck back!”

I heard him shout.

“Right now!”

“Leave me alone!”

I shouted back, the water filling my ears and part of my face covering most of the sound. I continued fighting and moving my head, trying everything I could to get myself released from his hold, but nothing seemed to work and, as soon as we touched land and my body weight wasn’t supported by the water, the pain clashed against me with unforgiving shots.

Having no other option, I followed the man out of the water while doing my best to keep my body upright and walk, as much as I could, behind him to avoid more of my hair from being ripped in his fury. When he got to the shore, he finally released me with an abrupt push, making my body fall on the sand and get covered with dirt.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Making us run after you like that.”

I looked around to observe that there was a multitude of men forcing a tight circle around me, yet Sylam was nowhere to be found.

“I am allowed to swim!”

I said, trying to explain to him that I had indeed gotten permission to be there. Before more words came out of my mouth, however, my head flew to the side, swinging from the force of the fist that clashed against my cheek.

Another man came from the side and, not sharing the patience of his companion who had carried me out of the water, he was over-zealous in the task of disciplining me.

“Just wait till Grannicus finds out you tried to escape,”

he threatened.

“What we do to you will be just the appetiser to your evening of punishment, you stupid woman.”

I spotted out of the corner of my eye that he raised his hand to hit me again, so I quickly turned to the side, doing my best to protect my face. Still, he seemed content to kick me in the back again and again. I wasn’t proud of the shriek of pain that came out of me, but I could not contain it. It had been a long while since someone hit me and I didn’t even have enough skills to protect myself from these people. These monsters.

“That’s enough!”

another male voice came from further away, a godsend cease to my torture. Or so I hoped.

The crowd started dispersing to make room for the man, and for a moment, I thought it would be Dahr or Markos. I remained nestled into a ball as he approached, not wanting to create an opening for another fist against my face and waited until several steps surrounded me.

I released another shriek when strong arms grabbed my body and remained in my protective position, as the man started walking and carried me with him. It was only when I stopped hearing the waves and the sounds of sand kicking against his feet that I dared to look at my saviour, to spot Sylam's annoyed face looking straight ahead.

My guard didn’t speak a single word to me, and I did not push him either, too scared of his reaction. He insisted on carrying me to Dahr’s tent, where he lowered me gently, making sure that I could stand on my own two feet, before he motioned me with his chin to go inside. I lowered my head to thank him but respected his wish for silence and ran back to my bed, from where I should have never left.

It was only when I felt the safety of the covers against my skin that I let myself feel.

Feel the terror.

Feel the rage.

Feel the pain.

When the two women, Mira and Slatanya, arrived with dinner, I refused it and hid my entire body underneath the silk sheets, missing the heavy fur-lined ones, which, in this particular moment, would help me feel much more protected than the flimsy fabric I had at my disposal.

I did not know if I was bleeding. I hadn’t noticed any crimson stains on the bed sheets, but I blatantly refused to touch my face, which felt swollen and kept pounding in pain. The last thing I wanted was to touch the wound and make it worse. Even though I had been hit a few times in the back and probably once or twice on my ribs, the part of my body that was most in pain was my face.

I didn’t even want to think about Dahr’s reaction when Sylam told him what had happened, and I truly believed that he would feel the need to inflict his own punishment on me. Or maybe he wished to show everyone in the camp what it means to cross him, and he would make a full display of it.

Either way, I knew I was living on borrowed time and that this would probably be the final moment of peace I could enjoy. If I could even reach as far as calling it that…

Determined to take advantage of this little time I had left and incredibly saddened that Karisha wasn’t there to help me or jump in my defence, I chose to remain in bed until the very end and rest my body for as long as I was permitted to.

When Dahr came, I did not move from my protective nook nor did I acknowledge his return and chose to keep staring at the artwork painted on the walls, trying to ascertain the best mix of colours to obtain those exact shades of blue.

I did not want Dahr to think I was scared, but I didn’t want to speed up the process either, still not understanding what I had done to deserve such a treatment. Except being a woman prisoner in a camp of overly inflated male egos.

I heard how his steps pressed along the room, how he moved towards the table and splashed a bit of water over his body, probably to relieve the remnants of the daily fights and how he put his actions to a stop, ceased by a deep sigh.

“Do you expect an apology?”

Dahr finally said but did not move. He did not step towards me, did not make a single motion to force me into a reply. Still, my entire skin covered with gooseflesh, the anticipation of his deep voice carried on overwhelming my senses.

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this,”

I finally snapped from under the covers, my voice escaping with more harshness than I initially intended it to. I knew I was in big trouble, so shouting at him wouldn’t bring me any extra credit.

“I know…”

he sighed slowly in reply and only then, started moving again, his heavy footsteps carrying the weight of his body echoing into the tent. I knew he was approaching my bed and, as a last resort to keep hold of the little power I had left, I grabbed the pillow and placed it over my head. A childish move, I was well aware. Yet, one that felt instinctual more than logical.

I didn’t expect to feel Dahr’s body close to mine as he took a seat at the edge of my bed, his wide frame pushing into my own body to make a little space for him to sit.

“I apologise…”

he spoke slowly, the words coming out like a heavy thud, shaking the world around us.

“I should not have left without speaking to you this morning.”

“You should have told your henchmen not to kick the shit out of me, that’s what you should have done,”

I shouted from under the covers, knowing that I was opening myself up to his exploding fury. Not only was I not apologetic about whatever mistake they thought I had made but also protested it. I knew this would be the end.

But if I was to die, I would rather do it with my head held high, showing these people that just because I was a woman and did not possess their strength, I still merited the same rights as them. I very much doubted that when one of Dahr’s warriors made a mistake, he was treated like this, so why wouldn’t I demand the same privilege?

“I didn’t…”

Dahr started protesting but stopped abruptly. I didn’t even think he breathed properly when his voice turned as tumultuous as a hurricane. “What???”

Oh my god, this was it. This was the moment.

“Look at me!”

Dahr ordered and moved to remove the covers and the pillow from my face, but I kept pulling at them, desperate for that illusion of protection.

“Nora…”

he threatened, but even so, my name on his lips echoed like the sweetest sounds, like the very last accord that joins the perfect tune of an orchestra.

“Look. At. Me.”

he said slowly, uttering each word with the utmost care, using a tone of voice I hadn’t heard before.

“Please…”

he said, that final plea becoming my undoing.

I took a deep breath and pushed strength into my body as I removed the pillow and fully turned to him, letting him see the effect of the punishment his men had inflicted. Hoping that it would give him enough satisfaction and make him understand that I would be terrified to leave the camp on my own from now on. And hoping that he did not need to reiterate the message.

Instead of a grin, a snarl, or even a smile, Dahr’s face was the complete opposite. His eyes flew open at the sight of me, gaze burning into the swollen flesh for long seconds. I even thought he was paralysed — he remained in some sort of a loop— but the more he breathed, the more his nostrils flared and his brows furrowed. His dark irises glinted with a fury I had not seen before and, were I not already pinned in bed, I would have felt the need to take a step back from his rage.

Wordlessly, Dahr raised a hand to grab my chin, his movement slow and gentle, taking care to let me know exactly what his intention was, and moved my face to the side to better display my injury to him. I hadn’t seen it, I didn’t even want to touch it, but by Dahr’s angry face, I knew it must be bad.

My jaw tensed as he asked.

“who did this to you?”

I blinked in confusion at his question, at the rage that kept boiling in his veins, at the shake of his hands which twitched with wrath yet remained surprisingly gentle to caress the side of my face.

Did he not know?

Did he not order this himself?

“Nora,”

he spoke again and damn it, the way he pronounced my name did something to me.

“Who did this to you?”

he asked again, this time with a lot more threat in his tone.

I didn’t want to risk all this anger being directed at me, so I told him the truth.

“I went for a swim and one man pulled me out of the water by the hair.”

I didn’t know if this information was important to him or if he simply wished to know who marked my face, but I decided not to take any chances.

“When I got to the shore, there were a few others. One hit me across the face, and another kicked in my back a few times. I hadn’t seen them before.”

“Were they uniformed?”

his lips formed such a thin line that they only became visible when he spoke.

“They were wearing rakis,”

I replied and Dahr’s eyes widened only slightly, probably surprised that I knew the traditional name of the pants they were all wearing.

“I will send someone to take care of this,”

he announced and, with a final caress across my cheek, Dahr stood from my bed.

“And I will be back shortly.”

I nodded, unsure of what the correct answer would be in this situation and watched him fly out of the tent, his fury leaving marks where his steps had been.

Not a few minutes later, Mira returned to the tent, this time carrying a small basket with various medical supplies I instantly recognised and hurried to my side, looking both surprised and shocked at the sight of me. I only knew her name because Karisha was kind enough to tell me which of the two she was.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were injured, miss?”

She spoke to me with care, her voice low, as though she was scared to address me. I myself was taken aback with the shock of hearing her speak to me at all, but when I saw that she was here solely with the intention of taking care of me, I started relaxing.

“I thought Dahr knew,”

I replied earnestly.

“Grannicus is furious,”

she confessed and looked at me, as though I had something to do with this. In truth, I did. I had been the one to make Dahr angry, but it was not my fault. And I didn’t plan on accepting the blame for something I did not do.

“I think he went to have a chat with the men that hit me,”

I told her my suspicion and hoped that she would confirm, but Mira snorted.

“A chat… you can call it that if you wish…”

I had so many questions, but when Mira started working on my face and the burn of alcohol touched my open wound, I decided to keep quiet and stop moving my chin more than I needed to. The woman also kept silent and worked in peace, using clean cloth and essences to massage my face and cover my injuries with.

We maintained some sort of silent camaraderie, where her hands and my cheek had their own understanding and way of communicating, where I already knew how I had to move my head to give her better access and she touched me in a way that caused the least amount of pain.

That was, until we both jumped with a fright from Dahr’s scream, that sounded more like a battle cry than actual words. Mira and I exchanged looks for a mere moment, before we made the joint decision to walk to the tent entrance and pull the flaps open just enough to see what the commotion was.

“Oh my god,”

I shrieked and moved behind Mira, my entire body shaking at the sight of Dahr, standing just a few metres away from the tent, in front of what looked like the entire camp.

Holding two severed heads, still gushing with blood.

“Oh my god,”

I said again and grabbed Mira’s arms in a poor attempt to stop my hands from shaking. Air didn’t flow into my lungs anymore and stopped in my throat and… everything started spinning.

“Control yourself, miss,”

Mira urged as she continued gazing outside, fully intrigued by the commotion.

I moved over to the side, ensuring that her body covered most of what was happening outside and let myself fall onto the fur carpet, my hands pressed over my chest with the desperate need to sense the airflow that was slowly settling back into my lungs.

I didn’t have to look twice to know who those two men were. I recognised their faces. Or, what remained of them.

“Anyone who dares to touch my woman again will share the same fate,”

he shouted. Dahr’s voice was like a dagger shooting through the crowd and finding its mark every single time. It was sharp, steady and effective.

I tried to stop the sound from coming into the tent and blatantly refused to listen to the chanting that took place after that. The entire camp cascaded with an ovation of ‘Grannicus!’, ‘Grannicus!”

which flooded the entire surface of the camp, as though they wanted to make his name reach the very stars.

I felt disgusted by this man.

Disgusted by their traditions, by the fact that he had to go and decapitate two men to make a point.

I felt absolutely disgusted.

Disgusted… and appreciated.