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Death Rattle

NYX

A lice, through the rabbit hole…

Persephone, into the underworld…

Down

down

down.

I fell, tumbled, flipped. My only company was the screams tearing from my throat.

The mass of darkness I was falling through suddenly swelled and clashed with a speeding ray of light to birth the stars. Worlds ignited into existence like a struck match tossed in gasoline. Falling through the webs of newborn stars, some constellations lashed out. Leo and Draco snapped their jaws at me, claws following as I plummeted past. But they did not chase.

The descent was furious, wind and terror wailing through me like two warring creatures out to claim my soul.

I fell past a giant burning red star that emitted a low-tone hum and a sickening, hostile energy.

I thought it would never end.

I fell through the stars until they all abruptly vanished.

Darkness reigned again, offering me nothing.

I fell.

And fell.

Until scratchy, bony arms tipped with claws broke my fall and scrapped my flesh as I grunted and tried to grab onto them. The undeniable scent of pine had my mind reeling with even more confusion.

Trees?

My body broke through their canopies, and I failed to find purchase on anything. I hit the forest floor with gut-wrenching impact that had my teeth clashing and rattling my skull.

The silence and stillness shocked me to my damn core.

I stared up through the ominous expanse of branches. Above me was no sky. Only darkness, and not that of the night. My chest rose and fell. The dirt under me was cold, hard. Unforgiving.

I forced myself to sit up, every inch of me aching. Dark mist clung to the air. Shadows hissed and whirled between the trees, telling me I was still very much inside them.

A child’s laugh snatched my attention.

Through the murkiness, the trees broke into a clearing. No, wait. A yard.

I moved forward, my heart thrashing. I saw the world through a grainy filter of black and white. Tension and regret corrupted my soul. I didn’t want to be here. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from breaking through the line of trees.

Two little girls were playing in the yard. One with hair the color of night, and the other with—

My vision blurred slightly, the lump in my throat choking me.

The tire swing hanging from the tree swayed gently in the breeze. The little black-haired girl ran over to it, a smile plastered to her face. To see her this way, to remember the little girl she used to be, it shredded my chest to ribbons.

It was us.

Me. And Emilia.

“Push me, Nyx!” she cried. She heaved her tiny legs through the hole, gripping the rope and waiting for little me to come over.

I could not look at myself.

I hardly remembered being a child. My memories were spotted and blurry, and I had never bothered to venture too deep inside them.

“Bet I can push you without touching you,” little me said. In the same haughty tone that rang through the walls of Luna Academy, just higher pitched.

A fist around my throat made it nearly impossible to breathe.

“What?” Emilia squealed. “How could you do that?”

“I can do it,” little me insisted, my chest puffed out. I didn’t want to look, but she gave me no choice. The tiny child with silver hair down to her butt, as wild and unruly as the look in her dark eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Emilia giggled. “Yeah. Push me, push me!”

Little me paced back and forth behind the swing. Contemplating. Then, my hands stretched outward, palms facing her. My dark brows furrowed together, lips pursed.

After a moment, Emilia began to sway back and forth. A shriek of glee and surprise flew from her. Little me stayed serious, all my focus zeroed in on this one thing.

The momentum built up, and soon, Emilia was soaring. Both of the children were laughing, little faces bright and with this raw, abandoned wonder that I couldn’t recall ever feeling.

I didn’t remember this. This wasn’t fucking real.

My fists clenched at my sides. I tipped my chin up, refusing to be moved. “I never took you as a liar,” I said to the shadowy realm.

Perhaps what the shadows had shown me of Solaris was a lie too.

I turned around, ready to get the hell out of here. Wandering aimlessly through a shadow forest was not ideal, but I’d take the unknown over complete bullshit.

But an eruption of chaos had me whirling back around. The children’s blood-curdling screams rang through the darkness.

The tire swing was on fire.

“Mama! Mama! MOM!” little me cried, my face warped with absolute terror.

Emilia, she was—

Esmeralda Morningstar came thundering out of the house, moving like a streak of black across the yard. Her face, the look on it—

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Emilia, I’m sorry! Please, Mama, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to!”

My mother held out her palms and summoned the flames into them.

Emilia was just hanging there in the swing.

I leaned over and retched.

Esmeralda snatched Emilia’s limp body from the swing and rushed back toward the house. Little me followed, screaming and sobbing. “Mama. I didn’t mean to. Is she okay? Mama—”

“QUIET, vicious girl!”

Little me stopped in my tracks, heartbreak etching my small face. My mother disappeared with Emilia into the house. Neither version of me followed them in.

Shadows crept in from every angle, devouring the grainy black-and-white world. The trees, the yard, little me—all of it was vanquished by black smoke.

I found myself alone among nothingness once more.

I breathed hard, sweat shivering down my spine. I forced my features to school themselves. “I don’t believe you,” I growled to the shadows. “That never happened.”

Are you sure, bestie?

The phantom feminine voice in my head hit like a punch to the temple. I winced, turning in every direction in search of her.

I knew that voice. I knew it, just on the tip of my tongue…

“Hello?” I called.

Hey .

My spine became a steel fucking rod. Chills rushed up and down my arms, my neck. When I spoke, my voice was barely a whisper. “Natalia?”

She appeared right in front of me like a summoned spirit.

“Took you long enough,” she scoffed, her voice outside of my head this time.

I jolted backward, my tongue heavy with shock. I scanned her up and down, my pulse going wild. She looked like her. Save for the fact that her bottom half was immersed in darkness as if she were standing in black water.

I dared to meet her eyes again. They still shone with warm brown tones. Her springy black curls were in their usual chaotic state. The slightly judgy look on her face was all too familiar as well.

“You’re still you,” I breathed.

She snorted. “What? You thought the shadows could corrupt me? I’m not you.”

My face crumpled. She stared at me, a challenge lit in her gaze. Wondering if I’d take the bait.

I softened. Took a step closer to her. “Goddess, Natalia. You’re okay. I mean, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m peachy. What’s gotten me through is knowing my friends are working tirelessly to get me back.”

My intake of breath had jagged little stones shredding my lungs. “I—I just found out you were in here. I—”

She held her hand up in between us, dismissing me. “Settle down. I wasn’t talking about you.”

I swallowed, drowning in guilt.

“After the initial shock of being trapped, it hasn’t been all that bad. The things I’ve seen… The Goddess has shown me so much. She is clearest in the dark.”

“What do you mean? What have you seen?” My voice was breathy.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Her glare hardened at me.

“I’m sorry, I—”

She snorted, cutting me off. “You’re sorry ? Nyx Morningstar is sorry .” Natalia folded her hands behind her back and began to circle me. Intuitive eyes raked me up and down, shaving off my skin to bear my naked soul. “You are not like you.”

I had nothing to say back.

“Where’s the fury? The entitlement? The cut-throat demeanor?”

Fuck my life . Hot tears welled in my gaze, turning the vision of her into a dark blur. I kept my shoulders squared but my eyes fucking betrayed me big time.

“You’ve been through hell, I know,” Natalia murmured, softening. Slightly . “But the Goddess created you in the image of fury for a reason. You are meant to fly and burn. You just have to remember the right place to aim it all.”

My cheeks were sticky and damp. Even here in the shadows, my weeping was real. From the depths of my chest, I shook.

“What I saw back there wasn’t real.” The words sounded as forced as they felt.

She regarded me curiously, searching my face. “So, you trust your memories? You trust the story you’ve been told?”

The full-bodied no that roiled through me was alarming.

She detected that.

You best be on your way,” Natalia insisted, changing the heavy subject nonchalantly. “Better find your boyfriends before their souls are lost for good. I just scared one of them real bad. I went full shadow mode on him.” She giggled wickedly.

Oh, shit. Right. I had forgotten the reason I was even here. I sniffed, wiping away the tears, glancing around the endless expanse of the void.

“Come with me,” I declared. “I’ll burn us all free.”

Natalia laughed at me. “I have no part to play in your three-to-tango. That’s all yours, girl. You must get back to them. Time is ticking. The Goddess sent them to forge you and time is running nigh.”

I was shaking my head, her words not registering. “What—”

“Plus. It is not my time to leave yet.”

My brows came together in confusion. “You…you want to stay?”

She shrugged. “I have more to See. And I have a feeling I’m going to forget most of it once I’m out of here. The mind cannot bear the weight of truth spoken by the dark. Hopefully, if I stick around and soak it up long enough, the information will at least be retrievable.” She tapped her temple with her fingers suggestively.

“Natalia, I—”

She pushed me, hard, and I then I was falling once more.

The descent was fierce and bewildering, but quick. I landed in a shallow pool of freezing black water. I coughed and sputtered, my mind spinning. I wasn’t done talking to Natalia! But when I got up and looked around, she was gone.

I wasn’t alone in the void of shadows, though. I could feel something…someone.

I whirled, and there it was. The door.

A tall, steel door amid the endless nothing.

Cold dread slithered down my spine. I already knew what would be behind that door.

I ventured for it, and even though it looked only a few feet away, it took forever to reach it. I was panting by the time it was finally in arm’s reach.

I didn’t reach for the knob right away. I waited until my breathing evened out. Whatever awaited me on the other side was going to be hard to swallow. I steeled myself, repeating mental affirmations. I can do this. I have to .

The door, of course, was locked. I forced it open with telekinesis, cringing as I stepped through.

The room was tiny and lit with horrible, flickering white light. A cot chained to the wall was the only thing inside. That, and the boy that was sitting on it.

The sight of him fucking gutted me.

He was older than he was last time. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. His sallow skin was nearly translucent under the harsh lighting. His eyes were lifeless, staring off into nothing, framed with dark circles. A light dusting of hair covered his scalp as if it hadn’t been shaved in a couple of days. His hands were in his lap, the manacles around his wrists leaving bruises on the skin around them. His collar looked tight enough to choke him.

“Solaris,” I whispered.

He didn’t flinch.

My eyes burned. Desperation lit my insides on fire. I lunged toward him like I could do something—like I could end his torment. But a door opened, halting me in my tracks.

A woman stepped into the room.

The boy didn’t even look. But his body language changed—he went rigid, his jaw clenched.

She had gold hair, short and curled in an outdated style. Clad in a white dress with buttons trailing down the middle and clutching a leather-bound book to her chest, she came toward him. She had three beauty marks in a triangle on her left cheek. Perhaps the glasses she wore were supposed to make her look smart or professional. They didn’t.

“Hello, Solaris.”

He winced.

“I have missed you,” she continued, not concerned with his lack of response. “They haven’t let me see you in weeks. I shouldn’t pick favorites, I know, but I enjoy working with you the most.”

He was staring down at his fingers.

“Can I sit down?” she preened.

“No, you can fucking not!” I growled, but my words echoed into nothing, heard by no one.

“I brought a book,” she said, her tone hopeful.

At that, he looked up. His gaze locked on the book. The spark that lit in his eyes crushed me.

“ Paradise Lost ,” she elaborated. “I think you will fancy it. Shall we read it together?”

His eyes were damp as he finally nodded yes. He moved over, making room for her, and she sat down. Too close to him. The way she was looking at him—and the way he winced away from her, yet craned his head to see the book…

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” I screamed, fury blinding me as I charged them.

My attempt was in vain. The shadows turned the room to smoke. Solaris and the woman disappeared, and I was left alone in nothing once more.

“NO!” I scorned the ruthless dark. “No, you take me back right now! NOW!”

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. As if I could find my way back to him. As if I could do a fucking thing. I knew it was hopeless but I couldn’t stop.

The billowing black realm devoured my effort, taking me nowhere, despite how long I tried.

“ AHH! ” I collapsed to my knees and arched my back, shrieking my despair to the skyless abyss. “Why show me these things! Why show me if I can’t do a fucking thing about any of this! What is the point? WHAT IS THE POINT!”

“You must know,” Natalia whispered in my ear from behind.

“What—”

I turned to face her but she pushed me before I got the chance.

Free fall. Again .

I didn’t scream or thrash or fight it this time. I succumbed to the descent, tucking my arms across my chest, eyes shut as I waited for it to be over.

I landed harshly on a cold, stone floor. I blinked at the stone roof above as it wept. The walls were damp with water that came from nowhere and everywhere. A white curtain danced in the wind from the single open window.

For eons, I didn’t move. My entire body was drenched in exhaustion. I couldn’t take any more revelations. Perhaps if I stayed still, the darkness would eventually eat me, freeing me from the torment of the truth.

My breathing sounded horrid. Like the gasping, sputtering breaths before death.

A fucking death rattle.

But my chest was hardly moving, I realized. Those haggard breaths were not mine.

“You’re here,” a weak voice whispered.

I turned my head to see a single bed. I didn’t recognize this place. Why would I? A small, musty room made of stone that smelled like mothballs.

I stood up gingerly, wondering what the fuck… “Hello?”

In the small bed, lay the oldest woman in the world. The sight of her actually made me jump. I’d never seen skin so pale and weathered and wrinkled. She looked a thousand years old, and not in an immortal way. Strings of white hair sprawled messily on her pillow. Her eyes—yikes. Two dark, bloodshot pits in her face. The skin under them looked like it would blow away if that breeze reached her end of the room.

She looked like she needed me to do her a solid by taking the pillow and smothering her with it.

I couldn’t fight my grimace. “Uh…who are you?”

She smiled. It was hideous but somehow genuine. “I pricked your finger, just for a taste.” Her creaky voice trembled. “Just so I’d always be able to find you. I thought I would be protecting you. I have been wrong a lot in my life.”

I backed away, not liking this one bit. I darted to the window and looked out, desperate for an escape. There was nothing but darkness.

“Thank you,” the woman croaked.

I turned back to her, frowning. “What for?”

“For freeing my girl from her torment.”

I opened my mouth to ask what girl, but heavy footfalls came from outside the door. Two Gold Masks thundered into the room.

My hand flew to my throat in surprise.

Their enormous frames filled the room. There was something horribly off about them. Their necks were long and curved, like vultures. They hovered over the old woman’s bed as she released a feeble laugh. “This time will be my last, so make it count, boys.” She held out her wrist. It was covered in deep, unhealed cuts.

I gasped.

And then two golden masks jerked my way.

The world stopped. We stared at each other, the moment steeped in shock.

They came at me, fast and furious, and the room came alive with my scream.