Page 37

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Birthday Girl

NYX

J edidiah gave me the best birthday a girl could have while being a cast-out terrorist who couldn’t see any of her friends.

We ripped around on the bike for hours, reaching terrifying speeds that had my belly falling over and over. It was addicting. I lost track of where we were, though we mostly stayed along the coast. We stopped at a bodega, but I wasn’t allowed to come inside. He went in alone and came out with a brown bag full of mystery items. Then he took us off-road, ascending the rocky bluffs along the shoreline to a spot high, high up with a breathtaking view of the ocean.

When he shut off the bike and I removed my helmet, my ears were ringing. We hopped off, but as I stood and looked out at the sea, it still felt like we were moving. Part of me wanted to get right back on and take off once more. The effortless dissociation while riding had been euphoric. The deafening motor matched with the speed made everything airy and limitless. Reality had ceased to exist.

Jedidiah used earth magic to flatten a spot in the high grass, then spread a blanket out. I remained on the edge of the bluff, gazing out at the endless water. Absently, I kicked off my stilettos because fuck them. The sun was descending, turning deeper in color as it inched toward the horizon. The golden hour would soon be upon us.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his tone genuinely curious.

“Nothing,” I replied dreamily.

He scoffed. “Liar.”

“No, actually. I’m being serious. I’m thinking about nothing, and it’s fucking glorious.”

At that, he laughed. I felt the sound deep in my chest.

We sat together on the blanket while Jed rooted through the paper bag from the grocery store and started laying stuff out. Each item had me beaming. This man never fucking missed. Garlic bread, cured meats, aged and smoked cheeses, seaweed crackers, dragon fruit, and some kind of dip that smelled like heaven. Lastly, he pulled out a bottle of champagne.

His expression turned sour. “Shit. I forgot glasses.”

“We don’t need glasses.” I reached out and plucked the bottle from his hand, popping the cork with my mind and smiling triumphantly at the eruption of foam before taking a greedy slam. Then I offered it back to him and he did the same.

“Classy as ever, Morningstar.”

I chuckled, stacked cheese and meat onto a cracker, stuffed it all into my mouth in one bite and moaned while my eyes rolled back. Perfection .

He watched me, and I didn’t care that I probably looked like a chipmunk with stuffed cheeks. The food was fucking delectable, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I went HAM, filling my belly until I couldn’t possibly take another bite. Then I collapsed back onto the blanket, holding my stomach, and sighing with satisfaction.

Jedidiah was pleased. He ate, too, but unlike me, he took his time. He looked out at the ocean, chewing slowly, watching the sunset.

I turned onto my side, perked up on my elbow, holding my head in my hand. I studied the pensive look on his face. He gazed out at the golden view, but I felt like he was seeing something else.

My turn to ask, “What are you thinking about?”

He didn’t answer right away. Then, “When you look out at the ocean, what do you see?”

I frowned. Was that a trick question? I sat up, shuffling to sit right next to him. I squinted out at the glimmering sea. “Um…water and sky? The sun?”

“Hm.”

I felt like I’d failed a test. “Am I supposed to see something else?”

“There’s an island out there. My father’s island, where I grew up in a moody old castle made of stone.”

My brows jumped, and my curiosity was successfully piqued. Of course, I knew Jedidiah had grown up outside the city. Everyone knew the High Lord had a private estate with a secret location. But an island?

“Can you see it right now?” I wondered.

He nodded. “Unfortunately.”

“How far away is it?”

“Not far enough.”

His energy was intense. I didn’t need to be a mind reader to know he didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted me to know, but he couldn’t elaborate—not now. I sighed, tucking my knees to my chest. “Do you ever wish we were…normal?”

His stormy eyes narrowed and slid to me. “What?”

“I mean, like…” My cheeks heated as I searched for the words. “If we were just people. Mortal or whatever. We could just be a young, hot couple. Going on movie dates and taking selfies and sleeping in late on Sundays. Not…this. Whatever the hell we are. A dead guy and a terrorist cast out of our society of supernatural freaks.”

He sneered. “Nah. Nothing in this realm is normal. Not even the mortals. Especially not them.”

I swallowed, watching the sun slide behind the horizon. The sky was a smudged canvas of orange and pink and gold. “Yeah. You’re right. It was a dumb thought.”

“No, it wasn’t.” His voice was soft. He slid his big, warm arm around my shoulders and planted a kiss on the top of my head. My stomach tumbled. The gesture was so simple, so natural. I leaned into him, melting a little. If only I could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

We stayed like that for a while. Until the sky was dark purple and dotted with the first few stars. Gulls sang their final song as they flew off to their nests. Waves crashed melodically against the rocks below. Nature’s eternal rhythm, steady and predictable. Unlike my life lately. A catastrophic orchestra where every instrument was out of tune.

Except maybe right now. Maybe this song was okay.

When he stood up, I thought it was time to move on. Excitement coursed through me at the idea of getting back on the bike. I fucking loved that monster dragon bike. But then Jed shucked out of his leather jacket, dropping it to the ground beside the blanket. It landed with a heavy thunk which had me wondering what the fuck was in it. He unbuckled his belt, and—

Oh, Goddess . He was undressing.

Well, that was forward…

I watched him, dumbfounded. I mean, yeah, I was totally down to hook up but it was unlike him to just—

He strode over to the cliff’s edge in his boxers. My jaw fell open. Partly because of the delicious muscles rippling down his back, but also because of the sheer madness of what he was about to do. A protest got stuck in my throat. He glanced back at me, a wicked grin on his lips.

“Jed, wait!”

He jumped.

“NO!”

Still screaming, I vaulted to my feet and charged to the edge of the bluff. My stomach swooped as I peered over it, into the crashing waves below. I saw no sign of him in the dark, tumultuous water. My heart was thrashing out of my chest. I thought I would be sick. It was at least a thirty-foot drop. Maybe more. With jagged rocks and rolling waves and certain fucking death!

“Jed!” I cried.

Nothing.

“Oh, my Goddess.” My eyes zoomed around, searching for a way down. But even if I got down there, what was I going to do? Me and the rough, wild ocean did not mix.

I heard his demented laugh echoing off the cliff before I caught sight of him climbing out of the water onto the rocks.

“You asshole!” I screamed down at him. “You’re insane! What the fuck!”

He just laughed and started climbing up the bluffs like bloody Tarzan. I watched him, my chest heaving. He made it back up, a psychotic smile plastered to his infuriatingly beautiful face. Water droplets shimmered on his skin and dripped from his dark hair. I either wanted to slap his lights out or kiss his shiny lips. Perhaps both.

I released an aggravated sigh of relief, my hand flying to my heart. “What in the seven hells was THAT! You could have died! Those rocks are sharp as fuck! The ocean could have dragged you out! What the actual hell, Jedidiah!”

He grinned at me, eyes sparkling, knowing damn well what he just put me through.

I stomped back to the blanket, plonking my ass down and crossing my arms like a petulant child. “You scared me, prick!”

He laughed some more. “Yeah, you should see your face.”

I gave him the finger. “You were under for an obscenely long time. Anyone would be worried.”

“It was two minutes.”

“Yeah. Like I said.”

He stood there, all tall and wet and godly, and my fury wanted to melt like butter on a hot pan. I clung to it stubbornly, refusing to let him off the hook so easily.

“Your turn,” he taunted.

I shook my head instantly. “No way.”

“What? Why not? The water feels amazing.”

I shook my head again, tightening my crossed arms.

“Nyx Morningstar, the all-powerful fireling. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of water?”

“No!” I cried. “I’m not afraid of anything, let alone water! Jumping foolishly off cliffs into violent, ominous bodies of it just isn’t my idea of a good time.”

“You’re scared,” he teased as he came over to the blanket, his smirk obnoxious and fucking beautiful. Droplets fell from his hair to his lips, stirring all sorts of commotion in my belly. Jedidiah Stone was the most magnificent creature I had ever laid eyes on. His beauty was ancient and forgotten in today’s world.

I could hardly find my voice. “I’m not scared. I just…”

“What?” He sat down beside me, smelling of the salty sea.

My cheeks heated. I looked away from him, up at the stars. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“Nyx,” he reprimanded lightly. “Tell me.”

I released a long-suffering sigh. “Fuck it, I guess. I don’t know how to swim.”

I thought he would laugh. When he didn’t, I glanced at him, finding his expression soft and pensive.

“Come on,” I goaded. “Aren’t you going to make fun of me?”

“No,” he replied sincerely. “I’m not.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s cute. It’s endearing.”

Thank Goddess it was getting dark enough to hide my ridiculous blush. What was this man doing to my heart? How could he find my most pitiful, embarrassing flaw endearing ?

“I’ve seen you swim before,” he pointed out. “At beach parties.”

“Yeah, when I’m drunk, and on a proper sandy beach where my feet could touch. What you just did was psychotic.”

He chuckled. “Fair enough, Princess.”

Our eyes locked, a heaviness sinking between us, drawing our faces closer together. Glittering drops of water fell from his lashes onto his cheeks, then his lips. The moon had risen over the horizon now, and she seemed to favor him as much as I did, casting her light upon him in a way that made him look as though he’d been the inspiration behind romances, sonnets, and paintings throughout the ages.

He made me feel things I didn’t understand.

He reached out, his finger brushing my cheek while his brows narrowed. “Why are you crying?” he asked, and I thought that was the softest his voice had ever sounded.

I straightened, perplexed. I hadn’t even noticed. I sniffed, wiping the corners of my eyes, and shaking my head. “I’m not. I don’t know.”

“Nyx,” he breathed. His palm cradled my cheek, forcing me to meet his dreamy gaze. “What you said before…”

I felt like a complete fool and was considering jumping off the cliff, after all. “Hm?”

“I would want that. To be normal with you. In a world where our biggest concern was where we were gonna go for date night. What we’d have for dinner. Or what kind of apartment we wanted, what fucking city we wanted to live in. If we wanted kids or pets or to travel the world. No evil fathers or corrupt societies or armies of vampires, or—” He cut himself off, his palm falling from my cheek as his eyes gravitated to the moon. “It would be a fucking dream.”

“It would be nice,” I agreed quietly. “To have a simple, normal life. But I’m not sure that would be enough for either of us if we’re being serious.”

He looked back at me, a sullenness gleaming behind his eyes. “You’re probably right,” he rasped. “Just like I’ll never be enough for you.”

My jaw went slack, my brows coming together in offense. “What?”

He scoffed and shook his head. Scrubbed his hand over his face. “Come on, Nyx. I see the look in your eye tonight and as much as I want to believe it, I’m not an idiot. With everything else going on…” His gaze traveled up to the sky again. “It’ll never be me. Never just me, anyway.”

My mouth hung open. I needed to fucking say something. But words completely evaded me.

The sad, horrible part was I knew exactly what he meant. Who he meant.

“Jed,” was all I managed, many beats too late.

“It’s not just him,” he insisted. “You have a dragon. You may not be bonded yet, but you will be. You have your sister and your coven, which I know you never talk about because it hurts so fucking bad. I get it, trust me.”

My pulse hammered in my throat, so hard I thought it might tip me over.

“And besides your dragon and your coven, yeah, there’s Solaris. You may not admit it now—shit, you may truly hate him now. But be honest, Nyx. I’ve seen you two together.”

“I don’t appreciate you telling me how I feel!” I snapped, growing beyond offended. “What you’re suggesting is disgusting. The thing between me and Solaris, it’s blood magic! I’m not in control of it.”

He nodded. Tilted his head back to let the moonlight drench his face while his eyes fluttered shut. “I know.”

I stared at his face, at the sorrow and sincerity on it. My anger and offense dissolved, something much harder to swallow rising in place.

I untucked my knees from my chest, watching him still, making sure his eyes were closed and he was unsuspecting. It took me a moment to build up the courage. Then I climbed onto his lap, a throb instantly blooming between my thighs when our bodies connected. The sharp breath that left his lips and the heated surprise in his gaze as it opened lit a fire in my lower belly, too. The way his hands instantly moved to my hips to hold me felt so natural.

I nested my fingers in the back of his hair, gripping tight. “I may have a dragon out there somewhere. We may or may not bond someday. I might have a coven…My friends and my…sister.” My voice broke on the last word. “It does hurt to think of them. So badly I feel I may crack in two if I allow myself to do it for too long.” A single tear freed itself, trickling down my cheek. “You know I bury the hard things.”

My gaze didn’t waver from his as he watched me, listening intently like my words were sustenance for his soul.

“And maybe Solaris isn’t going anywhere anytime soon,” I admitted hoarsely. He stiffened, so I made sure to keep going. “But it’s not just me he’s connected to, Jed. You refuse to tell me what it is, but you and him have this bizarre—”

Jedidiah snarled wordlessly, his fingers loosening on my hips like he was ready to toss me.

I gripped his hair harder, locking my thighs around his waist, refusing to let him let me go. I switched gears, my voice thick and rushed with desperation. “There may be a dragon, and a coven, and a shadow… But I have never given myself to them the way I’ve given myself to you.”

His lips parted, chest rising and falling.

I unraveled my fingers from his hair to bring my hands around to his bare chest, where I placed both my palms over his crashing heart. “I need you to not underestimate the closeness we’ve shared. I’m a Morningstar , Jed. It’s in my blood to not give myself to a man. But I gave myself to you. And I told myself at the time that it meant nothing, but I was an idiot. It meant everything .”

There were no words for the way he was looking at me. It needed to be studied.

“You’re the one thing in my life I get to choose,” I whispered, the words raw as they dawned on me. “The dragon, Solaris, even the Luna girls… All of it is fated—or forced. You… I choose you. By my own stubborn, furious, fire-fueled free will, I want you, Jed. You’re enough. You’re more than—”

His mouth closed over mine, suddenly and aggressively. Nothing gentle about this kiss. It was messy and desperate and charged. I groaned into his open mouth as our tongues collided and danced. The fire inside me had become volcanic. I needed him so badly I would die if he didn’t take me right now.

Our lips stayed locked as he grabbed me and switched our position. I gasped as my back hit the soft blanket and he knelt between my thighs. He pulled back to look at me. Droplets of water fell from his hair onto my chest. The water was warm, heated up by his inner fire—fire that I could see smoldering in his dark blue eyes. He kissed me again, a softer kiss, but deep and wholly possessive. I lifted my hips for him as his fingers hooked the waistline of my trousers. He pulled them down and tossed them aside. Then he undid the holster and removed the dagger.

“Are you sure?” he murmured against my lips.

I scoffed. “If you stop, I think I might kill you, Jedidiah.”

He laughed into my mouth and I devoured the sound, washing it down with a moan. It was the most beautiful sound. He deserved to laugh more. I felt entirely undeserving to be the one to incite it, but I’d still take it.

I started yanking at the straps of my bodysuit (which was a ridiculous choice of clothing, I realized now—not easy access at all) but he stopped me. “No. I like this shiny thing. Keep it on.”

My stomach rolled and clenched in the best fucking way. “Okay.”

He pressed himself against me, summoning lava in my core. I trailed my fingers down his bare shoulders and back, tracing his scars by memory. He groaned, his hand reaching between us to push the bodysuit to the side. He found me wet and ready, inhaling sharply as he circled my clit. I hissed and arched my back, desperate for more friction.

“Jed,” I breathed. “I want you. Right now.”

“Yeah?” His voice was low, gravely. “How do you want it, birthday girl?”

“Like this. Right now .”

He didn’t make me say it again. His fingers left my pussy to pull his boxers down, and then with one harsh thrust, he was inside me. I cried out, in pain and pleasure, shocked by how much he stretched me. My inner walls clenched, and he had to hold still, his fingers gripping the blanket beside my head as he adjusted to the way I wrapped around him so tightly. We breathed hard, and our breaths synced. He was looking into my eyes and it felt like falling off the edge of the world.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice fractured.

“Yes,” I gasped. “ Yes .”

He started to move, slow and deep, lacing his fingers with mine as he kissed me. My lips, my jaw, my throat. He knew what I liked and everything felt so good. Every single aspect of myself came alive to bask in the moment. Fractals of me that had disbanded and dispersed into oblivion miraculously found their way back. In that moment, I was whole. Lost girl found.

The stars and moon bathed us in calm, silver light. The ocean crashed against the rocks, in unison with the rhythm of our hips moving together.

His lips trailed from my throat to my shoulder. “I thought you were going to die,” he murmured, his voice breaking on the last word. “I’ve never been so scared.”

Being shot felt like lifetimes ago, but it was only yesterday. Should I have been more affected? Surely this type of thing would fuck someone else up for months—maybe even forever. But I’d already practically forgotten.

I liked that he cared so much. I liked that he was being gentle and thorough and worshiping the fact that I was alive. I could feel it in every thrust. He was desperate inside of me. Desperate to feel my warmth and my wetness and the proof that I was still here. His hand squeezed mine. Lips left trails of adoration over every inch of my skin they could reach.

He didn’t put his hand around my throat or whisper filthy things in my ear. Yet somehow this was so much hotter. His devotion undid me.

He made love to me under the stars until we came together. Our bodies shuttered, and we both sighed and hissed and basked in the euphoria of release. He kissed my lips and my cheeks, and wiped away the tears I didn’t know I was shedding.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “I don’t know why I keep doing that.”

“Shh,” he whispered, kissing the tears away as they continued to sneak from my eyes.

Jedidiah had so much love to give. It made me swell with both reverence and guilt. I did not deserve to be the one to receive it. He deserved so much better than me.

I had to hold back more tears as he pulled out of me and got dressed. He stacked more meat and cheese onto a cracker and fed it to me. He was good. He was pure, even sweet. I wasn’t sure if he even knew this about himself. Jedidiah, the enormous grumpy Groundshaker. Did he know how gold his heart was?

We ate the rest of the food and polished off the champagne. We laid on our backs and watched the stars. Got excited like two giddy children when a shooting star blazed by, right over us.

“Thank you,” I whispered, turning my head to look at him.

He had his arm folded under his head. “For what?”

I scoffed and gave him a playful slap. “Don’t be modest. This was an amazing birthday. Maybe even my best one ever. You’re too good to me, Jed.”

He was definitely pleased to hear that. Maybe even a little smug. “Yeah. I am.”

I laughed.

“Nyx.” His voice dropped an octave, his tone serious. “When you drank my blood…did you feel anything strange?”

The smile on my face waned, replaced with furrowed confusion. I thought about it. “Well, yeah. Obviously. It healed me and…” I cleared my throat, quickly figuring out how to chop and skew the truth. Now was not the best time to tell him it made me fantasize about him and Solaris. “It made me feel high. Like, my vision was different, and I sort of felt like I was in a dream.”

“Your vision was different? How?”

I propped myself up on one elbow to see his face better. The sudden severity that was etching his features threw me off. “I don’t know how to explain it. Why, Jed?”

He stared at me. I knew him well enough these days to sense the words building up in his throat. After a moment, he sat up. I followed suit, not taking my eyes off him. He had that same look as this morning in the bathroom. I wouldn’t let him off the hook this time.

“Spit it out, Jedidiah.”

“Your face…” he started, his eyes darting between mine as he searched for the words. “It changed. Your hands did, too. Your eyes were repti—they were dragon eyes. You had fangs and—”

“What the fuck?” I hissed, pulling back.

“I wanted to say something right away but you almost fucking died. But, Nyx—you transformed into something. Your eyes were bright and your pupils were slits. The same eyes as the dragon that had guarded your tomb. I—”

I stood up, shaking my head, my mouth opening and closing. “You—why—you didn’t say anything until now ?” I started pacing at the cliff’s edge, the ravenous ocean crashing against the rocks below.

How could something like that have happened without my knowing? How could he spend an entire night and day with me without fucking mentioning it?

My fingertips burned, my molars grinding.

Jed stood up but didn’t dare approach me. “Do you want me to take you back to Luna Academy?”

My face twisted. “ What? I can’t go back. You know that.”

“They’re your coven. They’re going to accept you. I guarantee none of them believe what’s being said about you. Especially not your sister and your friends. They can help you, Nyx. Whatever is going on with you, the Priestesses can help you. You need to be with them!”

“What the fuck has gotten into you, Jed!” I shouted, fury scorching in my chest. “You drop this massive bomb on me and then want to take me back to Luna? You’re fucking insane. I can’t go back. You know that! You’re just being fucking mean now!”

“You can go back! You have to! Your sister is there—she needs you. It’s where you belong, Nyx!”

I sighed loudly, my throat feeling tight. I tilted my head back to look at the stars. “It’s not safe for them if I go back. Natalia will look out for Emilia. Hopefully, in a few months or—”

“Natalia?” he repeated dubiously.

I didn’t understand. “Yeah, of course. She’s the voice of reason. The mother of the group. She’ll take care of—”

“Nyx.” His stormy eyes were shining severely at me. My heart instantly dropped. He studied my face for a moment, then muttered, “You really don’t know.”

My entire body had gone cold. “Know what?”

“Natalia… After that dream-scheme from Hallows Eve, Solaris hit her and she never woke up. She—”

“ What ?”

“I don’t—I thought you knew. I’m sorry, I—”

But I was already halfway back to the monster bike. “Take me to the Sun & Moon. Now .”