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Power is Power

NYX

I ’d never been afraid of the dark before. Solaris’s shadows, maybe, but the dark itself? Never. In fact, I used to prefer it. Even as a small child, I needed my room to be completely blacked out in order to sleep. Seriously, not even a light from under the door was tolerable. Now? Now I found myself getting chills at the thought of what might go bump in the night. After what just happened on the roof, I didn’t trust the dark at all.

It was alive.

Even on the downtown streets that were lit up by ever burning signs and streetlights, I could feel it. The shadows dwelling here had a heartbeat… and a vendetta.

The streetlights were brighter. Harsh violet light cast everything in an eerie bright glow.

Did that mean…was that on purpose?

“Come on.” Jed’s voice was hard, just like the grip of his hand on my wrist as he tugged me along.

I planted my feet on the ground and tore my arm free. “Wait a second. Wait a damn second.”

“We don’t have time for this!”

Los Angeles was supposed to be a city that never slept. So, where the hell was everyone? This street was completely empty, save for a couple cars that whirred by. But at least that meant I didn’t have to behave in front of mortals.

“I want to know what Solaris has on you.”

He flinched as if I’d thrown a stone at him. A curious thought, that a small stone could affect such an enormous creature. Since I was the bare foot wonder and not rocking my usual massive combat boots, I really felt the height difference now. He used it in his favor, too. Moved in on me, all towery and crass. “He doesn’t have anything on me .”

I didn’t back down. I squared my shoulders, despite my ridiculous get up. I imagined there was nothing threatening about me right now, standing here in a huge t-shirt and boxer shorts. I held my own anyway. I wouldn’t go anywhere with him if he didn’t tell me. “Bullshit. There’s always been this weird tension between you two. And tonight, when you showed up, Solaris was happy . You should have seen the way his eyes lit up when he heard the portal!”

He snorted, the sound full of disgust. “He’s a freak! He was probably just excited to have another plaything!”

“No.” I shook my head. “No. It’s more than that…”

“Nyx.” My name slid through his lips on a long breath. His shoulders slumped a little and he leaned down, bringing his forehead to mine. It startled me, his sudden closeness. But I didn’t recoil. I allowed it, hardly breathing when our skin touched. Then his hand was on the small of my back, pulling me in. I could taste his masculine scent before I even dared to gulp in a breath. “Please, Nyx. Don’t ask this. Not now.”

“Why?” I whispered, desperate.

“Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

I reached up and placed my palm on his cheek. His skin! Hot as coals. “You’ve met all the skeletons in my closet.”

“Ha!” he snapped coldly. “As if.”

“It’s true! You know who I am, the things I’ve done, and the kind of bonds that tie me. But you… You feel like you have this dark curtain around you that you won’t let me see behind. I feel like there’s a whole world you’re not telling me about!”

He pulled away from me, all softness evaporating in the night air. “Yeah, well, maybe not everyone bears it all the way you do. You’ve always aired your dirty laundry for the whole Celestial Society to see! You like it that way, don’t you, Princess? As long as people are talking about you. Nyx Morningstar, the godsdamned celebrity.”

I blinked. What? I almost fucking lost it. Who did he think he was?! But then I caught sight of the embers burning in his eyes. Dark and molten, the promise of destruction.

“You better get control of your fire, Jedidiah.”

He scoffed. “Precious advice, coming from you.”

“Yeah. Look where my fire got me! Bound to Solaris and cast out of our Society. You think I like this? The entire Celestial Society believing I’m some evil villain? You think I enjoy them saying that about me?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. Power is power, right? They may be framing you as a villain but they sure are making you a formidable one. I wouldn’t put it past you to get off on it.”

This. Prick.

“Oh, my Goddess.” I shook my head and backed away in disbelief. “Fuck right off. No, better yet—go jump off a building! Asshole!”

He smirked, elated to have riled me up. “Only if you jump with me, my twisted little baby.” Then his towering frame came at me, and his lips crushed mine.

A bolt of electric shock mixed with desire shot through me. But I fought it, growling and shoving him away, both of us breathing hard.

He sized me up for only a second before rushing back in and claiming my mouth again.

I tried to fight it. I did. But the ferocity and heat of his lips melted my wrath. My back hit the brick wall behind us, and I gasped, wrapping my legs around his waist as he hoisted me up. Our hearts rocketed against each other while our teeth and tongues went at it. With one hand fisted in the back of my hair, the other under my thigh to keep me in place, he devoured me.

“Fuck,” he snarled into my mouth. “I’ve missed this.”

I hadn’t realized it, but I did too.

I made some pathetic whimpering sound, unable to muster up a word, and tilted my head back as his lips trailed down my jaw to my throat. He peppered aggressive kisses along my skin, unknotting his fingers from my hair to bring them around to sneak up my shirt. I cried out when his hand found my breast. He made a throaty sound in response, kneading and pinching in the way he knew drove me crazy.

“I’m going to fuck you right here in the street,” he vowed between kisses. “Right here. Against this wall. I’m going to make you scream my name until you wake up the entire city.”

My stomach tightened, my entire lower half molten. I could feel his hard length pressing into me. “Yes,” I panted. “Yes.”

His lips trailed up my throat to my jaw. “You’re mine , Nyx,” he said against the corner of my mouth. “Do you know what you do to me? There’s no line I wouldn’t cross. I’ll kill for you, I’ll die for you, I’ll crawl my way back up from hell just to be with you.”

I moaned, my mouth open and ready for when he closed in on it. The pulse between my thighs was going crazy as his tongue lashed against mine.

His blazing-hot skin felt euphoric. Jedidiah’s fire was my new favorite thing.

His hand left my breasts and traveled down to the hem of the boxer shorts I was wearing. He scoffed when he found them and my cheeks heated with embarrassment. Not my sexiest outfit. But it didn’t deter him one bit. He hooked his fingers around the band and started pulling them down.

My heart rocketed, my mind whirling.

I wanted this. I needed this. My back pressed against the wall, his huge body between my thighs. He was going to take me right here and I was going to let him.

Someone whistled.

We both jolted. A group of drunken guys walked down the dark sidewalk toward us, hooting and hollering. “Get some!” one shouted. The others erupted with cheers and more whistles.

Jed’s stormy eyes filled to the brim with fury and disgust.

Oh, no.

He freed his hand from my waistband and shot a violent gesture their way. All five of them blew backward on the wind of their own screams, soaring several feet before landing harshly on the pavement. His kinetic power was a tangible charge in the air. I watched through wide eyes. None of them made a move to get up.

It was enough to clear my head.

I twisted out of his grasp, landing on my feet and moving away from him. My brain was a scattered mess. My heart no better.

What the hell was I doing?

I turned to leave. I had nowhere to go, but I couldn’t stay in this spot a second longer.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded, grabbing my wrist, and whirling me back around.

“Goddess, Jed! This isn’t you!” I tore from his grasp and gestured to the unconscious miscreants strewn across the sidewalk. My eyes burned. You’re good. You’re supposed to be good .

“A little concrete nap never hurt nobody. At least they’re alive ,” he shot back.

My stomach sank. Flashes of the woman I’d killed harassed my mind’s eye. My chest squeezed, the world closing in on me.

“Who the hell are you to judge me?” he continued, moving closer to me, his finger pointed.

He dare poke his fucking finger at me .

“This isn’t me, Nyx? Well, this isn’t you, either!” He waved a sharp hand at me. “I don’t even recognize you. You’ve yielded. You’ve let that motherfucker win. I never thought I’d see the day. I thought you were more than this! But you’ve yielded !”

Stupid hot tears burst through the floodgates. I choked a sob, furious that I was crying. Furious at him for making me. My voice shook violently as I stooped low. “Why don’t you just stop obsessing over me. I can handle my own mess. Handle yours. I don’t need you and you certainly don’t need me.”

The acid in my voice had his eyes lighting with cruelty. My stomach fell out of my body and splat on the pavement. I’d seen that look before, but not on his face. Not even the night he brought me up the mountain and challenged me. No, the look he was giving me now, I’d only ever seen from Solaris.

I turned and ran.

Bare feet on the pavement, the heavy black t-shirt letting the wind up it, casting chills all over my flesh. I ran and ran because if I didn’t, we’d kill each other. Whatever fight to the death we didn’t have up on the mountain would happen now. Not because of the words being said, but the loaded energy behind them. Rage and despair simmered inside both of us. Neither of us was in our right mind, not unlike the night in the Rockies.

But this time it would be fire fighting fire. The whole city would burn.

He must have known it, too. He let me go, which both relieved me and cleaved my heart in two. But not without shouting after me. “Yeah, you better run, Morningstar! Keep running from yourself!”

Dawn rose to find me dirty, exhausted, and lost. Still in the bowels of the city, I wandered, following some nameless force inside me. People began trickling out of the buildings like worker ants rising with the sun. Hot streaks of orange and pink reflected blindingly off of steel and glass, which only made the lurking shadows darker.

All too soon, the sidewalks were packed with hordes of stylish, important people making their way to their fancy LA jobs.

I drew attention. My wild silver hair, shadowed features, and bare legs and feet had eyes getting snared on me left and right. Then they’d notice the gold tattoos. Their movement may not have been visible to the mortal eye, but even without their lively nature, they were extraordinary. When I was all done up in full glam, the tattoos were not alarming to mortals. The golden weaves were just perceived as part of the look—painted on. Now that I was fallen, stripped, and open, the tattoos became otherworldly and contradictory. People felt the wrongness about me.

I felt the wrongness about them, too.

From the corner of my eye, I swore some of them had blacked-out eyes.

“I’m losing it,” I whispered to myself.

I had no choice but to dart off from the main streets. I found myself wandering down a dark alley that reeked of piss. I tip-toed down the disgusting pavement, my brain floating outside my head. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be my life right now. Alone and filthy with a backdrop of trashcans.

“Goddess,” I muttered. “You have forsaken me.”

A ray of sunlight spilled in from behind the building, highlighting a fire escape ahead. Yes , I thought. Up. I needed to go up.

I climbed the metal stairs, breaking into a jog until I reached the very top. Another roof. I sucked in a breath, letting the daylight drench my cheeks in warmth. Up here, there were no shadows. Not with the ascending sun.

After poking around and finding no evidence than anyone had been up here recently, I found a little spot to settle. In one corner there was a lounge chair that looked like it was meant to be poolside. Next to that, a small round table with an ashtray. All the cigarette butts in it appeared ancient so I trusted that I wouldn’t be bombarded. I curled up, pulling my arms and legs into the big t-shirt.

I gazed out at the sky. The ominous black tower looming in my line of sight gobbled up the sunlight rather than reflecting it. I stared at it, the cursed thing. I hated the way my heart could settle, knowing it was close. Knowing he was close. As long as Solaris stayed at the Sun & Moon, and I didn’t stray too far, I would be okay. I glanced down at my hands, though, just to make sure they weren’t darkening. So far, I was safe. I could keep my distance without suffering in shadows. I wondered how far I’d have to go for them to infect me again.

Being alone hurt. I’d never been good at it. Growing up, I’d always had Emilia loitering around, obsessed with my every move. At Luna Academy, Natalia and I were attached at the hip, especially during our first year. I hated crowds but loneliness was worse. I’d grown accustomed to having one tolerable person around to save me from myself.

For a brief moment, it seemed like that person could have been Jedidiah. But no. It would never work. For a plethora of reasons, but the number one was he didn’t trust me. He wanted me, but he wouldn’t let me all the way in. Fuck, could I really blame him, though? Of course not. But it still sucked. He refused to tell me what Solaris had on him, and I could feel it was something big. Something fucking catastrophic. And despite the skeletons he’d seen of mine, he kept his locked away from me.

The dragon that had hatched from my magic wanted nothing to do with me.

I was truly alone now…

The more I thought about it, the worse it got. I wasn’t just alone . I was exiled. Dehumanized. Villainized. Totally and utterly isolated, with the only potential companion being my tyrannical nemesis.

I glanced up at the sun, letting it blind me. I felt no light.

So, this was it.

I’d been right, before. What I thought had happened after the Clash of Spirits did.

Nyx Morningstar was dead.