Page 63 of Mafia and Scars

“Avelina.”

A gruff voice hits my ears. I don’t think it’s one of the coaches. But it’s familiar. Another scream pulls from me as I flinch beneath the large hand that’s only ever dished out pain to me.

“Avelina!”

Viktor’s sharp voice cuts through the haze of my nightmare. I startle awake, gasping and choking as I try to breathe. My heartthunders against my ribs, and I can’t quite get a big enough breath to keep the lightheadedness away.

“You’re okay,” he murmurs, crouching beside the bed. The sheet is tangled around my legs, and I focus on the ceiling fan spinning softly above me, using it to try and ground myself. But it doesn’t help the anxiety that’s practically strangling me.

“You’re okay, Avelina.”

His soft voice catches me off guard a little, but it’s only a small distraction from the way panic claws at me. My breathing is still too fast, too frantic.

“Breathe with me.”

I swallow and nod, unable to find my voice.

He takes a deep breath, and I follow. Then out. Then in. Then out… Until my chest loosens, and I can breathe alone in a calm rhythm. I drag a hand down my face before pushing back the hair that’s stuck to my temples. “Thanks…”

Viktor nods, but his eyes stare as they search mine like he’s looking for something. “Anytime.”

I muster a weak smile, scooting up to sit against the pillows, pulling my knees to my chest as we fall into silence. “I’m sorry if I woke you up,” I murmur.

“It’s okay.” He looks exhausted, so I know it’s really not fine.

“What—” He starts to speak, then tilts his head slightly, as if trying to figure out if he should ask the question or not. A huff of air leaves him. “What was the dream about?”

“Oh, just…some nightmare. I must’ve gotten too hot,” I say quickly, brushing the question away. The fewer people who know what really plagues me, the better. After getting to know me, people expect me to be a ray of sunshine in their lives, and I want to be that so desperately that it’s simply easier to keep it up—even when that’s not what I’m feeling inside.

Viktor eyes me carefully. “I can turn the AC up?”

“No, I’m okay now.”

“Okay.” He starts to walk away, and I let out the breath of air I’ve been holding. He doesn’t push to know more. He doesn’t needle me toexplain why I’m screaming in the middle of the night. He just asked if I need the AC on, and that’s it. And I’m thankful for that. “I’ll be outside the room if you need anything.”

I nod.

He pauses at the door, turning slightly back to face me. “I’ll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you or the children.” His voice is quiet yet determined. And the way he says my name and rolls the sounds…it’s comforting and yet arousing at the same time. I don’t know what to make of him or my feelings, especially after what happened with the attack on the compound, so I say nothing.

The door finally clicks shut, and I sag against the headboard.

I stare at the door for a moment longer before sinking back beneath the covers.

Staring up at the ceiling and the fan, my thoughts are a jumble of things, and I know sleep is a thing of the past.

I’ll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you or the children.

What does he mean? I want to ask him, but it’s too late now. Anyway, I know it’s just something people say sometimes. How can he protect us forever if we’re leaving soon? Because he won’t always be around then…

My brow crinkles a little at the way that thought makes my heart squeeze—and the way that disappointment, strong and in full force, smacks into me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

VIKTOR

A huff of air leaves me as I turn in the chair for the fifth time since Avelina’s nightmare woke her up.

I’m restless. And for once, it’s not because of my thoughts or being unable to turn them off as they speed past one another again and again. It’s because Avelina has consumed them.And the feeling isn’t as uncomfortable as I’d expect.