Page 170 of Mafia and Scars

And that’s the worst part of this all. I knew before I asked. I knew he wouldn’t leave his family here. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel like he’s picking them over what we could have had together.

We stand there for what feels like a long time, the unspoken words just filling the room between us. I want to plead with him to come with me. But none of the words will come out. They stick like thorns in my throat.

“I should try to pack some stuff before I wake the kids up.”

He nods once, jaw clenched tight. “Yeah, of course…”

I walk away quickly. Because I know if I stay close to him, I’ll go to pieces.

And with each step I take away from him, I feel like a failure.

Before I get too far away from him, I hear him speak again. “I’ll always protect you, Avelina. Even from far away.That’s a promise.”

I close my eyes as the sting of tears hits me hard. “I know,” I whisper.

I spend the next couple of hours packing up our things in silence. A while later, Sofia yawns in the hallway, rubbing at her eyes, her hair a messy halo of disheveled pigtails. “Are we going on a trip?” she asks.

I plaster on a sunny smile even though my vision blurs a bit with tears. “We’re going back to our apartment.”

“For how long? Is everyone coming? Can we bring Queenie?”

“No, baby, we can’t. She has to stay here with Viktor.”

She studies my face, but she doesn’t ask me why. Then she walks to her room, and I hear the scuffle of her putting things into the backpack Viktor bought her.

I go to the door and watch her. As she gathers her things, Queenie snuggles into her side, as if sensing something is happening. I can’t help the pang in my chest. I want to believe I’m doing the right thing here. But a part of me in the back of my head wonders if running away is solving anything.

That pit in my stomach grows.

But something has to change. I can’t live with this sort of danger hanging over us, especially not over my children.

One of the men collected my car for me from the shop. I shove the last of our things into the back after a few rounds of luggage Tetris to make it all fit. The kids are in the car too. My gaze flickers to the window of the second floor. It’s Viktor’s room.

He doesn’t come to see us off. But in my pocket is the note he left on the nightstand when I made one of my trips to put our luggage in the car.‘If you need me, I’ll come. No questions. No hesitation.’

I know he means it. And it takes everything to hold back my tears.

“Will he miss us?” Sofia murmurs from the back seat as I get in behind the wheel.

“Yeah, baby… I bet he already does.”

I start the ignition and drive away.

And I don’t look back.

Because if I do, I won’t leave.

But I have to.

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

VIKTOR

Our coordinated hits took out the main members of the Albanian mob, neutralizing that threat for now, but none of that gives me any real satisfaction.

The bed is cold without Avelina—since she left five days ago.

Was it always this cold before?