Page 179 of Mafia and Scars

And I still drop in at her apartment on the days she’s at work.

I decide I’ll send her daisies tomorrow. She always likes them the best.

Two and a half months. She’s been gone for two and a half months. I sigh as I stare at the planter boxes. The vegetable garden I spent so long cultivating is gone. Destroyed.

Matvey hasn’t forgiven me. “You know,” he grumbles, looking over the freshly tilled soil, “we liked having organic, fresh vegetables for our meals.”

“Yeah,” Grigory agrees. “Now, all we have is that shop-bought stuff which is nowhere as good as what you used togrow for us.”

“Then make your own garden,” I huff. “The vegetables took up too much goddamn space.”

Nikolai joins us, arms crossed tightly across his chest. “You replaced all the veg with fucking flowers. Fucking…daisies.” He knows better than to call them weeds. I nearly broke his jaw the time he said that. Because they arenotweeds.

“I like daisies,” I grit out.

I ignore them as they bitch and moan. And kneeling, I check the soil in the planter containing the newest daisies.

“Are you ever going to talk to her?” Grigory asks.

“No. She doesn’t want to hear from me.”

“She asked you to go with her,” Matvey reminds me yet again. It’s a conversation we’ve had fifty million times. “Vik, you’re just punishing yourself. This isn’t going to make it better.”

“This garden is like a goddamnshrineto her. She doesn’t need a million daisies, man,” Nikolai whines. “This whole garden is way over the top. You’re losing it.”

“She deserves something beautiful,” I snap at him. I’m sending her fresh daisies every single day now, and they’re always the ones that I’ve grown myself for her. I don’t send a card, but she knows they’re from me. Daisies are her favorite, and I’m making damn sure that she’s getting what’ll make her smile the most. Because Ilongto see that smile.Needto see it. And when she receives my daisies, I watch her every time on the cameras. And it eases my heart—just a tiny bit.

“Then give her the daisies in person, at least,” Grigory says with a heavy sigh.

I stand, wiping the dirt from my hands. “She’s safer without me near her.”

But it’s more than that.She’s better off without me.

Avelina deserves the world. A world where her partner doesn’t have trouble reading emotions. She deserves someone who can be spontaneous instead of rigid and orderly. Someone who can express how he feels instead of…whatever it is I do. She deserves someonewho isn’t me.

I shake my head. It’s better this way. But the guys don’t understand. How could they?

“Okay, Vik. If that’s what you think.” Grigory replies. “But maybe plant a couple of vegetables in the back. Just so you don’t lose who you were, okay?”

I nod, but I don’t plan on doing it.

This garden. This space. This is for her.All for her.

If this is as close to her as I’ll get, as I deserve to get, then I’ll fucking take it.

Later, I’m bone-tired and overstimulated. But that doesn’t stop me from pulling up the feed of Avelina’s office while I sit in my SUV. Was it overkill to put a camera in the potted plant? Maybe. Was it obsessive to tap into her workplace’s security feed? Yeah. So, sue me. Because I don’t give a fuck.Because I promised her once that she’d always be safe.

She’s logging off her computer. It’s later than normal. Just as she’s about to sling her bag over her shoulder, he shows up:Eric.

My hand tightens around my phone as he moves too close. She takes a step backward. The bastard can’t take a hint. Her bag falls back onto her desk chair. The smile on her face is fake. I hate it.

He says something, and she reluctantly follows him to the conference room.

My finger swipes to the next camera.

She doesn’t see it coming.

But I do.