Page 192 of Mafia and Scars
He looks down at my hand like it’s a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. “Then what is it?”
“It’s the way you do things for someone without having to. Like the way you let me plant daisies in your vegetable garden because you know how happy the flowers make me. It’s the way you make sure the kids are safe without expecting anything in return. It’s the way you get puzzles for Sofia when you notice she’s struggling. It’s the way you stayed outside the bedroom door when you thought I might have a nightmare, just so I wouldn’t be alone if I woke up.”
His brow furrows with confusion. “Those are just…actions.”
“They’re love.Your version of it.And that’s enough for me. It’s more than enough.It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“There’s something else, Avelina,” he says slowly after a long minute of silence.
“You can tell me, Viktor.”
He takes a deep breath. “In my dreams…and sometimes when I’m thinking, the images aren’t black and white. They’re…color.”
I don’t understand at first. “You meancolorful?”
“No. I mean that the images in my thoughts and dreams used to always be black and white. But now? It’s more than monochrome. The images in my mind are green, yellow, blue, and pink. Like when I thought about the dress you wore the other day, I imagined it in my mind, and I imagined it in yellow. Before I met you, I didn’tthinkordreamin color. But now, colors show up in my mind without warning.”
I squeeze his hand as I think over his words. “I think, Viktor, that maybe your mind is finally letting you feel in ways it couldn’t before. Maybe color is just…your mind and subconscious catching up to your heart.”
His eyes search mine. And for the first time in a while, I see something loosen in his expression.“Love,”he says, almost like he’s testing the word. Viktor sits there, staring at our joined hands like the answermight be hidden there. “I see your face sometimes, Avelina. In color, I mean. You know, when I think about you.”
“You do?”
He nods slowly. “But it’s not always the whole thing in color. Sometimes it’s just your hair in the light or your eyes when you’re laughing…” he trails off. His gaze meets mine. “But it’s not constant. What if that means…my love isn’t real?”
“It just means you’re human. No one feels love at full force every second. It’s not about keeping it at a ten out of ten. It’s about having a thread that runs through everything, even when it’s quiet.”
He looks at me like he’s weighing every word. “I think I love you, Avelina.” It’s not a question but a statement he’s testing.
“I know you do, Viktor.” He doesn’t need to even say it for me to know it’s true.
He exhales. “I don’t know if I can change how my mind works.”
“You don’t have to.” I lean until my forehead touches his. “I didn’t fall in love with you because you were like everyone else. Viktor, I fell in love with you because you’reyou. Andyou’rewhat my heart wants and needs.”
His fingers tighten over mine slightly.
“Avelina, if the colors don’t stop…I think I’d like that.”
I smile at him. And for the first time in days, that space between us doesn’t feel like a gap at all. It feels like something we can cross. Together.
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
QUEENIE
I smile to myself as I watch Viktor and Avelina. Viktor is my human, and I want him to be happy, and I think he will be now. Because he’s got what he always needed. And if anyone deserves it, it’s him.
I remember the shelter. It smelled like bleach and sadness. The walls were cold, and the air buzzed with the sound of dogs barking and people’s footsteps that never stopped long enough at my cage. So many came to see me with smiling faces and cooing voices, but their smiles faded when they saw how I pressed myself into the corner, trembling. They didn’t see the love I had to give. They just saw a cat who was scared, small, and broken.
I wasn’t always like that. Before the shelter, I had a lap. An elderly lady with white hair and a soft voice. Warm hands that cared for me. But then one day, she didn’t come home. I waited by the window for days, until strangers came and took me away. I didn’t understand why my world had ended. I just knew that everything seemed wrong, and I couldn’t breathe right anymore.
The shelter was scary and lonely. Then came Albert. A golden retriever with a tail that wagged like he’d swallowed the sun. He didn’t care that I was scared of him. He’d just grin and lie down beside my cage, his nose pressed through the bars. We became best friends, and I’d lean close enough for him to warm my fur. I started to believe maybe life could be kind again.
Until the night it wasn’t.
The fire started with shouting. The smell hit first, sharp and wrong, and then everything turned to chaos. Doors banged open. The air filled with smoke and terror. Someone had broken in. Vandals, I think. They let all the animals out and then set the place alight. I remember the panic, the stampede of paws. I ran and ran, but when I turned back for Albert, he was gone.
And I thought I’d lost him forever.
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