Page 61 of Loving Taylor

Chapter Eighteen

There was somuch riding on this one moment that I had to take a deep breath before I knocked on the door. At least the wait was over and I would soon find out if she would be able to forgive me.

I could tell myself that I should have heeded all the warnings I had given myself but none of it seemed to matter now. How I felt wasn't something I could change, even if I wasn't ready to label it yet.

Taylor opened the door.

"Hey," I said, trying to smile to hide my nervousness.

She didn't smile back as she stepped back and let me into the apartment. It was not a good sign.

"Hi," she greeted stiffly.

She walked toward the living room and I followed her, letting myself take in her new living quarters. It looked expensive.

A knee-jerk anger hit me when I saw Matthew sitting on the sofa watching TV. He looked way too comfortable in the apartment. What the hell was he doing here?

"He's living with you?" I asked Taylor. The anger intermingled with my nervousness, sending me spiraling in an already fragile situation.

If you don't calm down you're going to mess this up,I told myself, trying to rein back my emotions.

"Yes," she answered calmly. What the hell?

It felt like everything I thought I had known and felt secure in went straight out the window. I had never felt so unsure of something before. The odds were building up against me.

"Who is he?" I asked, still unable to hide my anger. I studied her closely, trying to read her features. She took a deep breath.

"No need to talk like I'm not here," Matthew said sarcastically. I glared at him but it didn't rile him up like I wanted it to. I wanted nothing better than to slam my fist into his face. Subconsciously I tightened my fist to ride out the urge.

"You came here to talk...so talk," Taylor told me, bringing me back to the reason I was here. She crossed her arms as she gave me her attention.

I gave Matthew one last side-glare before I looked back at Taylor.Remember why you are here.This was too important to allow a stranger to derail me.

"I want to talk to you alone."

There was no way I was going to tell her what I had done while a third party was watching. I shoved my hands into my pockets to stop myself from doing something stupid when I felt Matthew watching me. He was baiting me and I wasn't going to let him win. Taylor was more important.

"Fine," she said in a clipped tone before walking into a nearby room.

A sense of foreboding swirled in the pit of my stomach as I followed her into the bedroom and closed the door behind us. Finally we were alone.

She stood with her arms crossed, waiting for me, my gaze holding hers.

Now that the moment had come to tell her the truth, I felt a surge of panic that she wouldn't be able to see my reasons for doing it. But it was time to face the music.

"Your brother came to see me," I said, watching her closely and as I suspected she looked surprised.

"What did he say?" She eyed me nervously.

"He told me to stay away from you." I moved closer but she stepped away, keeping her distance from me.

"He told me you'd been through enough. He said that I'd just end up hurting you and you wouldn't be able to deal with that." Watching the emotions play over her fine delicate features, I wanted to reach out and take her hand into mine to soothe her. Anger darkened her eyes. I was pretty sure her brother would be getting an earful.

"He wouldn't tell me anything about your past," I admitted. The guarded look she gave me made my stomach sink.

It was going to get much worse than that.

She closed her eyes, briefly touching her temple like she was struggling to take in everything I was telling her. And I felt like an asshole for what I was going to tell her next.